Do you always remember

I don't really understand this "it's only a fantasy" thing. It's pretty real to me when I'm getting a raunchy lap dance or VIP service. It's not a fantasy just because it doesn't continue out the door (although it does that sometimes, too). As Papi says, it's definitely a bizzaro world, but that doesn't make it a fantasy. It's only a fantasy if you imagine it's something more to it than business.

Great post, this is EXACTLY what I was thinking and what I always try and tell myself when I find myself developing feelings for a girl there. I realized that what can make it worse is hanging out OTC. The mind can trick you into thinking "oh maybe she likes me. She does this with only me. This is what people in relationships do." This happened to me. I think I'm a bit better because I told myself what you said. She only wants the money, not me. But it still bites me every now and then.

I remember it now. 7 years later.

When I first started out hitting clubs on a regular basis in 2010-2011, I didn't have enough experience to draw on. I only wish I had found this forum before I dove in head first with reckless abandon.

Now, after learning my lessons the hard way, I'm much more cognizant of the situation and what it really is. Inside, it's bizarro world. Outside, is real life.

For Star Trek fans, think Holo-deck.

I always hope that when I leave the club I don't come home with the clap.

I understand what other PLs mean by "fantasy" - it's basically a nicer way to say it's fake

Trying to satisfy one's emotional/relationship needs via a strip-club(s) is major-dissappointment waiting to happen

I don't trust strippers and their intentions any farther than I can grope them

Sticking your penis in a real vagina and kissing real luscious lips seems pretty real to me. I thought a fantasy was something that doesn't happen in the living, breathing thing called life

"paying for a fantasy"

The way I look at it is the money pays for the girl to be there. You could say it keeps her out of corporate America, and out of sensible shoes, and it keeps her from reading Brides Magazine.

As far as it being a fantasy, well the girl is real.

But the strip club environment is not outside life. If you had an outside relationship with the same girl, you and she would be subjected to social pressures, and so your lives would most likely come to be totally different from the way it goes in strip clubs. So rather than saying that what goes on and what you see in the strip club is a fantasy, I would say that what happens in the strip club is to show you that life could be different. But to realize this outside, you have to be creative.

It will be like this in the organization I am building.

SJG

For me, an essential part of strip clubbing is the fantasy aspect: for the duration of my ITC or OTC time with a stripper, I want to pretend (as far as possible) that I am the only man in her world. This is the reason that I tell my OTC girls that I will talk about literally *anything* with them, with one exception: I don't ever want to hear about other customers and what they do with them. I don't even mind (within reason) hearing what the girl does with her boyfriend, as long as she doesn't talk about customers. Since I will acknowledge the existence of a boyfriend, the fantasy isn't complete, but it's close enough.

IMO it's ok to treat it as a fantasy as long as one knows/acknowledges it's a fantasy - it's a problem though when a PL thinks it's real and not a fantasy or just doesn't realize what it is (an act/mirage - smoke-and-mirrors)

> You always must remember part of the fee you are paying her is for no strings for her company.

Now if they would just remember that ;)

"The fantasy" to me is listening to the SS and while knowing it is fake, still getting some enjoyment out of it. Like watching a movie, except you're one of the characters. It's not real, but it can be an interesting interaction. Not all strippers sell the fantasy, though. Some just straight up offer extras in the crassest way possible.

That's just the thing. I never had to remind myself this. Even stepping into a club for the first time (a week past my 18th birthday) or the 31st time (at 38). I think I'm just inoculated against it and don't fall for something that isn't there.

The odd thing is that guys who bust our chops for being 'libtards or progressives, who are by all accounts, experienced dudes with 20+ years on me, successful, know how power works in this work, yadda-yadda, how do you guys possibly fall for this. Seriously??!? You can't possible have that much live experience and be that gullible. And it's a common theme on Tuscl.

You're like the dumbest wise guys I know. I love you guys. But it's odd.

^ know how power works in this *world. ... have that much *life experience...

@Dominic77, necessity is the mother of invention.

Great post and it is true. Made the mistake a few weeks back with a dancer I know very well of comparing her job to mine and saying the following: "My job is like yours. I have clients I like spending time with and clients I don't like spending time with. The thing is that they all pay the same rate; the clients I like think they have something special going on with me; and at the office they are all fair game as far as making fun of people." She said: "So I'm fake"? Got up and left. Since my desire to go clubbing remains at zero I have no idea if it was a grandstand move or not. Hopefully I won't be back to find out.

^^^ skibum, just a snotty dancer... What you said was fine, she could not understand the context of your statement

Maybe I'm not getting either. So you have clients you happen to also like. They are still paying you, just like the ones you don't like. Why would you make fun of the ppl you like? It's almost like suggesting that you can't like them bc they are paying you, but that doesn't make sense.

I don't pay for a "fantasy." I pay to be entertained and, on good nights, to get laid. More specifically, I pay to be able to do all of this at my convenience and with no other obligations or drama once I leave the girl(s) in questions.