Married and Miserable or Single and Lonely?

Good topic. To a large degree true, for the general population. But I just have to say, the members of the organization I am building will not be miserable or lonely. They will be PS ( Pussy Saturated ) and they will also be running companies and studying things like Philosophy and Quantum Physics and composing music, and lots more.

SJG

I'm single but I don't feel lonely. You need lots of free time with no one calling you to feel lonely. I have several people occasionally wanting to be friends. Now could things be better? Definitely. There are more occasions when I'm glad I'm single rather than visa versa. I try to be friendly without brushing people off too quickly. You never know when you might actually want to talk to someone. If I have a few minutes and have time, I will talk to different people who want to seem to want to talk. I seem to find a lot of married people are lonely. They are the ones who want to talk forever.

Would you rather marry a supermodel/video vixen who cooks and cleans and puts out? Or be single and rich and famous?

A few married people are joined like Siamese twins. But this is rare. And I don't know if this is good or bad. But when I was married, it never did work. So I was extremely lonely ever minute, especially at home. At home is where it most did not work. I dould not stand to be there with her at home, as I knew that trouble was always brewing.

I wanted a soul mate, I got something which was completely unworkable. I am still suffering from Post Marital Stress Disorder.

SJG

TRAFFIC LIVE AT SANTA MONICA 72
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocjSc7v8…

chessmaster +10

SJG

Wow Chess, I'd probably take the supermodel. I like the rich part but couldn't deal with the craziness of the fame. I'd also like to think if I was married to a perfect 10 that wanted to have sex all the time that it would satisfy my sexual desires. Probably not, but it's a nice thought.

Chris Rock also said: "You are only as loyal as your options."

I find that to be true. The more money I had, the more strippers I fucked.

I think if most of us had unlimited funds, we'd never leave the strip club.

I feel that one of the things which drives guys towards marriage is the fear that they will be all alone in the world when their parents die. They have not totally separated from their parents, and so the thought of their passing bothers them.

Just a thought.

SJG

can i choose a wealthy happy single man in the company of sexy beautiful ladies?

I mention the above just to show that some people have not yet learned to be alone. Rick999 sounds very comfortable. Chessmaster clearly appreciates the benefits of being successful yet unattached.

But by the time I got married, my woman was so deeply embedded in my life that I really was not accustomed to being alone at all. And she had learned to rule by creating upsets.

So being alone is something I have had to learn again, starting from the very basics. And I have had to really think about how I want the rest of my life to be.

Never again will I be married, and never again will I even live with a woman. I would never let any one woman get that much power over my life and my daily peace and harmony.

SJG

justme62 + 5

And in the organization I am building, it will be like that, but the pussy will be right there whenever you want it.

SJG

Better alone than in bad company

I'm never lonely for long in a strip club.

I am young, single, and completely detached from my parents. After watching my parents marriage, I am convinced that marriage would be too difficult for me; I am far too much like my father. I think, for me to get married, I would have to be wealthy enough to not have to work, smart enough to get a bullet proof prenup, and strong enough to satisfy her almost continuously.

tl;dr I'm never getting married haha.

I might be willing to live with someone if we were compatible but I like the temperature around 71 or colder a lot. 60's in the winter.
Lol, I remember one girl at work said her husband kept the thermostat at 54 degrees year round and she was hot in the office all the time. They kept the thermostat at work at 75 or 76. I was warm but not super hot. I could go out to the shop where they had no air, sweat like crazy and come back inside the "hot" office.
I'm currently looking for a new job and one reason I haven't moved, a relative living nearby would want to move in. I have a lot of control though. If I can live with several sisters in the house growing up, I can live with just one relative in the house. Looking for a new job is a lot of work by itself. My younger brother was easier to settle differences with growing up. We'd settle it by fighting, then we'd be back to playing games or whatever we wanted to do like nothing happened. The other issue got settled. My younger brother always lost.

I have been both, and single/lonely is much better than married/miserable. Nobody wants to be miserable, and at least you can have good sex guilt free when single.

But this is the wrong question. At least for me. I have already answered this question for myself. The question for me is whether it's possible to be married/happy with great sex. I used to be sure that the answer was no but now I'm not so sure.

Been married for a year and now Ive started back going to strip clubs... I think there's a trend here lol

I think the saying is "Married and bored"... But that could mean missarable too

Dealing with other people is the single most draining thing for me. I can't fathom having to come home and have another 6-8 hrs of interpersonal stuff to deal with. I'll stick with 'small doses."

I could not stand to live with my sisters in laws. They are controlling and I don't see how my brothers put up with them. I would be miserable if I had to spend a single night in one house, and not too happy about visiting my other sister in law. My own mother had a feud one time with one and the other, she doesn't want to see or talk to.
It might be universal that females are taught to hate or put down mothers in laws.
My younger brother once called his wife to ask permission to spend 20 dollars when he was with me alone at the store. My older brother couldn't believe it. He thought he had it better even though his wife drive him to bankruptcy and he maxed out his maximum social security taxes before he retired. Those examples of marriage made me be in no hurry to get married.

Marriage seems like a lot of work and and a bad business deal. Long term gf fwb on the side seems ideal.

I do have some happily married sisters and some others I know of who are happily married. They are the ones posting pics of their kids and vacation pics on Facebook all the time.
I figure better to be single and happy and controlling your own destiny and what you are doing rather than married and miserable getting nagged to death every day being told what home project you need to work on next or how you have money problems because your wife is an idiot and doesn't know how to save a dime nor is she interested. Some of the married men at work would say, just agree with the wife with whatever if you want a happy marriage. I'm wondering is that the definition of pussy whipped?
If they get divorced, they will have to pay big child support payments for life it sounds like plus give up lots of assets if the wife wasn't working. I think the court system is rigged against males from what I've heard. The child support payments awarded are a whole lot more than what the guy would have payed if he stayed married so they stay together.

I'm single, yeah I get lonely at times, but after watching the marriages my sister and brother had. I'd rather be single.

Not even close. I've been both, without fail single and lonely is FAR better than being married and miserable.

I had 27 years of being miserably married. In my 15th year of being single again and don't feel lonely very often but I would certain choose that over being married again.

@Rickberge nailed it. Married and bored.

Married, fairly loveless environment due to wife needing to be on antidepressants and under pain mhmt as well as having a life long eating disorder. Travel and other periodic opportunities offer me a chance to escape.

I considered getting married again and it would have been the wrong decision had I done so. I enjoy being single. If I have a girlfriend or a FWB, that is fine, but I will not get married. Besides I have kids, they keep me busy and I'm never lonely when they are around.

A number of years ago I came home from work, feeling the stress from work tearing me apart. A couple of hours later as the lights flashed; the siren sounded and one of the attendants shaved some of my chest hair off while the other readied the paddles in case I coded I thought to myself: If tomorrow morning I wake up and am not told I have x to live I am quitting my job and taking time off. I did. I took 11 months off. Skied, golfed, went out drinking, went to strip clubs. Murdered one of my 401ks, wiping out 6 years of 15% contributions and gains. Wife worked two jobs. Not once was my wife anything other than supportive. I can think of zero criticisms. Never even asked me to start looking for work. After 11 months I rented office space, hung out a shingle and we went on with life. If I get another 27 years + with her, it still won't be enough.

It's more than a little ironic that the divorce lawyer is the one with the happy marriage. I believe that unicorns like the one described by skibum exist. The problem is that that they are very rare, and after marriage the unicorn often morphs into a jackal.

The one thing I have noticed with many of my divorce cases and although I have not counted I assume I have done about 3,000 - 4,000 family law cases, is that when people commit, they stop acting like they did when they were dating. When you're dating your whole life revolves making the other person want you, love you, respect you etc. People get married....and they stop. Its like getting your dream job on Friday and showing up 3 hours late Monday in my mind. I try to seduce and impress my wife in the present, as I did almost 30 years ago. At an age when most women are beginning to think broken hip, she is throwing herself down through the trees on Double blacks at Snowbird.

@Skibum Just a note I have changed my personal opinion of you in the last 3-4 weeks even though I may disagree with you politically, your share about your heart attack, it sounds like it happened to you when you were in your thirties or forties was I am sure life changing. Maybe when you head down to the sunshine state I'll buy you a beer.

I don't know about miserable, I'm definitely not there in my marriage, but I resonate with the quote warhawks mentioned about a man being as loyal as his options. As soon as I had the money and free time (a result of work schedule giving me afternoon off once and a while when wife still at work) I started to enjoy the company of dancers.

Although even before marriage I was never really fond of monogamy. I just assumed that I could do it because that's what I saw everyone else was doing.

That's the nice thing about strippers, everything is so casual. Exclusivity is definitely not expected, for either one of us. It's refreshing.

I chose door number three, like skibum. It's not black and white guys. Single and lonely or married and miserable. These are lousy options. You don't have to be miserable married and you don't have to be lonely single. I prefer not sharing personal information, but life with right woman is not miserable.

I too reject these choices. Why does it have to be one or the other? Some married guys are happy and some single guys don't really feel that lonely. I guess it all depends on how you handle either situation.

For that matter, I echo the question I posed in another thread, which is: What in the world does marital happiness have to do with messing around with strippers? This notion held by some that one must be unhappy with his wife if he is screwing around with strippers is both goofy and naive. One has nothing to do with the other.

Be glad to 25 and if you ever make it to New England I want to take you to club Desires. To clear things up after 2 days in the hospital it wasn't a heart attack; it wasn't a stroke; or even a mini-stroke. Except for the fact I had all the symptoms of both it turned out to be stress and nothing more and it happened when i was 56. Before I was released the head of Neurology sat down with my wife and I and asked if I wanted her medical opinion. She then said and I will remember this forever: "there is nothing physically wrong with you. This was stress related in my mind and you need to seek a career counselor because if I were you I would look at this horrible experience as a preview of the day you died". I gave my notice at work on the ride home from the hospital. On an even weirder note: ambulance ride; 2 days in intensive care; a full stroke work up; a full cardiac workup and my out of pocket medicals were zero. Union healthcare plans rock.

I don't think the thread was implying those are the *only* 2 choices, but more to contrast/compare those 2 particular choices that apply to some/many

No Pap's I disagree. But it doesn't matter. This is just for fun.

I've been married 20yrs and like being married. My wife doesn't deserve being cheated on, but I consider it meaningless entertainment.

There are unicorns out there. Debating how rare they are could fill another thread. The thing is (at least in my experience) even when you do find a unicorn, odds are that they are NOT available.

Yes, there are other options. Reliable FWB would be vastly superior to either miserable or lonely. Win the lottery and spend lots of time living the LondonGuy lifestyle would be vastly superior.

Sure some people are happy / content in their marriage and partner. However, particularly in hindsight, that's never been true in my family. Staying in it is just the lesser evil to a lot of people. Lots of couples put on a good front to the world but are a shit show in private. Lonely / miserable are not the 'only 2 categories' but they sure seem to be the largest 2 from what I see.

Probably getting OT but... I also see marriage as very high risk. Half of your wealth and probably continuing payments if things don't work out until you're so old and gray it doesn't matter? Seems to me like there would have to be a comparatively high reward to justify such risk.

Warhawks, Chris Rock is hilarious!

Someone on another thread I think asked why people marry.

Consider:

1. Religion as we know it could never exist without it.
2. There is an entire industry which runs on marriage and by promoting it.
3. The real estate industry depends upon marriage.
4. Much of the commercial sector, and the life insurance industry, depend upon it.
5. Capitalism depends upon it, it needs people to be sexually isolated, economically isolated, and now even socially isolated.
6. Politicians use it to promote themselves.

SJG

Grahame Bond - Love Is the Law
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyg8x36f…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZbEyP0l…

Never though much of this girl, still don't, idiot!
https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/miley-cyrus…

Gospel From The Stripper Pole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssPjc_W_…

A while back I was watching an interview of a NY Times columnist that had done an article on octogenarians and interviewed many of them to get their look on life - one of the things many of them said, that surprised me, and the columnist, is that many of the octogenarians said they thought they had married the wrong person - that took me by surprise - could be a generational thing - or could be a case of the grass seeming greener on the other side; i.e. no matter who they had married perhaps they still would have felt that way.

When I was a child, I saw the 'sexual revolution" and the anti-war movement. I thought that the world of my parents and of their generation would just be swept away. I thought marriage would vanish and that we would be living in a sexually radicalized world.

I had no idea that there could ever have come anything like Reagan, making like Vietnam and Watergate had never happened, and then the social conservatism of the 80's and the following decades. And I never saw that most people did not want the world to be radicalized, at least not yet. I always felt hugely betrayed that the people my age were not with me, but seemed to want to perpetuate the world of our parents.

SJG

Pentangle, a girl played me some of this, like late 70's. In the years which followed, I always looked for it in new and used record stores. Nothing.

Here, then and now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqtnLFMD…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFuxq_J1…

Truth be told there are plenty of people that are happily married and plenty of single people that are not lonely at all. It all depends on your makeup if you are a happy well adjusted adult you don't need anyone to tell you how you feel, I know a lot of both and the folks I know seem to be happy and content for the most part. I think it boils down to having realistic expectations and knowing that you are responsible for your own happiness. If you depend on someone else for happiness you need to change your thinking.

Or maybe we just need to invent other structures, other than marriage and family.

I mean, I know men, often from churches, who seem to be both happy and faithful. But I certainly would not want to live like them. And for the most part, they do not impress me. They seem to be atrophied and broken men, hiding behind social conformity, not ever looking at things too closely or trying to understand very deeply. They get like this, then eventually physical and mental frailty take them.

SJG

^^^Or maybe you are just an unhappy individual the few I know seem to revel in the misery of others.

Maybe I just set higher standards for my own personal integrity.

SJG

One thing I guarantee you @SJG my integrity is intact I doubt you can say the same.

I've gone through a very bad marriage. It will take me the rest of my life to try and do the best I can rebuilding what was lost. But I can also say that because of this kind of trauma and my eventual survival, and seeing how the world is, I am already doing things far more radical than what most people would even consider.

SJG

More reasons people get married:

7. As it stands today marriage one of the few long lasting social glues we have. Capitalism distorts and breaks down everything else.
8. Women know that their looks only have so much of a shelf life, so they know they need to get hitched. They use their wiles to make it go that way.
9.. Even today most women do not find self supporting careers open to them. Unmarried women beyond a certain age, but not yet old enough to likely be widows, are looked down upon by most people.


One thing I have never been able to understand, how could any guy spend his Sunday mornings in church. And worst of all, how could any guy spend his Sunday morning listening to a sermon?

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Hate-Goin…

They must be living in places without Viet Coffee.

Maybe some of our church going folks would be able to answer this?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/25953606@N…

SJG

Killing Me Softley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4USer34…