Well about 10 days or so ago I went to a strip club with a friend to get over a long relationship that has ended. Seen a dancer that was smoking hot and looks like the kinda girls in into. She seemed very shy and I didn't get to talk to her when I first saw her. Eventually she made her way on stage on a pretty slow night (Thursday) I already had sent most my $1 bills away by now. So she's on stage dancing and we make pretty good eye contact so I throw out the remaining $8 out there. She then asks me if I could take her pants off while on stage and says I smell really good and we should dance. We end up getting a dance where I pretty much tell her I have a $100 budget. The dance is 10+10 I'm rock hard and my head is in the gutter by now. So I ask her for $100 more will you finish me off. Says yes like she was waiting for me to ask so we go to a more private area of the club and proceeds to pull my dick out and give me a good handy. At this point she has me finger blasting her under her panties and inside her. She then takes her panties off and rubs her self against my dick. Before I know what's hits me she ends up sitting on it and riding me for good 15 mins. While she starts to French kiss me I do for a few seconds and worry where she's been the kissing stops but lots of touching and riding me bareback. She lets me finish and ask me for my # so at this point I'm really freaked out cause for $200 I had sex and she got my number. I have asked her a few times if she's clean and she says she has only had 2 partners before me and assures me we are good. I text her a few times over the course of 4-5 days with 1 response saying she won't hang out with guys outside the club so I give up hope thinking it ain't nothing serious.she finally text me asking to hang out at the club. I do and we actually talk for 40 mins when the club is packed. She only dances a few times a month and is from a military fam. We both have had similar situations. She is 21 and i am 26 she has said herself I am not the guy she expects to meet her. She then ask me if I could hang out til she goes on stage cause she has stage fright but at this time it's 11 pm and already been there for a few hours. We then go for a dance and while it isn't as intense as last week it was good. No touching or happy ending tho. I ask if we could so something similar but she says the club is way to busy to even think about that right now. So after my $140 budget is up she asks if she should stop cause it's hurting both of us to Keep going without a good finish. We then stay in the private dance area and talk for another 15 mins or so just telling me she would like to become a massage therapist and she would need someone to work on to rack up the hours. She then massages my hands and throws out little various compliments toward me. We both get up and she follows near the exit and says if I ever need to talk or vent that I could text her anytime. I say I honestly would like to take you out for coffee or drinks just to hang out and she says ya we could do something soon. She then tells me she's not really a big texter so if she dont reply that same day she ain't blowing me off. She seems genuine and seems to work outside the club a lot. Is there more to this ?
Also very sorry for the long post just though the more details the better you guys undersand. By the way the average dance here is $80 for 3 topless dances. So I'm sure the $140 should have been like $300
Long post you wrote so forgive me if I miss something.
So you've met her inside the club twice and that's it, correct?
There's two ways this can go. The first: she genuinely likes you and will soon meet you outside the club. Or the more likely scenario: She wants to make you an "in the club regular" and keeps luring you back inside the club. she is either fucking anyone that has money, or she finds you "not as yucky" as the other PLs in the club and you're part of a small group of guys she's willing to fuck.
You'll have your answer, keep pressing (without being too demanding) to meet outside the club for something more like a "date" than just a romp in your bed at your residence. If she agrees, then you have dating potential, if she doesn't then accept that you're a wallet with a penis. Trust me, it's not such a bad situation, you get sex without the drama.
Lol welcome to the stripclub world where everything that a stripper says is bullshit. Better get yourself on check fast or your gonna be poor and heartbroke.
No she doesn't love you and she doesn't want to date you and I can almost guarantee she wont fuck you without something being exchanged. The best way to make money is to entice a customer until they really think you like them. Some girls go all the way others don't but the mindset is the same. Have I had customers that were really hot...absolutely and do I get turned on hell yea but I can assure you that if she fucked you shes fucked others that night. Very few girls love dancing and even fewer if any would do it for free so the theme is we go for money and if your spreading for it then it def isn't for love or even like. I've always found it funny that men think men are the only ones that can have meaningless sex. Big difference in sex and love making. sorry don't mean to burst any bubble just being honest
Thanks for the quick response guys.
@sjg no I have not.
@shailynn yes only 2 times. I honestly don't know her well enough to say she is or isn't but I'm usually pretty decent at reading people and my gut tells me she's actually telling the truth. What I have picked up from her is while she's super hot she seems pretty genuine. She has mentioned to me that her day job is 45 mins away so she doesn't have tons of free time. I would be ok knowing the truth if she's trying to hustle me or if she likes me. Either way I'm ok with it as long as I we are on same page. I will still come see her at the club regardless.
@sclvr5005 I'm not trying to get to attached but if somehow we become real friends great but if we become friends with benefits even better.
@poledancer83 i sure hope she doesn't love me cause she dont hardly know me but she's made it clear to me that this job is a hustle and while she enjoys dancing she only does this to help pay a bill here and there. I don't expect me to go and get free dances cause I get that she's there to make money and 45 mins just talking to me while the club is busy and I'm sure everyone wants a dance from her just doesn't seem like good business on her end. Not really looking for love but maybe wondering if a sincere friend could come out if this
First off, any club that charges extra for topless is a bad club. So $80 for 3 topless dances is a rip off in my book. Every club I ever sent to, hoes take off their bra immediately before the dance.
Is she into you? Probably not but it doesn't hurt to try. She said soon which is a bad sign because if she was really into you but couldn't make a real date right away, she would have suggested her off day. But she didn't which is a bad sign. Though she really could mean soon. I'd ask again within the very near future. If she gives you the same line again, then she's leading you on for more dances. Don't know what hoe would fuck raw so maybe her priorities are all screwed up.
Well you came to a good place to ask the question. She's not into you, but your money. She'll prey on the fact that you just got out a long relationship. But hey, we tend to fall for these strippers.
I honestly appreciate all the responses.
@tiburon she does have some things going on in her life that she explained to me. She moved in with her best friend (a girl) and they decided to try dating and said it was cool for a few months but now she's the one who is feeling unwanted. The bad thing is she explained to me she still lives with this person and trying to remain friends but feels very unwanted. When I seen her a few days ago she explained to me that she never has sex in the club and some story's of how her friend in college caught something and shes afraid of card's
@chell so I am ok with her being into my money cause I'm gonna meet her there again regardless but I'm just trying to figure out what her intentions really are. I would hate to ignore it if there was something more than friends inside the club.
She has also asked me to follow her on Instagram and yes it's her personal ig and she only has a few hundred followers so it's not like she's just handing it out to everyone.
@jamesSD when I read my post and all the comments that's what it feels like but I am a used car dealer by trade so I like to think I have a pretty good knack for reading people and I have a good idea when they are honest and like I said my gut is telling me she isn't playing me but just trying to get your guys opinions on how or what to do.
This sounds like a rebound girl - that girl who helps get you get past a relationship.
My guess is that she found you attractive in the way of a guy she would hook up for a one-nighter with at a party. Reading anything beyond that into it is probably wishful thinking. Either way, I would suggest to pick out what you want from her and try for that without settling for substitute alternatives. The calmer and less emotionally reactive you are with her, the better.
When you freaked out asking her multiple times if she was clean, that's another way of saying: All the blood had rushed out of my big head there for a minute, but now that it's back, I can't stop thinking about you as a diseased whore. I feel so dirty, say something to make it stop!
If you do end up being "friends" with her, it sounds like it could end up like with this guy:
My advice would be to accept the rebound experience for what it was and focus your energy on other areas of your life. That way, you won't be continually distracted from dating someone you won't have these kinds of reservations about.
About interpreting statements made in the club, they generally have a three part structure:
The justification + the implied request [ the unstated reality ]
For example if a stripper says: "Just so you know, the bouncer is really instrustive tonight."
The justification is that "the bouncer is really intrusive tonight" The request is: Don't expect the dance to be like the last time I saw you [ when it was really slow and the rent was due / your breath wasn't as bad as it is tonight / etc ]
You probably won't be able to read a lie into this kind of statement, because the request part is true, and she's actually hoping you'll get the hint as opposed to being worried about whether you believe the justification part of the statement was.
Some strippers will go 100% GFE, no limits, no "nos" to anything ITC, with "I love you" and "we should hang out", etc. This is the BF hustle. You were supposed to become a sugar daddy to her or something or reward her with a huge tip. Since the quality decreased on visit #2, it means the BF hustle didn't work on you to increase spending so she took it off the table.
"I text her a few times over the course of 4-5 days with 1 response saying she won't hang out with guys outside the club so I give up hope thinking it ain't nothing serious.she finally text me asking to hang out at the club."
You are a SC BF. Refusal to OTC (paid, unpaid, platonic, sex, whatever) means you are just another custie to her.
"I do and we actually talk for 40 mins when the club is packed."
She knows your ego is weak, or an aggressive wanna dance kills your feelings for her and any chance for a dance, so she lets you talk.
"She only dances a few times a month and is from a military fam. We both have had similar situations."
Not a career stripper. GFE is the easiest hustle for them to do/for them to play because they aren't pro-strippers. Non-career strippers can make a amateur custie melt like cotton candy for them with GFE/regular girl act. Hardcore PLs only want pussy on their dick, no talking, no kissing, no GFE, which freaks out the non-pro strippers as them being shady MFs.
"She is 21 and i am 26 she has said herself I am not the guy she expects to meet her."
You are too young to be in a SC. I get that ALL the time at one of my SCs, where I am the youngest customer ever there.
"She then ask me if I could hang out til she goes on stage cause she has stage fright but at this time it's 11 pm and already been there for a few hours."
You are respectful enough that she trusts you wont go all "so how you wanna earn it ho?" on her. No sex interest in you, but atleast you are better than gossiping with the other backstabbing pussy in the club (her coworkers).
"We then go for a dance and while it isn't as intense as last week it was good."
Explain.
"No touching or happy ending tho."
No touching? How so? That is an unforgivable sin to me. I wont say it to her face, but I ignore her from now on, and if she approaches, she never gets another $ from me. But be careful to not burn bridges by telling her why you dont spend on her or she will accuse you of calling her a ho. If she asks "why dont you want a dance?" you can answer directly that she doesn't allow touching.
"I ask if we could so something similar but she says the club is way to busy to even think about that right now."
IDK how to interpret that. She made enough $ tonight she wont do extras type stuff?
"So after my $140 budget is up she asks if she should stop cause it's hurting both of us to Keep going without a good finish. We then stay in the private dance area and talk for another 15 mins"
Are you paying LD prices for the 15 minutes of talk or not or did the clock end and no bouncer came by to kick you out of VIP? Did she just rip you off? No stripper is allowed to talk in VIP with me. No cuddling, no back rubs, no air dances, no talking unless its 1 or 2 sentence jokes to keep the mood up when kissing. Talking is for free on the main floor, never in VIP.
"or so just telling me she would like to become a massage therapist"
Massage therapist is a often another job as a sex worker.
"and she would need someone to work on to rack up the hours."
OTC?
"She then massages my hands and throws out little various compliments toward me."
This is now SS to keep you spending.
"We both get up and she follows near the exit and says if I ever need to talk or vent that I could text her anytime."
Could be just a nice stripper, or knows BF hustle works on you, or knows you are stupid enough to pay to talk in VIP.
"I say I honestly would like to take you out for coffee or drinks just to hang out and she says ya we could do something soon. She then tells me she's not really a big texter so if she dont reply that same day she ain't blowing me off. She seems genuine and seems to work outside the club a lot. Is there more to this ?"
Play along aslong as you aren't spending more than a tiny amount of $ on her, if she talks about OTC, then ghosts you, or flakes out, or ghosts you until she is at work at the SC, then texts you to goto the SC, you are being played. If she offers what she offered the 1s time ITC, again, ITC, same price and same services, I'd stick with her aslong as possible, even if its just ITC. If ITC sucks, challenge her to OTC, DO NOT let her convert flaked out OTC attempts to "come to the club", say you can't make it or your schedule or some other BS. You can still goto the SC, if she confronts you, say things changed and you came to the club, but DONT spend on her ITC unless she will perform.
Strip club stories like yours are as common as g-strings in a srip-club & 99% of the time it's just a hustle no matter how good or real it may appear.
Strippers are salespeople, salespeople are often gonna do what what they need to do to make that sale o/w they don't make any $$$ (& some salespeople are willine to go farther than others).
Believe us, stories like yours of newbie custies thinking a dancer is into them is a commom-occurrence & it rarely if ever is it genuine on the dancer's part.
Get your head out of your ass - she is willing to fuck you the 1st time she meets you in a club (and bareback) but can't meet you for coffee, that doesn't make sense if you are honest w/ yourself & stop thinking w/ your dick - she's a sex worker & everything she does related to the strip-club & customers is for $$$ - it's what they all do, it's their nature, it's THEIR JOB - and you would not want to date a stripper anyway, you don't know what you're getting into, it wont be "romance", it's often big-time drama (and even if they do see you outside the club it's offen business from their POV).
You are just in-lust even if you think you're feelings are real - when dealing w/ strippers is best to assume it's not real & enjoy it for what it is, and in the extremely unlikely chance she genuinely likes you then you take it from there (but it's exceedingly rare for it to be more than just busine$$).
JamesSD's prediction of 90% chance she's hustling you, is incredibly low. 99.999% you're being hustled by someone good -- she profiled you perfectly. There's absolutely nothing, and I mean NOTHING, in your story that indicates anything beyond good hustle.
Igoham-->" I am a used car dealer by trade so I like to think I have a pretty good knack for reading people and I have a good idea when they are honest and like I said my gut is telling me she isn't playing me"
Igoham's stripper-->"She then tells me she's not really a big texter so if she dont reply that same day she ain't blowing me off."
Ah, she's not a bit texter, check. Thinking that your hustle-detector is better than a professional stripper's hustle, leads to very poor results. You're already not picking up some of her crystal-clear hustle
Not trying to give you shit, just a little tough love... there's 0 indication this is anything but textbook romance hustle from a stripper who has brilliantly profiled a customer. My own personal rule is, if she's not spending time with me outside the club, for free, I'm absolutely positively just another customer, no matter what her words or my gut tell me; if we're spending some time outside the club for free, I'm likely among her favorite customers. If we're having sex for free, then I've passed customer status -- that's the only way to tell.
The stripper seems to be pulling the classic string-a-along on an unsuspecting pretty-much clueless PL (which is what most of us pretty-much are when new to strip-clubs)
@ppwh yes I totally agree she's a rebound chick but my goal is to be like I said possibly fwb she's much hotter than girls I'm used to chatting with it hanging with. As far as the diseased whore ya I'm guilty of asking her right after we was finished and then again in a text message but she seemed as worried as I was about it and pretty much assured me that she understands why I keep asking her that. As far as we couldn't do what we did last time she said we could get in really big trouble and it was just too many people around this time but that she wishes we could.
@s88 so I mean as far as sc boyfriend I guess I wouldn't really be ok with that unless she actually wants to give me and dance and not my wallet. I would be ok with if she just tells me she was hustling me. Ya shes feeding me the reason I didn't want to meet you before OTC is after talking she figured out I'm not there just hoping to smash any ass I could get. I'm sure there's some that use that line a lot. What I meant by no touching was she didn't jerk me but I was allowed to touch pretty much anything I wanted. So there is no problem there. The watchingher dance thing she said she needed a wingman if you will and a honest opinion on what she is doing wrong cause she doesn't have many pole tricks. She said you don't even have to throw any money just sit right in front. The talking in the back was after we was finished and I asked how much I owed. She then said $140 but I'm pretty sure it was probably at least double because the top came off. I said we needed to get change and she just kept talking and sitting in the lap dance chairs holding me and telling me about the massage idea and she is very much into hands and we joked about her giving me a hand job (massaged my hands for 10 mins). I was already there when she texted me she was coming to the club tonight so i know for sure her night just started.
@txtittyfg what would I get out of trolling on a message board other than a waste of time? Not gonna sit here and defend car salesman cause most do suck but not all. Thanks for your input.
So it sounds like this is probably just a good hustle. Do you guys recommend waiting it out a whole week to visit her at the club or Do i text small talk or ask to meet up somewhere or Do i just text her asking where we really stand and regardless I'm still gonna come see you at work?
Classic "Mixed Signal" hustle. She's got you brain-fucked obviously still thinking about her and going back trying to find closure. I'm a simple guy. Everything's a hustle, unless everything's free.
1) if you just want a piece of ass then just enjoy the ride on her terms as long as it also works for you
2) if u seriously want to date her, then anything more than just talking w/ her at the club is usually counter-productive (strippers tend to look down on guys that visit strip-clubs & spend $$$ just to get some)
@Igoham, Maybe it's that there were too many people around on your second visit. Occasionally, the justification part is true, but when that happens it more the exception than the rule. It could also be that after your reaction to the first night, she doesn't think you are emotionally prepared for a repeat.
I suggest taking heed of what the other guys have been saying. It really stretches the limits of plausibility that a hot stripper who was right on the spot every step of the way on your first visit would react as she did in this story. Especially since she says she knows the limits during different club conditions. Also, according to your post in the other discussion, it sounds like an extras club where what you experienced was typical.
If you want to attempt FWB, I would suggest to stop going to her club. Maybe she will go for it, or maybe she will just text you to come see her at the club because she's bored. Either way, I think you would be better off using this experience as a pivot to being more confident around other women you encounter IRL. If you keep on with her, it's predictable that it will have a frustrating ending. Also, you have to figure out how much would you enjoy the "friendship" when it is likely that others will be joining the $200 club.
@papi_chullo I would be ok with any of those as long as my feelings ain't gonna get jerked around. Im coming out of a messed up relationship as it is and I just don't wanna tied up into something that isn't there such as friends, friends with benefits, or whatever this is. I mean of course I wanna smash her one more time at least but just need a better understanding of what page we on.
@ppwh when I asked I pretty much knew that it was gonna be to busy because last week there was NOBODY in the lap dance area and this time at least 3 to 4 people around. She doesn't seem like the most intelligent person in the world but I don't think she's a dummy either. Not to sound like a stalker but I was worried enough about catching something I Facebook searched her number and got her real info. I googled her and she comes from a really good military family and she seems to have no online postings for escort and what not. Yes there are some girls that will ask you for extras here but mine pretty much waited for me to bring it up.
Honestly my last relationship started when I was 18 and I never cheated but like most men occasionally flirted with some girls that would flirt with me so my confidence level is not real high and I haven't tried to pick a girl up in so long that's it's like I don't even remember how lol.
A strip club is *not* the place to find a GF or someone to date - it is a *business* and the girls are there for one thing & one thing only, to make $$$, o/ w they wouldn't be there - if you are looking for "honesty" you are def looking in the wrong place my friend - strip-clubs offer certain things but honesty is not one of them
As strippers go, she sounds like the kind most guys would like to run into.
A strip club is really not the place to go if you're not wanting to be led on emotionally. That's kind of what they specialize in. If you want it to be anything other than a stripper with you as her customer, you need to eliminate the other possibilities. Just like any woman, you can expect her to test you to figure out what you're actually looking for / will settle for. In most cases, the end of the stripper/customer relationship is the end of the relationship entirely.
If you're trying this hard to convince yourself how big of a whore she isn't, that's a sign. If you want a regular girl, then find one of those. It's likely that she is doing what she's doing on the DL in a club to avoid the kind of visibility you were searching for.
If you ended up with three extras girls in a row as a newb, I would consider that as a pretty sure indicator that it is an extras club. ;)
Thanks for all the comments guys. I get that sc are not where you go to find real relationships. I was just getting out of such a bad one within the last few weeks that I just felt it might be a good place to let loose and have a little fun but what I ended up with Is a bit more than I'm really ready for but what Im getting to is I don't wanna pass up a good thing if it's there but I don't wanna be led into something that ain't.
Not in a row but all in one night. I do have a terrible gambling problem $300-$400 a few times a week so not saying that's ok but after what got for $200 I feel like a fool gambling lol. So basically I'm ok going to a sc and spending a decent amount.
Yeah, I never got the point of gambling. It's easy for SCing to get out of hand, too, though. It sounds like you got pretty lucky your first time out for your formative experience to be a girl who would stop you at $140 to not feel like she was exploiting you.
The problem with SCing comes when e.g., you think of $200 as offering your ideal experience and then spending $200 on dancer after dancer if the first one wasn't the jackpot, hoping to find what you were looking for. Kind of like when you keep doubling your bet to make up for what you just lost.
It sounds like you got lucky this time, but that kind of luck never seems to hold. The thing about spending increasing amounts of money in the club is that it just identifies you as a bigger mark, which gets you further from your goal by attracting sharks.
"@ppwh when I asked I pretty much knew that it was gonna be to busy because last week there was NOBODY in the lap dance area and this time at least 3 to 4 people around. She doesn't seem like the most intelligent person in the world but I don't think she's a dummy either. Not to sound like a stalker but I was worried enough about catching something I Facebook searched her number and got her real info. I googled her and she comes from a really good military family and she seems to have no online postings for escort and what not. Yes there are some girls that will ask you for extras here but mine pretty much waited for me to bring it up."
Due to your age and her age, you probably were BF material if she met you outside the SC. I've gotten experiences like you described. The age of the stripper has always been +/- 4 months of my bday. Psychologically, in her head, she treated you like a nightclub hook up, but charged for it in the end, and by her "rules" you are excluded as a BF. These are the BEST experiences for me. Instead of buying drinks (there goes $100s of dollars for nothing) at a regular nightclub until they are too drunk to say no, then report me to the DA the next morning and goto the ER for a rape kit test, I buy lapdances. I strongly suspect your stripper was single, doesn't want a BF because he will get abusive/jealous/insane/tell her parents what she does, so she very carefully picks her boys to fuck ITC to get her regular fill of cock. You were picked, feel lucky for that 1 experience, but it was a one time/short term thing. "I dont need a BF, I get all the men I want at work in the SC when I am horny".
"Honestly my last relationship started when I was 18 and I never cheated but like most men occasionally flirted with some girls that would flirt with me so my confidence level is not real high and I haven't tried to pick a girl up in so long that's it's like I don't even remember how lol."
Egh, you sound like me, strippers are practice GFs, not wifeys. The moment they stop performing you turn off the $. I live off the high of confidence boost after landing a stripper. DFK is pretty hard to get, I always turn down FS but no kissing strippers. Getting DFK with her arm around your neck and yours around her neck is a rush like heroin. Your SC experience will help with real life women alot, how to keep conversations going, how to compliment, how to smile and smirk and act flirty.
You can't approach it that way, and besides, that turns girls off fast. You have to look at what you can give to her, rather than to trying to get affirmation from her. You are King of the World, and so girls will respond to any favor you show them.
If it were me, I would call her bluff. Tell her you really enjoyed and appreciated the first night and that if you shell out $, you do not mind shelling out $ for that type of experience. Then, tell her to pick a night that has the appropriate attendance level for you preferred activities. If the setting is right, you engage in activities akin to the first night. If conditions are not right, you will just hang out for a while to talk and then leave for a better night with the right circumstances. Or, you can suggest that she text you from the SC when the setting looks good. This way, if the conditions really were not sufficient the second time, you assure that you are there - or only shell out $ - when you can get what you want. And, if she does not agree or you do not hear from her, then you know she was full of it, or conditions (spoken or unspoken) changed, or whatever.
I once met an ATF, and our first set of dances were unbelievable. She was exactly my types looks-wise, intelligent, lots of DFK, and all over me. We met right before I was scheduled to go out of town. We exchanged numbers so we could reconnect. I came back three weeks later, and it was basically just a standard dance. She could tell that I was disappointed, and I let her that was because the quality of dancers were trending backwards (which hacked her off). I did not see her for a couple of years. We danced, and things were better than ever (much DFK and mutual O's, she asked me if I wanted to meet OTC, etc.). I reminded her of our initial meetings, and she came clean that she had a boyfriend who roped in her ITC activities. So, sometimes you never know what causes things to change for them. You may find out now, in a few years, or never.
Either way, I suggest you decide what you want, pin her down on what she wants/is willing to do and how to make that happen, and then enjoy the fruits of your labor . . . or move on.
Small update for you guys. She texted me a few hours ago just asking me how I'm doing. I replied a few times with nothing back again. If some of you is generally interested let me know and I'll keep you guys updated
@papi_chulo that's what one would assume but she hasn't responded since asking me how I'm doing. When I met her this last Thursday she mentioned she was gonna work Friday but didn't mention anything about Saturday. The other thing that runs across my mind is she is so hot that im sure there isn't any problem for her keeping busy on a Friday or Saturday so maybe I'm a Thursday night special? I have only spent about $350 on her so i don't think she's gonna consider me her best paying customer yet.
@papi_chulo thanks because this is all pretty new for me as I have only been to strip clubs roughly 10 times or so. When I ask my buddys to go I usually say let's go to the girls.
@txtittyfag seems that because I said I sell used cars I hit a nerve. Sorry but I'm not gonna drop to your level and get into a internet pissing match.
@Igoham, maybe the sugar baby thing would work out better for what you are looking for. I have never tried it myself, but with strip clubs, you can expect this kind of dollar mining to continue where she offers barely enough to keep you on the hook.
After the promotional text where she ignores your responses, I think most here know how the rest of this story goes. ;)
@ppwh maybe it would be ok for me only if I'll be able to smash once or twice more. After today sounds like there's a couple guys on here that know this feeling all to well and have given me some decent advice. So do I just not text her again until she texts me or just go to the club on the 3rd consecutive Thursday and hope she will be there?
@txtittyfag wtf is your problem BRO? I came here for advice on a situation and all you could do is muster up some shitty puns and your a internet thought guy. Wow shaking in my little pink texas boots. Grow a pair and try your bs in real life ROFL hajajajajajaj
@igoham, yeah, don't text her. If you feel like you have a good thing going on Thursdays, then go on Thursday. No discussion of anything that happened between visits is necessary.
Dealing w/ strippers is often a crapshoot & def an inexact science - them not answering texts or missing appointments w/ custies is part-and-parcel of dealing w/ many of them - some clubs have set schedules for dancers so a bit easier to know when they are there, but the practice of set schedules seems less common these days - many dancers communicate w/ regulars to let them know they'll be at the club, but don't fully expect for a dancer to be there when she told you she would be - def fext her & try to set up something just don't think when dealing w/ strippers a particular method will be reliable - sometimes things work out & offen they don't, it's the nature of the beast
^ this is true, but from a tactical perspective, I think it in this case it would be better not to text her and just go Thursday. If a guy who was on the hook starts slipping off, it's pretty sure that she will try to do something on her own without him displaying neediness. Also, it would be better if it "just happened" that they were there on the same day again or if she made her own effort to rope him in for another Thursday or other slow day. Any self-control he can muster at this point is a good thing.
For between-visit electronic interactions, there is always MFC. ;) While texting is the least favorite thing for strippers, on-line chat is what the cam girls specialize in.
Appreciate all the advice guy's but wish I had a dancers take on this. It just sucks because most signs point toward a hustle but it just don't really feel like one.
LOL - if it felt like a hustle and was so obvious, then so many custies would not fall for it yet many do and it takes them a while to finally catch on or finally admit it to themselves - there's no way to know for sure when a dancer is lying or telling the truth - at least you've gotten a heads-up here w.r.t. the usual pitfalls & how things usually shake out when dealing w/ them - only way to know for sure is to take lthe plunge & see how it goes - I'm still not sure if you wanna just do her P4P or just hook-up w/ her, or just either - she will def always take your $$$ as a custy & many will try to provide the same level of service, but if she sees you as a custy less chance of hooking-up w/ her for free
OP: the dancer is an "extras" girl and she sounds like the type who fucks any customer who is spending money. You, being a used car salesman, should be able to relate to that. Haha. And you might want to get tested for those STDs. LMFAO!
Strippers want to make you feel like you are a RICH STUD and you are THE ONLY THEY DO THIS for. Just don't be a sucker and fall for it. They're probably fucking at least a dozen guys the same way every week.
You already got the dancer's perspective from PD83. You just don't want to hear it.
In summary - she was probably attracted to you, was horny that night, but even after that still completely views you as a customer.
In strip-clubs; it seems 99% of the time it is the custy that gets emotionally attached whereas it's just business for the dancer - that seems to be the nature of the beast yet many green PLs think their dancer is the exception - LOL
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So you've met her inside the club twice and that's it, correct?
There's two ways this can go. The first: she genuinely likes you and will soon meet you outside the club. Or the more likely scenario: She wants to make you an "in the club regular" and keeps luring you back inside the club. she is either fucking anyone that has money, or she finds you "not as yucky" as the other PLs in the club and you're part of a small group of guys she's willing to fuck.
You'll have your answer, keep pressing (without being too demanding) to meet outside the club for something more like a "date" than just a romp in your bed at your residence. If she agrees, then you have dating potential, if she doesn't then accept that you're a wallet with a penis. Trust me, it's not such a bad situation, you get sex without the drama.
@sjg no I have not.
@shailynn yes only 2 times. I honestly don't know her well enough to say she is or isn't but I'm usually pretty decent at reading people and my gut tells me she's actually telling the truth. What I have picked up from her is while she's super hot she seems pretty genuine. She has mentioned to me that her day job is 45 mins away so she doesn't have tons of free time. I would be ok knowing the truth if she's trying to hustle me or if she likes me. Either way I'm ok with it as long as I we are on same page. I will still come see her at the club regardless.
@sclvr5005 I'm not trying to get to attached but if somehow we become real friends great but if we become friends with benefits even better.
Is she into you? Probably not but it doesn't hurt to try. She said soon which is a bad sign because if she was really into you but couldn't make a real date right away, she would have suggested her off day. But she didn't which is a bad sign. Though she really could mean soon. I'd ask again within the very near future. If she gives you the same line again, then she's leading you on for more dances. Don't know what hoe would fuck raw so maybe her priorities are all screwed up.
@tiburon she does have some things going on in her life that she explained to me. She moved in with her best friend (a girl) and they decided to try dating and said it was cool for a few months but now she's the one who is feeling unwanted. The bad thing is she explained to me she still lives with this person and trying to remain friends but feels very unwanted. When I seen her a few days ago she explained to me that she never has sex in the club and some story's of how her friend in college caught something and shes afraid of card's
@chell so I am ok with her being into my money cause I'm gonna meet her there again regardless but I'm just trying to figure out what her intentions really are. I would hate to ignore it if there was something more than friends inside the club.
She has also asked me to follow her on Instagram and yes it's her personal ig and she only has a few hundred followers so it's not like she's just handing it out to everyone.
Push hard to meet OTC for coffee. If she has nothing but excuses, you have your answer.
My guess is that she found you attractive in the way of a guy she would hook up for a one-nighter with at a party. Reading anything beyond that into it is probably wishful thinking. Either way, I would suggest to pick out what you want from her and try for that without settling for substitute alternatives. The calmer and less emotionally reactive you are with her, the better.
When you freaked out asking her multiple times if she was clean, that's another way of saying: All the blood had rushed out of my big head there for a minute, but now that it's back, I can't stop thinking about you as a diseased whore. I feel so dirty, say something to make it stop!
If you do end up being "friends" with her, it sounds like it could end up like with this guy:
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=4…
My advice would be to accept the rebound experience for what it was and focus your energy on other areas of your life. That way, you won't be continually distracted from dating someone you won't have these kinds of reservations about.
About interpreting statements made in the club, they generally have a three part structure:
The justification + the implied request [ the unstated reality ]
For example if a stripper says: "Just so you know, the bouncer is really instrustive tonight."
The justification is that "the bouncer is really intrusive tonight" The request is: Don't expect the dance to be like the last time I saw you [ when it was really slow and the rent was due / your breath wasn't as bad as it is tonight / etc ]
You probably won't be able to read a lie into this kind of statement, because the request part is true, and she's actually hoping you'll get the hint as opposed to being worried about whether you believe the justification part of the statement was.
"I text her a few times over the course of 4-5 days with 1 response saying she won't hang out with guys outside the club so I give up hope thinking it ain't nothing serious.she finally text me asking to hang out at the club."
You are a SC BF. Refusal to OTC (paid, unpaid, platonic, sex, whatever) means you are just another custie to her.
"I do and we actually talk for 40 mins when the club is packed."
She knows your ego is weak, or an aggressive wanna dance kills your feelings for her and any chance for a dance, so she lets you talk.
"She only dances a few times a month and is from a military fam. We both have had similar situations."
Not a career stripper. GFE is the easiest hustle for them to do/for them to play because they aren't pro-strippers. Non-career strippers can make a amateur custie melt like cotton candy for them with GFE/regular girl act. Hardcore PLs only want pussy on their dick, no talking, no kissing, no GFE, which freaks out the non-pro strippers as them being shady MFs.
"She is 21 and i am 26 she has said herself I am not the guy she expects to meet her."
You are too young to be in a SC. I get that ALL the time at one of my SCs, where I am the youngest customer ever there.
"She then ask me if I could hang out til she goes on stage cause she has stage fright but at this time it's 11 pm and already been there for a few hours."
You are respectful enough that she trusts you wont go all "so how you wanna earn it ho?" on her. No sex interest in you, but atleast you are better than gossiping with the other backstabbing pussy in the club (her coworkers).
"We then go for a dance and while it isn't as intense as last week it was good."
Explain.
"No touching or happy ending tho."
No touching? How so? That is an unforgivable sin to me. I wont say it to her face, but I ignore her from now on, and if she approaches, she never gets another $ from me. But be careful to not burn bridges by telling her why you dont spend on her or she will accuse you of calling her a ho. If she asks "why dont you want a dance?" you can answer directly that she doesn't allow touching.
"I ask if we could so something similar but she says the club is way to busy to even think about that right now."
IDK how to interpret that. She made enough $ tonight she wont do extras type stuff?
"So after my $140 budget is up she asks if she should stop cause it's hurting both of us to Keep going without a good finish. We then stay in the private dance area and talk for another 15 mins"
Are you paying LD prices for the 15 minutes of talk or not or did the clock end and no bouncer came by to kick you out of VIP? Did she just rip you off? No stripper is allowed to talk in VIP with me. No cuddling, no back rubs, no air dances, no talking unless its 1 or 2 sentence jokes to keep the mood up when kissing. Talking is for free on the main floor, never in VIP.
"or so just telling me she would like to become a massage therapist"
Massage therapist is a often another job as a sex worker.
"and she would need someone to work on to rack up the hours."
OTC?
"She then massages my hands and throws out little various compliments toward me."
This is now SS to keep you spending.
"We both get up and she follows near the exit and says if I ever need to talk or vent that I could text her anytime."
Could be just a nice stripper, or knows BF hustle works on you, or knows you are stupid enough to pay to talk in VIP.
"I say I honestly would like to take you out for coffee or drinks just to hang out and she says ya we could do something soon. She then tells me she's not really a big texter so if she dont reply that same day she ain't blowing me off. She seems genuine and seems to work outside the club a lot. Is there more to this ?"
Play along aslong as you aren't spending more than a tiny amount of $ on her, if she talks about OTC, then ghosts you, or flakes out, or ghosts you until she is at work at the SC, then texts you to goto the SC, you are being played. If she offers what she offered the 1s time ITC, again, ITC, same price and same services, I'd stick with her aslong as possible, even if its just ITC. If ITC sucks, challenge her to OTC, DO NOT let her convert flaked out OTC attempts to "come to the club", say you can't make it or your schedule or some other BS. You can still goto the SC, if she confronts you, say things changed and you came to the club, but DONT spend on her ITC unless she will perform.
Strippers are salespeople, salespeople are often gonna do what what they need to do to make that sale o/w they don't make any $$$ (& some salespeople are willine to go farther than others).
Believe us, stories like yours of newbie custies thinking a dancer is into them is a commom-occurrence & it rarely if ever is it genuine on the dancer's part.
Get your head out of your ass - she is willing to fuck you the 1st time she meets you in a club (and bareback) but can't meet you for coffee, that doesn't make sense if you are honest w/ yourself & stop thinking w/ your dick - she's a sex worker & everything she does related to the strip-club & customers is for $$$ - it's what they all do, it's their nature, it's THEIR JOB - and you would not want to date a stripper anyway, you don't know what you're getting into, it wont be "romance", it's often big-time drama (and even if they do see you outside the club it's offen business from their POV).
You are just in-lust even if you think you're feelings are real - when dealing w/ strippers is best to assume it's not real & enjoy it for what it is, and in the extremely unlikely chance she genuinely likes you then you take it from there (but it's exceedingly rare for it to be more than just busine$$).
Two last things:
1) What club did u meet hef at?
2) Hope you're not a damn troll wasting our time
Igoham-->" I am a used car dealer by trade so I like to think I have a pretty good knack for reading people and I have a good idea when they are honest and like I said my gut is telling me she isn't playing me"
Igoham's stripper-->"She then tells me she's not really a big texter so if she dont reply that same day she ain't blowing me off."
Ah, she's not a bit texter, check. Thinking that your hustle-detector is better than a professional stripper's hustle, leads to very poor results. You're already not picking up some of her crystal-clear hustle
Not trying to give you shit, just a little tough love... there's 0 indication this is anything but textbook romance hustle from a stripper who has brilliantly profiled a customer. My own personal rule is, if she's not spending time with me outside the club, for free, I'm absolutely positively just another customer, no matter what her words or my gut tell me; if we're spending some time outside the club for free, I'm likely among her favorite customers. If we're having sex for free, then I've passed customer status -- that's the only way to tell.
1) if you just want a piece of ass then just enjoy the ride on her terms as long as it also works for you
2) if u seriously want to date her, then anything more than just talking w/ her at the club is usually counter-productive (strippers tend to look down on guys that visit strip-clubs & spend $$$ just to get some)
I suggest taking heed of what the other guys have been saying. It really stretches the limits of plausibility that a hot stripper who was right on the spot every step of the way on your first visit would react as she did in this story. Especially since she says she knows the limits during different club conditions. Also, according to your post in the other discussion, it sounds like an extras club where what you experienced was typical.
If you want to attempt FWB, I would suggest to stop going to her club. Maybe she will go for it, or maybe she will just text you to come see her at the club because she's bored. Either way, I think you would be better off using this experience as a pivot to being more confident around other women you encounter IRL. If you keep on with her, it's predictable that it will have a frustrating ending. Also, you have to figure out how much would you enjoy the "friendship" when it is likely that others will be joining the $200 club.
@ppwh when I asked I pretty much knew that it was gonna be to busy because last week there was NOBODY in the lap dance area and this time at least 3 to 4 people around. She doesn't seem like the most intelligent person in the world but I don't think she's a dummy either. Not to sound like a stalker but I was worried enough about catching something I Facebook searched her number and got her real info. I googled her and she comes from a really good military family and she seems to have no online postings for escort and what not. Yes there are some girls that will ask you for extras here but mine pretty much waited for me to bring it up.
Honestly my last relationship started when I was 18 and I never cheated but like most men occasionally flirted with some girls that would flirt with me so my confidence level is not real high and I haven't tried to pick a girl up in so long that's it's like I don't even remember how lol.
As strippers go, she sounds like the kind most guys would like to run into.
A strip club is really not the place to go if you're not wanting to be led on emotionally. That's kind of what they specialize in. If you want it to be anything other than a stripper with you as her customer, you need to eliminate the other possibilities. Just like any woman, you can expect her to test you to figure out what you're actually looking for / will settle for. In most cases, the end of the stripper/customer relationship is the end of the relationship entirely.
If you're trying this hard to convince yourself how big of a whore she isn't, that's a sign. If you want a regular girl, then find one of those. It's likely that she is doing what she's doing on the DL in a club to avoid the kind of visibility you were searching for.
If you ended up with three extras girls in a row as a newb, I would consider that as a pretty sure indicator that it is an extras club. ;)
Not in a row but all in one night. I do have a terrible gambling problem $300-$400 a few times a week so not saying that's ok but after what got for $200 I feel like a fool gambling lol. So basically I'm ok going to a sc and spending a decent amount.
The problem with SCing comes when e.g., you think of $200 as offering your ideal experience and then spending $200 on dancer after dancer if the first one wasn't the jackpot, hoping to find what you were looking for. Kind of like when you keep doubling your bet to make up for what you just lost.
It sounds like you got lucky this time, but that kind of luck never seems to hold. The thing about spending increasing amounts of money in the club is that it just identifies you as a bigger mark, which gets you further from your goal by attracting sharks.
Due to your age and her age, you probably were BF material if she met you outside the SC. I've gotten experiences like you described. The age of the stripper has always been +/- 4 months of my bday. Psychologically, in her head, she treated you like a nightclub hook up, but charged for it in the end, and by her "rules" you are excluded as a BF. These are the BEST experiences for me. Instead of buying drinks (there goes $100s of dollars for nothing) at a regular nightclub until they are too drunk to say no, then report me to the DA the next morning and goto the ER for a rape kit test, I buy lapdances. I strongly suspect your stripper was single, doesn't want a BF because he will get abusive/jealous/insane/tell her parents what she does, so she very carefully picks her boys to fuck ITC to get her regular fill of cock. You were picked, feel lucky for that 1 experience, but it was a one time/short term thing. "I dont need a BF, I get all the men I want at work in the SC when I am horny".
"Honestly my last relationship started when I was 18 and I never cheated but like most men occasionally flirted with some girls that would flirt with me so my confidence level is not real high and I haven't tried to pick a girl up in so long that's it's like I don't even remember how lol."
Egh, you sound like me, strippers are practice GFs, not wifeys. The moment they stop performing you turn off the $. I live off the high of confidence boost after landing a stripper. DFK is pretty hard to get, I always turn down FS but no kissing strippers. Getting DFK with her arm around your neck and yours around her neck is a rush like heroin. Your SC experience will help with real life women alot, how to keep conversations going, how to compliment, how to smile and smirk and act flirty.
You can't approach it that way, and besides, that turns girls off fast. You have to look at what you can give to her, rather than to trying to get affirmation from her. You are King of the World, and so girls will respond to any favor you show them.
SJG
In Search of the Miraculous.Ouspensky. Ingles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvkCDucY…
I once met an ATF, and our first set of dances were unbelievable. She was exactly my types looks-wise, intelligent, lots of DFK, and all over me. We met right before I was scheduled to go out of town. We exchanged numbers so we could reconnect. I came back three weeks later, and it was basically just a standard dance. She could tell that I was disappointed, and I let her that was because the quality of dancers were trending backwards (which hacked her off). I did not see her for a couple of years. We danced, and things were better than ever (much DFK and mutual O's, she asked me if I wanted to meet OTC, etc.). I reminded her of our initial meetings, and she came clean that she had a boyfriend who roped in her ITC activities. So, sometimes you never know what causes things to change for them. You may find out now, in a few years, or never.
Either way, I suggest you decide what you want, pin her down on what she wants/is willing to do and how to make that happen, and then enjoy the fruits of your labor . . . or move on.
Best wishes.
After the promotional text where she ignores your responses, I think most here know how the rest of this story goes. ;)
For between-visit electronic interactions, there is always MFC. ;) While texting is the least favorite thing for strippers, on-line chat is what the cam girls specialize in.
Here's an example:
https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showth…
Money quote: I'm sure she loves you like my boas love the mice I feed them.
Your new level of jadedness has added a shadiness tax of 25% to your extras.
In summary - she was probably attracted to you, was horny that night, but even after that still completely views you as a customer.
Oh, and the tooth fairy is real too.