Has anything like this ever happened to you?

Jul 3, 2016, 3:33 PM

Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.

So I was stuck in traffic leaving Charlotte. It wasn't moving at one point so I decided to kill time streaming porn, figured it would make the grid lock bearable. Before I knew it traffic was moving along.

So I'm a little horny and I know I'll be hitting Columbia in a little over an hour. So driving down the 77 , and my dick is really really just wanting some release, already passed Rock Hill so I pretty much gotta wait till I get to Columbia to LDK which I'm fckn know I'm going to right away.

Still my dick is bugg'n so I thought maybe I'll just play with it a little bit and it'll calm down. Long story short , serviced myself to completion driving down a pretty empty freeway...turned out to be one of the best self service nut I ever had, fckn messy, had water and napkins on the car thank god.

Oh then totally by passed the club and went straight home.

comments (11)

Jump to latest

TravelingGolfer9 years ago

Dude, pull the fucking car over next time. That's no way to go out. You don't want your obituary being front page news for being a perv. Or worse, survive and make the news for being the guy causing a wreck while speeding down the highway and jacking off. Be safe bro.

JohnSmith699 years ago

I did that sort of stuff when I was younger. You do what you gotta do, and sometimes that means Rosie. But now I just keep a cute young redhead with me to take care of things like that. Like the one I'm with in paradise right now.

Papi_Chulo9 years ago

Yeah - sometimes it's best to "diffuse" the situation.

I'm not a good driver to begin w/ thus I pretty-much completely avoid the distraction of the cell-phone while I'm driving - I'll often pull-over if I need to engage in a call that can't wait - so no porn-streaming for me while on the road but have def hit the SC on a few occasions b/c I've been looking at porn on my laptop and then just had to go - but other times I'm either too tired or don't feel like going or just can't wait and will just slap the monkey to "diffuse" the situation.

ppwh9 years ago

Winning!

GACA made a pimp decision on I-77.

youtube.com

JamesSD9 years ago

Well you did save yourself some cash!

crazyjoe9 years ago

Dangerous but good

Tiburon9 years ago

....no. Never. I would NEVER play with myslef....unless the girl asks me to wiggle it in front of her mouth. While you're driving bro? Did you service yourself so good you almost crashed your....economy car? (wow that sounded bad)

Shylynn9 years ago

Most retarded people have this compulsive disorder.

shadowcat9 years ago

From my understanding of the strip club scene in Columbia now, you probably did save yourself time and money but you should have pulled over to pull it off.

chukko9 years ago

I'm guilty of doing this a time or two.

Imamutt9 years ago

Yeah, a few times when I was younger. The dynamics of the mental challenge to focus on both tasks at the same time is a rush.