There have been countess topics on here about why strippers do certain things. Have you ever just asked a stripper in person why they do things? For instance after a stripper told me what shit her boy friend had just pulled on her, I asked her "Where do you girls find these lame boy friends?" In this case she responded that she knew him from high school.
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last commentI was able to talk with my original ATF about anything. So yeah, after another beating by her babbydaddy I had a frank discussion with her about why she stays with him.
My current ATF is a different situation. She hasn't lived with her babbydaddy for 3 years. He never laid a hand on her but he won't pay a dime in child support for his 2 kids to help her. He's black and I'm afraid if I talk to her about it, Nina will find out abd accuse me of being racist.
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it's not just the one decision. it's every decision they make after that as well. each decision becomes another point of no return.
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I've spoken to many about their poor choices in boyfriends, finances or whatever. I rarely bring it up. when they do I may ask questions.
I found there is one large group that make bad decisions all the time. I think it is about three fourths of the ones I've known. It isn't that strippers make bad decisions. Women that make bad decisions and don't learn from those bad decisions become strippers. In that group there are a significant number that feel they deserve punishment or don't deserve better so they sabotage their lives every time it starts to come together.
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All the time. Just ask them! :)
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No. I don't want to do or say anything that might make a girl feel bad about herself and start questioning what she is doing, including what she will be doing a little later with me. ;)
Now some of these girls cannot help themselves and volunteer the stupid shit happening in their lives, including their own shortcomings and fuckups. But they get nothing but affirmation from me. I've got about a half dozen affirming statements in my back pocket, including:
"Fuck anyone who doesn't like how you earn. Unless they're feeding your kids/paying your bills, they don't have a right to an opinion."
"You sound like a damned good Mom to me."
"Fuck him. If he gives you shit about how you earn, then tell him to get his whiny ass out there and help you out."
"Sounds to me like you did everything you could."
"Then he's the one that fucked up he doesn't deserve you." This one is sometimes followed with: "Don't let assholes like that get in your head and make you question yourself."
There are others, but you get the picture. These are all delivered in a mildly righteous and/or disgusted tone designed to let her how ridiculous the expectation / criticism/ other person / accusation / [whatever else] was, lol.
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^^^This stuff actually works. It's what they want to hear. Especially after you have about 3 drinks in them.
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I am 90% with Rick too. With a single exception -- sometimes I"ve gotten so close to a stripper that she invited me in deeper, almost as a mentor. Otherwise, I usually:
That last one goes triply for strippers, but applies to all women. This Youtube video brilliantly explains it all: youtube.com
To the extent I understand the how's and why's of strippers doing certain things, it's because they volunteered it all, often to a fault.
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^^^ If it didn't work, I wouldn't keep doing it. ;)
In one of my favorite clubs, the head dancer/house mom sits with me and chats, for the price of a few cheap drinks, just because I'm easy to talk to and she "knows" I'm not judging her. This chick has been worth her weight in gold in hooking me up with some of the better talent. I could tell plenty of other stories about hot dancers who sat with me for hours on end, for the cost of drinks and some modest tipping, just because they didn't want to deal with douchebags - many of whom I eventually converted to OTC partners.
Seriously now, I never understood the upside of trying to be a white knight or playing the moral superiority card with strippers. Of course many of them have fucked up lives and make bad choices. But they don't want our help, "advice" or criticism and it just makes them defensive. So why do it? Do some guys feel better about themselves after giving shit to a stripper?
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I agree with Rick
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Y ask a stripper ? They don't have opinions that matter
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^^^^ Bazang!
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LMFAO
The only women I respect is the ones that know their place...in the kitchen and in the bed..
Independent bitches destroyed America
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You would think shadow being so old school he would remember those glorious days of owning bitches and niggers
Back when white men was white men
Not these week pink faggots white boys calling themselves men today when they are owned by their women and the black man keeps rapping the white man and his freedoms
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Note offensive comments above done for Comedy perpasus only
If you take offense then you got issues...lighten the fuck up and laugh at this fucked up world we live in
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^^LOL
Anyway, I listen and treat dancers the same way I would any other human being. However, if it turns out they deal drugs, or vomit in my hotel room, or have abusive BFs I get away. Because that's depressing and not glamorous.
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"No. I don't want to do or say anything that might make a girl feel bad about herself and start questioning what she is doing"
I go along with Rick Dugan on this. It's also because I've seen that I can be perceived as a kind of a hard ass, or what Shailynn calls a "Buzz Kill".
So I don't want to piss off dancers by saying something which would make them feel that I am judging them. That said though, I'm not interested in girls that are into drugs or alcohol, or who deep problematic men in their lives. But no reason to rub their noses in this.
SJG
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founder...time to ban juice forever
I'm still shocked that you're actually a real person
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^^^Juice ain't real, he's really some 13 year old kid that got kicked out of school and just plays Xbox and trolls TUSCL. This is why I don't take offense to anything he says or does. He's just trolling for attention.
He is entertaining at times though.
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Vikings stop being a pussy...real men can take a joke and keep going
I love when ppl make fun of me
Hell show up and kick my ass one day at follies...I'm a big dude but I'm very passive...I will let you destroy me
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My comments seem harsh if you take them wrong...I have a heart of gold and love all of god's creations
I joke off colored jokes because they are funny
I apologize for ppl that are to weak to handle this, but I will not stop doing me
Love you Vikings
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Larry thank you my dark skinned brother
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^^^I'm actually light skinned (I'm half white). I can say "owning niggers" without people calling me racist lol.
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'All you spear chuckers out there, you know I'm just kidding right?"
(Turns back) WHOOOSH......THUD!
" Ah, they got me!"
Don Rickles joke he used to make in Vegas
Juice is right lighten up....lol
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About Extra's Clubs, like I've always said I don't go along with the concept of 'extras'. The whole choreography of it is wrong. Not interested in ejaculation services. Instead, I want the girl to open up to me. So anything else can wait until that first hurdle has been cleared.
Lap dancing used to mean lap sitting, and the GFE potential in that was large.
Ejaculation services only became common when they went to booths and back rooms, and it is mostly a way to take in more money, especially for the house.
Fortunately at some of the most extreme dives, front room lap sitting and GFE are common now, with now also the back room available.
SJG
X- Have Nots
youtube.com
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Interesting that so many older, more settled PLs look down their noses at strippers in their 20s and 30s. If the lives of PLs was compared at the same early stage of life, I'm pretty sure we'd find a lot of challenges and growing up pains.
I respect women who are willing to work to eat, have shelter and provide for kids. Beats dependency in all its forms. Stripper JOBS fill a real need. Us old dogs need intimacy and entertainment. Few other options fill our voids as well. The JOBS are legal and fun for many who do the WORK.
Personally, since discovering strip clubs just a few years ago, I'm having the time of my life. I cherish my young sexy friends, who just adore their Big Daddy. LOL!
Happy clubbing! HG
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As I've mentioned a time or two in the past; I'm no stripper whisperer and neither are most of us I reckon.
I don't think asking them will clarify things more and may often leave one scratching their heads even more at their "explanations" - it seems to me the deeper one digs the more complex the situation often becomes instead of it being more clear.
We all choose our paths in live and many dancers have had upbringings and life experiences that are probably out of the realm of reality for many of us - I often see stripping as the symptom of the problem rather than the problem (assuming there is a problem) - w.r.t. the kinds of SOs they end-up with; IMO is not as if they have a large pool of upstanding candidates to choose from so they often end-up w/ similar dysfunctional people since we often tend to hook-up w/ people of similar backgrounds and beliefs.
And as others have said; it's futile and probably not our place to question their actions no more than we PLs like others questioning our actions.
Many of these girls seem to have learned to survive on their own and "our advice/opinions" really will not do anything for them and their possible predicament(s) - the stripper world does not jive w/ the real-world too well and is probably futile to try and use real-world logic to stripper-world.
Thus IMO asking them why will often just yield more questions than answers and they themselves may often not have a good reason or may not want to get into deep personal stuff as to explain the whys.
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Yes, the ones who work to eat, or work to save money, I also respect. And most of those are Latina, Black, or Asian. With too large a percentage of Whites, they work because they are the family scapegoats, and they lead destructive lives.
Good sex workers are very open people, and they really can change people's lives. I know this personally!
SJG
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^^^^ You should join the real world someday
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Mikeya02, I live more in the real world than you do.
I don't know what sort of a world you live in, or what makes you the way you are.
SJG
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RickyBoy: "But they get nothing but affirmation from me. I've got about a half dozen affirming statements in my back pocket, including:"
Sounds like a really good System, RickyBoy.
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Can I get away with calling papi a wet bake ?
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You can get away with all - you are the Juice Mane
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Even with the ATF I don't get into any deep conversation. I'm not there to be her GF, I'm there for the enjoyment.
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Che LMFAO it's true what you say just ask shailynn....I do look like a racist lol...but I'm not
Just love racist humour
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I used to be fascinated with the private lives of my favorites but no more. BTDT. The drama is always the same; just with different details. I love my CF because unlike my ex-ATF, I'm not interested in involving myself in her actual life.
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LMFAO
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Ask them all you want, just don't expect a truthful answer.
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Nowadays I try to steer clear of the personal level details. If it comes about in convo so be it.
This one stripper I often sit and talk with and sit and talk with in VIP and don't get charged but for the dances she did in there has told me much of her life story. The last time we talked the conversation went into I had a good job and kids and shouldn't be looking for love. Somehow it turned to income not being steady or as great as an outsider might think. I simply said it's a job and you just doing what you got to do. Man! Did she get mad. She crossed her arms and her entire facial expression changed.
So after that encounter I was like okay, no more personal level stuff if I can avoid it. Unless I sense a stripper is genuinely wanting someone to talk to about life shit, then I wont inquire.
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I see, I misunderstood. I though you were talking general "shop" questions, not "personal" questions. I agree personal questions are best avoided. Sometimes I ask dancers because i would like something clarified. To me, things started to get confusing once dancers started allowing high mileage and sex ITC. Or at least the rules and expectations were simpler and more spelled out (by clubs and dancers) in the old days. Nowadays everything can be taken to the limit.
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Yeah, I've kinda learned it's best to just agree w/ them b/c trying to be logical not only will normally not get you anywhere but more often than not be counter-productive
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I guess that's what makes us PLs, so many guys can't handle these little women...
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