Definition of a slut?
poledancer83
Narnia
Curious and bored so time for one of my all famous polls lol. The word slut and whore are often used in strip clubs and even in real life a lot. While I have discussed before and most on here know I look at it as a compliment and think people need to stop being so sensitive to labels and words. Most dancers I have met try there whole career to deny being a slut or even anything more then a naked person on a stage. And that is well within there right to do so. So the question at hand is what do you think justifies calling a girl a slut whore etc. Not in the joking funny sense but truly meaning it. Do you consider dancers to be slut because they show off there bodies? Are girls sluts based on number of sex partners, baby daddies, babies, or what other means makes a girl a slut. Is it a lifestyle of all the above or some of the above. I mean a lot like a lot lol of people have seen me in my birthday suit and I have had a lot of partners but is that alone enough to justify it. Again no wrong answers and no hurt feelings just honestly curious and no better place to get strong solid advice then on here. Love ya guys and I look forward to the answers xoxo :)
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A whore fucks everybody except you
I think it comes from the reference point of male privilege and/or patriarchy. Although men or woman can equally apply the label in that scenario. I also feel it's a shaming tactic, hence, "slut shaming" is a thing. To me, a slut conjures up images of a person (usually a woman) with low standards or multiple casual partners.
The double standard is, a male-slut or a man-whore will often receive (veiled) praise.
Women in monogamous or exclusive relationships use slut shaming to stave off competition, and control access to sex, in order to control or reserve power of their partner. Since access to the pussy often entails access to her partner's money.
Men use slut shaming to reaffirm their control over and access to a (or any) woman's sexuality. (See male privilege).
In other news, since when was there a joking aspect of calling a girl a slut? I thought you females hammered into us men that calling you a slut/whore/bitch/hoe was a demeaning word and is not looked upon jokingly, appraisingly or any other positive emotion? Is there some exemption I don't know about?
Irrespective of that, I shy away from the term because of the perjorative connotation it's taken on in the last few decades. It's now even worse than "slut" is.
For me, slut and whore both are, as Subraman related, merely shaming tactics for women who like sex. Since there's nothing wrong with liking sex, it says more about the person who uses those words than it does about the person to whom they are being applied.
I am a slut.
When a relationship I've had ends bad, that girl automatically turns into a whore. Well maybe she really isn't a whore but that's the word I use when referring to her from here on out.
Poledancer,
I think the girls using it is about "taking the term back" so men can't use it in a sexist way. I see women calling each other slut, whore, hoe/ho, bitch, etc. all of the time. In the context, it is almost like a term of endearment. For that you could almost use/subsitute the term "on point." How about this example?
DANCER_1: Bitch, how do I look tonight?
DANCER_2: Hoe, don't call me a bitch. You look like a total slut tonight.
DANCER_1: Thank you. =) You look like a total slut, too.
DANCER_2: Thx.
Poledancer --> "Do you consider dancers to be slut because they show off there bodies?"
Nope. I respect anyone who has the ovaries/balls to get out there with stilettos, a thong, pay a house fee, and try to make money off us PLs.
Poledancer --> "Are girls sluts based on number of sex partners, baby daddies, babies, or what other means makes a girl a slut."
historically? the number of partners I guess. What the threshold? I don't know. I don't use the term.
Poledancer --> "Is it a lifestyle of all the above or some of the above."
I think the "haters" also (want to believe) that the higher the average partners a slut has (again, who gets to set the threshold?), is mainly due to her having lower standards and/or her dressing promiscuously. I think that inference is because the "haters" are jealous.
Poledancer --> "I mean a lot like a lot lol of people have seen me in my birthday suit and I have had a lot of partners but is that alone enough to justify it."
To a "hater"? Sure. But to me? I don't give a fuck. It's not my place to be judgmental and label you. If you want to use the term slut on yourself as a term of endearment, sure, I can acknowledge that.
Thanks for this post. I've frequently thought about this question.
Before joining the strip club scene, I just accepted the societal norm that full spectrum of sex workers are bad people, simply sluts and whores. After spending time with sex workers ranging from those who wear more in a club than they would on a beach (no touch bikini clubs), to providers sucking and fucking 40-50 guys a day (Amsterdam Red Light District), I fully respect these professionals, as they render a valuable service. In the non-professional world, I don't judge anyone based on their sexual proclivities.
I fully agree with Dominic77, who best articulated the traditional double standard regarding male and female sexuality. Slut, whore and other derogatory labels are really meaningless.
On the other hand, whores/hoes are simply women who have sexual relations for profit.
Or at least I've said that until recently. Unfortunately I believe Social Media in part muddies the issue.
So unfortunately, I present a couple of areas where a line is often crossed:
1) The so-called "Attention Whore" I think there are a ton of women out there with fragile egos who will do anything for attention, and between "Jerry Springer" style talk shows and (even more applicable) Facebook, Twitter, etc they have a venue to make a spectacle of themselves. Okay, there is no exchange of sex for money here so maybe on the surface 'attention slut' would be a better term, but on further examination there is a transaction involved: Egregiously inappropriate sexual behavior for attention, Once again, if its all about where to put the pink meat missile some men would find these women intriguing instead of repulsive but I think most of the girls who put a scarlet A on themselves on Facebook or Montel Williams are to be avoided, because they also fall under the title of Drama Queen. In other words, Shit they start sticks to all people surrounding them including their partners, the families of their partners and the spouses or girlfriends of that poor SOB who is clueless that boinking this sort of woman is asking to be part of a train wreck. Someone mentioned lack of discretion-involvement with girls who share this mind set is an accident waiting to happen.
2) Gold-diggers would deserve the word whore. A sex worker is a service provider , but girls who are technically civilians who set out to use sex as a weapon and deceitfully or manipulatively try to con guys into getting something that was not consensual-- I may be inclined to use the term whore. We're talking blackmail, we're talking the girls who form liaisons with lonely seniors to take their inheritance. Hell, to a degree this is EXACTLY the category strip club ROB's fall into : The ones who make promises they have no intention on delivering.
Again, These aren't words I use lightly because of the Scarlet A factor, personally I think the line where they are appropriate is when the lady in question totally disrespects herself and her associates on one hand and her partners and their associates on the other.
2)
I think age may be a factor here as well. When I was growing up about four hundred years ago, calling a woman a slut or a whore was about as vile a double-standard condemnation as there was. Never could understand guys who chased skirts using those terms - did they think that their maleness somehow made them better?