Calling a dancer's cell phone

I've been battling the "internal error 500" on this web site quite a bit lately, and it's MOST annoying. It wouldn't be so bad, but it takes for ever to time out, which means it also takes forever to display a page. Arrrrggghhh!

I had one dancer that'd given me her home and cell phone numbers and several times I'd call her, and some guy would answer (a BF, no doubt). Almost everytime, my phone would immediately receive an imcoming call from the number I'd just dialed... Mr. BF obviously trying to figure out who was calling his GF. I don't think he was too bright, 'cause he always fell for the same excuse, that I'd dialed the wrong number... usually he started out by saying, "Who is this and how do you know [dancer]?" What was funny is, the name he asked about was her real name, not her stage name... not sure if he knew she was dancing, or not...

The strange thing, being a guy, and knowing what he was feeling and wondering, made me feel bad for him... at least until [dancer] and I hooked up again! [grin]

I posted about strange email messages and then I get the message Error 500: Internal server Error after trying to post a message here. I think it has something to do with this web site though. I've been having occasional problems with this web site for some time. Seems to be working at the moment though.

Doug: Ah, the "roaming" excuse. Well that's easy enough. I still think part-time telemarketer would be a good cover.

Back about 10 years ago when caller ID was new in my area, I got a surprise when I called a stripper from my home phone. I knew she had caller ID, but I didn't understand how it worked. I had an unlisted home number as a result of a problem with a stalker a few years before (she wasn't a stripper). I assumed that would keep my name and/or number from being displayed. When I got her answering machine and decided I didn't want to leave a message, I hung up. A minute later, my phone rang, and she was calling me by my full name. No 4 AM wake-up calls from her, though.

Does that *67 work on land lines as well? It wouldn't be hard for me to make up a story about the local phone company here. I remember calling and then hanging up on some automated bank service information. My phone rang. It was the bank service computer still in the same menu I hung up on. Apparently the local phone computer reconnected the call I hung up on. That was years ago I remember that happening more than once. Of course I could also imagine *67 doesn't work and I suddenly get a surprise visit at my house. I don't think a girl would do that but that's why you wonder about people you just met.

LOL, years ago I was a bit relieved when my phone rang and it was a computer calling me or reconnecting my call that I didn't hear something like "Do you want to play a game?" I'm referring to an old movie called wargames in case someone didn't see that one. Even weirder was the strange email messages I got a few times. Straying off the subject here but is there such a thing as a T3 line? I don't remember for sure what those messages were about.

LOL, years ago I was a bit relieved when my phone rang and it was a computer calling me or reconnecting my call that I didn't hear something like "Do you want to play a game?" I'm referring to an old movie called wargames in case someone didn't see that one. Even weirder was the strange email messages I got a few times. Straying off the subject here but is there such a thing as a T3 line? I don't remember for sure what those messages were about.

Isn't there some kind of way that your "outgoing" cell phone information can be mildly misinformative? Meaning, wouldn't it make sense for a committed monger to go to the Cingular store, sign up for a pre-paid cell phone, tell Cingular that the name he wanted on the phone's info was John Q. Public, and then pre-pay that phone by about $50, to be used only for mongering calls? You could always re-charge its minutes online, or simply never use minutes except by means of one of those credit-card dealies they have at the checkout at Walgreens. Seems to me like a little secret phone service would solve all your problems.

Just a suggestion ...

Chandler: I've only been asked why my number showed up as "unknown" twice. I explained that I didn't know that it wasn't showing up, but that I'd heard that sometimes when I'm "roaming" it shows up as "unknown". On both occassions my explanation was taken at face value, without an further questions.

Interestingly, the first few times that my ATF called me from her cell phone, the display was showing unknown caller. I gave her a hard time about it 'cause I thought she was purposely blocking it (and to be honest I didn't blame her for doing so). She swears that she wasn't blocking... and she even used MY excuse about the roaming thing - even without me using it on her first. Soo.. either there IS something to the roaming thing, or she was just giving me some Stripper BS... Either way, her number hasn't appeared as "unknown" for a long time.

By blocking your caller ID, aren't you also telling her you don't trust her? I don't answer calls that say "Number Unavailable" or whatever. I mean, what do you tell her when she asks why you blocked it? That she shouldn't take it personally, you're a telemarketer in your spare time? Or you always block your ID in case you decide to stalk someone?

Casualguy: Just remember to *67 (to block your number ID being sent) before her phone number. Works like a charm!

I barely remember what one girl looked like (she was too close to my face most of the time) then she started talking about me calling her to let her know when I was going to be back. I'm thinking I don't even know if I want to call because then you could have my phone number.

<I do not give many reasons for suspicion. .. I do not go out with the boys...>

Doug, ever hear the saying: It's the quiet ones you need to watch out for?

Still more...

IF you choose to call a dancer that you are not familiar with, and/or don't trust to be discreet, you should block your ID from being sent to her caller-id. Simply pressing *67 before the number, will block your info. Simple, yet effective.

A few other things to point out.. Make sure you have permission to call a dancer's cell phone (or home phone). I have my ATFs cell number, but would never call it without her first telling me to do so. I don't want to call her when someone else might be around that might object to my calling (husband, family, etc.)

Another bit of advice that results from experience. Be aware that if you get a call from a girl that you know (based upon caller ID), don't assume that it's actually her. It could be someone calling your number that was found on a bill, or recent call list, in order to check out who's been talking to the girl. It's not smart to answer "Hi xxxxx!" - at that point, you lose any wiggle you might have in your "story", about why you've appeared on the list and can no longer deny that you know this girl.

Be especially careful when you've called her without an answer, only to have your phone right right after with her number in caller-id. Almost always, it's someone checking to see who you are.

Oviously, phones can be dangerous.

Bookguy: Yes, I have EXTREMELY rarely - maybe three times in my life - given my wife any cause to think I could be messing around. Having replayed that near disaster in my head several times, I believe the suspicion arose because of something that occurred earlier that day. I'd been planning an OTC with my prev ATF for the upcoming week, scheduled around a "seminar" in Indy (my alibi). It was a weekday during the summer, and my oldest son, when my wife and I were talking about my trip, piped in and suggested that we ALL go to Indy 'cause they had no school and it'd be fun. The idea was received VERY well by all -'cept me.

After a few feeble excuses as to why it wouln't work out, I reluctantly started saying that "it'll be fun".

It was later that afternoon, that the infamous voicemail issue came about. She obviously suspected that I was up to no good with plans in Indy, and she wanted to check my voicemail for evidence.

Another detail to add... as I mentioned, I do not give many reasons for suspicion. I'm not like most guys that I know, in that I do not go out with the boys... I don't play golf, I don't go to bars, I don't hunt/fish, etc. Basically, when I leave work, I'm with the family. ('cept for those business trips, and other alibis that I've used, which are not very frequent)

My thoughts:

Q. Why would a wife ever ask her husband if she could hear his voice mails? A. Because she ALREADY doesn't trust you. Beware the feminine instinct to sense your body language and your other subtle cues. If she is nosing about your stuff, that's because she's not "full of the love flowing throughout her life and emanating from you" in the first place.

And here's an easy solution: pre-paid cell phone. Get another handset (the cheapest one you can find) and pre-pay it with cards-for-cash (Walgreen's) or at the cell-phone company office.

Doug

Chances are that if the area code is different, your girl might have a Vonnage account which as far as I know can use any area code. I could be wrong about this, but have seen similar threads regarding Vonnage on other boards.

Clubber: I have control over my phone MOST of the time, but the wife still sometimes needs to use my phone when we are in the car for instance. During that time, even though a call isn't expected, I'm a bit nervous that an incoming call could possibly come in that would cause me problems.

Alabamascott: I've thought about using a pay-as-you-go phone - and it's been suggested by other TUSCLers that I do so - but I don't want the additional expense, plus it would be impossible to explain if I got caught with it.

Lotsofffun: I have been using a similar trick for contact names on my cell phone. What I did, instead of using a similar guy's name, I use company names (vendors). I frequently have to talk to about a half-dozen vendors, all of which I've mentioned to my wife, so if a certain vendor name shows in my recent call list, or pops up as an imcoming call, it wouldn't raise suspicions. I also select vendors that have names that sound somewhat feminine to contain the dancer's phone number, such as Veritas (my prev ATF) and Symantec (ATF).

My ATF calls me from several numbers, which are all entered in that vendor contact, but she also uses a calling card (which I bought for her to call me with), and sometimes the incoming number is really off-the-wall... even have seem the Chicago area code, and some others that I didn't recognize, even though she is calling me from the Indy area... strange

My phone carrier (Cingular) automatically deletes my voice mails after a few days, but I have learned to not keep them or save them. Text messages have to be manually deleted, and they can be more trouble than voice mails since they do not require calling a number and then entering a passcode.

Here is a little tip which I found works pretty well to keep your contacts. Lets say you want to keep a number handy, but don't want a girls number in you phone contacts. Just enter it as a SIMILAR male name, for instance if her name is "Ashley Smith", enter it as Allen Smith or something like that. Then it is innocently disgused as a business contact. You could also enter several numbers under one contact name so long as you can keep them straight in your head. I have several legitimate male contacts with names that are either male or female so it makes it kind of easy to add a dancers number as either "cell", "work", "pager", "fax", etc.

With regards to separate ring tones or the ignore feature, my phone (PDA phone) does not have that available. Besides, calls can come from a gal from a multitude of numbers so the ignore feature is not always going to work. That is the problem that I had with this particular girl.

Another note about cell phones: If your a Verizon customer, the bills are itemized, meaning they show every call made or received. A guy I know got busted because his wife became suspicious and started calling the numbers she didn't recognize on their bill.

You guys may want to consider buying a pre-paid Tracfone. I have one of these, and it stays in my office desk drawer. I keep it switched off when I not here in the office, and never take it home. I have a cell phone with Verizon, however my SO likes to mess around with it (taking pictures, vcast, etc.), so giving that number out is out of the question.

DougS,

I wouldn't say I've been lucky, as much as I have total control over my phone. No one uses it other than me, and it never leaves me. MY SO talks on it, but I place the call after she tells me with who she wishes to speak. The times a dancer or others have called, if I can not talk I just say I am busy and call them back in a bit. Has worked well for me many years.

A bit of a funny story on this topic. I had an ATF that no one knew of other than myself. We found out that we had mutual friends, but kept our relationship to ourselves. One time I was with one of our friends when she called me. While talking with her (I went outside for quite), the friend I had left inside called her. We had a good laugh.

Clubber: You are obviously lucky if you haven't been called by a dancer at an inopportune time.

I've had my share of calls that have come at some pretty bad times. So far, I've been lucky that they haven't gotten me into trouble, but that I guess is where I'VE been lucky.

All of the girls that call me now, or might call, are sensible enough to my "situation" and have not put me into a precarious spot for the last year or so.

BUT, here's another warning... Be VERY careful about leaving certain voicemails on your phone.

Up until last year, I had been very stupidly "collecting" voicemails from my girls, mostly from my prev ATF. Why? Well, I thought it was nice to play them back once in a while, to hear their voice and to reminisce about fun times with them... Well, I had around a dozen of these voicemails on my phone - all of which were terribly damning, when out of the blue my wife asked if she could listen to my voicemails...

My heart pretty much ceased to function for about two minutes there, while I tried to somehow get out of the situation. At first, I said "no" that it was just private work-related stuff and I was offended that she seemed not to trust me... (oh did THAT go over well, and of course it only served to further picque her curiousity).

Finally, I said she could listen and as I "tried" to call my voicemail, I pretended that there was something wrong with it and that my password was strangely no longer working... pretty lame, I know, but it was all that my paniced brain could think of at the time.

To add some credibility, I then called a few of my co-workers to see if THEY were having problems with THEIR voicemail, and "surprisingly", they weren't. It was ugly for the rest of the evening, let me tell you... The next day, I concocted a story that my phone carrier had had a problem and there were a few others from my company that had a similar issue... The only solution was to wipeout all of our voicemails, and reset our account, which my carrier supposedly did.

My wife was awfully skeptical about it and has thrown it at me several times (brought up the situation - not actually thrown the phone at me, though I wouldn't be surprised if she'd done THAT, too). Still, having her skeptical about the incident is 1 million times better than if she'd actually heard the girls voices saying things like "thanks for a fun time in your hotel's hot tub", etc.

After learning my lesson, I haven't saved my voicemails since... well, 'cept for one that I have on my phone currently from my ATF... Stupid, stupid, stupid...

I thought it was a standard feature for cell phones to allow you to designate custom ring tones, including silence, for each caller. I've done it for annoying people with my phone, and it's about four years old.

Perhaps I've been lucky, but never had anyone from a club call me at an inopportune time.

Good warning. I remember one time a dancer asked for my phone number out of the blue and I think I gave it to her. Didn't even know her. I was thinking big deal, she could just pick any number out of a phone book. I guess if she started calling at the wrong time I would have to turn my ringer off on my phone. I don't have a cell. Most dancers I know haven't taken too much time to call me though as far as I know. I don't answer my phone that much though and I only will pick up on it a small percentage of the day. Darn trooper association is the one that is more persistant than a stripper. They always want donations. I was thinking about asking if they have a 10 or 20 year do not call list but I don't think so.

DougS,

No one but myself sees who is calling my phone. Worst case, I can say I don't know the number and not answer, then get a voicemail later. Never had, or even come close to a problem with it. Also, as someone else mentioned, Cingular itemizes the calls, but my wife has no idea how to use a computer.