Is it just me? Or do any of you regular lappers end up with a Strip Club wifey at some point or another? I somehow end up with a Strip Club wife which makes me have to change clubs all the time. What I mean about a Strip Club wifey is a dancer who claims owner ship over you. One who sits with you even after you've given her a dance or two. She will sit with you until you leave the club. If you say your going to the bathroom, she'll grab a spot next to bathroom and wait for you.
I was always under the impression that going to the bathroom was an unspoken way of saying goodnight. I want to hang here but not with you all night!!!
Any tips on how to divorce a Strip Club Wifey?? without getting black labeled from the other dancers?
You realize this thread is going to be full of guys saying "yes ... grow some balls" :)
Seriously though, that really is the answer. You should be able to manage a 23-year-old in her underwear without being intimidated, having to be passive aggressive (like going to the bathroom and hoping she interprets that as a hint), or being an asshole. And changing clubs just to avoid her may be the height of being a little bitch... I say that with love, of course, but it's true. Here's what I do if my CF comes up to me but I want to see someone else that day: *big smile and hug* "Porsche! Awesome to see you! I'm planning to (hang out with Cinnamon)(just do lots of dances with different girls)today, hope you don't mind! See you another time!" Then walk away. No drama, no muss, and the girls see to appreciate that you are a respectful but direct shooter.
Make a habit of excusing yourself from her to go to the stage when another one you want is up. Then take that one to get dances or sit at the bar or a table.
Also pretending that she isn't even there works. If conversation is unavoidable, limit responses to one word and look at your phone or other dancers at every opportunity. I have had a lot of CFs/ATFs over the years and luckily none have ever turned into possessive wife types. But sometimes ones leech onto me out of the blue.
Inexperienced and/or non TUSCLarly educated PLs, are not conscious that strip-club world and the real-world are different animals that require different skills to navigate.
Too many inexperienced SCers treat dancers as if they were courting them b/c that is how they been taught to treat women their whole lives.
The difference b/w interacting w/ women in the real-world vs strip-club bizarro world, is that strip-club world is not about "romance" - it's f'ing BUSINESS - being "chivalrous" in strip-clubs will often be used against you in a strip-club - dealing w/ strippers is more akin to dealing w/ a car-salesman than someone you are trying to court/romanticize - you are basically a wallet/an-ATM to them; nothing more, you're a mean$ to and end.
It's busine$$ - it's not dating - they don't like you nor give a shit about you beyond your $$$ - thus why "be afraid" like a little-bitch as we say around here - you are not gonna "hurt her feelings" b/c she felt you were such a swell guy.
Dancers that do this are manipulating you and taking advantage of you for their own gain - and you answer is to run to the bathroom - c'mon man, grow a damn spine if not this will continue for sure and you are gonna be spending $$$ to keep dancers happy instead of to make you happy - dancers are there to please you, not you please them - in a strip-club always remind yourself that you are the customer and IT'S ABOUT YOU, not them - else you'll often get screwed and not in the good-way.
It's business - and in business it's best to be direct - beating around the bush often does not work w/ dancers particularly the ones the OP refers to - the more excuses one gives it's like sinking in stripper quicksand - be direct about what you want and abut what you don't want, it's your right if not your duty - strippers are salespeople and most salespeople don't go away unless one is direct.
If you wanna be w/ other dancers, just f'ing tell her - e.g. "I like being w/ different dancers and wanna get dances from other girls tonight".
Strippers absolutely know most custies like to play the field but they guilt/manipulate many a custy b/c they know how to play the strip-club game much better than most custies.
I was sitting with a dancer another dancer, a favorite, came by and said to her "He is my husband". So the sitting dancer asks me why she said that. I said "she just likes to think that that I'm only hers". That didn't stop me from getting dances from the one I was sitting with.
Another time the same dancer that claimed meas her husband brought over another dancer and introduced her as her best friend. She grabbed mt package and told the friend "This is mine. If I am not here, you and only you are allowed to touch it". I had several occasions when wify was not around and the best friend took over.
I did take both of them to VIP on my 70th birthday. Sadly they have all moved on. So I am a bachelor again.
They know you are there for a variety. The best way is direct but if that’s not your thing another good way with a CF is ask “who else gives a great dance?” After you have had your fill of that particular CF she knows you aren’t going anywhere long term and will bring over someone and then go do her thing.
We basically had this thread earlier today. But we’ve all been newbies at some point so I mean this in a helpful way. You have two choices.
First, you could enter the club and walk right up to her with your wallet open. Give her all the bills in your wallet. Then turn all your pockets inside out so she sees you have no more bills. That should lose the strip club wifey. Or...
Grow some balls. Don’t be an ass but, as Subraman said, she is a 23 year old in her underwear. Tell her you’d like to check out some of the other strippers. Then do it.
Ya, the "you're my strip club husband" thing is a pretty low-brow form of false-teaming that relies on you confusing the strip club business relationship for a romantic one. I mean, once she says she's your strip club wife or you're her strip club husband, she's relying on you to interpret this as a wonderful statement of affection -- and certainly, only a true cad would cast aside a woman's declaration that she's your metaphorical wife. So the hapless non-tuscl PL now feels awkward about being a dick and leaving her. Meanwhile, what she did is NOT remotely akin to a romantic declaration, but rather the strip club equivalent of peeing all over you to claim you as her property and, if you're psychologically weak, bind you to her. These kinds of things only work with really weak PLs
Thanks fellas...a lot of great input. I needed to hear the grow a pair comment.thanks Papi Chulo..you don't realize your missing them until you hear it from your brethren. Lots of great advise I plan to take into motion tonight. I really like the club I've been going to lately lots of beauties, just got suckered by talented Cubana.
To me it helps to go into the whole club experience in the complete fantasy of being a handsome big dick stud that every stripper wants. Expect every stripper to be throwing herself at me because I'm just so irresistible. LOL that's the SS I'm going to be fed so I might as well play along with it.
And then from all this there are only a few "lucky" enough to get my business. All the rest are to be politely turned away. And if they persist, then completely ignoring them often works or simply walking away from them.
I won't say she's my wife but I have one girl that I only see. However we have an understanding we can't be together all the time while she's working and I am always looking for others for her or when we do a couple of sets she will work the floor for a bit and come get me for a couple more sets. We usually do about 6 a night on avg. When I am not with her she has me stay in one spot so she can find me when she's ready and I am okay with that. I am able to either watch stages or she will leave me with management so I can learn about the business because she knows I like to learn about it and they are super cool teaching me. She is always checking on me to make sure I am okay and if she needs me for anything we have our spot to go to plus it's a great place for her to rest and not have to worry about performing. It gives her a chance to get some water, Coffee or a Red Bull and maybe a meal if she's hungry.
Good advice on the whole, but be careful situationally.
I got labeled once and didnt even know it. arrived at a dayshift, small crowd but plenty dancers to chose from, so i got pounced on really quick. I had to say be gone to 2 in a row that i wasnt feeling. then for the longest no one else was chekin for me at all. after a good 45 minutes I snagged one that was on my checklist and as we were talking she told me one of the first chicks i shoo'd away had told several others that I wasnt spending any money. I knew who it probably was too, I told her she wasnt my type, in a dismissive way, and she gave me a look like she was offended. i got dances from who i wanted eventually but wasted a lot of time off some petty bullshit. beware, Dancers talk and be on that SS.
however, If youre a regular enough where a lot of dancers recognize you or have seen you there, then by all means shoo away these broads as you see fit. others know whether you spend or not. Dont worry about it, you are not hurting anyones feelings. Them trying to act "hurt" is them just being mad that youre messing with their money.
Take home messege: be nice about how you dismiss a dancer in general, but if she tries to guilt trip you into getting dances etc, retreive your balls from your pocket, spray that chick with some Bitch-B-Gone, and grab that chick that you realy want when the time comes
The dancers' and strip-clubs' operating procedure is to take as much of your $$$ as they can, not to look out for you and what's best for you - they are looking out for themselves and their best intere$t - the best possible way to guarantee one has a good/effective strip-club visit is to be the one in control and not leave it up to the dancers nor club, they are not looking out for you, they are looking out for themselves.
Part of making sure one has an effective visit is to be proactive if it warrants it - meaning approaching a dancer one really wants rather than hoping she becomes aware of one's desire via telepathy - it *can* happen that dancers don't approach you b/c you turn down the first few and the others figure you don't wanna spend - it also happens that other dancers avoid you if they know/think you are X dancer's regular (even if it's unbeknownst to you that you are not being approached b/c of this).
Why call her a strip club wife? She doesn't like you. She's most likely not even attracted to you. When women go for their job as a stripper, they're no longer think of anyone their as people. They seem them as money. This is a business for them, and depending on how good they are, they can be making huge amounts of money. They don't care about you and probably don't remember your name. They're just playing you for a sucker. They spend more time with you, because it means more drinks for her, and more money for the club. More lapdances. You get it.
Once a girl asked me to get a dance with her I told directly that I am going to try different girls tonight.She still didn't leave me. She was very nice though. She chatted with me for 20 minutes and then left.
I share a lot of customers with a girl who does this. Most girls are happy as long as we get a dance or two from a regular, but she sits with them until they leave, or until another good regular comes in. They complain to me and try to sneak out without her getting to them, bc if she does, she will guilt them ab it and nag them for dances.
If she gets to our customers first, I often can’t get over to see them bc she sits there the whole time. I don’t get it. I always excuse myself after dances, and might check on them later if they look lonely.
My M.O. to separate after spending time with my fav is something to this effect.
"Well I know you are here to work and I'd feel guilty tying you down further. Go make some money, but I would like to spend some more time later if we can fit that in."
I agree with everyone else. You have an idea of what you want to do at a club during any given visit. You have to make sure that your idea comes to fruition. The dancers are only there to help with that (as much as said help aligns with their own interests of making money). If a dancer tries to deter you from your goal, you have to tell her to kick rocks. If you don't, whatever happens after that is on you. It's your money, your time, and your experience. Take ownership.
Closest person I have to a SC wife completely understands that. When I tell her I want someone else, she'll actually offer to get the girl for me. Last time I went there, I told her I was interested in someone who'd just gotten off stage. She said the girl was done for the night. Seemed a bit early and I'd expressed interest in the girl, so I was wary. The girl walked out in street clothes five minutes later. I mentioned that to say this: if she really is a 'SC wife', she'll likely understand. If she's too possessive, then you might be better off getting rid of her anyway (but then again, I'm always looking for reasons to eliminate girls so I can spend more efficiently).
Haha! Sub! "...manage a 23 year old in her undies.."
In some 35 years of going to clubs, I can't remember this happening as you explained it. The only times that I have been the "husband" is when asked because she trusts me enough and is trying to get away from a creep. Other than that, it is kind of what Papi said, "I fold to the puss" and its my own fault. A veteran pulling a rookie mistake.
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Seriously though, that really is the answer. You should be able to manage a 23-year-old in her underwear without being intimidated, having to be passive aggressive (like going to the bathroom and hoping she interprets that as a hint), or being an asshole. And changing clubs just to avoid her may be the height of being a little bitch... I say that with love, of course, but it's true. Here's what I do if my CF comes up to me but I want to see someone else that day: *big smile and hug* "Porsche! Awesome to see you! I'm planning to (hang out with Cinnamon)(just do lots of dances with different girls)today, hope you don't mind! See you another time!" Then walk away. No drama, no muss, and the girls see to appreciate that you are a respectful but direct shooter.
Step 2 - repeat step 1
Also pretending that she isn't even there works. If conversation is unavoidable, limit responses to one word and look at your phone or other dancers at every opportunity. I have had a lot of CFs/ATFs over the years and luckily none have ever turned into possessive wife types. But sometimes ones leech onto me out of the blue.
Too many inexperienced SCers treat dancers as if they were courting them b/c that is how they been taught to treat women their whole lives.
The difference b/w interacting w/ women in the real-world vs strip-club bizarro world, is that strip-club world is not about "romance" - it's f'ing BUSINESS - being "chivalrous" in strip-clubs will often be used against you in a strip-club - dealing w/ strippers is more akin to dealing w/ a car-salesman than someone you are trying to court/romanticize - you are basically a wallet/an-ATM to them; nothing more, you're a mean$ to and end.
It's busine$$ - it's not dating - they don't like you nor give a shit about you beyond your $$$ - thus why "be afraid" like a little-bitch as we say around here - you are not gonna "hurt her feelings" b/c she felt you were such a swell guy.
Dancers that do this are manipulating you and taking advantage of you for their own gain - and you answer is to run to the bathroom - c'mon man, grow a damn spine if not this will continue for sure and you are gonna be spending $$$ to keep dancers happy instead of to make you happy - dancers are there to please you, not you please them - in a strip-club always remind yourself that you are the customer and IT'S ABOUT YOU, not them - else you'll often get screwed and not in the good-way.
Strippers absolutely know most custies like to play the field but they guilt/manipulate many a custy b/c they know how to play the strip-club game much better than most custies.
Another time the same dancer that claimed meas her husband brought over another dancer and introduced her as her best friend. She grabbed mt package and told the friend "This is mine. If I am not here, you and only you are allowed to touch it". I had several occasions when wify was not around and the best friend took over.
I did take both of them to VIP on my 70th birthday. Sadly they have all moved on. So I am a bachelor again.
First, you could enter the club and walk right up to her with your wallet open. Give her all the bills in your wallet. Then turn all your pockets inside out so she sees you have no more bills. That should lose the strip club wifey. Or...
Grow some balls. Don’t be an ass but, as Subraman said, she is a 23 year old in her underwear. Tell her you’d like to check out some of the other strippers. Then do it.
https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=4968…
And then from all this there are only a few "lucky" enough to get my business. All the rest are to be politely turned away. And if they persist, then completely ignoring them often works or simply walking away from them.
I got labeled once and didnt even know it. arrived at a dayshift, small crowd but plenty dancers to chose from, so i got pounced on really quick. I had to say be gone to 2 in a row that i wasnt feeling. then for the longest no one else was chekin for me at all. after a good 45 minutes I snagged one that was on my checklist and as we were talking she told me one of the first chicks i shoo'd away had told several others that I wasnt spending any money. I knew who it probably was too, I told her she wasnt my type, in a dismissive way, and she gave me a look like she was offended. i got dances from who i wanted eventually but wasted a lot of time off some petty bullshit. beware, Dancers talk and be on that SS.
however, If youre a regular enough where a lot of dancers recognize you or have seen you there, then by all means shoo away these broads as you see fit. others know whether you spend or not. Dont worry about it, you are not hurting anyones feelings. Them trying to act "hurt" is them just being mad that youre messing with their money.
Take home messege: be nice about how you dismiss a dancer in general, but if she tries to guilt trip you into getting dances etc, retreive your balls from your pocket, spray that chick with some Bitch-B-Gone, and grab that chick that you realy want when the time comes
Part of making sure one has an effective visit is to be proactive if it warrants it - meaning approaching a dancer one really wants rather than hoping she becomes aware of one's desire via telepathy - it *can* happen that dancers don't approach you b/c you turn down the first few and the others figure you don't wanna spend - it also happens that other dancers avoid you if they know/think you are X dancer's regular (even if it's unbeknownst to you that you are not being approached b/c of this).
If she gets to our customers first, I often can’t get over to see them bc she sits there the whole time. I don’t get it. I always excuse myself after dances, and might check on them later if they look lonely.
@Bj99 - Don't PL's always look lonely?
"Well I know you are here to work and I'd feel guilty tying you down further. Go make some money, but I would like to spend some more time later if we can fit that in."
Closest person I have to a SC wife completely understands that. When I tell her I want someone else, she'll actually offer to get the girl for me. Last time I went there, I told her I was interested in someone who'd just gotten off stage. She said the girl was done for the night. Seemed a bit early and I'd expressed interest in the girl, so I was wary. The girl walked out in street clothes five minutes later. I mentioned that to say this: if she really is a 'SC wife', she'll likely understand. If she's too possessive, then you might be better off getting rid of her anyway (but then again, I'm always looking for reasons to eliminate girls so I can spend more efficiently).
In some 35 years of going to clubs, I can't remember this happening as you explained it. The only times that I have been the "husband" is when asked because she trusts me enough and is trying to get away from a creep. Other than that, it is kind of what Papi said, "I fold to the puss" and its my own fault. A veteran pulling a rookie mistake.
Disappointed.