Who could it be?....What could it be?
SebastianCobb
California
ATF set up the date OTC. I've never seen her be in a such a pleasant mood as today. She really seemed like she was geniunely digging me. So much that she picked a basic inexpensive restaurant to go eat. The date went really well.
Then she decided to invite her friend to our next stop (from a previous OTC fiasco who I hadn't seen since). While having drinks both were discussing (for what seemed like forever) some drama from their club. My ATF decided to take a picture with (something she has been reluctant to do in the past). She was very affectionate, so much that we looked like a couple.
We went back to the room (all three of us). My ATF and her friend then went inside the bathroom and stayed in there for about 30 Minutes. My ATF who has a tough exterior completely broke down in tears. I heard the following conversation through the door:
Friend: You have to remember that you have a kid. You have to think about your family.
Friend: Does this guy have issues?
Friend: There was a weird guy that wanted to ride with us in the car. You've got to think about your safety.
Friend: Ive had guys in the club grabbing my kitty and not wanting to let go.
The name "Andrew" came up a couple of times. On one of my OTC dates, this so called "Andrew" called her. I saw that name on one of her IG Posts as well.
We were supposed to go to her club after our meeting. She was going to ride in my car. Now I don't know who if this coversation was about me (because the friend is a huge cockblock) or about this "Andrew" character.
If so who is this Andrew and why did it upset her so much?....Or was this whole thing about me?.....
Then she decided to invite her friend to our next stop (from a previous OTC fiasco who I hadn't seen since). While having drinks both were discussing (for what seemed like forever) some drama from their club. My ATF decided to take a picture with (something she has been reluctant to do in the past). She was very affectionate, so much that we looked like a couple.
We went back to the room (all three of us). My ATF and her friend then went inside the bathroom and stayed in there for about 30 Minutes. My ATF who has a tough exterior completely broke down in tears. I heard the following conversation through the door:
Friend: You have to remember that you have a kid. You have to think about your family.
Friend: Does this guy have issues?
Friend: There was a weird guy that wanted to ride with us in the car. You've got to think about your safety.
Friend: Ive had guys in the club grabbing my kitty and not wanting to let go.
The name "Andrew" came up a couple of times. On one of my OTC dates, this so called "Andrew" called her. I saw that name on one of her IG Posts as well.
We were supposed to go to her club after our meeting. She was going to ride in my car. Now I don't know who if this coversation was about me (because the friend is a huge cockblock) or about this "Andrew" character.
If so who is this Andrew and why did it upset her so much?....Or was this whole thing about me?.....
90 comments
2. Why do you keep seeing your "ATF" when all she seems to do is inject confusion and stress into your life?
Most guys use the term ATF to refer to a dancer that does the exact opposite of what your dancer is doing to you.
Regardless, how are a bunch of anonymous guys on a message board supposed to know who "Andrew" is?
This shit is bugging me so much that I can't even sleep......I know her past......thug boyfriends, a stint as a porn star, escort, stripper, worked at a massage parlor, criminal record........At this point can anyone say it's lust?.....I love her and as corny as it may be sound I do want to "rescue her"......
You're making huge, mushroom-cloud-inducing mistakes, and you should cut bait and run.
That said, you seem determined charge forward into disaster. So, I hope that you make it to the other side with some lessons learned.
Good luck.
I came to the conclusion that she doesn't know how to deal with a non-abusive guy, can't learn to appreciate a non-abusive guy, can't add non-abusive to the list of traits she's attracted to, so despite how much I'm attracted to her I'm putting distance between us and letting go.
I advise the same for you.
Personally, if you can't talk honest and open with her then it will never be. Test her true love. Tell her you only make 30K a year and see if she makes a run for it.
You need to think about what your situation, and you need to calm down, take a walk or something, and then attempt to view this from an external perspective. You appear to be acting emotionally - and that's clouding your judgement.
Keep in mind the facts (that you already know):
She has a kid with another guy. (The other guy could be named Andrew). Those ties can be powerful.
She has wide emotional swings. She was happy at the start of your date - and she was a mess by the end. That spells drama and it should be a red flag.
She has a friend who either meddles in her shit - or who is a neutralizing force - and either way she upsets her emotional state.
Don't - I repeat don't tell her you have feelings for her! Don't think Pretty Woman thoughts! If you have these thoughts - take another walk outdoors - breathe deeply - enjoy the feeling as the fresh air fills your lungs - and keep walking! Let your head clear - allow your emotions to calm - and remember that you've created an emotional attachment to someone who views your dates as business transactions (it's not love!)
1. You went to dinner with ATF.
2. ATFs girlfriend shows up.
3. All 3 of you travel to hotel, is this a hotel you paid for?
4. ATF and ATFs buddy go into hotel bathroom and ATF cries for 30 minutes while your eavesdropping.
Everyone leaves? Did you bang one or both of them?
Were you supposed to bang the ATF by the ATFs girlfriend ruined it?
I’m so confused!
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes / Yes
4. Yes
We tried to have fun but the drama killed the mood and my little friend was as limp as a noodle....ATF's friend ruined everything......
You gotta draw the line to cut this third party out and that means YOU.
This is true regardless of a business transaction or personal relationship. Hell...maybe more in a business transaction since you are a completely dissatisfied customer.
Like many of us, you are a PL looking for permission to take the wrong path.
In many cases the girl doesn't know (for sure) that a pl has such stong feelings.
You had an otc date - and you didn't even get to f--k your atf. She allowed her friend to cock block you because she knew you are so in love with her that you wouldn't do anything. There's no need for you to tell her how you feel - as she already knows you are totally into her.
If the answer is Yes - then you are a customer - not a boyfriend.
Once you are a customer - that's what you will remain.
Just raggin' on ya, man! Though I've never been cock-blocked on an OTC date by another chick, I've certainly been in the position of wondering whether I should have told my ATF how I felt about her. I never did, really. (However, on our first date, overnight in a hotel room, I did tell her that I loved her -- and she said it back! We both laughed it off in the morning, except I wasn't really laughing.)
My short answer to your question is: don't tell . . . and run!
Did you pay her to go on the otc date? If you did - think about that.
Don't worry about her ego. You paid her to go out with you - she's a fucking pro - and she couldn't get you off! Did she give you the money back? No, she kept it. Think about that -
You got your head all twisted up on this girl and until you go on an unpaid date with her this is just a paid session. She may be dissapointed but she will still always take your $$ again and again like cashman says...and if she likes you the performance issue would also be forgiven.
Tell her you just want to meet her for lunch sometime and hang out (just her) See how she reacts. Until there is no $$ involved you cant say she has more than just business feelings. Yknow she can still have positive feelings for her favorite pls who treat her right?!?! Dont get that confused with civie love until she treats you like a civie.
Those answers will tell me a lot about your motivations and emotions.
These shitbags that your atf deals with - are they other guys who pay her for otc dates? If they are - remember - she's getting paid to get f--ked by other guys -
He doesnt want anyone to talk him out if it. He wants permission to make the worst mistake if his life. If even one of us gives him a half assed excuse justifying what he wants he will go for it
One of them was her ex....They didnt meet on the job. I believe this Andrew Character might date her OTC...But again don't know who he is...
If you still want to see her - invite her to a civilian dinner date. Just the two of you. Don't pay her - and act like she's a civilian girl.
You have probably more of a reason not to be in a pic with her than her with you.
Do this. Remove money from the equation and see how long her affection lasts.
Sure, so she could show it to other dancers to compare notes, or to the guys she is going to have rob you. In fact, you don't even have to be a favorite for that.
The only time a dancer has ever taken a selfie with me, she was the worst I have encountered to be associated with. I was among the fortunate and cut bait when things started looking sketchy. It was a great photo, though. She was beautiful and just my type, so we looked really good in it.
Your answer will determine how I answer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If9fC9aJ…
I know that this is unlikely. And, at least partially motivated by my wanting to believe that this is trolling and not a real guy sticking his arm in a wood chipper while screaming "I'm pretty sure this will feel better once I get my shoulder in there!"
A. She stabs up under the rib cage.