Strip Clubbing in the Holy Land

That is no country for strip clubs. Jerusalem, Israel's disputed capital, wears religion like a garment embroidered with temples, mosques and churches. Christian pilgrims come to pray at the churches built on the sites of Christ's arrest, crucifixion and resurrection--the Mount of Olives, Golgotha, the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Muslim residents walk the streets dressed in exotic costumes (exotic to my Western eyes, at least) and pray 5 times a day on the Temple Mount. As for the Jews who control the city, the women dress very modestly and cover their own hair with wigs. Orthodox Jewish men, I was told, avoid looking at women other than their wives. Not a prime market for strip clubs.

Egypt was no better. My travels took me to the Pyramids and to the pharaohs' tombs in the Valley of the Kings. I spent no time in Alexandria or Cairo, which may be more conducive to Western mores and entertainments. No, I visited places like the Red Sea city of Hurghada, where women wear black niqabs. A daring young woman might sport a wider than customary eye slit--the saucy minx!
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In my resort hotel on the Dead Sea in Jordan, I had a bit of luck. A belly dancer performed in the hotel bar every night. She danced very well and was very sensual. (Strippers should copy some of the costumes and moves of belly dancers.) I found our belly dancer attractive and would have liked to talk to her and see if she was game. However, she did not interact with the customers at all. Between dances, she went off stage, and after her act was over she disappeared. I had no chance to suggest she come to see me in my room. It was probably just as well. She could have had a bad-ass Bedouin with a big sword protecting her from horny customers
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Tel Aviv, I decided, was my best bet. Tel Aviv is the secular capital of Israel, the city where Jews and Muslims are less obsessed by religion and more interested in pleasure. Unlike Jerusalem, you won't be thrown out of a restaurant in Tel Aviv for ordering a ham and cheese sandwich. Consulting TUSCL, I found 6 strip clubs. I had to visit one of them.

I was staying 5 star hotel where my room had a balcony overlooking the beach of the Mediterranean Sea. It turned out that Go-Go Girls was nearby. The club is on Allenby Road, a main street in a good area of town. I had no fear in making the 10-minute walk from my hotel, even late at night.

The building was attractive and had pole dancer silhouettes gracing the outside walls. Inside, it was upscale and clean. The 100 shekel cover sounded high, but it was only $29US. Dances were a bargain at 20 shekels ($6US).

I found the dancers very attractive, although I may have just been mesmerized by the first naked breasts I had seen in a month. The girls I talked to were Eastern Europeans, such as Russians and Ukrainians. I assume they had Jewish backgrounds because Jews have a right to move to Israel and become citizens. The dancers spoke good English.

I got some dances from "Natasha", a busty blonde from Moscow. Her accent, however, made me fear she wanted to kill Moose and Squirrel. Natasha provided some nipple rubbing on my face, but extras did not seem to be available in the club.

I thought it only right and proper to invite her to my hotel room after she got off work. But Natasha declined the invitation:

"Vat do you tink I am? A prostitute? You are a very bad man! You seemed nice at first. But now I see you are a very bad man."

That was the end of my strip clubbing in the Holy Land. I was ready to return to Detroit.