Ask them yourself?
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
There have been countess topics on here about why strippers do certain things. Have you ever just asked a stripper in person why they do things? For instance after a stripper told me what shit her boy friend had just pulled on her, I asked her "Where do you girls find these lame boy friends?" In this case she responded that she knew him from high school.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
41 comments
My current ATF is a different situation. She hasn't lived with her babbydaddy for 3 years. He never laid a hand on her but he won't pay a dime in child support for his 2 kids to help her. He's black and I'm afraid if I talk to her about it, Nina will find out abd accuse me of being racist.
I found there is one large group that make bad decisions all the time. I think it is about three fourths of the ones I've known. It isn't that strippers make bad decisions. Women that make bad decisions and don't learn from those bad decisions become strippers. In that group there are a significant number that feel they deserve punishment or don't deserve better so they sabotage their lives every time it starts to come together.
Now some of these girls cannot help themselves and volunteer the stupid shit happening in their lives, including their own shortcomings and fuckups. But they get nothing but affirmation from me. I've got about a half dozen affirming statements in my back pocket, including:
"Fuck anyone who doesn't like how you earn. Unless they're feeding your kids/paying your bills, they don't have a right to an opinion."
"You sound like a damned good Mom to me."
"Fuck him. If he gives you shit about how you earn, then tell him to get his whiny ass out there and help you out."
"Sounds to me like you did everything you could."
"Then he's the one that fucked up he doesn't deserve you." This one is sometimes followed with: "Don't let assholes like that get in your head and make you question yourself."
There are others, but you get the picture. These are all delivered in a mildly righteous and/or disgusted tone designed to let her how ridiculous the expectation / criticism/ other person / accusation / [whatever else] was, lol.
- Don't ask for any details she's not offering, if that could be interpreted as prying (and it can almost be interpreted as prying)
- Offer her support instead of advice, unless she clearly and specifically asks for advice, and even then sometimes I just offer her advice in the form of support.
That last one goes triply for strippers, but applies to all women. This Youtube video brilliantly explains it all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAH…
To the extent I understand the how's and why's of strippers doing certain things, it's because they volunteered it all, often to a fault.
In one of my favorite clubs, the head dancer/house mom sits with me and chats, for the price of a few cheap drinks, just because I'm easy to talk to and she "knows" I'm not judging her. This chick has been worth her weight in gold in hooking me up with some of the better talent. I could tell plenty of other stories about hot dancers who sat with me for hours on end, for the cost of drinks and some modest tipping, just because they didn't want to deal with douchebags - many of whom I eventually converted to OTC partners.
Seriously now, I never understood the upside of trying to be a white knight or playing the moral superiority card with strippers. Of course many of them have fucked up lives and make bad choices. But they don't want our help, "advice" or criticism and it just makes them defensive. So why do it? Do some guys feel better about themselves after giving shit to a stripper?
The only women I respect is the ones that know their place...in the kitchen and in the bed..
Independent bitches destroyed America
Back when white men was white men
Not these week pink faggots white boys calling themselves men today when they are owned by their women and the black man keeps rapping the white man and his freedoms
If you take offense then you got issues...lighten the fuck up and laugh at this fucked up world we live in
Anyway, I listen and treat dancers the same way I would any other human being. However, if it turns out they deal drugs, or vomit in my hotel room, or have abusive BFs I get away. Because that's depressing and not glamorous.
I go along with Rick Dugan on this. It's also because I've seen that I can be perceived as a kind of a hard ass, or what Shailynn calls a "Buzz Kill".
So I don't want to piss off dancers by saying something which would make them feel that I am judging them. That said though, I'm not interested in girls that are into drugs or alcohol, or who deep problematic men in their lives. But no reason to rub their noses in this.
SJG
I'm still shocked that you're actually a real person
He is entertaining at times though.
I love when ppl make fun of me
Hell show up and kick my ass one day at follies...I'm a big dude but I'm very passive...I will let you destroy me
I joke off colored jokes because they are funny
I apologize for ppl that are to weak to handle this, but I will not stop doing me
Love you Vikings
(Turns back) WHOOOSH......THUD!
" Ah, they got me!"
Don Rickles joke he used to make in Vegas
Juice is right lighten up....lol
Lap dancing used to mean lap sitting, and the GFE potential in that was large.
Ejaculation services only became common when they went to booths and back rooms, and it is mostly a way to take in more money, especially for the house.
Fortunately at some of the most extreme dives, front room lap sitting and GFE are common now, with now also the back room available.
SJG
X- Have Nots
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDAs5Jgo…
I respect women who are willing to work to eat, have shelter and provide for kids. Beats dependency in all its forms. Stripper JOBS fill a real need. Us old dogs need intimacy and entertainment. Few other options fill our voids as well. The JOBS are legal and fun for many who do the WORK.
Personally, since discovering strip clubs just a few years ago, I'm having the time of my life. I cherish my young sexy friends, who just adore their Big Daddy. LOL!
Happy clubbing! HG
I don't think asking them will clarify things more and may often leave one scratching their heads even more at their "explanations" - it seems to me the deeper one digs the more complex the situation often becomes instead of it being more clear.
We all choose our paths in live and many dancers have had upbringings and life experiences that are probably out of the realm of reality for many of us - I often see stripping as the symptom of the problem rather than the problem (assuming there is a problem) - w.r.t. the kinds of SOs they end-up with; IMO is not as if they have a large pool of upstanding candidates to choose from so they often end-up w/ similar dysfunctional people since we often tend to hook-up w/ people of similar backgrounds and beliefs.
And as others have said; it's futile and probably not our place to question their actions no more than we PLs like others questioning our actions.
Many of these girls seem to have learned to survive on their own and "our advice/opinions" really will not do anything for them and their possible predicament(s) - the stripper world does not jive w/ the real-world too well and is probably futile to try and use real-world logic to stripper-world.
Thus IMO asking them why will often just yield more questions than answers and they themselves may often not have a good reason or may not want to get into deep personal stuff as to explain the whys.
Good sex workers are very open people, and they really can change people's lives. I know this personally!
SJG
I don't know what sort of a world you live in, or what makes you the way you are.
SJG
Sounds like a really good System, RickyBoy.
Just love racist humour
This one stripper I often sit and talk with and sit and talk with in VIP and don't get charged but for the dances she did in there has told me much of her life story. The last time we talked the conversation went into I had a good job and kids and shouldn't be looking for love. Somehow it turned to income not being steady or as great as an outsider might think. I simply said it's a job and you just doing what you got to do. Man! Did she get mad. She crossed her arms and her entire facial expression changed.
So after that encounter I was like okay, no more personal level stuff if I can avoid it. Unless I sense a stripper is genuinely wanting someone to talk to about life shit, then I wont inquire.