Let me start of by saying I typically dont go out alot. I never actually had an actual relationship for this reason and I'm 21 which turns out to be im still a silly horny virgin. This was my second visit to a Strip Club. To make story short I got there around 3pm nothing usually happened until 7pm hit when this Asian/Mexican mix stripper goes on stage it was if I was looking at my perfect girl everything I can ask for. I tipper her on stage and took her to VIP. Thats where things got interesting for me. She was just freaky ! Grinding on me like if it was the real thing my hands where free to roam and she started moaning as she rode me harder and harder of course threw my pants dont get overly excited now. Next thing you know about 3 songs in I actually busted a nut because she was grabbing my dick at the same time jerking it. I never told her I nutted by the way. At the end she gave me her contact info not really sure what to do about that but since that day I cant stop thinking about. I cant sleep right , I dont eat as much, all I think about her and just stalking the shit out of her on Snapchat. I know its not the best thing to do for a rookie who goes to his 2nd strip club. I just feel as what got me feeling like this is because of the nutting on my pants part like if it was my first time having sex. Which I know its a totally different feeling I just feel like I connected with her somehow out of all the girls I had dances with nothing caught my attention like her. I do feel like asking her to meet when I go to the club again in 2 weeks to meet OTC for dinner or drinks doesn't have to be any sexual activity involved. I just want to get to know her as a person not a stripper if she accepts my offer. I dont know how I'll feel if she denies. Any advice from you experts?
I'm sorry to busy your bubble, but she's not into you like that. That type of activity is normal at that club. And quite frankly it is quite tame in comparison to what some of us have done back there.
She gave you her number so you can know when she works to come in and give her more money. She's not interested in you as a boyfriend or friend. You are a customer only.
I have a pretty good idea who the dancer is you are talking about. And if that's the case, I have her number too.
Now I'm not telling you this to be mean, I'm just giving you the reality of the situation. Strip clubs are for fantasy, remove reality from your vocabulary.
It is best not to turn a dancer into a "real woman." She's there to get you off and should be left that way. You are paying her to have your sexual fantasies fulfilled! Pay her and then go home. It is as simple as that.
Use some of that confidence to go out and get a real girlfriend.
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that you sat in the club for 4 hours, between 3-7. You say nothing happened. And it was only your second visit in a club.
I stay at clubs more than 4 hours all the time, but not if nothing is going on. Were you bored?
I agree with jsbach, your just a kid. First thing, at your age DONT go to strip clubs alone. Second thing, that's how she makes her living and sees you as a means to that. Strippers generally (not all of course but most) aren't looking for relationships, and the hotter and younger they are the less likely they are, but the better they are at making you think they are. Word of advice, if your looking for a girlfriend, don't go to a strip club.
If you want some good reading on my journey through strip clubs I recently wrote an article here in TUSCL, pretty good read if I say so myself.
s88- just get out there. Also through your network of friends. Let them know you are looking. It also helps to be the "fun date guy" (non-torture for her) with common interests or just be interesting enough yourself also helps. It's one thing to get the initial date (that's the easy part) you want repeat dates, too.
I pay young striopers for sex because that's the only way I can get gorgeous young ones to fuck me. I'm older than most of their fathers. But you don't need to do that. Go get on Tinder or whatever hookup ap is hot among young people now and fuck some women for free. At your age, you will totally fuck up your life if you start getting your need for female companionship met my strippers.
1) hit the gym. Either to lose fat or build muscle
2) style: haircut and clothes. You don't have to spend a fortune or chase every trend, but you want to look like you care to try to look good
3) you can honestly meet girls everywhere. You should be in school, right? Classes. If not, you need to build a career. Lots of people meet people through their jobs.
4) Tinder. Instagram and snapchat. Try to add everyone you meet, guy or girl. The guys make it look like you're a popular dude, and make it less creepy when you ask the girls.
It's fine to really enjoy a stripper. But she just wants your wallet.
JamesSD: Great post man! Great post. I'd like to add my 2 cents with additions to your concise advice! This is for others reading this:
1) I like cardio interval training. Start with a treadmill or an elliptical machine. Basic "interval training" is you run flat-out full speed for 30 seconds, then walk fast for 60 seconds, repeat. Start with 9 minutes, and slowly build up 90 seconds at a time until you are at 30 minutes (or more).
Weight train. You will need to work with a trainer to build something, probably with Nautilus machines. This will take 40-75 minutes depending on what you incorporate. Strive for 4 days a week to start. You alternate legs and upper body. If you find one side of your body is stronger than the other, work with the trainer to identify free weight exercises to isolate and build.
If you are time crunched, you can try to do everything in 1 hour, figure 40 minutes on weights and 10-20 minutes on cardio.
If you are super time crunched, try for 10-20 minutes of cardio, and 1 set of 15 reps of 150lbs on the bench press. If you can't do 150 lbs, do what you can to start. This takes like ~15 minutes total and it better than nothing and better than "maybe tomorrow or next week." (which never happens, right)
If you have knee problems and can't run, then consider biking in the morning and golf in the evening. Shoot for 60 minutes of each.
Also consider a calorie restricted diet. How low depends on how much you are weight training. Until you get BMI into the healthy range, don't worry about increasing significant muscle mass. If you're only doing cardio and little weight lifting, try 1400 calories/day to start. Eat that wait for 6 days a week, then have 2-3 cheat meals where you eat whatever you want the 7th day, or optionally space out the cheat meals throughout the week. Having the cheat meals keeps you from going insane, IME. If you need more calories to get through the exercise, then go up to 1800 calories.
(2) In addition to your hair cut, consider getting a touch-up in between visits. For very short hair styles, go back every 3 weeks for a full cut, if you can. For merely short or longer hair styles, go back in-between hair cuts, for a quick clean-up of the "back of the neck" & "around the ears" every 2-3 weeks (where you get a full cut every 4-6 weeks). Barbers often charge less for a touch-up. Again, it makes you look very groomed. A touch-up matters. WOMEN NOTICE THIS.
If you have facial hair and you style it, trim it up or make it neat, weekly, and shave the exposed 5 o'clock shadow daily. If you are fully clean shaven, then stubble is OK. Often stubble works well on a man as it shows the women that you *could* grow a beard if you wanted to, you just don't.
For clothes, for a man, it is better to look GOOD than it is to look DIFFERENT. Meaning, I'd prefer a smaller wardrobe of better clothes that fit well and look good on me with a touch of personal style and wearing them more often, than to have a larger wardrobe that don't work as well. So you don't need to go nuts here, $$-wise. It is far better to look good than different (each day).
If you use aftershave, switch to a lotion and stop using the alcohol based one. If you use cologne, switch to Eau de Toilette (EDT). It has a higher concentration of oil than aftershave or even cologne. EDT costs more than cologne but you use less. The scented oil in it is heat activated. So it has a slower release, last longer through the night, and you don't smell like you *bathed* in cologne. You use like 2 spritz of EDT. You apply it to your "pulse points." You have 2 arteries in your neck and 2 in your wrists. Either spritz it on the two pulse points on your neck, or spritz one on your right neck artery, and one to you wrist. Then rub your wrists together to transfer a little to the other wrist.
The upside to using EDT this way is 2 fold. First, the scent isn't noticable until the lady gets very close to you. It's sort of like a shared secret and only the 2 of your know. It encourages her to get close to you to notice it. Second, since you aren't applying it ALL OVER you, EDT on the pulse points is FAR less likely to transfer over to (rub off on) her. Women, especially strippers, appreciate this. Good stuff lasts 5-8 hours on your skin this way, which out lasts cologne and aftershave quite a bit.
Also trim your fingernails and toenails and file them smooth with an emory board.
*****
For those interested who might need to loose A LOT of weight. (morbidly obese)
SOONASYOUGETUPEACHMORNING
=========================
Drink 16 oz of water. No excuses.
MORNING EXERCISE
================
30-60 minutes of walking or biking
..If you have knee problems, consider golf instead of walking.
..If you are morbidly obese, you might need to lose some weight first, through diet only, until you can put much strain on your knees, which is okay. At that point, consider adding exercise when it is safe.
BREAKFAST
=========
16 oz of water, first
100 calories cereal and milk.
..Prefer oatmeal (thick rolled oats, steelcut oats)
..Cold cereal like cherrios or grape nuts are OK.
1 medium banana
16 oz of water, finish
unsweeted coffee or tea, if you want.
MIDMORNING SNACK
================
16 oz of water, first
1 medium orange, apple, or berries
16 oz of water (if you can)
LUNCH
=====
16 oz of water, first
2 slices of the most unprocessed bread you can stand
2 slices of lunch meat
either sliced cheese or mayo, but not both
as much lettuce or romaine lettuce on the sandwich as you want.
16 oz of water, finish
unsweeted coffee or tea, if you want.
MIDAFTERNOON SNACK
==================
16 oz of water, first
1 medium apple or pear or similar (or orange if you didn't eat it in the morning)
16 oz of water (if you can)
DINNER
======
16 oz of water, first
1 cup of beans (in the salad)
small amount of shreaded cheese (shread your own, it tastes better)
1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil
as much fat free dressing as you want (or just use fancy vinegar).
as much green leafy stuff and crunch vegetables as you need to feel full, make a nice salad.
16 oz of water, finish (if you can)
unsweeted coffee or tea, if you want.
EVENING EXERCISE
================
30-60 minutes of whatever you didn't do in the morning. (walk/bike/golf)
2HOURSAFTERDINNERSNACK
======================
a ~200 calorie protein bar, cliff bar, or power bar, greek yogurt, or similar
CHEATMEALS
==========
up to 3 cheat meals per week (many people choose pizza or hamburger or chipotle or 4 locos and tacos or other fast food). Strive to only have 1 cheat meal per week if you can. If you are craving *something*, be sure to eat it during your cheat meal. Chances are your body is telling you what you are missing a nutrient, and you may be craving that food as a result.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!
---
I saw I guy go down from 400 lbs to 180 lbs using this diet for 12 months. He lost 20 lbs a month most months (starting the second month). The diet is kind of boring but works.
You can vary the cereal, fruits, lunch meat, beans, switch beans for meat, try differ cheeses on the sandwich or salad, from day to day, or week to week. Also eat as much salad greens as you need to feel "full." IME, it is *depressing* and *demoralizing* to go to bed hungry or starving. Drinking this much water will cause you to no longer retain water, so you do see some weight loss immediately, which is nice. The downside is, of course, you are urinating every 60 minutes. Not all jobs or workplaces can accomodate that. The upside to all of the water, is it will take very little food to make you feel full each meal. You may find you need to *choke* down the water, but please try.
Reference
=========
I got this plan from a sports trainer a long, long time ago.
Most of us are too old to date women who strip. That's why we are customers.
I would attempt to meet a young woman who is similar to that girl in the real world.
All is not lost. You have found your "type". I still go to strip clubs. I have learned the hard way.
It is best to not get involved with strippers outside of the club. The very nature of their job leads to
drama and financial ruin. Besidies, do you really want to be with a girl long term who dances for other men like that?
@timex345 the answer to your question is"Yes". If you can keep her in check and not get jealous that your stripper girl is dancing on other dudes...at her job purely for profit, then I don't see a problem.
@dominic77 wtf what kind of workout regimen is this? The diabetic exercise? Where's the gym? Where's the barbells, the squats, the curls? I need more than cardiovascular in my workout
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Latest
She gave you her number so you can know when she works to come in and give her more money. She's not interested in you as a boyfriend or friend. You are a customer only.
I have a pretty good idea who the dancer is you are talking about. And if that's the case, I have her number too.
Now I'm not telling you this to be mean, I'm just giving you the reality of the situation. Strip clubs are for fantasy, remove reality from your vocabulary.
Use some of that confidence to go out and get a real girlfriend.
I stay at clubs more than 4 hours all the time, but not if nothing is going on. Were you bored?
If you want some good reading on my journey through strip clubs I recently wrote an article here in TUSCL, pretty good read if I say so myself.
s88-- the best place to meet civies is places where you have common interests-- yoga, concerts, gym, dance classes, etc
s88- just get out there. Also through your network of friends. Let them know you are looking. It also helps to be the "fun date guy" (non-torture for her) with common interests or just be interesting enough yourself also helps. It's one thing to get the initial date (that's the easy part) you want repeat dates, too.
2) style: haircut and clothes. You don't have to spend a fortune or chase every trend, but you want to look like you care to try to look good
3) you can honestly meet girls everywhere. You should be in school, right? Classes. If not, you need to build a career. Lots of people meet people through their jobs.
4) Tinder. Instagram and snapchat. Try to add everyone you meet, guy or girl. The guys make it look like you're a popular dude, and make it less creepy when you ask the girls.
It's fine to really enjoy a stripper. But she just wants your wallet.
1) I like cardio interval training. Start with a treadmill or an elliptical machine. Basic "interval training" is you run flat-out full speed for 30 seconds, then walk fast for 60 seconds, repeat. Start with 9 minutes, and slowly build up 90 seconds at a time until you are at 30 minutes (or more).
Weight train. You will need to work with a trainer to build something, probably with Nautilus machines. This will take 40-75 minutes depending on what you incorporate. Strive for 4 days a week to start. You alternate legs and upper body. If you find one side of your body is stronger than the other, work with the trainer to identify free weight exercises to isolate and build.
If you are time crunched, you can try to do everything in 1 hour, figure 40 minutes on weights and 10-20 minutes on cardio.
If you are super time crunched, try for 10-20 minutes of cardio, and 1 set of 15 reps of 150lbs on the bench press. If you can't do 150 lbs, do what you can to start. This takes like ~15 minutes total and it better than nothing and better than "maybe tomorrow or next week." (which never happens, right)
If you have knee problems and can't run, then consider biking in the morning and golf in the evening. Shoot for 60 minutes of each.
Also consider a calorie restricted diet. How low depends on how much you are weight training. Until you get BMI into the healthy range, don't worry about increasing significant muscle mass. If you're only doing cardio and little weight lifting, try 1400 calories/day to start. Eat that wait for 6 days a week, then have 2-3 cheat meals where you eat whatever you want the 7th day, or optionally space out the cheat meals throughout the week. Having the cheat meals keeps you from going insane, IME. If you need more calories to get through the exercise, then go up to 1800 calories.
(2) In addition to your hair cut, consider getting a touch-up in between visits. For very short hair styles, go back every 3 weeks for a full cut, if you can. For merely short or longer hair styles, go back in-between hair cuts, for a quick clean-up of the "back of the neck" & "around the ears" every 2-3 weeks (where you get a full cut every 4-6 weeks). Barbers often charge less for a touch-up. Again, it makes you look very groomed. A touch-up matters. WOMEN NOTICE THIS.
If you have facial hair and you style it, trim it up or make it neat, weekly, and shave the exposed 5 o'clock shadow daily. If you are fully clean shaven, then stubble is OK. Often stubble works well on a man as it shows the women that you *could* grow a beard if you wanted to, you just don't.
For clothes, for a man, it is better to look GOOD than it is to look DIFFERENT. Meaning, I'd prefer a smaller wardrobe of better clothes that fit well and look good on me with a touch of personal style and wearing them more often, than to have a larger wardrobe that don't work as well. So you don't need to go nuts here, $$-wise. It is far better to look good than different (each day).
If you use aftershave, switch to a lotion and stop using the alcohol based one. If you use cologne, switch to Eau de Toilette (EDT). It has a higher concentration of oil than aftershave or even cologne. EDT costs more than cologne but you use less. The scented oil in it is heat activated. So it has a slower release, last longer through the night, and you don't smell like you *bathed* in cologne. You use like 2 spritz of EDT. You apply it to your "pulse points." You have 2 arteries in your neck and 2 in your wrists. Either spritz it on the two pulse points on your neck, or spritz one on your right neck artery, and one to you wrist. Then rub your wrists together to transfer a little to the other wrist.
The upside to using EDT this way is 2 fold. First, the scent isn't noticable until the lady gets very close to you. It's sort of like a shared secret and only the 2 of your know. It encourages her to get close to you to notice it. Second, since you aren't applying it ALL OVER you, EDT on the pulse points is FAR less likely to transfer over to (rub off on) her. Women, especially strippers, appreciate this. Good stuff lasts 5-8 hours on your skin this way, which out lasts cologne and aftershave quite a bit.
Also trim your fingernails and toenails and file them smooth with an emory board.
*****
For those interested who might need to loose A LOT of weight. (morbidly obese)
SOONASYOUGETUPEACHMORNING
=========================
Drink 16 oz of water. No excuses.
MORNING EXERCISE
================
30-60 minutes of walking or biking
..If you have knee problems, consider golf instead of walking.
..If you are morbidly obese, you might need to lose some weight first, through diet only, until you can put much strain on your knees, which is okay. At that point, consider adding exercise when it is safe.
BREAKFAST
=========
16 oz of water, first
100 calories cereal and milk.
..Prefer oatmeal (thick rolled oats, steelcut oats)
..Cold cereal like cherrios or grape nuts are OK.
1 medium banana
16 oz of water, finish
unsweeted coffee or tea, if you want.
MIDMORNING SNACK
================
16 oz of water, first
1 medium orange, apple, or berries
16 oz of water (if you can)
LUNCH
=====
16 oz of water, first
2 slices of the most unprocessed bread you can stand
2 slices of lunch meat
either sliced cheese or mayo, but not both
as much lettuce or romaine lettuce on the sandwich as you want.
16 oz of water, finish
unsweeted coffee or tea, if you want.
MIDAFTERNOON SNACK
==================
16 oz of water, first
1 medium apple or pear or similar (or orange if you didn't eat it in the morning)
16 oz of water (if you can)
DINNER
======
16 oz of water, first
1 cup of beans (in the salad)
small amount of shreaded cheese (shread your own, it tastes better)
1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil
as much fat free dressing as you want (or just use fancy vinegar).
as much green leafy stuff and crunch vegetables as you need to feel full, make a nice salad.
16 oz of water, finish (if you can)
unsweeted coffee or tea, if you want.
EVENING EXERCISE
================
30-60 minutes of whatever you didn't do in the morning. (walk/bike/golf)
2HOURSAFTERDINNERSNACK
======================
a ~200 calorie protein bar, cliff bar, or power bar, greek yogurt, or similar
CHEATMEALS
==========
up to 3 cheat meals per week (many people choose pizza or hamburger or chipotle or 4 locos and tacos or other fast food). Strive to only have 1 cheat meal per week if you can. If you are craving *something*, be sure to eat it during your cheat meal. Chances are your body is telling you what you are missing a nutrient, and you may be craving that food as a result.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!
---
I saw I guy go down from 400 lbs to 180 lbs using this diet for 12 months. He lost 20 lbs a month most months (starting the second month). The diet is kind of boring but works.
You can vary the cereal, fruits, lunch meat, beans, switch beans for meat, try differ cheeses on the sandwich or salad, from day to day, or week to week. Also eat as much salad greens as you need to feel "full." IME, it is *depressing* and *demoralizing* to go to bed hungry or starving. Drinking this much water will cause you to no longer retain water, so you do see some weight loss immediately, which is nice. The downside is, of course, you are urinating every 60 minutes. Not all jobs or workplaces can accomodate that. The upside to all of the water, is it will take very little food to make you feel full each meal. You may find you need to *choke* down the water, but please try.
Reference
=========
I got this plan from a sports trainer a long, long time ago.
*****
whew!
I would attempt to meet a young woman who is similar to that girl in the real world.
All is not lost. You have found your "type". I still go to strip clubs. I have learned the hard way.
It is best to not get involved with strippers outside of the club. The very nature of their job leads to
drama and financial ruin. Besidies, do you really want to be with a girl long term who dances for other men like that?