• discussions >
• Front Room

Witless Protection

goldmongerATL

The Square Above Charlie Weaver

Had a stripper ask me if I was in the Mafia. I said no, but she said I was dressed like someone in the Mafia. I was wearing an Atlanta Braves golf shirt and bermuda shorts. I told her I was Italian and the guys in the Mafia were Russian, so I could not be in the Mafia. That seemed to calm her down a bit. I asked her why she was worried I was in the Mafia. She said she was in Witness Protection and hiding from the Mafia.

Yep. At this point I had to just learn all about this genius.

I asked why she was in witness protection. She said her boyfriend put her in witness protection. I told her the FBI or police usually put people in witness protection. She said her boyfriend did it himself because the Mafia was after her. She did not know why the Mafia was after her. She said she was working at this club to make money while she was in witness protection. I asked how long she had been in witness protection. She said about three years. I asked her what she did before she went into witness protection and became a stripper like her boyfriend asked her to (at this point I am thinking this genius is somehow being duped by the boyfriend). Oh, she was already a stripper before witness protection, just at a different club. So now I'm thinking somehow this was to get her to ATL where she could make more money for the BF. So I asked what part of the country she was stripping in before witness protection. Oh, she's from Atlanta. She was working at Fannie's (another ATL club).

I was thinking of quoting Inigo Montoya "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." But that may have required far more explanation than I had time to give. I promised her I would not tell a soul and left.