Just another regular?

73 comments

• jackslash

  •

  8 years ago

  I wouldn't say you deserved it. Strippers are professionals at lying to men and taking their money. We've all been played. It's too bad you didn't come to TUSCL sooner. We could have given you some good advice.
• GACA

  •

  8 years ago

  Hey bro...I love it when a guy goes for what he wants despite the odds. That girls wasn't into you just your money, but that isn't a knock towards you. Keep working out and being awesome, the thing is you're gonna fall in love at least five more times in this life. Good luck
• clubdude

  •

  8 years ago

  Have to agree with jack These strippers are good at playing a guy. I'm afraid all you mean to her is your initials (ATM).
• sclvr5005

  •

  8 years ago

  Assuming this thread isnt troll bullshit- You got played hard. Like you said - all you were to her was a paycheck. Yes you were the ultimate PL and for a "smart guy" you acted pretty stupid, naive & gullible. But I suspect that a story as extreme as this is just that - a story.
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  Should have done this a couple of years ago! Ahhh it's only money, she could have gotten a lot more if she played her cards right! Thanks for the feedback.
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  No dude...it happened.
• twentyfive

  •

  8 years ago

  I agree with jackslash, these type of women are smarter than most guys, when it comes to squeezing you dry, often they do it without you even noticing until it is too late. Most of us have gotten burned before,the difference is just degrees, let this be a lesson a bit more expensive than you would like, treat whores like whores and ladies like ladies and don't let this experience mess you up.
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  If you want her to be more than your P4P, then you have to open up to her and find a broader basis of shared association. Rather than your hooker, she might become your mistress. But to get her into a completely civilian mode you would have to be completely open to her. And then still, for all the reason that relationships and marriages cause other people such problems, it might not have worked for you. SJG
• twentyfive

  •

  8 years ago

  ^^^^ BTW Stick around and read some of the older threads you will learn a lot.
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  GACA wrote, "...I love it when a guy goes for what he wants despite the odds." I agree 100% and that was an outstanding post. And yes, please to stick around. SJG
• jaredlucas

  •

  8 years ago

  Well my friend, you need to think with your other head. Mr happy is guiding you down the wrong path. Based on your writing style It is clear that you are above average intelligence but there are many red flags here. The fact that you only email her and never talk via phone or text is shocking - this is a significant sign that she wants to keep the relationship professional. Ironically these gals often have. Multiple sugar daddies and it is possible that you may be one of several she is stringing along. I am sure she is lovely and genuinely enjoys your company when you are together but if she truly appreciated you she wouldn't be charging you VIP rates to hang out with you. Start Spending that money on her by taking her out of town for fun and good fucking. Maybe a quick trip to mexico or vegas would be a good gauge of her interest. If she won't take a trip with you after knowing you for 3 years she is unlikely she will ever be something more than an obsession and cash black hole. I've dated multiple dancers over the years and am currently enjoying the company of one particular lady who I know has multiple regulars but she does travel with me and sees me outside the club a few times per month. We mostly text when we communicate, but also mix in a call or email every now and then As much as I adore her company it will never be serious as she is on a mission and has a longer term plan that I am not a part. I am just a spoke in the wheel of her progress. In the meantime, I am enjoying her company and will certainly miss her when we part ways some time In the near future. The good news ... There are many ladies that will be happy to take her place. Just like there are many other ladies who like to be in your ladies place. gotta run. Heading out to plant seeds on two others babes that have high potential. Good luck! Jared
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  I think it used to be that prostitution was a second profession for women, like after they'd had a kid and been dumped and so they were no longer on the marriage block. The world was more conservative then and so the rules for women were more restrictive. But more and more I think lots of young women just don't want to be hurt. And I think this is because usually they themselves are survivors of familial child abuse. So prostitution, the strip club form being the top of the food chain, is a way to pay apartment rent, and also a way to have power. They can know lots of guys, and fucking them is no big deal for the girls, but their feelings are protected by the protocols of this service provider role they have taken on. I mean you could have a woman as your dentist and you could pay her lots of money. But this does not mean that she is your GF or your future wife. So I think when you find never married child free young women in such a role, you have to assume that they have a big need to protect themselves. And then a corollary to this is that the economics are secondary to these women, as mostly it is just about trying to heal from past abuses without getting hurt more in the mean time. any thoughts?? SJG Rainbow - Catch the Rainbow [view link]
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  jaredlucas, good post! SJG
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  Thanks Jared. I tried the trips. They were a non s-starter. She's a very busy person. Haha. My denial for the past three years is incredibly embarassing!
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  BigLoser, Are there other young women you cross paths with? Usually all you need is a job, and the women start to make their presence felt. SJG
• larryfisherman

  •

  8 years ago

  "a few hundred grand" Good God!
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  I think she definitely enjoyed the power aspect. If I blew off an email or two, there was immediate concern on her end. She spoke of some bad experiences, but I did everything I could to make her feel safe with me. Bottom line for me is that is that if I want to stop being treated like a customer, I have to stop acting like one.
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  SJG....funny once I started seeing her and taking better care of myself, plenty of real women started showing interest. They didn't matter, I was all in with the stripper.
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  Some pros want to be civilianized. Usually they seem to be the older ones, ones that are pro because they have no other options. But a young pro like this, she is pro by choice and so probably this means that she mostly wants emotional protection. SJG
• shailynn

  •

  8 years ago

  Are you married?
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  Fisherman.....yeah I actually kept track 260k.
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  Shailynn.....Unhappily....she knows.
• ButterMan

  •

  8 years ago

  First off I'm surprised all of you don't recognize this post as complete troll BS, We have enough of those around here. please don't encourage more. You met a stripper and couldn't get her out of head for a year even after staying away. And she was still there after a year too huh? Because this is one profession where there is never any job turnover...LOL! What is this a harlequin romance set in a strip club?
• Cashman1234

  •

  8 years ago

  It sucks to get played - but I hope you enjoyed her company while it lasted. She sounds like a girl who was well above average - but she was probably pretty intelligent too - as it takes a lot to continue a manipulative relationship. I think it might not be a great feeling right now - but It seems that you enjoyed it (while you were with her) - so that's good! It is something I'd chalk up to an expensive learning experience. Those red flags will be obvious if another girl tries them on you again. Don't get down on yourself. Don't stop working out. Don't go back to her either. Move forward - and enjoy new experiences with girls who treat you right -
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  BigLoser, I am getting the impression that you are not married? And about your stripper, I can see in what you say that there was power involved. She was not just protecting herself from being hurt. She was going beyond this. We've talked recently about the movie Leaving Las Vegas. The book is even better than the movie. For the main character, Sarah, it is about power. For some reason she needs to protect herself in that way. She is in ordinary clothes playing blackjack and she finds herself feeling attracted to a nice seeming guy. She cuts him to ribbons by critiquing his lack of blackjack skills. Then going home in a taxicab she laments that she is not in her working clothes, so that she could do a few. Now obviously she does not need the money, or she wouldn't have been wasting money on drinking and gambling. No, she wants to do a few as that is how she emotionally protects herself. She gets guys to want her and pay her money and she services them, but she keeps her own feelings walled off. She gets power and emotional armor this way. About a local case of a Chinese massage girl I knew who was busted, I found her a great lawyer. I told the lawyer that prostitution is addictive, for both sides, and I referenced this Leaving Las Vegas story. You can also see the same sort of thing in Klute. The woman feels attracted to the man, so the way she protects herself is by trying to turn it into a P4P relationship. She does not need that extra money. She keeps trying, offering discounts, and then finally for free. The guy still refuses, until she is willing to drop the prostitution scripting. SJG
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  Butterman....it's true and I am not proud of it. I can use the advice.
• JamesSD

  •

  8 years ago

  You were a paycheck. Never, ever pay just to talk.
• mikeya02

  •

  8 years ago

  Wow, people here like to give advice no matter what the story is
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  Butterman, someone is only a troll if they are posting untrue stuff just to annoy people. If they are saying what is true, even if they might seem foolish, they are not a troll. And BigLoser, I'm not saying you sound foolish. I'm just trying to reply to Butterman. And people who are in unhappy marriages are extremely vulnerable. Marriage can be one of the worst nightmares any of us will ever have to endure. I used to say we should outlaw marriage, while legalizing prostitution. Now I say we should legalize prostitution and we should also come up with things which minimize the death trap aspects of marriage. SJG
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  SJG....I'm married, clearly not happily. I'm better off dealing with that with a clear head. This girl totally has stripper armour. But when she dropped the act and was herself was when I actually enjoyed being with her. She reserved the right to put the wall up again at any time. I wanted he outside to leave that shit behind. That's probably one of the reasons she wouldn't see me outside. It couldn't have just been the money, I made it pretty clear that money wasn't an issue.
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  "clear head" This subject has come up before. I feel it better that if one has to terminate a marriage, that they do it while being strictly faithful. That is, don't let other partners influence any of it. Feel the pain and do what you need to do. And then the healing takes time. As far as your stripper, people have the right to be open or not be. In lots of ways, single people have more power. But again, deal with the unworkable marriage before seeing other women. So there are marriage councilors and there are divorce lawyers. Try the first. If it doesn't work, then you need the second. SJG
• Ch3ll

  •

  8 years ago

  To answer the thread question yeah you were a regular to her, especially if y'all never met outside the club. Strippers are some hustling motherfuckers. Once you get over the emotional part of this, you probably will look back and say at least you had fun, plus you got into shape to attract civilian women. Has it been days since the email was sent and were y'all conversing via email like sitting at work behind a desk answering emails as they come in? Anyway, if she calls don't fall head over heels for her. Not trying to jab at you because we've all been fooled by these strippers on occasion, but think about it email?? A last favorite of mine (25 yrs) gave me her number that supposedly her and her lil sister shared. Plus she claimed she wasn't into using a cell phone. I texted once just to say it was me and crickets.... I see her a few more times in the club and on my last visit she tells me to find her on Facebook which I do. A few weeks later she post to the public she's going to another state for a few to get her life right. I send her a Facebook message that offers encouragement and what do you know it shows she replied and was on lately via mobile.
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  SJG...You're right. Before I got into this, I actually said that to a friend. As for the stripper, she only ever told me what she wanted to, but she knew all about me. We made our choices. I'm not criticizing her. She knew about my marriage. I told her early on. I never wanted to try to explain a lie about something so important.
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  The emails weren't even live back and forth. Usually a few hours would go by. All very obvious now....just a regular.
• ButterMan

  •

  8 years ago

  Wow SJG is giving us the definition of a troll...oh the irony. The point is I don't believe the story at all. A guy joins TUSCL today and post's a long winded BS post straight out of penthouse forum...yea thats real.
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  Not to give you a hard time, but try and see it from her vantage point. She's got the looks, and she puts it on display at her club. So guys zillions of guys hit on her. So she protects herself, and she is not wrong for giving guys what they want while taking their money. The women who really get hurt are the ones who believe that the guy will divorce his wife and marry them, because usually this does not happen. Should we make a law against marriage? Which is more harmful, prostitution or marriage? Comrade Engels has shown us how they are two sides of the same coin. I say we should set up a scholarship fund so that we can start sending some strippers to school to become marriage councilors and divorce lawyers. SJG
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  Butterman, yes, someone who really is leading us on with a fabricated story like this would be a troll. I admit though that I don't know for sure. But I don't believe that this is a case of trolling and I think we should give everyone the benefit of the doubt. SJG
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  I'm not trolling. I read posts on this site for a long time. Thought I was different. Made a decision a few weeks ago and acted on it. Starting to question that decision and needed to post to get some advice before I do something stupid like go back there. The story is true. Part of me wishes it wasn't, but I had fun for a long time. Less fun lately. Believe it o don't. The advice helped. It confirmed what I had thought deep down from the beginning. Thanks.
• JohnSmith69

  •

  8 years ago

  In case you wondered, this poster is not me. It's just some troll pretending to be me.
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  Again, we should give people the benefit of he doubt. SJG
• GACA

  •

  8 years ago

  Nothing worse than a destiny half fulfilled. Your on your path now don't get scared or discouraged now
• Bavarian

  •

  8 years ago

  I don't know but after the Anongirl incident, I have a hard time believing new posters. How can someone possibly spend hundreds of thousands on one stripper? JS69 has a harem of strippers who he is fucking, wining and dining, taking trips and shopping with and I doubt he has spent that much. You communicated via email? Might as well be messenger pigeon. Even the most straight laced professional strippers give their personal phone number to regulars that spend $$$$
• san_jose_guy

  •

  8 years ago

  Don't underestimate JS69. SJG
• gawker

  •

  8 years ago

  Bavarian - my ATF hit me for about $250,000. For years I was seeing her at least twice weekly @ $500 a pop OTC. Throw in a few all nighters, a Vegas trip, another to the Carolina shore and poof! A quarter mill is gone; never to return. I'm not going to regret it, however hindsight being what it is, there's lots I'd do differently if on a Groundhog Day do over.
• gawker

  •

  8 years ago

  Read my article "[view link] and you'll see how the money goes and the heart fools common sense.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  No way of telling who’s a troll and who’s not – but even b/f I joined TUSCL and even b/f I was a regular SCer; I’d already heard a few stories of guys getting burned BIG TIME by stripper hustles to the point of losing marriages and even losing f’ing businesses – so IMO – yeah – it does happen. Case in point I saw a special on CNBC a year or two ago called “Divorce Wars” where they had different stories of big-time divorces and this one dude was a multi multi millionaire and a divorcee and met “this perfect woman” soon after he got divorced; “feel in-love”; did not get a prenup b/c she was “such a great gal” – got married – chick divorced him a couple of years later – took half his shit and the bitch became an instant 1-percenter where b/f she didn’t have 2 nickels to rub together – and the dude was self-made and super successful and smart – he was just “naïve” although he *was* very smart and very very successful. It happens.
• JamesSD

  •

  8 years ago

  Bigloser, are you from Canada, or the UK?
• Subraman

  •

  8 years ago

  The story itself it totally believable. Guys get taken like this, and worse. A good guy who doesn't realize what strippers are about -- and more importantly, doesn't realize that instead of being up front with him, she'll take advantage of the fact that he is confused about what's going on. Agree with whoever it was up above who said we've all gotten played to some extent or other, OP just got played harder than most
• rickdugan

  •

  8 years ago

  Q: So I'm wondering do I mean anything to this woman or was I just a paycheck? A: You were just a paycheck. Q: Are strippers everywhere telling regulars that they love them and want to spend their life with them? A: With how much you were spending, it would have taken a near saint of a dancer not to play along and most dancers aren't saints. When you go into a place where girls are paid by guys to give them attention and affection, you shouldn't be surprised to find some who will roll with it for as much as they can get paid. Q: And the ultimate question, am I just a pathetic loser that got exactly what I deserved? A: Yes and no. You got taken by a romance hustle. It is not uncommon with guys who are new to strip clubs. The only real surprising parts are how much you spent on her and how long it took before it finally dawned on you that she was playing you. 300k and 3 years are an awful lot of money and time to spend chasing after a girl who wouldn't even see you outside the club or take a phone call from you. Lesson learned I guess.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  There are two basic and time-tested rules of SCing: 1) Don’t fall in-love with a stripper 2) Don’t forget rule #1 Your story should be a case-study and required reading for all SC newbs – but thanks for being honest. “… am I just a pathetic loser that got exactly what I deserved …” You just got schooled by someone whom knows the game much better than you – kinda like a professional Vegas gambler against a guy that plays poker on Fr nights w/ his buddies. Many of us have gotten played – but also most of us don’t have big-time $$$ so they took what they could. “…Bottom line for me is that is that if I want to stop being treated like a customer, I have to stop acting like one …” Not sure if this is the way to go – 99% of the time you will always be a custy and nothing more NO-MATTER what they (dancers) say *or* do – IMO pretty-much the only recourse is to be a *smart* custy. You situation is not an “isolated incident” of “meeting the wrong girl/stripper” – if you keep going to SCs acting the same way you will most likely keep getting burned if you come across the good hustlers – the best you can do is not violate the “2 golden rules of SCing” :) and just enjoy the ride knowing it’s not genuine/real – you scratch her back she scratches yours – finito. “…she could have gotten a lot more if she played her cards right …” Nah – the smart hustlers know when to get-out or how far to go b/f it gets too deep – they know when to pull the cord on the parachute. “…It couldn't have just been the money, I made it pretty clear that money wasn't an issue …” The two parts of this statement reinforce each other rather than oppose each other – w/ strippers 99% of the time it’s ALL about the $$$ ALL the time – telling her you have lots of $$$ is like telling a druggie you have plenty of drugs – her eyes will light-up and she will reinforce her efforts to get the big score.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  As the old saying goes - "if it looks too good to be true - it probably is"
• Bavarian

  •

  8 years ago

  Papi, what do you mean with strippers know how far to go before it gets too deep? Why leave money on the table?
• Bavarian

  •

  8 years ago

  I'm trying to figure out when my CF will eject and pull the plug on me, lol.
• lopaw

  •

  8 years ago

  Wow. That is really really sad. If this is all true you would indeed be the poster child of what NOT to do.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  ”… Papi, what do you mean with strippers know how far to go before it gets too deep …” Smart strippers know it’s not worth the hassle either when a regular starts being too clingy and/or demanding or when he’s on to her SS where she can’t manipulate and take his $$$ anymore or as easily as b/f.
• jackslash

  •

  8 years ago

  BigLoser, if you're still interested in pursuing strippers, you should stick around here and read about the trials and tribulations of us PLs. TUSCL has taught me some healthy cynicism, without which I would have been played even more. I've wasted a ton of money on strippers, but I've gotten a lot of sex too.
• grinddawg

  •

  8 years ago

  "I spent a few hundred grand in the period of 3 years." OUCH. " I tried to treat her like a person, not an object. I told her how I felt. She told me she felt the same, but wasn't ready for a relationship. We emailed, never texts or calls. Sometimes she'd let me hang for a few days but never when she was working and thought I might come in." Here is a rule that we should always follow. Not only in the strip club, but in the office, in the gym, and in the bar. NEVER JUDGE A PERSON BY THEIR WORDS, JUDGE THEM BY THEIR ACTIONS. The fact she never tried to escalate the relationship beyond strategic emails was indicative of her intentions. You may have had noble intentions, and she may/may have liked you on a personal level, but you met her at her job and fell into the dreaded customer category. Not withstanding the fact, you admittedly spent a significant amount of cash on her. You are not a loser. You simply met the wrong person at the wrong time. Learn from it. Improve yourself. Don't make the same mistakes again.
• shadowcat

  •

  8 years ago

  "Year of the Monkey" Shit! Sounds more like the Year of the Troll around here.
• ilbbaicnl

  •

  8 years ago

  Dude, sorry, hard not to suspect you're trolling here. Are you honestly thinking she wouldn't play you like that? That's like thinking, if you thought you had to pay sticker price for a car, they wouldn't take your money. Then again, if there was something that could motivate me to keep my sorry ass in shape, it'd probably be worth six figures. So maybe this is working for you in a way.
• Bavarian

  •

  8 years ago

  Even LMN was more believable, lol. Man, Anongirl fooled me hard. Not falling for it again.
• ButterMan

  •

  8 years ago

  +1 bavarian!
• twentyfive

  •

  8 years ago

  Here's the thing guys, anon girl fooled a lot of us including me and she was smart but not that smart I personally think that anon was one of our female regulars, not lopaw trying out a new persona just to see if she could pull it off. Anyway with that being said, I can relate to what this guy is saying, so even if he is trolling us that doesn't invalidate this thread.
• georgmicrodong

  •

  8 years ago

  @BigLoser: Look at the bright side, she was, in fact, telling you the truth about at least one thing. The part about how she "wasn't ready for a relationship." Whether or not you're real, I look at your story and thank all the gods that were, are, and will be, that I've been as lucky as I have. And still am.
• Estafador

  •

  8 years ago

  A timeless saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!" You got suckered in and for MOST that's common (not for me, but I'm not common lol). Just don't let it happen again.
• BigLoser

  •

  8 years ago

  Never posted on a discussion. Board of any type before. I decided to do this before hitting "send" on an email a drafted to her. I thought i'did try something different since what I was doing wasn't exactly working. Thanks for all the comments. I didn't hear anything I didn't already know ow, but I needed to hear it....over and over again. For those of you that don't buy the story, nothing I can say will change that. If I had done this a year or two ago, it wouldn't have worked for me, I wasn't ready. As I said I knew what was going on and chose to keep swinging against overwhelming odds. No regrets, the money I spent wouldn't have had nearly the impact on my life if it were sitting in a bank. If she calls me today, i'LLC et her buy me dinner. I'miss done paying for the pleasure of her company. For the past month, i'be been looking at my watch in the last hour of my extended VIA sessions. BTW on what planet is a darkx 4×4 closet with a stinky couch and no door considered VIPS treatment? Thanks again to all.
• JohnSmith69

  •

  8 years ago

  Please quit feeding the troll.
• Cashman1234

  •

  8 years ago

  Your story is believable - to me. But the thing that causes it to become questionable is the idea of you spending $250,000 on basically VIP only experiences. If you were taking her on trips or buying her stuff - then it might make more sense to me. To take it a step farther - if you are still married - and your wife has an idea of how much you have been spending on a stripper - then you are possibly too wealthy to be on this site. You could spend more money - and get some more personal advice from a therapist - and that might help both you and your wife. I apologize for being a skeptic - but the money spent on inside the club experiences seems like a lot
• Lone_Wolf

  •

  8 years ago

  Very skeptal here. 260k would average out to almost 300 a day 7 days a week.And the OP never got a phone number . Very hard to believe.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  Perhaps if you spend another $300k on her you may get to text w/ her.
• Ch3ll

  •

  8 years ago

  This story is hard to believe on some levels, but in regards to the money I'd say it's very possible if his pockets are deep like that. I'd guess most PLs just tend to spread their money around therefore getting more experience of SS, but taking it further outside the limits or within the limits of the club with a stripper.
• NinaBambina

  •

  8 years ago

  My twin sister had one of her regulars give her over 100K in one year. She was also seeing him OTC (claims she wasn't doing any extras but whatever). He was also sending her thousand dollar moneygrams quite regularly because she was a hardcore drug addict. They knew each other for several yrs so I know he gave her much more than that. He doesn't talk to her anymore because her stupid ass lied to him too much and he caught on. So while this mysterious poster's claimed amount seems unlikely, it's possible.
• NinaBambina

  •

  8 years ago

  BTW my sister has absolutely NOTHING to show for the six-figure amount she got from the guy because it all went to her addiction.
• lopaw

  •

  8 years ago

  That's very sad, Nina.....sorry to hear that. Is your sister clean now?