Dating/Falling for a Stripper

32 comments

• jackslash

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  8 years ago

  You're closer in age than I am to the strippers I do OTC with, and so it might work out. But probably not. Strippers be crazy. And their job is to get money out of men. A couple of my favorite dancers will sometimes hang out with me with no sex involved. When I have sex OTC I always offer them money, and a few times they will refuse. Is this love or a frequent customer discount? I actually enjoy hanging with strippers (and sometimes with their kids). But you can get sucked into the chaos of their lives and they will ask for non-cash favors like buying food or McDonald's for their kids or paying their overdue cable bills. You may develop feelings for them, and they will take advantage of that. When they call you late at night and want to talk to you about their problems (as happened to me last night), you know you're a hopeless PL.
• RandomMember

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  8 years ago

  Key part of this story is that you're only 6 years apart in age. This is not a May-December delusion-fest. Sounds like she's into you and probably needs someone in her life since she has a kid. If you really like her, then why not?
• ime

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  8 years ago

  6 years is nothing
• K

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  8 years ago

  Proceed with caution and have an exit strategy . With that said, go for it. It is the only way you will know. I hope whatever you decide makes the two of you happy.
• larryfisherman

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  8 years ago

  6 years is not a big difference at all, the girl I'm dating is 5 years older than me. Jackslash is right though, strippers be crazy.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  Here's some brotherly punch-in-the-arm perspective: first, she's a stripper, and nearly everyone on here who has dated or been involved with a stripper has horror stories, regardless of how amazing she seems at first, and 100% chance her hotness and the amazing sex are blinding you to the warning signals. Second, I'm hoping that you can see the horrifying inappropriateness of her introducing her child to you -- a john (regardless of what her feelings may or may not be towards you, that's what you are) who she has met 4 times. It is unspeakably, wildly inappropriate. If you don't have kids, you might not have this perspective, but speaking as someone who has kids and has been dating for something like 7 years -- it's atrocious. So there's two interpretations here: 1. She's using the child to manipulate you. She knows you're falling for her and that this touching act of trust will pull you in even deeper, reinforcing her pretend don't-care-about-the-money long con. 2. She genuinely likes you and has unspeakably, almost dangerously poor judgement. It will be interesting to see her parenting skills in action, first hand For me personally, as a dating parent myself, the introduction of the child into the relationship at this point is as bright, blinking red stop sign as anything I could imagine.
• RandomMember

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  8 years ago

  "Second, I'm hoping that you can see the horrifying inappropriateness of her introducing her child to you -- a john (regardless of what her feelings may or may not be towards you, that's what you are) " ----------------------------------------------------------- Actually a very good point. Any therapist would probably say the same thing. Still, from the dancer's perspective, she probably trusts CH3 enough to introduce her child.
• RandomMember

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  8 years ago

  What is CH3 anyway? Some kind or organic molecule derived from methane?
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  -->"Still, from the dancer's perspective, she probably trusts CH3 enough to introduce her child." ...and, to bring things around again, if she trusts CH3 enough to introduce her child, based on interactions in the club and four sex-based interactions outside the club, she's got incredibly poor parental judgement and skills. Still, I haven't seen anything in Ch3ll's post yet that gives any indication whether this is part of a long con, or just bad parenting. I'm not sure which is worse! 'course, I also won't be terribly surprised if the date with the child never happens, which would definitely indicate manipulation (she knows even the discussion of meeting her child will drag him in deeper). Still all blinking red stop sign for me...
• Player11

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  8 years ago

  Wtf just make her an offer and then fuk her. What is all this stupid shit about dating them? They are whores.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  ^^^Subra maybe nobody thinks like this, but I agree that it is a bright red flag, this broad bringing a child into the mix, I would be so suspicious of her motives that would be a major deal breaker for me. I could never trust any woman that had a child and disregarded every safety precaution, there's no way that this is going to end well. My advice to the OP run the hell away as fast as you can it's only going to get worse.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  ^^ I imagine that if you have never been in the position of dating as a single parent, you might not realize how beyond-the-pale this is...
• Player11

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  8 years ago

  Their goal sell u on dating lie then get money for services not performed. I make them offer meet OTC at motel or fuk itc.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  For the most-part strippers are not dating-material, you are dating her and her problems - I think she's looking at you as a meal-ticket and aln easy-mark (aka nice-guy) - if you can get w/ a hot young chick why make it a stripper since you're not an unemployed bum w/ a criminal record - if you are young and have a good-job then find a nice civvy if you want to date someone exclusively - if you can omly get w/ a hot-chick that's a stripper then that's something to think sbout in that she may not be into you for legitimate reasons - in the end I think you would lose more than you would gain and the way you often describe your OTC interactions w/ strippers is too Capt Save-a-ho(ish) IMO - to me, the way you explain things, makes me think you're not at this point ready for dating a stripper
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  I'm not that appalled at her introducing him to her kid - more often than not the PL is one step-above (and often many steps above) the baby-daddy and even most if not all of her acquaintances and often even several steps above most of their family members
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  Count me in the group that thinks bringing the kid into the mix at this stage of a screaming, blinking, crimson flag. The vast majority of strippers with whom I've done OTC kept their families and our arrangements completely separate. Hell, my ATF never let me meet her son until after she'd moved in with her boyfriend.
• Daddillac

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  8 years ago

  I hate to keep referencing this but your story hits close to home [view link]
• Ch3ll

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  8 years ago

  @Daddilac I'll have to read that thread. @Random It's a nickname from childhood I modified. The nickname is Chell but I changed the e to a 3. I see where everyone is coming from with the kid. As a PL I guess I'm just as bad as her because she has brought the kid around me once and I even had to rub the little guy to sleep so me and her could get to it. Not sure how many of you view that, but I have 5 kids and feel that a fresh 2 year old won't recall me or what we did (he was sleep). If I had the choice of introducing my kids to her, thatd be a no. I've had a dancer I'm cool with offer to be at my house cooking breakfast one morning when my ex comes over to get the kids for school. I never let that happen and she's never met my kids. The closest any stripper has gotten to my kids is Facebook and I'm only friends with two strippers l, this one and the one I just mentioned cooking breakfast. I don't know what will come of it. Is it a long haul hustle, I don't know. I think it's too much gamble to provide a service and hope you're compensated fairly. And that's what she has done aside from our first meet. Also, as I rethink this, I did mention "for a couple" when I arranged with her, but feel that could have been interpreted either way, time or money. Furthermore, she just never confirmed once we were face to face. I know for a fact she may have made some less than stellar choices, but I try to look at the situation she's coming from/in. The one incident I know of is her leaving her little ones at the house sleep while we went to get some drive thru. Before anybody says this PL, I didn't know the kids (she has two) were left inside alone, because I didn't make it inside until we got back from getting the food.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  ^^^I got to tell you man that is scary, this girl is headed for disaster, if I were you I'd get the hell out of Dodge now while you got a head start and don't look back.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  Damn get back from getting food, you find out there are 2 little kids in the house alone, damn man, are you stupid, how many ways do you think that could go wrong?
• Ch3ll

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  8 years ago

  I know the ways it could have went bad, but after realizing that, it was no longer a concern because we were there. The only concern then came to her and how she could make a choice like that. I'd like to think that was a one off day, because she was pretty drunk, but then again judgements concerning your kids shouldn't different whether you're drunk or not. I know I'm defending her here, but do any of us PLs truly know the whereabouts of a stripper's kid(s) when we're with them or the drugs they're on or currently did??
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  @Ch311 I hear you but still none of us here are mixing in with the mess you have over there, do you realize if something were to happen to those children you would be facing the very least a legal enquery of some sort,maybe a charge of accessory, this girl is just bad news all the way around . Really she could have just as easily asked you to go get food, as gone with you you do what you want your a big boy as you well know but I don't see anything good coming from this, sorry that's my call do what you like, don't seem worth it just for a little pussy.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  LOL ... so, if all this is actually true and not a clever troll, you basically have stripper-level judgement, too, so maybe it's all good :) At this point, you're going in with your eyes open, so you'll make your judgement and earn the results
• Ch3ll

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  8 years ago

  I'm kinda insulted Subraman. I have alot more to learn from the game, but I'm just sharing real experiences while dealing with these strippers.
• gawker

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  8 years ago

  I'm laughing at your horror of introducing the kid. After I'd been seeing my ATF otc for a few years she talked about her son a lot. She & I did an afternoon delight at a hotel near her home one day and the hotel had an indoor pool which we were planning to use for a swim. She suggested that she go home, get her son and bring him to the pool for a swim and that we not speak or acknowledge each other. So I'm swimming and they came in and I moved to the hot tub. Within 5 minutes the kid (about 6 or 7 at the time) came to the hot tub with his mom following. He sat down beside me, introduced himself and asked my name. I said "John" and his mother started laughing so hard I thought she'd piss herself. An hour later she took him home and came back for round 2.
• Tonymarriedloser123

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  8 years ago

  she is a prostitute, you trying to get into a relation with a prostitute. How many johns is she seeing playing this game? Then again you cant condem her for being a prostitute if you are using her services.
• Tonymarriedloser123

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  8 years ago

  she is a prostitute, you trying to get into a relation with a prostitute. How many johns is she seeing playing this game? Then again you cant condem her for being a prostitute if you are using her services.
• Ch3ll

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  8 years ago

  @Gawker Very funny. I've only had one outright introduce me to her son of and age to know (13 yr old) and I don't exactly remember how I got introduced. Moreover, this one had always talked about taking her son with her most places and I sorta expected it, but was surprised when I showed up to dinner and would be paying for three, not two. This was an OTC that was strictly dinner at a restaurant.
• jayhawk123

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  8 years ago

  @Ch3ll...some of what these guys are saying may sound harsh but listen to them. I started trying to do OTC about a year ago. I have gotten myself caught up with some girls that I honestly thought I had a chance to date or at least be FWB. Many on here kept telling me they were just using me for my money. Recently after like the 5th one (counting a couple that go back 5 years) who hung out with me OTC and we had what I thought were serious and deep conversations and I helped when I could both with money and also just favors that didn't involve money. Well this last one finally got me to open my eyes because we had gone on a nice date dinner and a place that interested her and everything seemed fine then 2 days later she is accusing me of supporting another dancer more than her (which wasn't even close to being true) and texting me telling me she never wants to talk to me again. Now you did have sex with this girl at least once if I understand you right which is a plus. The greatest thing I have learned on here is the best way to find out if she honestly likes you and is interested in dating you OR if it is just about the money is simply quit giving her money. I promise you it won't take long for you to get your answer. If she doesn't mind not getting paid then she is into you but if she goes off on you or cuts off communication then you saved yourself alot of pain. Either way you save yourself alot of money.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  I'm decades older than strippers so genuine dating is not an option. The best I can hope for is the rare free fuck. But I do know and understand strippers. And if I I was your age I'd definitely go for it. Sure drama is inevitable but it gives you good stories to tell. Just imagine how boring tuscl would be if guys like gawker chose not to shoot up heroin with a stripper. Btw gawker, the John story is very funny.
• s88

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  8 years ago

  My ex-fav, one of her baby daddys she met ITC. He is now in federal prison for drugs. She could be looking for a dad figure (you will be called "uncle") for her kid, so her kid can grow up semi-normal. How much $ you spend, and how much free stuff you get out of it, is the question.
• Imamutt

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  8 years ago

  All good advice, but as with many a PL. myself included, it may have to be learned the hard way. This may not pertain to your situation but this is how it typically goes: Unless you can entirely. support her, it won't be exclusive. There will be a myriad of excuses to not be able to see you in order to cover the fact she isn't exclusive. In the long run, if you can accept the truth, you might maintain a workable arrangement. I believe that in these situations even if you fork over enough to keep her to yourself, she will miss aspects of the lifestyle that gave her a thrill and a sense of unattached freedom, and will continue to entertain other men just for fun or even just to have a backup plan/escape strategy. She may be your one and only, but to her you are expendable. I really do hope we are all wrong and that it all works out!!!