The challenges

flagooner
Everything written by this member is a fact.
Someone asked me what’s my favorite thing about the strip clubs. I thought for a minute, and I came to the conclusion it is the challenges, and there are a few.

Getting in – It’s a long ride on my bike, but sometimes I can Mom to drive me to the library and I just walk the block and a half to the club. Sometimes my fake ID works, but not at the better places so I have to find other ways to get my fix. Once I made it rain $30K on the bouncer to let me in, but he thought I was gay and kicked my ass. I’ve tried posing as the cigarette vending machine repair man, the replacement bathroom attendant, and even the house mother’s adopted son with varying degrees of success. I’m still trying to convince my current favorite to help sneak me in. I’m telling you she is GORGEOUS, a 9+. And she’s exclusive. She says I’m the only she’ll let it the backdoor. I don’t know what she meant when she said she lets everyone else use only her mouth and pussy.

Getting away with it – I’m in court ordered therapy for my addiction. In my 12-step meetings for PLA (Pathetic Losers Anonymous) I keep telling them that I have learned my lesson and that I am not going back to the clubs. When I share my stories I can’t resist bragging about how much I spend on the bitches and about how I am going to turn one that I don’t spend money on into my girlfriend. I have a really hard time convincing them that I am doing all this while not going to the clubs. When it comes to lying, I’m a natural.

Staying humble – Wait, that one doesn’t count. I don’t try to do that.

What’s your favorite thing about the strip clubs?

11 comments

Latest

twentyfive
8 years ago
Fuck you jackie and I mean that in the best way possible.
rockstar666
8 years ago
flag, I have the opposite problem. My challenge is leaving. I've spent weeks in the club before going home. They let me sleep on the bathroom floor, which is kinda gross but I sneak in to the dancer's shower before they open the place up.

All in all, I've had worse.
shailynn
8 years ago
Oh 3 of my favorite TUSLCers and their satire!
warhawks
8 years ago
My favorite thing about the strip clubs is cleaning the VIP rooms.

You don't even have to turn on the electric lights. Just take a black light in there and the whole freaking room glows... even the ceiling.
ATACdawg
8 years ago
What I like at my favorite club is that the girls have bidding wars over me! The last time I went to VIP my 9.9 paid me $1000 for a 30-minute session. I cant afford not to go every weekend!

I'm still working on seducing all of the barmaids so that they'll comp all of my sodas......
mmdv26
8 years ago
Back in the day, my biggest challenge was getting out of there for under $100. Only happened once when no dancers showed up for work.
4got2wipe
8 years ago
Nothing wrong with seducing barmaids so they'll comp you sodas. It's an ace strategy!
RandomMember
8 years ago
@Flag-

Creating this type of satire is just plain disrespectful to those of us who've made strip clubs not just a diversion, but a way of life. Paying for sex takes years of experience, a great deal of charm and intelligence, a flair for style and wardrobe, and a certain type of sophistication. Get with it, man, and get with the culture around here.
flagooner
8 years ago

^ Satire? What do you mean?

I thought this was a forum to recount SC experiences and provide advice to fellow enthusiasts.
flagooner
8 years ago

^ Satire? What do you mean?

I thought this was a forum to recount SC experiences and provide advice to fellow enthusiasts.
twentyfive
8 years ago
BOOM ! Flagooner blows up the board !
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