Extras, OTCs and Good Girls
DougS
Florida
I've had many dancers that have become my faves, and several of whom I've OTCed with. You might be surprised that none of them were "dirty dancers" and none of them offered extras in the club. In fact, I've heard each and every one of my faves at some point complain about the "dirty dancers" / whores (as most clean dancers call them) and how it hurts their income. They know that most guys prefer a girl that will do extras to one that stays within the club's rules.
I'm not against girls that offer extras, and I'm not one to turn them down, when offered, but for some reason, I seem to be more attracted to the clean dancers / "good girls". Maybe it's the challenge... maybe it's because I perceive them to be less likely to have something that I don't want to catch.
I admit that several of my prev ATFs and OTC companions have eventually offered "extras" in the club (for free) after getting to know them much better. As for OTCing, most have provided a LOT of service OTC - everything from a calm LD all the way to some very kinky shit, some have been free, some I've very willingly paid for.
My ATF, however, remains a good girl, and likely to remain that way - not that I won't try to corrupt her, but I respect her values and frankly I enjoy her company and what we DO do so much, I wouldn't risk losing what we've got.
I'm not against girls that offer extras, and I'm not one to turn them down, when offered, but for some reason, I seem to be more attracted to the clean dancers / "good girls". Maybe it's the challenge... maybe it's because I perceive them to be less likely to have something that I don't want to catch.
I admit that several of my prev ATFs and OTC companions have eventually offered "extras" in the club (for free) after getting to know them much better. As for OTCing, most have provided a LOT of service OTC - everything from a calm LD all the way to some very kinky shit, some have been free, some I've very willingly paid for.
My ATF, however, remains a good girl, and likely to remain that way - not that I won't try to corrupt her, but I respect her values and frankly I enjoy her company and what we DO do so much, I wouldn't risk losing what we've got.
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You are so right there, FONDL. So many dancers you think you know have some secret of when they broke all the rules. I've also been surprised to find that I didn't know how wild some sweet, innocent-looking thing actually was until pretty late in the game. I've pretty much given up assuming any of them to be good girls, and nothing surprises me anymore.
I've discovered myself to be on both sides of a mistaken impression. On the mild side, there was an 18-year-old cutie I enjoyed hanging out with at the club, although her dances were pretty tame. She had only been dancing a few weeks when she told me about going shopping with a 70-something dude who was notorious for trying (unsuccessfully) to buy his way inside the pants of the latest fresh meat. She asked if that bothered me, and I replied that it sounded sick but I kind of liked hearing it. She then told me she had worn a skirt with no panties and how per his request she had flashed a young shoe salesman. She assured me that he never touched her, but I knew it was pointless for me to try to know the truth.
On the wilder side, one night strippers were complaining that the upstairs ladies room was blocked off in the middle of a busy night. The reason turned out to be that the manager had taken a payment from a big slob vending salesman to keep it off limits while he fucked a dancer in there, who happened to be one of my faves. I knew she had a bit of a bad streak, but that one shocked me.
On the other hand, I've known strippers who were quite slutty with me from the start but kept up a good girl image with other customers who fawned over them. I might snicker over what fools they seem, but I know there are times I've been in their shoes.
Well, I think we men have presented a similar conundrum to women. A guy wants a VERY clean nice girl who never does the nasty things ... except with HIM. The fall from grace, the change-over from "normal" to "special" behavior, THAT'S the real pay-off for the partner. Making him, or her, act in some manner that is totally out of keeping with his or her normal behavior. Makes ya feel all the more special. :)
Of course, this is a flawed system. It just means that girls go for jerky guys, and end up spending most of their time with aggressive men (and, in fact, learning the false lesson, that "all men are jerks") while seeking a sensitive one. And guys go for innocent girls, and end up spending most of our time with petite drips who are limp fish in the sack (and, in fact, learning the false lesson, that "all women dislike sex").
It's about double-reversals. At least for males, we have the advantage of being able to abandon the character-behavior issue, and rely on something much more solid and reality-based -- her looks. No matter HOW she acts, we can always relate to how good she looks. If she looks hot, and acts innocent, maybe we can turn her dirty; if she looks hot, and acts dirty, maybe we can turn her dirty. But if she looks anything other than hot, then we don't care WHAT she acts like. Thank goodness for THAT reality check!
I don't usually like that type of "bad girl" because their agressiveness seems mercenary. Perhaps their recklessness makes the intimacy feel less special, too. On the other hand, when a "good girl" fave points out a "whore" to me, I try to get a dance with her if I'm interested at the first opportunity. There's added fun when the good girl sees and shakes her head over my incorrigibility.
DougS, if you really enjoy your current fave I wouldn't take the chance of pushing the envelope. You might succeed once but if you do it could irrevocably change your relationship for the worse, it might cause her to trust you less. Because I think the real conundrum is that however you start out is how they will prefer to continue, so if you know her as a good girl she'll prefer to keep it that way, and the only way to get to know her as a bad girl is to start out that way.
This question was bouncing in my mind a lot more when I was with my prev ATF (that'd be the dancer that we both know - the one that I re-located in Indy several months ago). Especially as things got steamier. Perhaps your ITC experiences with her were different from mine (I'd like to hear about them, if you want to email me), but I am fairly sure she was clean and rule bound. I believe that as we got to know each other better, and she felt more comfortable with me, she became more relaxed. Not that it was always about it, but she also got into a money crunch, which I feel influenced a few things.
As for my ATF, I would be totally shocked if it were all an act. I'm confident that she's not an "extras" type girl.