Newbie Here, Question About Extras

just ask if Mr. Winkey can come out and play.

First question we ask: are you still a virgin? Or a frustrated husband looking for new avenues for sex?

Neither actually, but like I said, never been to a club before, and honestly I don't even think I'd wanna go too far with the extras, seems a little too risky for me from a health stand point.

But I just don't want to look like a total newbie, or get thrown out or something if asking for a little more physicality in a private room, I'm thinking just like 2 way touching at the most.

2 way touching is not an extra. So no need to ask. Just do it. If she doesn't like it, she'll move your hand or say NO. You could get a verbal warning if a bouncer in a no touch club saw you but unless you create a scene, you're not going to get thrown out.

OK, well that's good to know, since it was more physical I though that was something that needed to be discussed up front.

So would getting an HJ or happy ending fall into that category since it's just touching, or would that need to be talked about ahead of time, and is it frowned up to just out right ask up front? Still not sure if I'd want to go that far though, probably not on a first visit at least.

Most RI clubs are two way touch but she sets and if (as in all clubs) you break the rules you risk getting tossed. A lot of girls limit the touching during the first dance as a teaser for the second one. Be careful you can get pulled in and before you know it you have many dances and own a crap load of money. $25 - $35 per dance adds up quick. If you just want to look stick to tipping at the rail.

chronot --> "And I'm just wondering what the etiquette is as far as asking for extras go?"

There's no real polite way to do it, that's guaranteed not to offend some dancers. You're basically soliciting her for prostitution. There's no way around that. You might as well man up and do it.

I've never asked myself, but girls themselves have been pretty explicit. "Are you looking for sex?" "I'd be willing to fuck you for money" "suck your dick" "go back to your hotel room" etc have been solicitations I've heard from the girls. I guess it depends on your clubs and dancers' customs. I don't travel much so maybe other areas are different.

Also, if they ask "to party" they're asking you if you do hard core drugs and/or if you're willing to do them with them. Also "party favors" are the actual drugs themselves, the white power kind, the serious stuff. That's not my thing, but don't let the word "party" confuse you. I just mention it in case it comes up and you are unaware. It's best to stay way from those girls.

chronot --> "Do you come right out and say you want extras or whatever to the girl before entering the VIP area, is it discussed once in the VIP area and things are heating up?"

I can't help your there. All of the solicitations I've heard have been in the main room at the tables, at the bar, or outside in the smoking area.

I do know that any girl who dodges the question or answers in code or with ambiguous language is probably leading you on to get your money and won't deliver nothing but to-the-code dances (aka clean dances). The more ambiguous she is, the cleaner (to strict code) her dances will be. That much I do know.

chronot --> "How specific do you get when bringing it up, do you just say "extras" or come right out and say HJ, BJ etc?"

Don't use the word "extras". No one says that. That's a forum only word. I'd ask explicitly. Sometimes they use the word "takeout' which here, in cleveland, appears to be the local term for OTC (or out side the club) or p4p (pay for play) aka prostitution aka sex in your hotel room or sex at your house. Typically it's a 1 hour rate, at near local escort prices, per hour.

I don't get extras, so make my advice with a grain of salt. But it's solicitation so you might as well own it and man up.

chronot --> "since it was more physical I though that was something that needed to be discussed up front."

You might ask her what her rules are for dances, upfront (before you agree an before you go back to the lapdance areas). Not every customer does that. Many don't and just try touching, like shadowcat says. Both approaches are fine.

The bouncers, IME, won't throw you out unless you actually take a swing at them. With touching, when it's not allowed, girl will probably correct you first, or the bouncer will verbally warn you or tap you on your shoulder. I've been warned / correct by a bouncer before, on my first trip, too.

It's not too bad. Most of us went to the club the first time without any guide, and we did just fine. You'll be OK.

Most girls realize they won't make much money or they won't make extra money without touching. The only places you don't get touching are cities (like mine) that have codified city ordinance forbidding touching. ($300 fine, misdemeanor fourth degree). It pays to know the state laws, city ordinances (laws), and the individual club rules. What the club follows is a concatenation of the set of all three. On top of that, the dancers may have their own personal boundaries. Like shadowcat says, she'll correct you if there's a problem.

Degrees of "extra":

Touching skin, boobs, ass, pussy (no insertion) - not an extra

Sucking boobs, fingerbanging - quasi extra

Cumming in your pants from a lap dance - almost extra

Hand job, blow job, fucking - extra

In many places, all but the last set are legal. Some jurisdictions and/or clubs forbid any contact at all between dancers, while others range from none at all to full two way contact with a nude dancer.

Always treat all girls as civilians, and in all situations.

What I learned, in AMPs, but also working perfectly in Strip Clubs, is just move on her as a civilian. Imagine that you just met her at a party.

And when they have booths and backrooms, make it happen with her in the front room. Don't let her sell you dances. Make it happen with her and when it is time for your pants to come down, then you invite her to the back room.

For me in AMPs, best is to talk and get to know her and soften her up, and then just DFK her. Doesn't always work, but when it does, the results are phenomenal. Same approach works in strip clubs.

Lap Dancing used to man lap sitting. Letting girls sell you dances is a chumps game.

SJG

The Best Of Cream youtube.com

Thanks for all the advice. It seems the laws in RI are still pretty vague/lax, and I have no problem asking explicitly for extra touching etc, just wanted to make sure that wasn't seen as a rookie thing.

Also good to know that first offense touching won't get you ejected, good to know that you can test the limits.

at this point with you... don't even bother yet. at some point it will fall into your lap. first just experience the ladies and the clubs for a while to get comfortable and see how things work. believe me that there is a learning curve. just don't get stupid and spend lots of money.

^don't even bother with extras yet^

I agree. Start slow.

@GMD- I wouldn't even count sucking boobs as a quasi extra. In my experience most girls will let you do it, whether it's a extras club or not. I wouldn't even count cumming in your pants being close to a extra, but I guess it would depend on what the girl was doing to get you to cum in your pants.

So in recap I would change touching pussy (no insertion) to quasi extra, and I would remove sucking boobs from quasi extra, and I would put cumming in your pants as nothing.

^^^ thanks for the definitions 15 year old. Now get back to your algebra homework.

"... is it discussed once in the VIP area and things are heating up ..."

You're not on a date - first mistake many newbs and inexperienced SCers make is interacting w/ the dancers as if they were in a single's bar - the strip-club is not about hooking-up; it's business; and that's the way the dancers look at it and the way custies need to look at it so they get fair value for their $$$.

The most common thing that happens to newbs is getting ripped off by dancers - they (newbs) just go along w/ w/e the dancer says - as I mentioned it's business and you are paying so hould should have a certain degree of control over what you get for your $$$ - strippers are basically sales-people and many can be sharks and can smell newbie-meat in a strip-club second - just like in sales, you would not go to a car dealership and just take the salesman word for it and just pay what he says - i.e. you have a say in it to make sure you get fair value for your $$$.

As others have said, there are clubs in cities that have tight local ordinances so no touching is allowed, but AFAIK RI is not one of them; read some reviews of the clubs you plan to visit.

If contact is allowed, don't ask if you can touch b/c they'll know right away you're a newb - most strippers will want to make the most $$$ for the least work and may say "you are not allowed to touch" when it's a lie or may say you gotta pay extra to touch which is also a lie.

Her grinding on you and you touching her breasts is normal in today's two-way contact clubs (RI applies AFAIK) - some dancers have GPS (golden pussy syndrome) and won't allow touching in touching-clubs but they often tend to be the exception o/w they can't keep up w/ the competition and won't make as much $$$.

When I'm getting a dance I just start touching - in the rare cases they say no then it's one-and-done - some may let you suck their tits especially if you are getting multiple dances (may be a good idea to wait for the 2nd dance so she knows you are spending $$$ on her and not trying to get everything in just one dance) - I usually just go for the suck and they'll pull-away and that let's me know they don't want to - sometimes I ask.

"VIP" can have multiple meanings depending on the club - VIP can mean that is where individual dances are given (instead of on the floor); or it can mean paying for a block of time where you have to pay a house-fee to use the room/area and also pay the dancer a bulk payment vs a per dance payment (usually 15 to 30 minutes long).

The VIP where one pays a house-fee and pays the dancer a block payment is usually if one wants to get extras (handjob, BJ, fucking) - in two-way contact clubs paying the VIP premium is not worth it just to get dances.

IMO - you should not tell a dancer you've never been to the club and specially that you have never been to a club - some are cool and will show you the ropes; but many are sharks and looking to get paid by any means necessary - so you should:

• via reviews know the dance-price ahead of time

• if wanting extras - always best to negotiate upfront b/f plunking down the dough for VIP (negotiate what you want and for what price)- also some of the sharks have the bait-and-switch hustle where they promise you everything and change their tune once they got your $$$ - that's why I don't pay her part till the end after services have been rendered and I let her know b/f we head to VIP that I do not pay upfront - if wanting extra it's probably a good idea to get some dances w/ her so you can feel her out - after having a bit of a rapport w/ her you can just ask her "do you do VIP" - in clubs were extras happen the dancers know what this means - some that don't do extras will either say "no" b/c they know VIP implies extras and some will say "yes but I don't do extras/have-sex" if she says yes to VIP then you have to tell her what you want and what you are willing to pay (don't ask her how much b/c man will give you a sky-high price b/c many newbs don't know any better and bite) - so you need to know what a fair offer is ahead of time

• some clubs require one to pay the club for the dances ahead of time; but this is the exception - the norm is you pay the dancer after you have finished the dances - some sharks will try to over-count and in some clubs it's hard to tell when one song ends and the next one begins - and some green newbs just let the dancer go on dancing and then are shocked when they get charged for 6 songs - I use the method of telling her b/f we begin to let me know every time she starts a new song that way I can keep count and she knows I'm keeping count and we're on the same page - some clubs have an employee at the entrance of the lap-dance area that keeps track of dances b/c dancers may have to pay a cut of every dance to the club (e.g. if the dance is $25 the dancer needs to pay $5 to the club so there is an employee keeping track) - if the club has one of these dance-counters he can often straighten out any misunderstandings in dance-count but some of them are sleeze balls that will take the dancer's side and go w/ w/e the dancer says - again that's why I ask her to let me know every time she starts a new song

• tip the girl that takes your cover a buck

• tip the waitress or bartender

• some clubs have a bathroom attendant that will hand you soap and a towel, customary to tip him a buck

Remember it's BUSINESS - many newbs fall in-love w/ dancers that shower them w/ attention and then get taken big-time - many custies go there all-needy and lonely but you best believe the dancers are just there to get paid and will pretend and make you feel like you are the greatest thing since sliced-bread but it's all just an act.

Below is a recent TUSCL article about a semi-unsuspecting custy and his involvement w/ a dancer:

tuscl.net

As others have said - take it slow and do a few visits so you can get a feel for the environment and get comfortable interacting w/ dancers b/f you start delving into more advanced stuff like extras - and don't rush into dances on your first visit - wait 20 to 30 minutes to see/feel the M.O. of the club and if dances are given in full view make some glances so you can get an idea of what to expect and how the dances are at that club

First off, I know whether I'm in an extras club or not.

If in an extras club and talking with a dancer, when the topic of going to VIP comes up I simply ask what she is up for? They know what that means, and then will proceed to list the extras she is willing to do, prices, ect, and you go from there with the negotiations.

I'll ask what are they up for, or ask if they are up for anything else besides dances. Both of these are code for extras....then the girl will proceed to offer what she's down for.

When I was a newbie I had no idea how to bring the topic up either, but it's really pretty easy.

^ Ah! I forgot all about the "menu" (of extras)! Thanks for bringing that up.

Well it's easier for maho since he clubs in Detroit where often one does not even have to ask

When I visited Detroit for the only time in July 2014 I took an ebony into the dance booth for some dances - I was seating on the loveseat and she was kneeling in front of me rubbing her hands on my chest and shoulders - I took junior out and she said "oh I see you know how this works" and she started giving me a sweet BBBJ w/o me having to say anything

These folks are in a sales profession. If extras are available in most cases they will let you know that up front and ask you what you want and tell you what it costs. Then you can decide. The only time I've not been given a menu is where I have already been treating the girl very well with tips and I can think of at least a half dozen times where they just unzipped me and went to work and didn't even ask and didn't charge any extra.

I was like you when I first started clubbing a few years ago expect I never knew it was possible (and common) to get extras in a SC. I originally only wanted to go once when I found out that my local club allowed full two way contact. I figured I'd get a few lap dances and squeeze some tits and be done. Then I got an unsolicited HJ in the VIP room that visit and have been hooked ever since. I started seeking extras and eventually got FS from several different dancers.

You can ask the dancer where you are allowed to touch her before the dance starts, some will even let you know ahead of time (you can touch me anywhere but my pussy, you can't touch me anywhere but don't put your fingers in my pussy, etc). You can also start off gradually and let your hands start to roam and shell stop you nicely once you've gone too far. Just start out touching her ass then slowly move your hands up your body till you get to your tits. Then gradually go down towards her pussy.

In regards to extras, doesn't hurt to ask but I'd suggest not bei explicit till you get more comfortable. I usually ask how much the VIP is and if they give me a price that's higher than the minimum I'll ask why she charges more. I've gotten responses such as "it's all inclusive and I have everything we need" while she showed me a condom (she didn't disappoint) and "I'll make you cum". I've also had dancers start dancing in the VIP room and then ask what I wanted to do as her hands rub my dick over my pants. I tel her she should take it out and then usually she'll ask if I'll tip her.

I've also gotten unsolicited extras from many dancers. I've had three of them give me a HJ in a standard lap dance booth. Two of them just did it on their own after a few songs into it, obviously I tipped them well. Then a third took my dick out and offered a specific price for a HJ which I agreed to.

I've also had one dancer give me a BBBJ with CIM completely unsolicited, she just started giving me the BJ and then I got close to finishing I asked her where she wanted me to cum, she said anywhere so I asked if I could finish in her mouth and she said yes. She didn't ask for anything extra but obviously I tipped her well.

Also I recommend you read the glossary. Sounds like you're looking for high mileage dances. mileage basically just means how much touching is allowed during the dance. The higher the mileage the more touching. Extras are anything that involves your dick coming out of your pants.

At my favorite club with an afternoon shift, extras (HJ, BJ, TF, and occasionally FS) are so common in the semi-private VIP room (30 minutes for $150) that I no longer even ask about particular services, though I did the first half dozen times. It seems that almost any day girl there who does VIPs will do an unsolicited BJ, usually BBBJCIM. One exception is with a current favorite, whose first VIP with me last April was lame: lots of two-way touching but no attention to Little Deuce. The next time I saw her, she asked if I wanted to do another VIP and I responded simply "Probably, but I'm looking for a more intimate experience this time". It was on -- since then our VIPs have involved either BBBJCOT or CBJ. (She's not a CIM girl.)

At another favorite dayshift, I usually just get lap dances (the 30-minute VIP room for $100 is lame), but the lappers almost always end happily, and on at least three occasions I got an OTP HJ to completion for the cost of a few $10 dances.

I agree with previous advice: take your time, start with lap dances, don't ever ask for "extras", and then, when you're ready, request the specific service that you want. Welcome to TUSCL!

OP needs to read RickyBoy's The System.

I agree with those who said that you should take it slow. Go to several clubs, stage tip, get lap dances, and have fun. Once you're very familiar with how strip clubs and strippers work which will take a while, then you can start to think about having extra fun. And if you want specific advice on particular clubs or dancers, you need to become known here so people know that you're not LE.

chrono94. i must say i am suspicious of you. you say newbie and never been to a strip club and no review and yet you have vip status. doing things all out of order. after my second club experience... it took me over two years to join tuscl. and longer to post my first review. and join the other site for my local area. you need to convince some of us you are a real strip club fan.

Yeah, he's probably a cop, until he proves otherwise. That's the second time I've done that.

probably a cop? Well this is why I learned early on in AMPs just to treat the girl like a civilian and make it happen. This way she is never being asked to talk about anything dicey until we are quite far along.

Same principle applies in the front room of a strip club.

SJG

I don't think this is so suspicious actually and I did something very similar. Basically the discussions here are open for everyone to see so I was lurking here and was sort of like, "Holy shit, I need that with my boring ass sex life (married for a long time)." I just spent $100 or whatever on a lifetime VIP membership so I could check out all the local clubs prior to visiting and I'm damn glad I did as I was able to land a nice CBJ on my first outing since I knew the club I was going to was an extras club and was able to understand a respond appropriatly to the VIP menu when it was presented. Had I not read up, I may not have actually understood exactly what was being offered.

To the OP, the main thing I can offer is just to repeat the advise to read all the reviews. If you are in the type of club where they basically just come out and offer extras (although sometimes in a subtle way), you'll know by the reviews and can respond appropriatly. Short of that kind of club, I agree with everyone else to just go and have a good time until you get comfortable with the scene. I've been to 1-2 clubs in RI actually years ago for a buddies batchelor party and had a hell of a good time and suspect you'll be able to find an extras club up there pretty easy.

chrono94. if you are a genuine monger.... then welcome. and if you are LE... then fuck you in every way distasteful. you are totally in opposite of everything natural.

^^^^ I did not mean to say that I thought the OP was a cop. Hard to follow these threads sometimes. I just meant, don't try to talk the girl into anything. Just make it happen with her. Then she has nothing to fear about cops.

SJG

I can see where merlin05 is coming from. I see where someone would, wow the info on this site is great, I'll gladly kick in $100 right off the bat. That's not so strange. I half though the same thing when I first joined.