The Lazerus Syndrome

7/26/2016 11:43:18 AM

Out of the blue I get a text from my now retired ex-ATF. We sort of "dated" as we did OTC for free, but I also paid her ITC.That ended when she found her current squeeze who is supporting her. Or so she had said because, after beating around the bush she asked me about the club and said she might go back to work. So maybe it's not working out for him (no surprise as she's quite the flake).

I'm conflicted on this. I've moved on from her, yet I still get that "ping" inside about her. I do have a CF ITC who I'm quite happy with despite she doesn't do OTC with anyone. If I split my time with the ATF ITC it might cause friction. I'm sure they'll be working the same shift.

Anyone ever had an ATF come back after a while. There was no animosity between us; she became an "ex" when she quit dancing because of the b/f. Help!

36 comments

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stripfighter

•

8 years ago

The friction will be their problem, not yours. Either tell the old fave you've found a new fave or the CF you want to take a break and go back to the old.

rockie

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8 years ago

rs666: Only you can determine what works for you. If you can only handle one at a time - pick one! If the new CF is you choice, inform your former ATF that she's no longer in your rotation. Kicking her to the curb nicely can be done and if not - be more definitve.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Problem is I've known the CF about 18 years, and the ATF maybe 5. So I have history with both. My solution is to avoid the club until one texts me. It may seem wimpy on my part but I'll save some money. Or maybe they should have a combat....!!! Winner gets my business!

mikeya02

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8 years ago

^^^ the winner gets you first...and third ...and fifth

twentyfive

•

8 years ago

Or you could arrange OTC with the ATF and ITC with the new one and maybe go there on a shift when only one is working I'm sure you can figure it out if you want both.

JamesSD

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8 years ago

Isn't this an old story? Dancer leaves the club for a guy, it doesn't work out. Maybe she comes back in a year or two and discovers half her regulars have moved on, and she's a year older and 15 pounds heavier.

It's your money, do what you want.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

@James She only weighed 100 pounds then....15 would be a lot! LOL. She actually got fat a couple years ago but then took the weight off. I have no idea what she looks like now as I haven't seen her since last summer.

Papi_Chulo

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8 years ago

Fuck her in the pussy

Nobody ever said love was easy

:)

Papi_Chulo

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8 years ago

Your dilemma is understandable being that you have a history w/ them - but sometimes we need to rub our PL eyes to see things more clearly in that at the end of the day these girls are w/ us when it's convenient to them and will dump us in the blink of an eye when it's convenient to them - it's the nature of the SC beast - there aren't nor should there be any loyalties, IMO.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

The CF isn't there yet and I'm clubbing Friday. The women aren't friends so my CF won't know about this unless the ATF is there by then. I'll update this thread if/when something happens.

ppwh

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8 years ago

I had a similar situation come up a while back. ATF returned after 5 or 6 months. The "other woman" was a cute, younger ex-CF who I was on good terms with and would still would chat with sometimes and stage tip. The returning ATF went into a jealous rage after the ex-CF hugged me during a stage tip and ditched me as we were walking to the couch dance room to talk to another guy.

Being friendly with this same ex-CF has resulted in similar drama with others, too, so I have since backed off quite a bit.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

This will be weird. The ATF messaged again and it seems she'll be starting soon. I was just, finally, over her and here we go again. We men are pathetic.

ppwh

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8 years ago

^ Chin up, man! It's just as likely that time will have treated her badly and you will hesitate to even stage tip her to honor your past relationship. At the very least, it's customary for a returning ATF to push for all those things you wished might have happened last time around.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Ah....we're too close for a stage snub to be poignant. We will have to talk.

ppwh

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8 years ago

What I was meaning to say was that a lot can change in a relatively short time. The last time I saw that returning ATF, she was a shadow of her former self. She used to radiate confidence and beauty, and the experience of just sitting by her was awesome. She was the prom queen of the club. A couple of years later, she had the look of desperation and resignation.

Going out on a limb, but you still have at least the same cash flow as when you knew her before, right?

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Same cash flow, which was very insignificant as I never paid her very much compared to her whales. While she wasn't into me like I was her, we hung out OTC so I know she liked me for company, at least until her current (or ex?) squeeze came along. I have no idea where she is now, but the fact she texted me wasn't based on money. She'd make more on welfare than from what I paid her OTC let alone ITC.

ppwh

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8 years ago

^ I'm hoping to have this kind of problem soon. :-)

Papi_Chulo

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8 years ago

It is what it is dude - I think we all perk-up when a dancer we like texts us especially if we have not heard from them for a while - resistance is futile.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Papi is wise. I know I'm in BIG trouble as I still can't get past the ATF. Plus my g/f seems to be distant...so I feel like I'm available for a dancer to take all my money again.

Papi_Chulo

•

8 years ago

^ exquisite PL rationalization IMO; we look for any and all ways why this can and should work

:)

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Oh Papi, I'm well aware it's not going to work. We didn't move in together last time and that's not likely to change. It's going to crash and burn. Luckily as Lazerus it's not an unknown destiny for me. I'll move on eventually, but for now it's a roller coaster unless I miss my guess.

ppwh

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8 years ago

You guys might be overthinking it. Why not just enjoy having "the upper hand" for a few days? ;)

lopaw

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8 years ago

ppwh makes total sense. You know that in this case you really can't have your cake and eat it too as long as they both are on the same shift at the same club. They will each make your life miserable ITC (and OTC too).

I say have 'em put on the gloves and duke it out. Winner gets you!

Papi_Chulo

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8 years ago

suggest a 3-some

:)

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Lowpaw, that's what I already suggested! LOL While it makes for a good Bond movie, it's not really a very practical solution as I seriously doubt either would really fight for me, much to my dismay. Maybe a few rounds of Rock Paper Scissors?

Push come to shove, the fact the CF never allowed OTC while the ex-ATF did kind of settles it if it comes down to it.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Papi: Nice idea, but while the ATF is bi/lesbian, the CF is hopelessly heterosexual.

Papi_Chulo

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8 years ago

I was thinking of them tag-teaming you not each other (which is how I like it)

ppwh

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8 years ago

You might be surprised. If you give your CF a heads up that an old friend has announced her return, she might suddenly become more flexible. Or not, but at least you would end up with your ATF's company and the knowledge that your CF was definitely not up for what you are looking for.

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Well...frankly I don't see it with these two. But I'll keep my options open. Friday might be fun depending.

ppwh

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8 years ago

^ humility is awesome, but so is self-respect.

RossVa

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8 years ago

you've known one of them 18 years and the other 5 years? How old are these girls now, and how old are you? In what context have you known them?

rockstar666

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8 years ago

Both I met as dancers in the club. I'm 57, the 5 year is my ex ATF and she'll be 29 next month. The veteran is 44. She isn't an OTC candidate but we're like FWB with limited benefits. The ex-ATF has done OTC and we'd hang out as friends too. But she was never in to me as a LTR and is now on her 4th live in b/f, who was supporting her. Since she needs to dance, something must have changed.

san_jose_guy

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8 years ago

Girl in college I saw my first year. Relationship went bad and left me with bad feelings about her. But I forgot.

4th year, crossed paths with her again, started seeing her. First down turn, all those negative feelings about her came right back to my memory. It also went badly.

Some girls, some people, they just aren't straight with people. And lots of girls make up ways to trash guys, just to protect their own feelings.

So I suggest looking at how you feel, and at what you really want. Why do you see them ITC, when you could spend more time with them OTC. Probably it is to prevent a relationship from developing?

Anyway, in the organization I am building, all these kinds of problems will simply dissipate.

SJG

rockstar666

•

8 years ago

LOL - SJGuy: Unless you're here, I'd keep the five cent psychotherapy to yourself. I don't want a relationship with ANYONE.

SJGay: Just goes to show gay people and straight people are really mostly the same. Fuck Trump.

san_jose_guy

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8 years ago

Rockstar, I'm just telling you what comes across in your posts on this thread. And it sounds like you've confirmed this. So for better or for worse, that is what is driving the situations you're describing.

Most of the time, guys don't pay women for sex, as that is not necessary. They pay them to stay away.

SJG

rockstar666

•

8 years ago

Well, I went to the club and my CF was especially affectionate and effective (*S*) even though the ex-ATF was not there. I didn't mention her and neither did she, but reading between the lines maybe she heard what I did and the CF wants to stake her claim. Or maybe I'm nuts since I'm small potatoes in the big picture...but any time I have to clean up is what I consider a superior visit!

I'm sure the ATF will text me if/when she starts work so for now, everything is still in limbo as far as that goes. But I might have a new ATF after this evening if she's going to get the job done like she did! All I can say is...wow.

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