Someone asked me what’s my favorite thing about the strip clubs. I thought for a minute, and I came to the conclusion it is the challenges, and there are a few.
Getting in – It’s a long ride on my bike, but sometimes I can Mom to drive me to the library and I just walk the block and a half to the club. Sometimes my fake ID works, but not at the better places so I have to find other ways to get my fix. Once I made it rain $30K on the bouncer to let me in, but he thought I was gay and kicked my ass. I’ve tried posing as the cigarette vending machine repair man, the replacement bathroom attendant, and even the house mother’s adopted son with varying degrees of success. I’m still trying to convince my current favorite to help sneak me in. I’m telling you she is GORGEOUS, a 9+. And she’s exclusive. She says I’m the only she’ll let it the backdoor. I don’t know what she meant when she said she lets everyone else use only her mouth and pussy.
Getting away with it – I’m in court ordered therapy for my addiction. In my 12-step meetings for PLA (Pathetic Losers Anonymous) I keep telling them that I have learned my lesson and that I am not going back to the clubs. When I share my stories I can’t resist bragging about how much I spend on the bitches and about how I am going to turn one that I don’t spend money on into my girlfriend. I have a really hard time convincing them that I am doing all this while not going to the clubs. When it comes to lying, I’m a natural.
Staying humble – Wait, that one doesn’t count. I don’t try to do that.
What’s your favorite thing about the strip clubs?
Fuck you jackie and I mean that in the best way possible.