Sex Joke - something jackslash would say.

avatar for shailynn
shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
Having sex with four people is a foursome. Having sex with three people is a theesome.

Now I know why people call me handsome.

34 comments

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avatar for shailynn
shailynn
7 years ago
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh more.
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shailynn
7 years ago
Don’t stress if someone says you are fat.

You’re bigger than that.
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shailynn
7 years ago
My favorite sex position is the JFK.

I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
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MackTruck
7 years ago
What does a push up bra and a bag of chips have in common?

When you open them up you find out they are both half full
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
Do you know the name of my favorite magician?

David Cop-a-feel...(grabs stripper’s ass)
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jackslash
7 years ago
The JFK joke is the best--and the sickest.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
7 years ago
jack,

Sickest is true, but that's it. There are few things I won't joke about, and that is one of them. Those events and things that hit me very hard, emotionally, in my life are off limits.
avatar for BurlingtonHoFactory
BurlingtonHoFactory
7 years ago
@Clubber,

Come on, it's been over 50 years. I thought it was pretty funny.
avatar for wildbourbon
wildbourbon
7 years ago
Why do most husbands die before their wives?

Because they want to.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
I’m thinking these jokes are already sayings on shadowcat’s collection of T-shirt’s -
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
7 years ago
Burl,

It's in the same realm of losing my parents, my son, 9/11, Apollo 1, The Challenger, The Columbia and those types of things. Very personal and of this country's tragic events.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 years ago
Remember when you said, "'Til death do us part?" (Yeah.). Later you'll realize you're actually setting a GOAL! Lol.
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jackslash
7 years ago
Clubber, I know what you mean about the Kennedy assassination. It affected me greatly too. I respect the fact you can't find anything funny about it even after 54 years.
avatar for BurlingtonHoFactory
BurlingtonHoFactory
7 years ago
@Clubber,

Well, I lost my grandparents last year and I joke about it all the time. And I was in NYC when 9/11 happened, but I happen to think that jokes about 9/11 are perfectly acceptable anyway. I even had a few holocaust victims in my family and, honestly, nothing makes me laugh more than a good holocaust joke. To each their own, I guess.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 years ago
BHF, I this First Amendment and libertarian paradise that is Tuscl, we'll all free to write what we want without fear of censure, however, that doesn't mean we're free from criticism nor free from others calling it poor taste. There are parts written on Tuscl that horrify me -- nothing in this thread -- I try to keep it to myself but sometimes I can't. Clubber stays true to himself and I respect that, even though he and I clash on a few views.
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Dominic77
7 years ago
Edit, forgot the @BHF tag in above post.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
We all deal with the pain of these horrible tragedies in our own way. Some folks need to find a laugh - or they would break down in tears.

9/11 still hurts. I still can’t process the fact that the towers are gone. I was a newborn when JFK was assassinated - so it’s a bit more distant to me. The Challenger disaster still remains painful.

The loss of innocent life - on 9/11 is still hard to comprehend - and simply looking out over Manhattan - the view isn’t complete.

I’ve joked about many tragedies - and it isn’t my intent to disrespect - or belittle anyone’s pain. I think it’s just my odd way of continuing on?
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
If you run across a virgin remind her that there are terrorists waiting for her in heaven.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 years ago
What does bungee jumping and clubbing in detwaa have in common?
They both cost a couple hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 years ago
What do you call the kid in the last joke?
A brothel spout.
avatar for BurlingtonHoFactory
BurlingtonHoFactory
7 years ago
@Dominic77, LOL, these are cute jokes. I totally hear you. That's why I ended my post with 'to each their own.' Everyone here is free to make jokes and everyone else is free to be outraged. Almost like a college campus... minus the part where everyone is free to make jokes, of course ;)
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
7 years ago
The cruelest thing on here (besides SJG) are some of the rap videos Juice posts from time to time. Man those are some shitty ass no talent songs.
avatar for ndnman
ndnman
7 years ago
JFK jokes?! Too soon.
avatar for BurlingtonHoFactory
BurlingtonHoFactory
7 years ago
LOL. Can we joke about Julius Caesar yet?
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
7 years ago
Burl,

Just seems some have some have no sensibilities. I just might accept that some have no apathy and can joke about truly tragic events, but try parents, a sister, or a son. When I think of that, heartlessness comes to mind. Enough on this topic.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
It must be too soon for the JFK jokes only because he was a democrat.

Getting assassinated was the best thing that ever happened for his legacy.
avatar for Bushman96
Bushman96
7 years ago
I used to tell a really dark joke about Jonestown. I don't tell it anymore because the punchline is too long.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
Bushman96 - that’s a great joke! Holy shit! Well said.
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Clubber
7 years ago
It seems to me one can tell the magnitude of a tragedy by the amount of time that elapses between the event and the first joke.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
Today is a reminder of another tragedy that I’d have difficulty in seeing the humor in. It’s the anniversary of the Pearl Harbor attack - one of those days where we remember the horrific loss of life.
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shadowcat
7 years ago
Cashman - It's already been done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8lT1o0s…
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
^Damn! I forgot about that one!
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
7 years ago
Cash,

As I said above, "Those events and things that hit me very hard, emotionally, in my life are off limits." I might be old (not as old as sc :)), but Pearl Harbor was during my lifetime.
There are likely hundreds of events in human history, not within my lifetime that bring no emotion to me.
The first event I vividly remember was the assassination of President Kennedy. That is the beginning of tragic life events for me.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
Clubber, that makes sense. For me, the event that will always stand out is 9/11. It was the combination of many factors that make it tragic and painful.
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