OT: My dilemma, what would you do?
jester214
North Carolina
In one hand is a smoking hot 21 year old college girl. While I often have fun with her we really don't much in common and sometimes she can be excruciatingly boring. She also wants to text non-stop. It took time and some fairly expensive dates to get her into bed. She's not great in bed, seemingly inexperienced which meshes with what she's told me about her previous sex life. She partially makes up for this with enthusiasm. I'm also faced with the fact that this isn't someone I could bring to social gathering with friends and/or family. She has begun to use words like "relationship", "exclusivity" and "December trip to Biltmore". Additionally I recognize that while this isn't 'pay for play', some of my attractiveness is based on my ability/willingness to spend money on her.
In the other hand is a early 30's professional woman. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with her time with her. She is attractive but not in a drop dead sexy kind of way, (Grown men hurt there neck to stare at college girl when she's dolled up). She was much quicker to hop in the sack and so far seems happy to spend time together and fuck with no additional labels. I would happily bring her around friends and family. Her only serious con is she's been divorced less than a year (no kids) and I think there's some baggage there.
So do I keep college girl and forgo dating other women including the acceptable age appropriate lady OR do I drop the arm candy and continue to explore other options?
Keeping both is not an option. While I don't believe in pure monogamy I'm not going to actively maintain something on the side.
In the other hand is a early 30's professional woman. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with her time with her. She is attractive but not in a drop dead sexy kind of way, (Grown men hurt there neck to stare at college girl when she's dolled up). She was much quicker to hop in the sack and so far seems happy to spend time together and fuck with no additional labels. I would happily bring her around friends and family. Her only serious con is she's been divorced less than a year (no kids) and I think there's some baggage there.
So do I keep college girl and forgo dating other women including the acceptable age appropriate lady OR do I drop the arm candy and continue to explore other options?
Keeping both is not an option. While I don't believe in pure monogamy I'm not going to actively maintain something on the side.
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37 comments
I have had a similar experience and the 30 something blew away the 20 something in every category but looks.
Remember the only reason the 20 something is there is for your money, the 30 something is there for you.
Dump college girl once she starts pushing you hard to get serious. "She's not great in bed".
I imagine the divorcee isn't looking to settle down any time soon.
That being said, before you dump the hot 21 year old, have a crazy, wild romp where you just have your way with her and her body. Teach her just how crazy fun fucking (or is it ducking?) can be. Do everything you have ever wanted to do with her. I'd fuck her ass too just to expose her to a different experience. Take the chance and give her a full sexual experience and see if you can broaden her horizons. If she then steps up her game in bed, then you can make a decision based on the "new her".
Just a thought.
I vote for the 30 year old, her maturity will make for a better experience, young hot babes are great but they don't have fully developed brains. Brains are a big turn on for me.
The way I read this the question is "committed exclusive relationship" vs. "more casual non-committal intimate relationship".
Step 1 is deciding which of those you are looking for.
Step 2 is deciding if you want what you want with the particular women offering it.
Personally, I find the idea of exclusive long term sugar daddy relationship (you made it clear hot young thing is partly in it for the financial pampering) to be a little silly. Is the idea to fall hard and eventually get dumped or to lie?
It sounds like the only reason you would spend any time with the college girl would be to impress other people that you don't know.
When I was in my early to mid 30s, I dated girls closer to my own age. Not because I couldn't score younger girls, but because I was looking for something long term, including someone ready to be a mother. Girls in their early 20s can be a lot of fun, but they tend to be immature and change a lot through their 20s. A 30 year old woman is generally a very different person than she was at 22. I didn't want to get serious with a young girl and even have kids with her when the odds that she would want something completely different 5 to 10 years later were just too high.
So that was a long winded way of saying that if you are looking for something serious and long-term, then the 30 something girl might be a better choice. However, if you are just playing around and have no interest in being encumbered, then you would be doing the 30 something girl a favor by cutting her loose and you could enjoy the 21 year old girl while the ride lasts.
Good luck!
I was curious to hear all your answers, little surprised there seems to be such a consensus.
Maybe one day I'll be able to come up with some genius one liners like telling people to go kill themselves... That's both smart and hilarious.
On the board it's easy to think w/ the big-head - if we were in your shoes we'd be thinking w/ the little-head and be as confused.
The divorced and back to business professional seems to be a careerist who is trying to just cap her failure at marriage. I am not saying divorce is her fault but people are generally the same with a narrow spectrum of differences. Relationships are made out of compromises.
If you wan't a fuck buddy go with the more fulfilling experience.
@Nina, I think/hope that's a sarcastic "thank you" but given some of your comments I'm really not sure. So to be safe, I'm mocking you.
If you prefer being the rebound guy for a finished product as a diversion who wouldn't draw jealous chatter, you have your answer of who to pick. ;)