So since my CF hasn't communicated with me in 2 weeks I went searching for new fish. I went to a club an hour away. I have found 2 dancers there that I am very interested in. I would call one a "9" and the other is a solid 8. They both give very good dances but the 8 seems to give just a little better dance. I have seen them both 2 times now when the other isn't there. One usually works days and leaves about 7pm. The other usually doesn't come in until after 8. Well the day girl said she is going to start working nights. I like them both. Do I personally tell them that I also come to see the other or how would you guys handle it? I want to keep options open with both but don't know how jealous they will get or don't want them both to get upset and not have either come over to me.
Even while they might be competing for your money don't ignore the fact that they might also compare notes about you or make stuff up about you or what you say in order to sabotage the other's relationship with you. Bottom line is there is no absolute answer regarding how to handle it, it depends on what they're really like away from you and how they interact with each other.
The way I DON'T handle it: sneak around like a polecat as if I'm doing something wrong .. for example, specifically timing all my visits when one or the other girls isn't there, so I never have to address it.
For me, the best way I've found to handle these types of situations is: transparency. When the day girl told me she'd be moving to nights, I'd be like, "Oh! I have a girl I've been seeing at nights ... I like you better but I'll have to still give her some love too, ok?" (or whatever). I'd do the same with the night girl, "You won't believe it, the girl I've been seeing during dayshift is moving to nights... you're my night girl but I have to give her some love too" (or whatever). I don't know if I'd word it exactly like that, but I'd be smiling and laughing as I said it, and not act as if I'm doing anything wrong (since I"m not).
They are not going to both get upset and not come over to you, as long as you politely and casually lay down the law for them -- they will both be seeing you, that's the way it is. If you passive-aggressive your way through in a cowardly manner, and let them just fight over you, someone or other's feelings might get hurt, that's when it's more likely the girls will get butthurt. Never let the girls set the rules as far as who gets your money, and you'll be fine.
You are a breathing ATM. The only time I've met a dancer that got upset about me getting dances for someone else. Was because she said that dancer recently had an STD and she didn't want me to get it and give it to her. LOL
Subraman gamed it out once in a post I will look for it tomorrow and send it to you in a PM if I can find it, or maybe you will get him posting on this thread. The gist of it was he makes an appointment to see one and even if the other is there she knows he's going to see the first one, the next visit he sees the other one its a bit confusing but it makes sense the way he laid it out.
@Subra...it seems if I tell both girls I like them better but have to show the other love I am sure they will compare notes on that and know I was lying to one of them
@Jayhawk you can only mess it up if you give a shit, which you do. Strippers no matter how lovely they look, negative self image. If you come with a positive stronger sense of self (they need you more than you need them attitude ) then you can't lose. Are you gonna get both of them to take your money, yes... are they both gonna keep sticking around, depends on how much you're spending.
-->".it seems if I tell both girls I like them better but have to show the other love I am sure they will compare notes on that and know I was lying to one of them"
Jay, if you're uncomfortable with that, and your imagination is running wild with fears that you'll be the topic of conversation between them and they'll be recounting word-for-word what you told them, then just leave out the "I like you better" part. In fact, you don't have to word it remotely like I did -- the main points: 1. be confident and transparent, 2. lay down your rules as to how you'll be spending your money, 3. if you handle it with confidence neither girl will abandon you, if you handle it like a bitch you could get them both disgusted
I think in the post twentyfive was talking about, I spoke about how I handle it when it when I HAVEN'T pre-set their expectations. Once I showed up to the club and old-fave was there, but I'd already made an appointment with new-fave. When old fave came up, I hugged her, gave her a big friendly hello, caught up with her for 20 seconds, then told her, "hey, I'm here to see Porsche today, I'll catch you another time, ok?" and that was that. No drama, no sneaking around. Not be scared of the dancers can make your entire trip be way more fun!
Jayhawk, you ask some seriously rookie questions on here and that's okay - we are hear to help, and eat Chackin Fangers.
I know you're thinking you'll piss both of them off and neither will want to hang with you. That is simply not true, as long as you are paying they and don't throw up on them, they will both still hang with you.
I've been banging this chick for a good while but only ITC. She charges me too much but that's okay. My last visit I passed her up, blew her off and roamed the club trying to find something new. She got all upset, and sure enough when I didn't find anything better she was willing, ready and able when I came to her. I'd like to think it was because my oral skills are so good, but I'm willing to bet it was because I was getting ready to hand her a handful of money. When she asked "why did I blow her off," I told her, "I had a bad day at work, and just wanted to watch the end of this basketball game by myself before I got fucked." You can always find a decent excuse.
I still go to the same club that this happened to me. I blew off a girl who was doing OTC.
I just didn't want to see her that day. I bought dances from a different girl that day.
I got a text after I got home. She told me to never contact her again.
So, some girls get psycho and possessive. Some girls are cool and don't care who you spend your money with.
I've had four strong favorites at one club, and they all work night shift -- free girl, video girl, GingerBread, and DS III. And I also fuck all four of them OTC as well as committing various naughty sexual acts with them ITC. DS III has since switched clubs but the other three are still at the same place. So I've learned how to handle this.
Most important, you must be strong, confident and in control. Don't put up with bullshit and stupid drama. Be a man and take control. But be a gentle and kind leader. Basically what I do is show them all love. I try to see them all each night but sometimes that's not possible. If so I make it up to the ones that I missed the next time. It's like buying presents for multiple kids at Christmas. You love them all equally, and you try your best to buy them all comparable presents so nobody feels unloved. Do the same with your strippers. Over several visits, spend roughly the same amount of time and money on each. Be clear in your words and actions that they are both important to you, and you don't have any favorite between them. Be clear that the only way they will likely lose your business is to be selfish and jealous.
I wouldn't do comparisons. I wouldn't say that I like you better. Instead I'd say to each one that I really enjoy being with you, and you give great lap dances. I want to keep doing this with you. But I also enjoy getting dances from X, so while you're with other customers I'm also going to be getting dances from her as well. Unless they are new, immature, or stupid, they will be fine with this.
If a dancer bitches about this like video girl has to me, then here is what I say. "You dance for other customers, so naturally Im going to dance with other strippers. That's one of the reasons that I love strip clubs, because everybody can have fun with everybody without petty jealousy." This shuts them up. Of course they dance for lots of other guys, so how they fuck could they bitch when you dance with other strippers?
I would never make an appointment with just one of them. Instead, Id text both and tell them that you look forward to seeing them. If you've done what I said above, they will understand that this means that you're coming to see them and whatever other dancers you want to see.
In its ideal form, which I hopefully have now achieved with these girls, they interact with each other and me. Sometimes two of them sit with me at the same time, and we get along great. At any point I can tell video girl that I'm going to go do a VIP with free girl, but that I'll do the same with her later that night or next time. She knows that I'll keep my word, that I'll spend roughly the same on her as the others, and that she'll really piss me off if she complains. So she hugs me and goes fishing elsewhere while I play with free girl. On the way to VIP, we might both stop and talk to GingerBread for a couple of minutes. GB knows I adore her red haired pussy so she's not worried about losing me to free girl. We all get along. This took a while but it now works well most of the time.
I realize that there might be competitive drama behind the scenes. But if so they know that I won't be drawn into it so they leave me out of it. If one of them tries to tell me something bad about the other, I stop them them mid-sentence. I tell them that I never get involved in dancer drama, that I wish they could get along but that I can't be drawn into their conflicts. I tell them that I love them all equally, that I want to play with all of them, and that I can't play favorites or get involved in their differences. Say these words, and then mean and live these words.
If and when one of them ever gets out of line in the future, I just gently but firmly remind them of what I said before. I make it clear that I love playing with them and want to continue, but I'm also going to play with other dancers just like they dance for other customers. If a dancer can't get with his program, dump her. She's not worth it. Or at least make it clear that she will not get any more of your money if she doesn't grow up.
This gets more complicated when you fuck them ITC and OTC. They want to know if the other girls do the same things that they do, and they want to know what you pay the other girls. My answer is always the same. I tell them that I promise every stripper complete confidentiality, and I'm a man of my word. I will never tell anyone about what any dancer does with me, including her. That's the way each of the dancers wants it, that's the way I want it, and that's the way it must be. Consistently refuse to say anything about these issues ever. Not one word. If you ever open the door to the topic, you won't be able to close it.
Note that as others have said this ambiguity can work in your favor. When dancers compete for your business, it's a good thing. She doesn't know if the other girl swallows your cum. So she swallows for you just in case, so you don't go to the other girl for her oral skills. Or she is hesitant to ask for more money from you because she knows that the other girl might take your business with a lower price.
Subra and shailynn also had some good suggestions.
Feel free to ask any questions. I'm not good at a lot, but I'm pretty good at managing a group of young slutty girls fighting for my body and my money. I love shopping for women.
Some responses here are interesting. There are plenty of girls in this situation of shared customers in every club. When you get to the club, find the girl that you are NOT going to dance with that night. Go up to her and say, "Hi honey, you look beautiful tonight! I just wanted to say hi, I'm here to dance with (other girl) tonight, I will be back to see you next time though," and give her a $5 in the side of her panties or top, and walk away. That way she knows you still are her customer, you've given her a peace offering, and she knows you are planning to see her next time. Then, follow through!
I recently found a new daytime CF after the last CF quit.
On my second visit with her, I told her that sometimes I might spend time with other dancers, and that I was okay with her spending time with other customers. That's just life in the strip club.
Even when I text a CF that I'm on the way, sometimes they are occupied when I arrive. No worries, I find another girl to spend time with while I wait. I tell her I came in to see my CF, but since she is busy, let's have a little fun while I wait! When the CF comes over, I tell the fill-in girl "I hope to see you again soon". Never had any drama when being honest and upfront about my plans.
You know the more I think about this. How many times have I waited on a dancer for an hour plus, while she is with another customer? So why should there be an issue if I want to get a dance from another dancer?
PinkSugarDoll-->" When you get to the club, find the girl that you are NOT going to dance with that night. Go up to her and say, "Hi honey, you look beautiful tonight! I just wanted to say hi, I'm here to dance with (other girl) tonight, I will be back to see you next time though," and give her a $5 in the side of her panties or top, and walk away. "
Exactly. This is almost exactly what I did, in my response closer to the top of this thread. As I said, transparency and confidence. Big smile, stay friendly and respectful, "I made an appointment with Cinnamon tonight but I'll see you next time". I think the key is to pull this off in a friendly, natural way... which might come to experienced PLs easily, but many newbies will tend to be intimidated and hesitant. I think you really want believe you're not doing anything wrong -- because you're not -- I mean, really internalize that the right thing to do is spend your money the way you want.
I don't see the point of the $5 tip, to me it can almost seem insulting, but that's a quibble :)
JS69-->"Most important, you must be strong, confident and in control. Don't put up with bullshit and stupid drama. Be a man and take control. But be a gentle and kind leader. Basically what I do is show them all love."
Yes, completely agree. I think the challenge here is that YOU feel strong, confident, and in control -- you're not just telling yourself that, you feel it right down into your bones so you can pull it off with ease and grace (rather than being nasty, douchey, or short with the girls -- my interactions are warm and respectful), which is the way I feel, too. OP won't feel that way until he mans up and runs this way at least once -- then, once he truly internalizes that he's not doing anything wrong, that the girls will follow his lead if he lays it out clearly and respectfully, he'll feel down to his bones, too. First step in the Subraman "Don't Be Intimidated by Strippers" 12-step program :)
JS69-->" I try to see them all each night but sometimes that's not possible. If so I make it up to the ones that I missed the next time. It's like buying presents for multiple kids at Christmas. You love them all equally, and you try your best to buy them all comparable presents so nobody feels unloved."
Okay, you completely lose me at the presents part, but that's ok -- I'll go along with the spirit, that if you want to see both girls equally, see them equally. I personally don't buy the girls presents, and I only see ONE girl at a time in the club, I reserve her for my entire 3-5 hour trip, and she is the sole object of my attention and generosity that entire time... then, if I want to switch girls next time, I make an appointment with a different girl. But that's a personal style thing, one girl at a time vs multiple girls in one trip, presents vs no presents, etc.
You are fighting a losing battle if ur going to the SC w/ the mindset of what the dancers think or what they want - the more you try to please them the more they will control you & the more the visit will be about them instead of you.
Only caveat I would add to this Subra, is if, as Cowboy mentioned if I go to a club and a girl I had made a previous appointment with, was busy with another PL, I wouldn't wait more than a few minutes for her to disengage from whomever she is with before moving on to another. By a few minutes I mean 5 tops. That would be major disrespect in my book.
P_C-->"You are fighting a losing battle if ur going to the SC w/ the mindset of what the dancers think or what they want - the more you try to please them the more they will control you & the more the visit will be about them instead of you"
You know, I sometimes needle you about being SW-ified, but you've definitely had a moment of clarity here -- you put it more clearly and succinctly than I possibly could have.
I was given this pearl of wisdom several years ago by my dad and it is relevant in many situations. It was relayed to me while I was playing a soccer game and my dad was in the stands, but works here just as well.
"Don't be such a pussy!!"
Words to live by. It comes in other variations as well.
"Change out of that skirt!!"
"Did you forget your tampon?!?!"
"Why are you being a douche target?!?!"
Flagooner - that advice is hilarious - and it's spot on.
Best to take control - show them that you are in charge - and don't worry about what they think.
Unless they are paying you - to dance for you - then I wouldn't think twice about their emotions. It's a business relationship - and that's all it is to them.
As I've posted in the past, being a nice guy in a strip club is like being a nice guy in prison, you will be used and abused and taken advantage of - not that one needs to be an ahole, but one def needs to stand-up for themselves.
30 comments
Latest
For me, the best way I've found to handle these types of situations is: transparency. When the day girl told me she'd be moving to nights, I'd be like, "Oh! I have a girl I've been seeing at nights ... I like you better but I'll have to still give her some love too, ok?" (or whatever). I'd do the same with the night girl, "You won't believe it, the girl I've been seeing during dayshift is moving to nights... you're my night girl but I have to give her some love too" (or whatever). I don't know if I'd word it exactly like that, but I'd be smiling and laughing as I said it, and not act as if I'm doing anything wrong (since I"m not).
They are not going to both get upset and not come over to you, as long as you politely and casually lay down the law for them -- they will both be seeing you, that's the way it is. If you passive-aggressive your way through in a cowardly manner, and let them just fight over you, someone or other's feelings might get hurt, that's when it's more likely the girls will get butthurt. Never let the girls set the rules as far as who gets your money, and you'll be fine.
Jay, if you're uncomfortable with that, and your imagination is running wild with fears that you'll be the topic of conversation between them and they'll be recounting word-for-word what you told them, then just leave out the "I like you better" part. In fact, you don't have to word it remotely like I did -- the main points: 1. be confident and transparent, 2. lay down your rules as to how you'll be spending your money, 3. if you handle it with confidence neither girl will abandon you, if you handle it like a bitch you could get them both disgusted
I think in the post twentyfive was talking about, I spoke about how I handle it when it when I HAVEN'T pre-set their expectations. Once I showed up to the club and old-fave was there, but I'd already made an appointment with new-fave. When old fave came up, I hugged her, gave her a big friendly hello, caught up with her for 20 seconds, then told her, "hey, I'm here to see Porsche today, I'll catch you another time, ok?" and that was that. No drama, no sneaking around. Not be scared of the dancers can make your entire trip be way more fun!
I know you're thinking you'll piss both of them off and neither will want to hang with you. That is simply not true, as long as you are paying they and don't throw up on them, they will both still hang with you.
I've been banging this chick for a good while but only ITC. She charges me too much but that's okay. My last visit I passed her up, blew her off and roamed the club trying to find something new. She got all upset, and sure enough when I didn't find anything better she was willing, ready and able when I came to her. I'd like to think it was because my oral skills are so good, but I'm willing to bet it was because I was getting ready to hand her a handful of money. When she asked "why did I blow her off," I told her, "I had a bad day at work, and just wanted to watch the end of this basketball game by myself before I got fucked." You can always find a decent excuse.
I just didn't want to see her that day. I bought dances from a different girl that day.
I got a text after I got home. She told me to never contact her again.
So, some girls get psycho and possessive. Some girls are cool and don't care who you spend your money with.
Most important, you must be strong, confident and in control. Don't put up with bullshit and stupid drama. Be a man and take control. But be a gentle and kind leader. Basically what I do is show them all love. I try to see them all each night but sometimes that's not possible. If so I make it up to the ones that I missed the next time. It's like buying presents for multiple kids at Christmas. You love them all equally, and you try your best to buy them all comparable presents so nobody feels unloved. Do the same with your strippers. Over several visits, spend roughly the same amount of time and money on each. Be clear in your words and actions that they are both important to you, and you don't have any favorite between them. Be clear that the only way they will likely lose your business is to be selfish and jealous.
I wouldn't do comparisons. I wouldn't say that I like you better. Instead I'd say to each one that I really enjoy being with you, and you give great lap dances. I want to keep doing this with you. But I also enjoy getting dances from X, so while you're with other customers I'm also going to be getting dances from her as well. Unless they are new, immature, or stupid, they will be fine with this.
If a dancer bitches about this like video girl has to me, then here is what I say. "You dance for other customers, so naturally Im going to dance with other strippers. That's one of the reasons that I love strip clubs, because everybody can have fun with everybody without petty jealousy." This shuts them up. Of course they dance for lots of other guys, so how they fuck could they bitch when you dance with other strippers?
I would never make an appointment with just one of them. Instead, Id text both and tell them that you look forward to seeing them. If you've done what I said above, they will understand that this means that you're coming to see them and whatever other dancers you want to see.
In its ideal form, which I hopefully have now achieved with these girls, they interact with each other and me. Sometimes two of them sit with me at the same time, and we get along great. At any point I can tell video girl that I'm going to go do a VIP with free girl, but that I'll do the same with her later that night or next time. She knows that I'll keep my word, that I'll spend roughly the same on her as the others, and that she'll really piss me off if she complains. So she hugs me and goes fishing elsewhere while I play with free girl. On the way to VIP, we might both stop and talk to GingerBread for a couple of minutes. GB knows I adore her red haired pussy so she's not worried about losing me to free girl. We all get along. This took a while but it now works well most of the time.
I realize that there might be competitive drama behind the scenes. But if so they know that I won't be drawn into it so they leave me out of it. If one of them tries to tell me something bad about the other, I stop them them mid-sentence. I tell them that I never get involved in dancer drama, that I wish they could get along but that I can't be drawn into their conflicts. I tell them that I love them all equally, that I want to play with all of them, and that I can't play favorites or get involved in their differences. Say these words, and then mean and live these words.
If and when one of them ever gets out of line in the future, I just gently but firmly remind them of what I said before. I make it clear that I love playing with them and want to continue, but I'm also going to play with other dancers just like they dance for other customers. If a dancer can't get with his program, dump her. She's not worth it. Or at least make it clear that she will not get any more of your money if she doesn't grow up.
This gets more complicated when you fuck them ITC and OTC. They want to know if the other girls do the same things that they do, and they want to know what you pay the other girls. My answer is always the same. I tell them that I promise every stripper complete confidentiality, and I'm a man of my word. I will never tell anyone about what any dancer does with me, including her. That's the way each of the dancers wants it, that's the way I want it, and that's the way it must be. Consistently refuse to say anything about these issues ever. Not one word. If you ever open the door to the topic, you won't be able to close it.
Note that as others have said this ambiguity can work in your favor. When dancers compete for your business, it's a good thing. She doesn't know if the other girl swallows your cum. So she swallows for you just in case, so you don't go to the other girl for her oral skills. Or she is hesitant to ask for more money from you because she knows that the other girl might take your business with a lower price.
Subra and shailynn also had some good suggestions.
Feel free to ask any questions. I'm not good at a lot, but I'm pretty good at managing a group of young slutty girls fighting for my body and my money. I love shopping for women.
On my second visit with her, I told her that sometimes I might spend time with other dancers, and that I was okay with her spending time with other customers. That's just life in the strip club.
Even when I text a CF that I'm on the way, sometimes they are occupied when I arrive. No worries, I find another girl to spend time with while I wait. I tell her I came in to see my CF, but since she is busy, let's have a little fun while I wait! When the CF comes over, I tell the fill-in girl "I hope to see you again soon". Never had any drama when being honest and upfront about my plans.
These girls are nuts that get mad.
PinkSugarDoll again offers a great solution.
Exactly. This is almost exactly what I did, in my response closer to the top of this thread. As I said, transparency and confidence. Big smile, stay friendly and respectful, "I made an appointment with Cinnamon tonight but I'll see you next time". I think the key is to pull this off in a friendly, natural way... which might come to experienced PLs easily, but many newbies will tend to be intimidated and hesitant. I think you really want believe you're not doing anything wrong -- because you're not -- I mean, really internalize that the right thing to do is spend your money the way you want.
I don't see the point of the $5 tip, to me it can almost seem insulting, but that's a quibble :)
Yes, completely agree. I think the challenge here is that YOU feel strong, confident, and in control -- you're not just telling yourself that, you feel it right down into your bones so you can pull it off with ease and grace (rather than being nasty, douchey, or short with the girls -- my interactions are warm and respectful), which is the way I feel, too. OP won't feel that way until he mans up and runs this way at least once -- then, once he truly internalizes that he's not doing anything wrong, that the girls will follow his lead if he lays it out clearly and respectfully, he'll feel down to his bones, too. First step in the Subraman "Don't Be Intimidated by Strippers" 12-step program :)
JS69-->" I try to see them all each night but sometimes that's not possible. If so I make it up to the ones that I missed the next time. It's like buying presents for multiple kids at Christmas. You love them all equally, and you try your best to buy them all comparable presents so nobody feels unloved."
Okay, you completely lose me at the presents part, but that's ok -- I'll go along with the spirit, that if you want to see both girls equally, see them equally. I personally don't buy the girls presents, and I only see ONE girl at a time in the club, I reserve her for my entire 3-5 hour trip, and she is the sole object of my attention and generosity that entire time... then, if I want to switch girls next time, I make an appointment with a different girl. But that's a personal style thing, one girl at a time vs multiple girls in one trip, presents vs no presents, etc.
You know, I sometimes needle you about being SW-ified, but you've definitely had a moment of clarity here -- you put it more clearly and succinctly than I possibly could have.
"Don't be such a pussy!!"
Words to live by. It comes in other variations as well.
"Change out of that skirt!!"
"Did you forget your tampon?!?!"
"Why are you being a douche target?!?!"
My dad is a very wise (and loud) man.
Best to take control - show them that you are in charge - and don't worry about what they think.
Unless they are paying you - to dance for you - then I wouldn't think twice about their emotions. It's a business relationship - and that's all it is to them.