What to do next, update
culvercityboy
California
See my original post from two days ago for the backstory.
Subraman asked for an update--so here's my update.
First, thanks to all for the feedback. I chewed on it for the last two days to figure out what I wanted to do.
So, saw today the subject of my frustration was on the club roll call today and decided to go in . . . and ignore her. Being a mostly familiar face, I was able to have conversations with several of the girls for the first hour I was in the club. Just talking and getting a few couch dances with a few different girls. I did notice that my CF took a few peaks over (I would like to think she was waiting for an opening to come sit with me, but that might have been my wishful fantasy). She definitely wasn't staring (neither was I) and I'm sure worked the room--I did see her give at least one custy a few couch dances.
I eventually found a girl who I had not had dances from and who I got a good vibe about and after a couple of couch dances negotiated to VIP. I know my CF saw me go to the VIP with this other girl. While I did not find a new CF, I did find a more than adequate alternative. I at least know I now have at least one option at the club.
I know that most of the girls I talked to the first hour know that I always get dances/VIP from CF. I don't know if the girls talk to each other in the backroom about regulars or not, but the little devil that all too often whispers in my ear was hoping that something was said between the girls (I know--wishful thinking, again).
I think now I'll wait a while before I go back to the club. Perhaps she'll contact me (very, very, very unlikely, but one can hope). At least 4-5 weeks instead of my usual 2 weeks. We'll see. I'll post another update then.
Subraman asked for an update--so here's my update.
First, thanks to all for the feedback. I chewed on it for the last two days to figure out what I wanted to do.
So, saw today the subject of my frustration was on the club roll call today and decided to go in . . . and ignore her. Being a mostly familiar face, I was able to have conversations with several of the girls for the first hour I was in the club. Just talking and getting a few couch dances with a few different girls. I did notice that my CF took a few peaks over (I would like to think she was waiting for an opening to come sit with me, but that might have been my wishful fantasy). She definitely wasn't staring (neither was I) and I'm sure worked the room--I did see her give at least one custy a few couch dances.
I eventually found a girl who I had not had dances from and who I got a good vibe about and after a couple of couch dances negotiated to VIP. I know my CF saw me go to the VIP with this other girl. While I did not find a new CF, I did find a more than adequate alternative. I at least know I now have at least one option at the club.
I know that most of the girls I talked to the first hour know that I always get dances/VIP from CF. I don't know if the girls talk to each other in the backroom about regulars or not, but the little devil that all too often whispers in my ear was hoping that something was said between the girls (I know--wishful thinking, again).
I think now I'll wait a while before I go back to the club. Perhaps she'll contact me (very, very, very unlikely, but one can hope). At least 4-5 weeks instead of my usual 2 weeks. We'll see. I'll post another update then.
18 comments
That's just some wack shit that she didn't come over and at least say hi. On the other hand, if I was in your shoes I would have went straight over to her as soon as I saw her, said hi and acted like I didn't give a fuck just to see her reaction.
The longer you go not talking to her, the more likely she's going to act like you're a total stranger when you enter the club from now on.
culvercityboy: thanks for the udpate! The one thing to keep in mind is that USUALLY -- there ARE exceptions, but usually -- these types of things mean far more to us as PLs than they do the dancers. Chances are, you've always been far more emotionally invested in her than she was in you. It's likely she DID look over to see what her former regular was up to, and whether she could slip in and sweet-talk you into opening your wallet for her again. What she probably wasn't doing was pining away in a sad & jealous funk, and more evaluating whether or not she blew a business opportunity.
These days, I play things off just like shailynn does -- I try to let these things be like water off a duck's back, and I find it liberating and empowering to adopt a "no hard feelings -- I wasn't that into you anyway" approach to all this (which is much easier since I normally am NOT that into her). I don't know if I'd go straight over to her like shailynn does, but I wouldn't avoid her either, I'd smile and say hi and maybe even make some friendly smalltalk, but if she asks if I want company, she'll get a big smiling friendly, "no thanks, not today!" and then I"d walk off. Friendly indifference makes far more of an impact than strong feelings, and I feel it's the healthiest mindset for me to have anyway. I don't go to the club to get angry or make girls jealous, if a girl fucks me over, no worries, move on to one who won't.
Strippers are like city-buses; sometimes they show up late and sometimes they don’t show-up at all – kinda goes w/ the territory.
When the bus shows up one is happy and they can get where they need to go; when it doesn’t; oh well; that’s the bus system for you.
The only thing I expect from a stripper is for her to treat me well when I have paid-her – other than that I don’t expect anything else from her.
In cases like this a PL needs to take the lead and approach the dancers that may not want to approach him out of “stripper curtesy” to dancer ‘Y’.
I'm going to give you one piece of advice that has always worked for me.
You will get a multitude of advice from many on TUSCL, and you may follow some, but trust my advice.
Do whatever you wish. It's YOUR life, YOUR money, YOUR everything. If all works well, it's YOUR enjoyment, if not, then no one to blame but yourself.
NSA= No String Attached
1) Don’t fall in-love with a stripper
2) Don’t forget rule #1
99% of the time they don’t think of you nearly as much as PLs think of them; except when they need $$$.
Dude – you’re just a wallet – a strip-club is a place to have one’s physical needs met – if one goes to strip-clubs trying to have one’s emotional needs met; one is asking for a rude awakening.