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Your Average TUSCLer...

avatar for Dougster
Dougster

Has a job that requires him to travel alot. That's how he go interested in strip clubs in the first place.

Makes additional money on the side by shorting treasuries.

Lines up at the club before it opens, so he'll be able to kiss the extras girls before they are able to suck other customers dicks.

Despite the above concern, will accept BBFS whenever it is offered: RICH STUDs cannot get STDs.

Is particularly fond of visiting SCs at the end of the month when girls are desperate for rent money.

Outside of club action likes to hit on waitresses at fast food and family restaurants.

When not at the clubs or traveling for work spends much time stay versed with politics. Especially right wing conspiracy theory (er, fact) websites.

Has spent years perfect the art of paying hookers for sex and knows regular guys who don't do that are jealous of him.

Knows his ATF, sorry DS, ATFs are for chumps, only does extras with him.

Either runs Linux and does everything from the command prompt or runs Mac b/c he doesn't need to do real work. Either way, Windows sucks!

Any others?

Comments

last comment
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
7 yrs ago

A few more:

Only votes Libertarian or Donald Trump if the Libertarian candidate is not viable (i.e. 100% of the time).

Favorite author at age 14 was Ayn Rand. Favorite author now: Still Ayn Rand.

Investments besides short treasuries: Only gold and bitcoin. Is posed to make a ton of money when the stock market bubble finally bursts. Which is inevitable because the US government does not follow his preferred politics.

Occupation: Traveling IT consultant.

avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 yrs ago

Has a room in his moms basement where he only eats gravy and posts long screeds about nothing at all.

Or has a room in his moms attic where he tries to get girls to come after school and help him with his geometry homework.

avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
7 yrs ago

Wow Dougster attempting humor. I like it although I suspect it'll never last. I'll try to add some after I finish shorting my treasuries.

avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe
7 yrs ago

Dougster, just remember this:

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

Aces!

avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe
7 yrs ago

On the other hand, the guy who said that also wrote Catwoman. No word on whether he shorted treasuries. ;)

avatar for Dougster
Dougster
7 yrs ago

Average TUSCLer: drives a modest car with at least 250,000 miles. Think of how many lap dances you could buy for the price of a new car? Changes the oil every (at most) every 5,000 miles and use synthetic only.

avatar for Dougster
Dougster
7 yrs ago

Average age: late 50s to early 60s. Does not find women his age* (*actually any over 32) attractive. Also finds it hard to meet women who have the appreciation for Ayn Rand and Libertarianism that he does.

avatar for Kimi
Kimi
7 yrs ago

What's a DS?

avatar for rane1234
rane1234
7 yrs ago

Damn funny

avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 yrs ago

DS = dream stripper

avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 yrs ago

The one book that everyone needs to not only read, but to understand is 1984.

avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
7 yrs ago

"Has a job that requires him to travel alot"

I would say that for sure would be the average TUSCLer from what I've seen on here.

avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 yrs ago

I have stripped club since I was 17 (42 years) and my lifetime business travel is 0.

avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 yrs ago

Where's the category for recovering stamp collectors?

avatar for a21985
a21985
7 yrs ago

What about "knows buying lap dances is a chumps game."

avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 yrs ago

"

Lines up at the club before it opens, so he'll be able to kiss the extras girls before they are able to suck other customers dicks."

LMFAO

avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 yrs ago

I think Dougster nailed it. Obviously strip clubs and TUSCL are good for people who travel. Being able to control where one is at provides a circuit breaker on the relationships. He makes his women into mistresses, not hookers.

And of course a smart TUSCLer knows that buying dances is a chump's game.

But I also think Dougster is elaborating on the persona of Rick Dugan here.

Untaxed money for hotel rooms. What I've been asking, has anyone put one of their women on the company payroll, or otherwise got it so that she is getting paid out of pretax money? I think it is possible, and legal unless someone really tries to scrutinize it. But I do not actually know this and would not try it without professional guidance.

SJG

Diana Krall - The Look Of Love

www.youtube.com

How life should be:

xahlee.org

LOU REED "Egg Cream"

www.youtube.com

R.E.M. - What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

www.youtube.com

Orange Crush

www.youtube.com

avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 yrs ago

Dougster is not this idealized TUSCLer, and he could not be, because at core Dougster is an evil man.

SJG

avatar for Warrenboy75
Warrenboy75
7 yrs ago

Actually in my short time here Dougster is pretty spot on.....with the exception I don't short treasuries......I short Green Energy companies propped up by the previous administration that are more red due to their bottom line than any other color.......confirming my Libertarian beliefs as well.

avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 yrs ago

Libertarian politics shores up property rights. But living in our society depends on far more than property rights.

SJG

Sheryl Crow performs "Walk On By"

www.youtube.com

avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
7 yrs ago

I was thinking I'm not average.

I thought I didn't travel much either but I remember talking to a dancer one time about having to fly back to Wisconsin and she had never flown anywhere in her life. I was actually a bit surprised. Most of the people I know have traveled all over the place.

It seems weird to find someone who has never flown anywhere but another dancer overheard and said she had never flown before either.

Knocking on wood, I don't want to do a lot of traveling, especially overseas.

avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
7 yrs ago

FYI, I didn't get interested in strip clubs because of travel. However it was a boss at work that talked me into first going. So in a way, it was work that drove me to strip clubs.

Fast forward several years and several large companies don't even allow you to eat at Hooters because it's considered too sexual to have waitresses wearing shorts or someone in corporate had an issue.

avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
7 yrs ago

I wouldn't think about shorting the market until SP500 goes past 2500 or it's getting close to quantitative multi billion dollar tapering announced dates, after the fed raises rates another couple times. Probably towards next year. Elections aren't until 2018.

avatar for ThereAndBackAgain
ThereAndBackAgain
7 yrs ago

@Dougster if you didn't secretly had your hate/love relationship with Windows you wouldn't have said command prompt. *nix users call it shell or terminal :)

avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 yrs ago

I said "The UNIX shell itself is the best [development environment] for technical person (software engineer or scientist)." /

I've often thought Dougster must not be a technical person. He probably performs some other role.

avatar for Dougster
Dougster
7 yrs ago

Are you a technical person, Dominic? "Software engineer or scientist"? Or just really old?

avatar for Estafador
Estafador
7 yrs ago

I know dougster is being factitious but you guys tend to always fucking travel for your job. Lol what's the deal with so many of you guys and travel jobs? Are you guys secretly truckers trying to sound cooler than you are? It's ok to be a trucker. Everyone here is still a PL by the end of the day

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