So I am a strip club newb and have many questions.
So I was at the start of a topless dance last week. The girl was facing/straddling me, she lifted herself up and pulled her bottoms down for a few seconds in almost an offering gesture. Is this a secret unspoken symbol that touching the kitty is ok? Is putting her tits basically on my lips an interpretable symbol that kissing, licking is ok?
I am from Dallas where contact is very heavy 2 way.
It's a crapshoot, many do it to entice-you/turn you-on but they don't necessarily want you to touch - only way to kmow is to make a move.
I usually just go for it and move in just slow-enough to give her a chance to move my hand or mouth if she's not interested - other SCers believe it's best to just ask and that's probably the best way to go.
Go for the touch and/or lick without being too aggressive but make it count. I don't suggest asking.
Yes and yes. Have fun. Dont over think, just do it.
Better to try and be pushed away - then sit back and watch. Curious to know which Dallas - because it's sure not the norm. I've had some DATY each time with my last ATF - and that one really caught me as much as a surprise as the DFK - hence the ATF.
Maybe she thought you were a gynocologist
I would ask. But there's a certain way that I would ask. When she pulled her thong down or to the side, I'd complement her on how nice her kitty looks and then ask her if she likes having it touched or kissed. At that point she'll either offer to let you do it, or she'll explain why she ordinarily doesn't. I can understand possibility of killing the mood but that's one of those things that you work out in the pre-dance conversation. When she comes to sit next to you, ask her these things so that she knows what your desires and expectations are and she'll tell you what her what the boundaries and limitations are.
-->"I usually just go for it and move in just slow-enough to give her a chance to move my hand or mouth if she's not interested - other SCers believe it's best to just ask and that's probably the best way to go."
With a stripper who you don't know, and don't know her limits, I personally seek consent before touching her genitals, even in a high contact club. I am usually in Papi's latter group -- I just ask, I don't see only upsides and no downsides, and it does not "ruin the mood" for me if she says no. But, the fact is, as long as you move your hand slowly enough, she knows exactly what you're doing, so I think that counts as seeking consent.
Here's one of my favorites that I've only written about once or twice here: sometimes I'll just put my hand in hers and whisper to her, "put my hand wherever you want it" or something similarly corny. If she's ok with you touching her pussy, she'll pretty much always put it there; similarly, if she's not, she'll keep away from her pussy, so that gets you your implicit denial without "killing the mood". One of my minor victories was with a stripper who had steadfastly refused to let me touch her pussy (low touch club, so this wasn't super uncommon)... I did the "put my hand where you want it" routine, and after a little tour of her hips and ass, she put it right on her pussy. I'm convinced -- or maybe just blithely fooling myself -- that the fact that SHE was in control of the touching, is what got her to lower her limits. So, who knows, maybe if the girl is on the fence, giving her relatively more control of the action is more likely to get you what you want
^^^ correction, "I don't see only upsides and no downsides" should be "I see only upsides and no downsides"
IMO there may be pros and cons to asking or not asking.
Many a dancer wants to do/allow the least and are kinda "pre-programmed" in their minds to turn down the PLs when they ask for 'X' - thus her immediate reaction to "can I suck your tits" may be "no" b/c that is how she's pre-programmed - but if one just goes for it she may let it slide as the custy really wanting it and her not wanting to turn him down/away and thus turning down his $$$ - i.e. she may see the guy that just asks as easier to manipulate/control and say no to whereas the aggressive guy as being a guy that knows what he wants.
And the contrary can also be true - she may appreciate the custy asking and perhaps say yes when she may be "pre-programmed" to say no; and be pissed by the custy not asking.
In the end I've found that being proactive in strip-clubs often leads to better-returns vs being "the nice guy" that doesn't go for what he wants - IME dancers often times don't push the limits but will go further if the custy initiates it.
Thanks to everyone for the comments. I went again yesterday and was proactive in leading the girl to do what I wanted and got a satisfying result.
It is interesting to see the range of responses. Some of you guys are clearly in the camp of it's my money so she needs to do what I want. And some of you are in the middle. I have decided to think of it somewhat like an employer-employee relationship. If you want cheerful service from an employee you need to be considerate in how you ask them to do their job. And if they don't do what you want move on.
After some internal reflection is that part of what I may be after is the fantasy of control. It may take the right dancer to pick up on that and respond accordingly to become my instant ATF.
To answer where this was, this was bucks cabaret in fort worth. Although I would caution any of you to go there any take my comments as gospel. I am new to this and don't understand the unwritten rules. I will say that club by far has the best day shift of anywhere. The day shift there is really busy and feels like the night shift at other clubs.
nicely push the envelope...
She probably wanted you to have a more enjoyable time so you tip her more money. If you want to touch or lick, go for it and see how she responds. Money can smooth away any awkwardness.