ATF means All Time Fav

gawker
Older than dirt
My ATF & I have been fucking & sucking for more than 8 years now. For many years I was her chief enabler and finally saw the damage & danger and spent several years still paying for sex but encouraging and supporting many attempts at sobriety. She'll hit 90 days sober in a day or 2 and has fallen in love with a nice guy whose also in recovery. He's a union construction worker making good money and she had a hostess job at a high end restaurant but quit cuz they had her working double shifts when her BF was working and they prefer to fuck 3 or 4 times a day
So she needs some income and has offered me a reduced rate over what I used to pay ($300 instead of $500) at the apartment she shared with the BF. She'll be 32 and I'll be 72 on the same day next month. She, despite 15 years of heroin use, is still my #10 and callled me on a video call today while she had on rubber gloves, and nothing else while she cleaned the apartment. I, of course want to see her but am cautious about going to her apartment.
My wife is now in a Nursing Home so my time is flexible. The BF has no car or license & so once he's gone to work he's very unlikely to return during the day so is it plausible for a little nooner?

22 comments

Latest

shadowcat
7 years ago
It's tough putting the ones we love into nursing homes but there comes a time when they are better equipped to take care of them than we are. You did the right thing there.

But continuing with your ATF is just going to be more heart break and expense for you. I'm probably just wasting my time telling you to give it up. Your old enough to know better but obviously don't give a shit.
UGK.22
7 years ago
I agree with shadow
ppwh
7 years ago
I dunno, dude. You might be better off taking her to a gas station restroom.
shailynn
7 years ago
Glad she has her priorities straight "I quit my job because it interfered with my sex schedule."

Tell her you'll give her $600 for 3 sex sessions!
mmdv26
7 years ago
What's to loose. Take some beer with you so if he does come home mid stroke you can just yell "beer's in frig, help yourself". He'll go for it. He probably will want to watch you two fuc, and then he'll suggest a threesome. Afterall, he's a 13th stepper. Sobriety won't last for either of them, because absolute honesty must take place before sobriety can stand a chance. You gotta know she's lying about "quitting" the high-end waitress job and of course she's cheating on her new "luv".. Be prepared to go back to the old $500 rate...or even more if she gets her heart broke by new BF. Get back to this group in a month a let us know how this is going.
gawker
7 years ago
Tha advice above is sound and despite my attempts to avoid it, I know my affection for the ATF has become a little parental rather than just sex. Driven. On the other hand I tell myself just one more time, knowing I'm lying to myself.
Moving my wife earlier this week was heart-wrenching but I researched facilities and was extremely lucky to get her placed in the best home in the area ( bypassed a lengthy waiting list after I found a good friend on their Board of Directors) white privilege works every time. But an afternoon of delight seems earned after months of wiping my wife's ass, feeding her , etc. decisions, decisions, decisions.
ATACdawg
7 years ago
Honestly, gawker, if she is going to have any shot at a normal life, you have got to let her go. Both of you are each other's worst enemies in this. How long do you think her new bf will stick around if he finds out that she is still prostituting herself with you?

It's clear that both of you have feelings for each other. It's also clear that it can't go anywhere. One of you has to break this self-destructive cycle before it destroys one or both of you.

Believe it or not, I am pulling for you both. Good luck.
JAprufrock
7 years ago
Heroin use, alcoholic, cheating on boyfriend? I'd avoid her like the plague.
I'd spend the $300 on someone lower-maintenance.
Sounds like you're well-off. You must realize she's going to continue draining your bank account.
rh48hr
7 years ago
ATAC hit my thoughts right on the nose.
MackTruck
7 years ago
My ATF has a tattoo on the back of her head. It says.. Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing
twentyfive
7 years ago
Hey Gawker you are a good guy, but you are also living proof that age doesn't always bring wisdom. My honest opinion is if you really have parental feelings, let her go, if she does well you'll get some real satisfaction, if she fails, you are past the point of no return, you need to get smart for both of you.
Htxx
7 years ago
I get it. I've also been in a strippers place that she shared with her bf. Of course I didn't know it at the time walking into her place. Once I saw all the "guy" clothes all over the bedroom it was very distracting for me. Worried he'd walk in any moment her claims that "don't worry we broke up yesterday" didn't help.

I'd suggest telling her you're thinking about it but not 100% comfortable. Guarantee that a week or so later, she'll drop her price, say to $250, then take the $50 savings and get a room. Pick her up go to the room have a great time and drop her off. That's what I'd do.
jackslash
7 years ago
I have fucked strippers in their apartments while their boyfriends were gone. I usually carried my Glock. But not a brilliant idea. I'm too old to jump out of bedroom windows, and I don't want to shoot anyone needlessly.

Gawker, I'm sorry about your wife and I think you did the right thing by putting her in a nursing home. You're going to get back with your ATF because she's your ATF. Be safe and take her to a hotel.
gawker
7 years ago
The problem with getting a hotel is that it's in Boston where a dumpy hotel is $180+ and it's unusual to be able to get access before 3:00 pm making a nooner impossible.
Shadowcat is right and while my big head agrees, the little head says I'll never find another who knows me and pleases me so "professionally" and has the patience which my 72 year old body requires. Damn the torpedoes...
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
Given your extended relationship (8 years)that has maybe some trust did you consider an upfront monthly thing with more access? Or is it just a terrible idea if she is way too erratic or selfish?
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
Yes gawker, I know that putting the wife in the nursing home, it must be hard and it must draw up mixed emotions.

Glad the ATF is staying clean. Be careful, she might have it wired up that whoring money goes to drugs. Might be part of how she is able to do it. You don't want to be a factor in that.

SJG
pensionking
7 years ago
She has 40 more years than you to work on her own issues.

As you see with your wife, life is short. Too short. Who knows how many more years of fucking are in your future?

I say, do whatever pleases you! Damn the torpedoes.
gawker
7 years ago
Well after cogitation on all your sage words of advice ( and a very good 1/2 hour bbbjcim with a 26 year old former dancer which cost me $60 & a pack of butts), I've decided to pass on seeing my ATF.
She & her BF are only 90 days clean. After two trips of 7 & 4 days with her it's clear she can be an insufferable bitch which tells me the BF will bail out on her sooner if not later. When this inevitably happens she'll use it as an excuse to relapse. I don't want to be around when this happens.
It's time to cut the cord on my attachment to her and work to define what my new normal is going to be with my wife in a nursing home and what little logic I have left tells me my life (and wallet) will be better off without my long standing friend. Thanks.
JAprufrock
7 years ago
^^^^^^^Wise decision.
Htxx
7 years ago
Good luck gawker, making the best but same time toughest decision. I'm 3 months removed now from my atf and seeing her OTC. Still miss and think of her daily, however, it's getting easier. We can do it!
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
Good luck, man. I think that you're making the right choice.
flagooner
7 years ago
I don't understand the safety concerns, she does wear rubber gloves while cleaning the apartment.
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