tuscl

Strip Clubbing in the Holy Land

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
Saturday, January 6, 2018 7:32 PM
That is no country for strip clubs. Jerusalem, Israel's disputed capital, wears religion like a garment embroidered with temples, mosques and churches. Christian pilgrims come to pray at the churches built on the sites of Christ's arrest, crucifixion and resurrection--the Mount of Olives, Golgotha, the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Muslim residents walk the streets dressed in exotic costumes (exotic to my Western eyes, at least) and pray 5 times a day on the Temple Mount. As for the Jews who control the city, the women dress very modestly and cover their own hair with wigs. Orthodox Jewish men, I was told, avoid looking at women other than their wives. Not a prime market for strip clubs. Egypt was no better. My travels took me to the Pyramids and to the pharaohs' tombs in the Valley of the Kings. I spent no time in Alexandria or Cairo, which may be more conducive to Western mores and entertainments. No, I visited places like the Red Sea city of Hurghada, where women wear black niqabs. A daring young woman might sport a wider than customary eye slit--the saucy minx! [view link] In my resort hotel on the Dead Sea in Jordan, I had a bit of luck. A belly dancer performed in the hotel bar every night. She danced very well and was very sensual. (Strippers should copy some of the costumes and moves of belly dancers.) I found our belly dancer attractive and would have liked to talk to her and see if she was game. However, she did not interact with the customers at all. Between dances, she went off stage, and after her act was over she disappeared. I had no chance to suggest she come to see me in my room. It was probably just as well. She could have had a bad-ass Bedouin with a big sword protecting her from horny customers [view link] Tel Aviv, I decided, was my best bet. Tel Aviv is the secular capital of Israel, the city where Jews and Muslims are less obsessed by religion and more interested in pleasure. Unlike Jerusalem, you won't be thrown out of a restaurant in Tel Aviv for ordering a ham and cheese sandwich. Consulting TUSCL, I found 6 strip clubs. I had to visit one of them. I was staying 5 star hotel where my room had a balcony overlooking the beach of the Mediterranean Sea. It turned out that Go-Go Girls was nearby. The club is on Allenby Road, a main street in a good area of town. I had no fear in making the 10-minute walk from my hotel, even late at night. The building was attractive and had pole dancer silhouettes gracing the outside walls. Inside, it was upscale and clean. The 100 shekel cover sounded high, but it was only $29US. Dances were a bargain at 20 shekels ($6US). I found the dancers very attractive, although I may have just been mesmerized by the first naked breasts I had seen in a month. The girls I talked to were Eastern Europeans, such as Russians and Ukrainians. I assume they had Jewish backgrounds because Jews have a right to move to Israel and become citizens. The dancers spoke good English. I got some dances from "Natasha", a busty blonde from Moscow. Her accent, however, made me fear she wanted to kill Moose and Squirrel. Natasha provided some nipple rubbing on my face, but extras did not seem to be available in the club. I thought it only right and proper to invite her to my hotel room after she got off work. But Natasha declined the invitation: "Vat do you tink I am? A prostitute? You are a very bad man! You seemed nice at first. But now I see you are a very bad man." That was the end of my strip clubbing in the Holy Land. I was ready to return to Detroit.

23 comments

  • Rick999
    6 years ago
    Very bad man, haha, Did she say that with a sexy voice?
  • JuiceBox69
    6 years ago
    LMFAO
  • Papi_Chulo
    6 years ago
    Nice write-up - thanks. w.r.t. the EE dancers, I would assume they are just imports/temporary-workers, in fact if they were Jewish they may not be allowed to dance, but IDK.
  • Uprightcitizen
    6 years ago
    Nice trip report Jack. Hey I might have been tempted to get her to say "moose and squirrel" about 6 times while she looks at me like a lunatic with tears of laughter roll down my face. I hear the night clubs in Tel Aviv are lively.
  • anonlvone
    6 years ago
    i stopped reading after the first paragraph. israel is the world capital of white slavery. the amount of prostitution that goes on there, and that is protected by the authorities, is unreal
  • MrDeuce
    6 years ago
    Of course Jewish women can be strippers in Tel Aviv! It is, as the OP himself stated, a very secular city where almost anything goes, e.g. strip clubs, prostitution, gay bars, and topless beaches. Most Israeli Jews are not very observant, and this is especially true in Tel Aviv. I suspect that if you kept poking around at those 6 Tel Aviv SCs you might uncover some extras and/or OTC possibilities.
  • anonlvone
    6 years ago
    MrDeuce prompted me to read a bit further. Russians and Ukranians and white women in general from Eastern Europe are the #1 target of white slavers. they are not Jews they are victims.
  • Papi_Chulo
    6 years ago
    I know very little of Tel Aviv SCs, but the little that I've read from reviews in the past often mentioned Russian women which led me to think that Israeli/Jewish women did not strip for w/e reason including perhaps not being allowed or at least accepted, but again IDK
  • shadowcat
    6 years ago
    Thanks for confirming why it's not on my bucket list. Hope you had a little fun.
  • ppwh
    6 years ago
    Wait, Ron Jeremy gets to decide whether to identify as a woman to get into the shower room at the pool at the YWCA, but Israel's pick for its capital is open to dispute? Russian girls who protest too much sounds kind of hot, though. Maybe if you told her that you would only do that with her...
  • BurlingtonHoFactory
    6 years ago
    Lots of Russians pretended to be Jews so that they could escape from the Soviet Union during the Cold War. By saying that they were Jewish, they were able to get refugee status more easily because observant Jews were a persecuted group in the USSR; they ended up in the US, the UK, Israel, West Germany, etc. Nowadays, some Russians might still pretend to be Jewish, but I doubt it; it's easier to just visit Israel on a temporary visa, make some money, and go back home (or enter illegally). Outside of Jerusalem itself, Israel is a very secular country. Israeli Jews are probably as likely to be atheists as French and Germans are. Tel Aviv is a fairly multicultural western-style city, with a high demand for prostitution, just like New York, LA, London, Paris, Berlin, etc. Wherever there's demand for hookers, there will be Eastern European women and their pimps to cash in. I doubt that those strippers were Jewish, for the same reason that most strippers in America aren't Jewish: high average incomes, above average education levels, neurotic body image, obsessive desire to please one's parents, etc. Those are not the qualities that you typically find in a pole dancer. Sure they're out there, but they're rare. Still, given the sheer numbers, I'll bet Jewish strippers are much more common in Israel than here in the States (where they make up about 1.5% of the population).
  • LecherousMonk
    6 years ago
    Entertaining? Informative? Well-written? This can't be TUSCL.
  • JohnSmith69
    6 years ago
    Babu agrees that jack is a very bad man. [view link]
  • ATACdawg
    6 years ago
    Next time you go, jack, wear a yarmulke and a prayer shawl to the club. Those Israeli babes will be all over you! ;-) I'd be interested to hear how the rest of your tour went.
  • sinclair
    6 years ago
    Tel Aviv has over 240 brothels. Most or all of those Eastern European women you met in the strip club are actually secular Jews. Many of the Jews in the United States and Israel have their roots in Eastern European countries such as Russia, Ukraine, Lithuania, Poland, Hungary, Bulgaria, etc. For example, Mila Kunis is a Ukrainian Jew.
  • warhawks
    6 years ago
    Interesting. Not only does Jack make an outstanding Lasagna dish, I bet he makes a killer gefilte fish for Rosh Hashana too!
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    Entertaining read jack. Thanks for the smile.
  • lotsoffun201
    6 years ago
    Good read. I was in Israel ages ago long before my clubbing days.
  • PrimetimeSchein
    6 years ago
    Very informative
  • anonlvone
    6 years ago
    @sinclair - You first observed that Tel Aviv has 240+ brothels, Then everything else (but the last sentence) was about strip clubs. The girls in the strip clubs may be Jews and may be there voluntarily. The ones in the brothels are likely not Jews and likely not there voluntarily.
  • JamesSD
    6 years ago
    Nice read
  • joeblow44
    6 years ago
    I lost it with the Moose and Squirrel comment. LOL!
  • Cashman1234
    6 years ago
    Well written Jack. It sounds as though it was a great trip. It must be pretty amazing to see such an important religious and historical place. I was laughing when I read about moose and squirrel and how you were a very bad man! It must be good to be back where you can get the proper otc services you desire.
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