My wife the "Anti-strip cluber"
utallcoolone
New York
When I was young and before I was married, I went to strip clubs once in awhile. Guys don't go because we think we can find a date there, we go for the eye candy, period. Anyone who thinks otherwise is simply an idiot. My wife, doesn't want me to go and considers it cheating! She is less than accommodating in bed and sometimes downright awful. Everything else about her I love, and she is beautiful!
So I'm stuck with this dilemma. I have already gone only a couple times in the over 10 years I've been married and because of the guilt I really don't have a good time (ok, maybe a little ;-). But there was a time where it was enjoyable. I almost always go solo because I don't need anyone I know knowing. It's a thrill to go for me since I hardly do anyway, and I really don't see the harm. What should I do gentlemen?
So I'm stuck with this dilemma. I have already gone only a couple times in the over 10 years I've been married and because of the guilt I really don't have a good time (ok, maybe a little ;-). But there was a time where it was enjoyable. I almost always go solo because I don't need anyone I know knowing. It's a thrill to go for me since I hardly do anyway, and I really don't see the harm. What should I do gentlemen?
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21 comments
Never been married and women seem to run away after 5 years, if they are not leeces, for me. So I ain't much help. Only advice I can give is, don't hide things from her, it isn't going to end well. Try to find here inner freak.
Do you need help rationalizing it? If anything it is a better alternative to cheating, esp. if you actually sleeping with the dancers. Your problem is your feminine side is talking. That's not attractive.
"Take care of business, so you can take care of business." Best advice is ever got.
FWIW, I'm married, too.
Welcome to Tuscl forum.
Women in monogamous relationships often lose sex drive. To restart it they need sexual novelty. The trope is married couples eventually get BDSM, Dom/Sub, humiliation, swingers parties, etc. there's some truth to that. The sex can get boring without novelty now and again.
I think I posted a link about this yesterday in fact. So this is timely.
It also helps to be in shape, if you're after forty. She's more likely to be in the mood if you're still attractive, groomed, and pulled together. Plus you may need to reinvest some emotional capital into the marriage -- like it was when you two were first dating. It helps. You'd be surprised how it helps.
It's not cheating if you tell your spouse that you are stopping off at the strip club for awhile after work. In this case you would probably wind up sleeping on the couch but if she is that bad in bed, it's not much of a penalty.
If you are unhappy with your marriage best to end it sooner than later. I made that mistake. Fuck the cost. If you do it early enough in life you have time to recover.
You have needs your wife is not fulfilling. You can stay miserable in your marriage, make her miserable and end up in a divorce. Or you can go to strip clubs, fuck a few dancers and save your marriage. I know, you won't fuck the dancers. You just want to look at them. Your comments about her being awful in bed speaks volumes.
Be discrete. Use protection. Pay to play is good because you know she isn't going to come around trying to break up your marriage.
If sex with wifey is lacking after only 10 years, be afraid, be very afraid. Having been there, done that, let me tell you -- it doesn't get better. Every year, it will get a little worse. And worse. And worse . . . your resentment will only grow.
Your choices now are:
1.. Divorce ASAP
2. Suggest counseling -- is there an underlying issue preventing her from being more sexually satisfying/satisfied? Could be physiological. Could be emotional. Could be you (and she just can't find the words to tell you). Could be a symptom of a deeper issue unrelated to physicality.
3. If irreconcilable sexually, reach an agreement that she either step up her game (just servicing you) or support your SC visits in the spirit that it is NOT cheating. Maybe she can be convinced to join you.
4. Sneak around for the next 20 years or so and don't get caught. Only spend cash which you have siphoned away surreptitiously. Never miss anything on the home-front of any consequence. Rationalize that your visits are the only thing saving an otherwise mutually beneficial marriage. As the sex with wifey will get less frequent and less satisfying through the years, eventually you will discover the rewarding world of SC extras and you'll never go back to just looking. Continue until your sex drive diminishes to that of a pet rock.
Sadly, I'm going on more than a decade as #4. My last bingo w wife was 25 months ago (not that I am counting or anything). Many days, I regret my choices, but, at my age, I am not sure that there is another way to go for me. I am waiting for pet rock-time. Still going strong . . .
You're young and you have options!
If this is a serious thread -- take a beat and think through what you think you can handle for the long run before you wake one morning and have 25 years of "wedded bliss" behind you.
SJG
SJG
The Hermetic Hour:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyQ0fjNo…
Dominic77 links about women, outstanding:
http://www.medicaldaily.com/pulse/what-w…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/med…
I will add luckily I travel a lot for work so my strip clubbing is never an issue and I do not club any on my home turf.
FWIW - I think you can still be a good husband and have your needs met on the side - those are genuine needs that will not go away no matter how hard you try - as I said I've never been one to cheat but now that I'm older (47) the alternative of being constantly frustrated cor years is probably worse - it's torture and probably not bealthy mentally, emotionally, and physically - FWIW there lots of married TUSCLers, probably half and most likely more.