LecherousMonk: 10 Questions Resurrected

Shailynn needs to know because he has to finish his 8th grade paper soon.

SJG

spidey, spidey, spidey. you keep getting stupider and stupider with each passing year. at this pace you should be as stupid as san_jose_guy by the end of next year

TF is this "10 Questions" shit?

TL;DR

1. Yes, actually, I do live with my parents.
2. Of course I'm an Ohio State fan: I'm a good person (and a second-generation alumnus).
3. I'm going to answer this question as though you mean the term "wild" in the neutral sense rather than as a synonym for "good." (If that were the case, I would have much more difficulty answering because I'm not sure I've ever had a strip club visit that was entirely satisfying. Somehow I keep convincing myself the next time will be different.)

My wildest night at a strip club was probably this past weekend, when, as most of you know, I went to a club I dislike, only because they had a feature dancer I did like. I made the mistake of not leaving as soon as the show was over. Then, being the little bitch that I am, I allowed a dancer to whom I was not in the least attracted (flat as an ironing board, front and back), to sit at my table, just to be nice. Well, this lady was quite the conversationalist, and it turned out we had a lot in common: I play a little bass guitar; she has a degree in bass from Berklee College of Music (she demonstrated enough knowledge of the topic to convince me she wasn't faking it). We're also the same age (she said it first). Well, I decided to throw her a pity dance for the conversation.

What soul-rending sadness I experienced watching this woman administer the worst lapdance ever, going from position to position in such a clumsy and stilted manner as to leave the impression she was having trouble remembering which was next as she pressed her bony ass against my flaccid junk! Did I mention her ass stank? As I drove home, I wondered how to reconcile my positive impression of this woman as a person and my profoundly negative one of her as dancer, and tried to suppress the thought that I had just met the female version of my own pathetic self. *Sigh. . . .
4. I have trouble keeping track of which old, rich guy is which. I've definitely received some good advice, clubbing-wise or otherwise, from shailynn, vincemichaels, papi chulo, ppwh, whodey, and juice, to name a few, but I suppose if the meeting were at a club, I would want to meet whoever had the biggest bankroll so I could sponge off of him.
5. I'm in the 26-30 range.
6. The concept of having a goal when clubbing is a bit alien to me. My modus operandi is to find the hottest girl in the club and then get whatever dances or service I can out of her. Hotness is the cake for me; services are just the icing. After all, masturbation gets you to the same destination for free. Sadly in my area and on my budget, most of my visits consist entirely of standard lap dances.
7. My favorite food is an extra large chocolate milkshake.
8. I would've spent my whole life believing Chris Rock was right about the champagne room but for one dancer who offered to covertly jerk my cock during a lap dance. That experience got me googling for info on strip clubs and sex, which brought me to the wonderful confines of TUSCL. The best thing I've learned here is that I'm not the only pathetic loser in the world. I treasure the camaraderie we share in our quest to jizz our pants.
9. All of my time is spare, and I spend it playing drumset and bass guitar, playing nerdy board and card games, playing pub trivia, watching sports, reading, and wasting time on the internet. I consider myself somewhat of a drive-thru connoisseur as well. The highlight of my week is driving to the big city on Fridays and Saturdays to sit in a coffee shop surfing the web all day (if I have any money). I'm too ugly and poorly dressed to go to nightclubs anymore, so coffee shops are my one viable public destination.
10. I'm a PC gamer at heart, but I haven't had a good enough computer to play games for 3-4 years. I stopped playing console games after the original XBox, as well, although a friend recently gave me a hand-me-down Xbox 360 with a bunch of games. Lack of access to current video gaming platforms is part of what brought me to the board gaming hobby.

^^^^^^^ A man who is able to tell the truth, even in face of all the TUSCL trolls like Shailynn.

Lecherous Monk should be admired.

SJG

Thank you - I can tell your answers were very well written. Just for the record my niece just started college and she didn't get into OSU. I was accepted but went somewhere else.

I always knew you were a smart guy, you're clever, you gotta start pulling more civie ass!

^^^^^^^^ A first, a nice post from Shailynn!

SJG

> I allowed a dancer to whom I was not in the least attracted (flat as an ironing board, front and back), to sit at my table

So YOU were the guy who was camping that slim cutie! I guess it is just as well if she was experiencing hygiene issues that night, though ;)

> reading

What do you read?

These are good, nice change of pace.

Ppwh, not as much as I used to or should. Classic novels (Joyce, Pynchon, etc.), philosophical stuff (Joseph Campbell), and some frivolous sci-fi/fantasy stuff (Gene Wolfe, WH40k boois, and so forth).

lol great list.

Hilarious post, @Monk.