6 comments

The sandpaper system!

Jun 30, 2017, 5:30 AM

In college I had a friend that used to take sandpaper to the front of his jeans. He said that doing this made it look like he had a big dick.

His logic was that if he had a big dick it would stretch out the front of his jeans and it would be visible because it would have a lighter color. Sort of like the lighter color you get on the pocket you keep your wallet in (if you have a thick wallet.

So my question are:

Have any of you weirdos tried this? If so, was your experience brilliant or non-brilliant?

If you haven't tried this, did my description of the sandpaper system make it sound like something to try?

comments (6)

shadowcat8 years ago

I think wearing worn out, ripped jeans hanging off your ass would make you look like you have a lot of money.

ATACdawg8 years ago

The system that you describe won't be effective. However, if you take wet and dry sandpaper, 80- through 600-grit mounted on a random orbit sander, and use it to grind your hard penis to a bright shine, it will operate with incredible smoothness in any stripper orifice! It's just brilliant! It is important that you don't stop until you have achieved the shine despite any minor discomfort....

(No, I am not a desertscrub alias!)

Call.Me.Ishmael8 years ago

Seems like a waste of perfectly good sandpaper...

The problem with giving the illusion of having a big dick is that awkward moment when you're forced to reveal the truth.

Bj998 years ago

What kind of pants are you wearing where your dick would be putting that much pressure on them all of the time!?

4got2wipe8 years ago

Bj99, this was not me. It really was a friend. A weirdo friend, but still a friend.

He just did this to his jeans. Normal denim Levis, nothing special. Of course, he also went out in public wearing a lacy camisole.

Even funnier, the guy's name was Jackie. But he definitely wasn't juicebox69*

True story: I tried to set Jackie up with my girlfriend's friend who was also named Jackie. Female Jackie was also a weirdo, but more of a hoarder weirdo than a sandpapers her clothes weirdo. We thought that weird male Jackie + weird female Jackie would be funny to hang out with.

Unfortunately, dinner with my girlfriend and the two Jackies turned out to be weird squared. Or cubed.

At one point female Jackie talked about feeling mice run across her face at night. Male Jackie joked about that being a sexual thing. Sad part is that female Jackie did have mice living and breeding in her apartment. Her hoarding issues were worse than we thought.

I've never been sure whether it is juicebox69 = Jackie or if it is juicebox69's girlfriend = Jackie.

JuiceBox698 years ago

LMFAO