Curious and bored so time for one of my all famous polls lol. The word slut and whore are often used in strip clubs and even in real life a lot. While I have discussed before and most on here know I look at it as a compliment and think people need to stop being so sensitive to labels and words. Most dancers I have met try there whole career to deny being a slut or even anything more then a naked person on a stage. And that is well within there right to do so. So the question at hand is what do you think justifies calling a girl a slut whore etc. Not in the joking funny sense but truly meaning it. Do you consider dancers to be slut because they show off there bodies? Are girls sluts based on number of sex partners, baby daddies, babies, or what other means makes a girl a slut. Is it a lifestyle of all the above or some of the above. I mean a lot like a lot lol of people have seen me in my birthday suit and I have had a lot of partners but is that alone enough to justify it. Again no wrong answers and no hurt feelings just honestly curious and no better place to get strong solid advice then on here. Love ya guys and I look forward to the answers xoxo :)
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I think it comes from the reference point of male privilege and/or patriarchy. Although men or woman can equally apply the label in that scenario. I also feel it's a shaming tactic, hence, "slut shaming" is a thing. To me, a slut conjures up images of a person (usually a woman) with low standards or multiple casual partners.
The double standard is, a male-slut or a man-whore will often receive (veiled) praise.
Women in monogamous or exclusive relationships use slut shaming to stave off competition, and control access to sex, in order to control or reserve power of their partner. Since access to the pussy often entails access to her partner's money.
Men use slut shaming to reaffirm their control over and access to a (or any) woman's sexuality. (See male privilege).
25 has a point. A whore typically fucks for money (RE: prostitute), but the common difference I see (vis a vis with a slut), is you want some distance (or you are trying to create or reaffirm some distance) between a whore and you. To label someone a "whore" is an ostracizing label.
So I have had a lot of partners but I wont fuck anyone and my confidence levels aren't low. I also have sex because I enjoy same reason I like being naked I enjoy it. I totally understand why women get the bad rap cause we are deemed as the submissive to a male. plus men always want to justify why someone may have left them either in a personal relationship or even as just a hook up. but for the average girl that just likes to have sex with multiple people is that enough to call a slut
For me the definition of being a slut has nothing to with the number of partners or profession. Rather, I define a slut as someone that fucks their friends boyfriend or sisters husband etc.. They just can't manage to keep their panties on when they should.
25 trust me I don't get offended and like I said the term doesn't bother me I look at it like im having fun and its a label for girls that have fun and like sex lol.
A slut is based on the number of baby daddies, the number of partners within a time period and how sleazy she acts out public. The sleaziness is negated in the strip club as that's part of the "job" though the sex part is negligable. But if she's getting paid to sleep with a bunch of guys, she's beyond a slut and is now a prostitute or escort. Whichever word helps you sleep better at night. Though I won't fault a prostitute/escort for being a slut/whore, its part of the job to make money, not something she does because she's naturally easy and likes to fuck around.
In other news, since when was there a joking aspect of calling a girl a slut? I thought you females hammered into us men that calling you a slut/whore/bitch/hoe was a demeaning word and is not looked upon jokingly, appraisingly or any other positive emotion? Is there some exemption I don't know about?
just to clarify I am not talking about professional women I am talking only about regular non "working girls". Also what I meant by jokingly is not what guys say to us but what we say to each other. its a joking term like I call some of my female friends a slut or something but not in an offensive manner. Also all girls are different ive seen girls have guys thrown out for calling them sluts in the club and other girls like me just either ignore it or turn it into a way to make more money by talking bs with the person. Also what do you mean by how sleazy she acts in public? like clothes actions?
The technical definition of whore, as Dougster would correctly point out, makes many strippers "whores" even if they don't fuck or suck for money. The dictionary definition talks about sexual services, not sex.
Irrespective of that, I shy away from the term because of the perjorative connotation it's taken on in the last few decades. It's now even worse than "slut" is.
For me, slut and whore both are, as Subraman related, merely shaming tactics for women who like sex. Since there's nothing wrong with liking sex, it says more about the person who uses those words than it does about the person to whom they are being applied.
When a relationship I've had ends bad, that girl automatically turns into a whore. Well maybe she really isn't a whore but that's the word I use when referring to her from here on out.
I think the girls using it is about "taking the term back" so men can't use it in a sexist way. I see women calling each other slut, whore, hoe/ho, bitch, etc. all of the time. In the context, it is almost like a term of endearment. For that you could almost use/subsitute the term "on point." How about this example?
DANCER_1: Bitch, how do I look tonight?
DANCER_2: Hoe, don't call me a bitch. You look like a total slut tonight.
DANCER_1: Thank you. =) You look like a total slut, too.
DANCER_2: Thx.
Poledancer --> "Do you consider dancers to be slut because they show off there bodies?"
Nope. I respect anyone who has the ovaries/balls to get out there with stilettos, a thong, pay a house fee, and try to make money off us PLs.
Poledancer --> "Are girls sluts based on number of sex partners, baby daddies, babies, or what other means makes a girl a slut."
historically? the number of partners I guess. What the threshold? I don't know. I don't use the term.
Poledancer --> "Is it a lifestyle of all the above or some of the above."
I think the "haters" also (want to believe) that the higher the average partners a slut has (again, who gets to set the threshold?), is mainly due to her having lower standards and/or her dressing promiscuously. I think that inference is because the "haters" are jealous.
Poledancer --> "I mean a lot like a lot lol of people have seen me in my birthday suit and I have had a lot of partners but is that alone enough to justify it."
To a "hater"? Sure. But to me? I don't give a fuck. It's not my place to be judgmental and label you. If you want to use the term slut on yourself as a term of endearment, sure, I can acknowledge that.
Thanks for this post. I've frequently thought about this question.
Before joining the strip club scene, I just accepted the societal norm that full spectrum of sex workers are bad people, simply sluts and whores. After spending time with sex workers ranging from those who wear more in a club than they would on a beach (no touch bikini clubs), to providers sucking and fucking 40-50 guys a day (Amsterdam Red Light District), I fully respect these professionals, as they render a valuable service. In the non-professional world, I don't judge anyone based on their sexual proclivities.
I fully agree with Dominic77, who best articulated the traditional double standard regarding male and female sexuality. Slut, whore and other derogatory labels are really meaningless.
Poledancer we love you for flashing us and we hope anyone who says mean things to you drops dead. Get as much good dick as you want and don't worry what any dumbasses have to say about it.
Sluts are promiscuous and messy. Part of their dictionary definition is that they have low standards for cleanliness; I believe this is true. A woman who has a lot of sexual partners but uses condoms, keeps things private, and doesn't have sex with people that would be "crossing the line" (like best friend's ex, someone who's in a relationship, etc) is just a girl who likes sex but isn't reckless or trashy with it. Sluts, however, often don't have boundaries, they WILL fuck their most recent ex's friends, they WILL "homie hop" (fuck several guys in the same friend circle), they will sleep around yet not use condoms, and generally have lower standards for themselves.
On the other hand, whores/hoes are simply women who have sexual relations for profit.
Okay I'm taking my swing here. Personally Slut and Whore are two words I'm not fond of because they are abrasively applying a scarlet A to a woman for her sexuality, which I would rather celebrate then denigrate.
Or at least I've said that until recently. Unfortunately I believe Social Media in part muddies the issue.
So unfortunately, I present a couple of areas where a line is often crossed:
1) The so-called "Attention Whore" I think there are a ton of women out there with fragile egos who will do anything for attention, and between "Jerry Springer" style talk shows and (even more applicable) Facebook, Twitter, etc they have a venue to make a spectacle of themselves. Okay, there is no exchange of sex for money here so maybe on the surface 'attention slut' would be a better term, but on further examination there is a transaction involved: Egregiously inappropriate sexual behavior for attention, Once again, if its all about where to put the pink meat missile some men would find these women intriguing instead of repulsive but I think most of the girls who put a scarlet A on themselves on Facebook or Montel Williams are to be avoided, because they also fall under the title of Drama Queen. In other words, Shit they start sticks to all people surrounding them including their partners, the families of their partners and the spouses or girlfriends of that poor SOB who is clueless that boinking this sort of woman is asking to be part of a train wreck. Someone mentioned lack of discretion-involvement with girls who share this mind set is an accident waiting to happen.
2) Gold-diggers would deserve the word whore. A sex worker is a service provider , but girls who are technically civilians who set out to use sex as a weapon and deceitfully or manipulatively try to con guys into getting something that was not consensual-- I may be inclined to use the term whore. We're talking blackmail, we're talking the girls who form liaisons with lonely seniors to take their inheritance. Hell, to a degree this is EXACTLY the category strip club ROB's fall into : The ones who make promises they have no intention on delivering.
Again, These aren't words I use lightly because of the Scarlet A factor, personally I think the line where they are appropriate is when the lady in question totally disrespects herself and her associates on one hand and her partners and their associates on the other.
I think age may be a factor here as well. When I was growing up about four hundred years ago, calling a woman a slut or a whore was about as vile a double-standard condemnation as there was. Never could understand guys who chased skirts using those terms - did they think that their maleness somehow made them better?
@poledancer when I say sleazy in public I mean how she ACTS. I know quite a few ladies that like to wear booty shorts in the summer because they dark skinned and their skin plus long clothing creates too much heat to handle. I.E. excessive touching on fellas, constant flirtation, with touching involved (does not have to touch private parts), excessive use of pet names and excessive suggested body language
alternatively you can have a high sex drive and not be a slut, but then as far as particular gender is concerned, it's perception. But keeping yourself reserved, clean and upkeeping with protection you can just be a nympho.
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A whore fucks everybody except you
I think it comes from the reference point of male privilege and/or patriarchy. Although men or woman can equally apply the label in that scenario. I also feel it's a shaming tactic, hence, "slut shaming" is a thing. To me, a slut conjures up images of a person (usually a woman) with low standards or multiple casual partners.
The double standard is, a male-slut or a man-whore will often receive (veiled) praise.
Women in monogamous or exclusive relationships use slut shaming to stave off competition, and control access to sex, in order to control or reserve power of their partner. Since access to the pussy often entails access to her partner's money.
Men use slut shaming to reaffirm their control over and access to a (or any) woman's sexuality. (See male privilege).
In other news, since when was there a joking aspect of calling a girl a slut? I thought you females hammered into us men that calling you a slut/whore/bitch/hoe was a demeaning word and is not looked upon jokingly, appraisingly or any other positive emotion? Is there some exemption I don't know about?
Irrespective of that, I shy away from the term because of the perjorative connotation it's taken on in the last few decades. It's now even worse than "slut" is.
For me, slut and whore both are, as Subraman related, merely shaming tactics for women who like sex. Since there's nothing wrong with liking sex, it says more about the person who uses those words than it does about the person to whom they are being applied.
I am a slut.
When a relationship I've had ends bad, that girl automatically turns into a whore. Well maybe she really isn't a whore but that's the word I use when referring to her from here on out.
Poledancer,
I think the girls using it is about "taking the term back" so men can't use it in a sexist way. I see women calling each other slut, whore, hoe/ho, bitch, etc. all of the time. In the context, it is almost like a term of endearment. For that you could almost use/subsitute the term "on point." How about this example?
DANCER_1: Bitch, how do I look tonight?
DANCER_2: Hoe, don't call me a bitch. You look like a total slut tonight.
DANCER_1: Thank you. =) You look like a total slut, too.
DANCER_2: Thx.
Poledancer --> "Do you consider dancers to be slut because they show off there bodies?"
Nope. I respect anyone who has the ovaries/balls to get out there with stilettos, a thong, pay a house fee, and try to make money off us PLs.
Poledancer --> "Are girls sluts based on number of sex partners, baby daddies, babies, or what other means makes a girl a slut."
historically? the number of partners I guess. What the threshold? I don't know. I don't use the term.
Poledancer --> "Is it a lifestyle of all the above or some of the above."
I think the "haters" also (want to believe) that the higher the average partners a slut has (again, who gets to set the threshold?), is mainly due to her having lower standards and/or her dressing promiscuously. I think that inference is because the "haters" are jealous.
Poledancer --> "I mean a lot like a lot lol of people have seen me in my birthday suit and I have had a lot of partners but is that alone enough to justify it."
To a "hater"? Sure. But to me? I don't give a fuck. It's not my place to be judgmental and label you. If you want to use the term slut on yourself as a term of endearment, sure, I can acknowledge that.
Thanks for this post. I've frequently thought about this question.
Before joining the strip club scene, I just accepted the societal norm that full spectrum of sex workers are bad people, simply sluts and whores. After spending time with sex workers ranging from those who wear more in a club than they would on a beach (no touch bikini clubs), to providers sucking and fucking 40-50 guys a day (Amsterdam Red Light District), I fully respect these professionals, as they render a valuable service. In the non-professional world, I don't judge anyone based on their sexual proclivities.
I fully agree with Dominic77, who best articulated the traditional double standard regarding male and female sexuality. Slut, whore and other derogatory labels are really meaningless.
On the other hand, whores/hoes are simply women who have sexual relations for profit.
Or at least I've said that until recently. Unfortunately I believe Social Media in part muddies the issue.
So unfortunately, I present a couple of areas where a line is often crossed:
1) The so-called "Attention Whore" I think there are a ton of women out there with fragile egos who will do anything for attention, and between "Jerry Springer" style talk shows and (even more applicable) Facebook, Twitter, etc they have a venue to make a spectacle of themselves. Okay, there is no exchange of sex for money here so maybe on the surface 'attention slut' would be a better term, but on further examination there is a transaction involved: Egregiously inappropriate sexual behavior for attention, Once again, if its all about where to put the pink meat missile some men would find these women intriguing instead of repulsive but I think most of the girls who put a scarlet A on themselves on Facebook or Montel Williams are to be avoided, because they also fall under the title of Drama Queen. In other words, Shit they start sticks to all people surrounding them including their partners, the families of their partners and the spouses or girlfriends of that poor SOB who is clueless that boinking this sort of woman is asking to be part of a train wreck. Someone mentioned lack of discretion-involvement with girls who share this mind set is an accident waiting to happen.
2) Gold-diggers would deserve the word whore. A sex worker is a service provider , but girls who are technically civilians who set out to use sex as a weapon and deceitfully or manipulatively try to con guys into getting something that was not consensual-- I may be inclined to use the term whore. We're talking blackmail, we're talking the girls who form liaisons with lonely seniors to take their inheritance. Hell, to a degree this is EXACTLY the category strip club ROB's fall into : The ones who make promises they have no intention on delivering.
Again, These aren't words I use lightly because of the Scarlet A factor, personally I think the line where they are appropriate is when the lady in question totally disrespects herself and her associates on one hand and her partners and their associates on the other.
2)
I think age may be a factor here as well. When I was growing up about four hundred years ago, calling a woman a slut or a whore was about as vile a double-standard condemnation as there was. Never could understand guys who chased skirts using those terms - did they think that their maleness somehow made them better?