Having an ATF is like being married?

I see these differences between an ATF and a wife:

1. You spend a lot less on an ATF
2. You get more sex from an ATF
3. An ATF gets a lot more sex (but not from you)

I guess i'll agree despite not having been married, but i was more comparing it to the newlywed or honeymoon period of being married when a guy is still getting it, hopefully and hasn't lost or spent half his assets yet.

^^^but in the honeymoon period she’s getting it from you, not the other 50 guys with $50 to spend. ROFLMAO

Your disclaimer says it all as being married has absolutely nothing in common with having an ATF. I do see the link you're trying to connect but since you've never been married I'm not going to point out all the significant differences between the two states. Stay single, sounds like You're much better off staying single with atf's on your mind than getting married...

I've been happily married over 15 years now and sorry @theDirkDiggler but I don't see the similarity the way you put it. What commits me to my marriage and my ATF DS are worlds apart, so I cannot look at "rejecting" other women or strippers because of either commitment at all in the similar way. The only commonality is simply that there is a level of commitment in both cases and that is all.

True love makes a huge difference. I'm still head over heels in love with my wife, and this commits me to my wife on a whole other level different than my commitment to my ATF DS. When I meet civie other women, I'm not even in the space of thinking about her being something I reject because I've got it so much better at home with my wife. I love my wife and not other women, period, so it's never about being emboldened to flirt or not give a damn when others come along. It's simply an interaction with a woman other than my wife and nothing more.

In the case of my ATF DS and meeting other strippers, there is no love involved, and so yes, to your point, when I meet other strippers yes there are comparisons going through my head about how much better my ATF DS is in both looks and guaranteed services. But this is so completely different for me since there is no love involved with any of it and it is just a sexual arousal comparison in the end.

I could go on and on about a bunch of other nitpicky differences, but ultimately being committed to my wife because of true love makes it something much stronger than just a comparison like how much better sex she gives me or how much hotter she is. It's not about that at all when you are in true love with your wife.

Ummm...no. maybe a gf in an open relationship is a loose comparison. You have ignored the legal aspects of marriage and the large financial liability, social expectations, family ties, etc.

It was just meant to be a simple comparison of a specific benefit not a drawn out analysis of the pros and cons of each situation.

@SirLapdancealot
I think you have a more unique situation (to put it lightly) than the vast majority of TUSCLers both in your marital situation (i think skibum might be another) and in your favored choice of strip club activities (ldk82 being one as well). But i won't argue with whatever works for you. I'm just saying your view might not be typical of most married and formerly married TUSCLers, many of them having disparaging views of the institution. Just ask the local gentry...

^ @theDirkDiggler I understand and that is why I'm still happily married and most other TUSCLers aren't so lucky. Also it's why I stay out of most of the convos here regarding marriage. Most guys here have no clue and besides LOL this site is for sharing experiences at strip clubs and with strippers. If you are here to get perspectives on marriage (other than the perspective of a PL monger) you are in the wrong forum.

If having an ATF is like being married, then you're doing ATFs wrong (so to speak...).

I will make one more analogy (and analogies usually work best at face value) between the two situations. Before i would, i guess play the field in the strip club (if anyone's read my "onegina" article). Often cultivating "relationships" with varying degrees of commitment. Only with the most recent ATF, did i ever consider myself "taken" or even taken out of the market to a degree, as in she's my one and only and i'm only for her. Of course, she's not taken, but it's doesn't take much effort (money's a different story) for me to monopolize her time with me while i'm there. So for that time, she's kind of a like a "wife" or WAG. That doesn't mean that i won't ever entertain another girl's company or have a little fun when the ATF is "busy", or if i'm at another club potentially developing another ATF.

All i know is my psychology, or at least strip club psychology, has changed. The marriage analogy or committed partner is the only thing i could compare it to. That and i do feel even more confident with strippers in general. And i care even less about turning other strippers down, although previous favorites (ex girlfriends) are always tricky.

In the context that marriage is the appropriate vehicle to having and raising a family, there are no comparisons at all. While many view marriage for this purpose as passe, based on my experience and opinion,it's the best way to live a life. If sex is one's primary objective in life, there are many ways to do that - but some of life's best experiences will be missed.

People are having trouble because your headline is a comparison to marriage, but you've missed all the major life-impacting aspects of marriage, and latched onto an incredibly minor aspect (because there's a sure-thing at home, there's nothing to lose when he's out, so he's more confident) ... for those of us who have been married, it's like you're looking at the Taj Mahal, and thinking that, "hey, this place is just like my house, because it's in the north of the country, too!". No, your house is nothing like the Taj Mahal, even if you've found some minor similarities...

Anyway, if I ignore the distracting and wrong "it's just like marriage" clickbait headline... then I see what you're getting at. It's easier for you to pass up questionable deals, because hey, for this same $200 you can just wait until tomorrow and get a heart-pounding experience with my ATF so why should you put up with anything but a fantastic deal from any other stripper? I would hope that this isn't a confidence thing for you, but more that, when you have an ATF, you have a guaranteed fantastic option and it's easier to walk away from other girls even if you're horny.

@theDirkDiggler getting to a point of being exclusive to a stripper is a great thing until itself. I totally agree with it expanding your PL experience and psychology like you said. You definitely are no longer "at the mercy" of any other stripper except that one and she, for the most part, doesn't jerk you around. And it gives you a psychological edge over other strippers for sure. Plus the service level and quality is a lock. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

My PL LIFE! is so simple and uncomplicated with a good ATF. Call me a creature of habit.

^ oops..."getting to a point of being exclusive to a stripper is a great thing UNTO itself."

@Subraman
No, i've never really had a problem with confidence in the strip club, but that confidence never really spilled out IRL. And this particularly type of confidence detailed above definitely can't translate to the real world; no civvie girl gives a rat ass about my ATF situtation, probably seeing it as pathetic. I'm just fine with passing on any offered stripper knowing that i already have the "best". That type of confidence.

Got it. Sure, I know what you mean.

Seems like you're preaching to the the Law of Attraction, where the psychology is "your life is filled with abundance, thus want not need not."

You have a sure thing in this stripper so you don't need others and this lack of neediness is in turn benefiting your position in the interaction. Ya there's a feeling of confidence there.

But unlike you I did take that OTC IRL and i find the same principle that works in the club works outside. When I go out on dates or in the line supermarket i can talk to any hot girl because, hey theres always access to, easy TnA if I get desperate so I don't need it to be from the person right in front of me. Actually the person right in front of me is only good for a fun conversation and nothing more. This has lead to a lot more women feeling more comfortable around me because I'm not thinking of them as only sex objects (jokes on them because I am but I can play it way cool now)

^ Never read Law of Attraction but i find it interesting that i could reach the same type of psychology from attaining this ATF. Yeah, the general confidence has carried IRL in that i'm more comfortable around women regardless of attractiveness where long before i might have been a more nervous mess and can also now converse easier, but this happened albeit gradually well before my recent situation.

I guess i could start looking at it that way; i just don't generally compare strip club pussy to real life though...

Okay, now that i think about it, maybe i'm lying just a little bit. I have often caught myself thinking when seeing or interacting with real life women that i could or have seen better and get better at the strip club.

Yeah. Its not like real marriage. Some just like to pretend its a marriage only itc. :)

Well I guess I fit your profile. Im a newly married (~2yrs) and I think I have an ATF. And yes I wear my ring and yes I dont give a fuck about my ATF because of my wife at home. And yes I dont give a fuck about other strippers because of my ATF.

So yea I get the point youre trying to make.

You really seem to be into your ATF and seemingly putting a lot of stock in your "relationship" w/ her.

I hope you are not one of those guys that falls to pieces when/if his ATF dumps him then comes on here posting stuff like "man I don't know what happened" - "I thought we had a great thing going" - "I never saw it coming"

^ No man, i'm just enjoying it for what it is and going to ride it as long as i can. It might be many years before i have this again, but i actually protect my heart pretty well.

^ @theDirkDiggler that is exactly where I'm at too with my ATF DS. I'm enjoying her for as long as I can. Her club and shift are both in perfect alignment with my commute route and schedule. She is by far the best value for my club experience and is also an all natural 9 that constantly gives me a boner as soon as we sit together, and also she intentionally LDKs me any way that I want. She gives me an awesome time every time. In all of my 20+ years of mongering I have not had it this "perfect" for all things I want out of PL LIFE! So there is no way I'm messing with this formula with her.

Also in regards to my heart, I don't deny that I do have feelings for her, and also there was a phase I went through where I had a huge crush on her, but I always kept my emotions in check and see our relationship as just a really cool business friendship. Also actually being married helps too.

^ If i remember correctly, you do get great value for your time and money with your ATF/DS. I wish i could get as much for as "little" with my ATF. Although i do "more" and get "more" for longer, i do pay many times more as well so there's that.

I'm just not the type to ever fall head over heels over anyone. Has never genuinely happened yet and if it has, only for very brief moments until it passes. I've known the ATF too long to still be in that phase if i ever was, but i'm still thoroughly infatuated and enamored with her (maybe 80% physical but i do genuinely like her personality as well) but fully understanding that it's not really love and allow myself to enjoy those feelings if that makes any sense.

I wonder what the other strippers call a guy that's practically "chained down" by one stripper. It definitely can't be flattering and probably up there with the other time-wasters that strippers have to deal with, but this particular type has to be the most frustrating because these guys usually do have a lot of money to spend, just not on them, ever. Even when dancers already know and just give up or try to ignore you, but when you're one of only a few in the club, i'm sure they hate seeing that guy kind of like low hanging fruit that's not for them.

@theDirkDiggler it depends. I am that chained down guy and I get along well with *most* of the other strippers on the same shift as my ATF DS. They have all tried to work on me and I have had 1-2 dances with just a couple of them, but now they know I'm there only for my ATF DS. So they don't ask if I want to dance, but they will say hi, give me a hug, and small talk with me when I am there. They will also let me know if my ATF DS is or isn't working if I haven't seen her. We also will share weed with each other and smoke it as a group. It's a cool scene.

One thing I have adhered to in my later PL years is to always tip a dancer on stage if nobody has tipped her yet and I am just waiting in the club. This has always gone a long way with strippers regardless of whether or not I get dances with them. My ATF DS says that I "do it right" in the club and that is why *most* of the strippers and workers in the club like me regardless of how many dances I get or not. I tip the bartenders well and I tip the lonely on stage stripper always. I am also on a friendly relationship with the owner just from her seeing me there so often.

But also there are 1-2 ROB and hustler types there that will acknowledge me upon eye contact but are a little more cold to me since they have no chance of me getting dances with them. They probably have a little of that resent you mentioned. But LOL I don't give a rat's ass. "It's just business."

Also I think over time you just become the regular of "stripper X" and it isn't a big deal after your routine is established. To some strippers you no longer exist even when you are there. It's no big deal.

^ I agree, but most PLs with regulars aren't as exclusive as us. They will throw a bone or several at other dancers. But yes, many dancers can respect when a customer spends money on a favorite and it doesn't have to be on them as they themselves might have been in a similar situation and appreciated that. And it always pays to be respectful and generous (but not unnecessarily generous; everything still needs to be earned) in general.

Seems to be an unspoken rule among dancers to not go after another dancer's known regular - but of course not all dancers follow "the rules"

Papi_Chulo it's the 'ho code'. It's about as followed as the 'bro code'.

Even though I'm exclusive to my ATF DS, I still go and watch other strippers that I find attractive on stage and tip $2-5. With some of them I like to leave the door open for future dances and possibly to be a future CF/ATF.

I have only once switched my CF/ATF to another that was working on the same shift. The one I switched to did not try to work on me beforehand and it was me that initiated the change. The one I left was the #1 earner at the club so luckily it wasn't a big issue and there was no drama.