Awkward Club Experiences
Kaffeesatz
Illinois
What's your most awkward experience at a strip club?
I'll share mine to get the ball rolling....
A cute dancer approaches and does the usual sit-in-the-lap to say hello routine. She makes small talk for a bit, and then pops the question...
"Do you want a private dance?"
"No, thanks, I'll pass, but I do appreciate you stopping by"
"Why don't you want a dance? Am I not pretty enough?"
"No, you're very pretty, I just can't"
"You can't? Why not? Just give me a reason!"
"You look exactly like my daughter..."
"No, I don't, that's just an excuse, you're lying"
So I pull out my phone, scroll through a few pictures, and then turn the screen so she can see my daughter.
Her eyes go wide, she claps a hand over her mouth, leaps to her feet.
"Oh, my god! I'm so sorry! That's so weird! She looks like my twin! Sorry, I gotta go!"
And she turned and fled across the club, wobbling in her 6" Lucite heels, never to approach me again.
I'll share mine to get the ball rolling....
A cute dancer approaches and does the usual sit-in-the-lap to say hello routine. She makes small talk for a bit, and then pops the question...
"Do you want a private dance?"
"No, thanks, I'll pass, but I do appreciate you stopping by"
"Why don't you want a dance? Am I not pretty enough?"
"No, you're very pretty, I just can't"
"You can't? Why not? Just give me a reason!"
"You look exactly like my daughter..."
"No, I don't, that's just an excuse, you're lying"
So I pull out my phone, scroll through a few pictures, and then turn the screen so she can see my daughter.
Her eyes go wide, she claps a hand over her mouth, leaps to her feet.
"Oh, my god! I'm so sorry! That's so weird! She looks like my twin! Sorry, I gotta go!"
And she turned and fled across the club, wobbling in her 6" Lucite heels, never to approach me again.
29 comments
There was this semi cute but awkward dancer thy worked at a Detroit club. She sat down and blurted outc "I've seen you in here before," (and told me the exact dates which were months ago) "and I have a major crush on you." Great but she wasn't my type at all and I tried to subtly get rid of her but it didn't work. She stayed and we chatted and she actually was a cool girl, I just had zero attraction. The shot girl came by and tried to force me to buy her a shot, but this dancer was not allowed to drink because she was on probation. I tried to shoo off the shot girl without "outing" the dancer but she was so persistent eventually I just had to tell her off. Everything's going great right?
Out of pity I took the dancer up for a 2 song dance and a tried to make the best of it. My hand brushed hear her crotch and she said "wait I'm on my period" but I can do other things to you. Mind you I wasn't trying to stick my fingers down her g-string.
She giggled and stared into my eyes the entire time and fumbled because she was so nervous. To make matters worse she had a BO smell because she forgot to put deodorant on (my words not hers). At the end of the 2 dances she said "that's the most horrible job I've ever done and I'm sorry, I'm not goi to charge you." I told her "time is money" and paid her anyway. After that she left me alone the rest of the night and I have never seen her again.
This was a high tier club and she had no business working there to begin with.
It goes to prove being polite doesn't always pay off.
SJG
King Crimson - Live in Hyde Park (1969) - Complete Performance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiA_q-Kf…
Somewhat related, but sometimes I'll see a girl on stage who is hot and I go to tip her, but when I hear her speak I literally get so turned off that I end up hoping she doesn't stop by my table when finished on stage. If she does make her way over, I somehow have to wiggle out of the message I'm sending of tipping her on stage, but not wanting to talk further, let alone go to VIP.
When the song was over i didnt know what to do and said sure i would take another dance, how do you say no to a dancer crying in your lap. I eventually got 4 dances from her and she inflated her count on me at the end but i was happy that ride was over and just paid her.
Probably the most awkward thing that has ever happened was when a dancer farted during our dance. Thank God it wasn't stinky but she was mortified and I tried to play it off but she knew that I knew so game over.
Probably walking back to the private dance area to see if a favorite was dancing for a customer tops my list.
Waiting longer than I should in an empty club during the day shift right after opening is another.
In general, being a customer at a showclub is simply awkward in itself.
I think there is something wrong with me but oh well at least I am not harming anyone with my favorite hobby.
I agree to a two for $x and we had two good dances. She was doing that hot air blow through the pants move at the end of the second dance when I noticed unusual warmth and wetness. She had taken me out and was sucking me. (She had never done this before and we had not dicsussed the possibility.). She kept at it and positioned herself where I could finger her. Another dancer came in and said quite loudly, "For God sakes XXXX, you have to go to VIP for that." So, she stops as I am on the brink and then zips me up. A few seconds later a bouncer comes in and checks out the situation, having heard the other girl I assume.
I have no idea what the protocol is at that point. Am I supposed to get up and leave the lap dance area. Should I take off totally. Do we keep dancing with normal lap dance room rules. She looks at me and just laughs after the bouncer leaves and says, "Thanks YYYY for outing me so loudly. Next time go make an announcement from the DJ booth." The other girl laughs and apologizes and offers to stand guard after her one dance is over. I still have no idea what I should do. My dancer says, I owe you a finish. So, letting the little head do my thinking, I let her pull me out and finish. I don't last another song and she makes a big point of swallowing and tells me that she has to get rid of the evidence.
I am still in a "what the fuck just happened daze" when she goes out and sits with another customer and I take my original seat two tables away from them. They appear to know each other and exchange a hug and quick kiss. So, now I add to the awkwardness by knowing she is now kissing a guy after swallowing my cum and not going back to the dressing room. At this point I just leave, left to ponder the surreal last twenty minutes of my life.
VIP was going great, lots of two way touching, I finally got to play with her pussy, so naturally I take out the dick. She says "what are you doing? You can't do that!" Huh? I do that here every visit I think. I put my junk away and the rest of the dance is as awkward as you'd imagine. I give here a good tip and I never see her again. I don't know if she moved, retired, or what. I don't see here at any of the clubs in town ever again.
I had a late dinner close to 11 pm and then went to Tootsies – I guess getting LDs while digestion is in full-effect may have its issues.
I was sitting on the vinyl bench-seat of the semi-open lap-dance booth getting a dance from a Puerto Rican with a HUGE ass (black-brickhouse sized ass although she was white-Latin but w/ naturally tanned skin) – she is standing in front of me bending-over showing me her HUGE ass - I was sitting back in the seat kinda in a reclined position and went to sit-up so I could burry my PL-face in her HUGE ass – as I am sitting up my butt kinda loses contact w/ the seat a bit and out of nowhere there was an audible fart – LOL – she’d had to have heard-it but didn’t say anything – at least it was a benign fart in that it didn’t stink (kinda like trapped air I guess) – but anyway as soon as that happened I kinda laughed inside thinking of this thread – LOL.
It could have been worse. What if SHE had fart while you had your face buried in her massive ass?