Funniest thing happened to see in strip club

I ran into my ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend in a strip club once. He didn't remember me, I just moved to the other side of the club and watched him clubbing.

I saw a midget customer not watch where he was going and walked right into another customers crotch.

Funniest?

(I apologize in advance for the story's length ....)

I used to club with my half-brother's half-brother's baby momma (or is that an ex-step brother's baby momma)? I guess that sounds kind of trailer park-ish or it sounds like something off of the Jerry Springer show. But she was bi-sexual and quite the monger herself. We were both in our early twenties and this was back before all the free internet porn video we have today. So she was used to lots of free attention from dancers (lesbian stuff was rare to see in person, so when she and a dancer got floor dances and the two made out, it would often get the other PLs to spend since that wasn't something you saw every day. Often she'd get dances for free or she's just pay for the first one, and the dancer would keep going). Other guys would tip the dancer just creep on them at watch during the lesbian dances. So she was used to getting her way in the club.


STORY:


--> One night she and I were going to the club and a door man who was a 400 pound black guy stopped us.


DOOR GUY: I'm sorry I can't let 'youse in here.

HER: WHY?

DOOR GUY: 'Cause youse probably a hooker or working girl and you ain't allowed in.

HER: Look, I brought my guy friend, I've been here before so let me the fuck in.

DOOR GUY: How do I know he's not 'yo pimp?

--> (WTF??!? By now she's got a furrowed brow and she's pissed.)

HER: (to me): Did you hear what he said? Are you going to take that?

--> (She's got her arms crossed, glances me up and down from head to toe then nods over to him, suggesting that I defend her honor.)

ME: (to her): I dunno. (Smile sarcastically, sarastic tone, brief laugh)

ME: (to her): According to him, I'm your pimp. So I should probably smack a bitch for talking out of line.

DOOR GUY: (belly laughs): 'Aight. I'm just messin' with joose. I'll let you guys in. Sorry about 'dat. No cover. No hard feelings I hope.

HER: (laughs, arms crossed, walks in): Asshole!


--> I'm relieved to read that stories like this don't appear to happen to other female mongers, like lopaw. It was pretty demeaning. .. but still a little funny (dark humor) if you can step back and and not take it too seriously. Often women are judged harshly or unfairly and not given due respect. Thinking back, I'm not sure if she was calling me the asshole or the door guy. I think it was a little of both ....

I am glad the doorguy didn't slap you silly.

Tipped a restroom attendant a 2 oz liquor sample. He told me to wait a second, and gave some kind of signal. 2 seconds later I was alone in a stall with a hot ass server in front of me. Not my style. Maybe we'll get a room sometime.

Saw a couple once sitting at the tip rail. She put her feet on the edge of the stage while sitting on her BF's lap and he proceeded to push down her pants and pull up her shirt and go for it. She had her hand behind her and had his pants undone. This all at the tip rail! One of the dancers on stage went back stage to tell the bouncers what was going on. The bouncers converged and told them to get dressed and leave. They refused! Then 4 bouncers each grabbed her leg or arm and carried her outside with her huge ass hanging out since her pants were half way to her knees. Two others then stood the boyfriend up grabbed him by the belt so his pants would not fall and frog marched him out. The took her outside and put her down bare-ass onto a snow bank(it was January in northern Ohio). (one of the bouncers told us and that the she stunk like a skunk) The guy was escorted to the door to retrieve their coats and deposited outside (standing up holding up his pants.)
That was one of the funniest thing I have ever seen although she was not funny to look at as she was just plain fugly.

Funny stories.

One i saw happen once was some dude walked out of the club when I was in the parking lot. He was messed up on something other than alcohol. He kept trying all his keys on all the car doors because he couldn't tell which one was his. He finally got a car door to open. He hopped in and started trying all the keys in the ignition. None worked. The real owner of the car came out and they got into a fight

Funny story, Dominic77 ("youse".....immediately thought of My Cousin Vinny). No that has never happened to me. I pity the fool that tries to get between me and my stripclub! :D

I felt a guy's crotch and said wow, you're huge! Must be 10 or more inches, he was all embarrassed, said no, it was more like 6" but just seemed a lot bigger. I said no way, I'm a stripper and I've seen em all sizes, and I can tell. He got even redder, and said I was right, but that he didn't like to say so because women were afraid to sleep with him. I said he was the first man in history to lie the other way! I told him I needed to see it and judge for myself, took him to the back and it was every inch of 12. I gave him a freebie on the spot. He became an otc regular, one of the few I've had who could routinely make me pass out from the intensity of my o's.

I was eating a hot dog from one of the food trucks outside a club a couple weeks ago, and eventually spilled ketchup and mustard on my groin. After cleaning up and getting a drink at the bar, one of the dancers came up to me and chatted me up. After a minute she looked down at my pants and said "i guess you want be needing any dances!"

We laughed because it looked like I had a silver dollar splooge on my khakis.

I saw a guy "makin' it rain." He looked ridiculous.