Daddy Issues?
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
One of the issues that I've faced in on line dating are age issues. Basically I don't want 85% of the women my age because they are ugly. And often fat. Make that 95%. Turns out this is not a problem. In your on line dating profile, you set the age of the people you want to meet. I put women 35 to 55, which is more or less my age and back 20 years. It originally said 25 - 55 but I changed it. I've had tons of success going back about 10 -12 years, which is early to mid 40s age range. So many reasonably attractive women in this age range have messaged me that I haven't even had time to pursue the matches that the site regularly sends me.
It turns out that the vast majority of women identify an age range in their profile that is 10-15 years older than themselves. So the typical 50 yo woman says that she is looking for men aged 50-60 or maybe 50-65. The numbers range for women is incredibly consistent. They almost never say they are looking for a man younger than themselves, and they almost always say they want a guy who is up to 10 or 15 years older than themselves. It's like all of the women exchanged a memo and all agreed to seek only this category of older men.
These age ranges hold true in the women making contact with me. The average woman who messages me is about 42 - 47 years old. Only once has a woman older than me ever messaged me. That was kind of funny. I'll post the story maybe. But I've had a few dozen women in their 40s seek me out. And I've already got dates with three of them.
I realize that women could be lying about their ages but I think that's unlikely on any large scale. These women almost all want a relationship, they are all into authenticity, and they are very wary of men lying in their profiles. They are not the types to be blatantly lying about themselves. Sure their pics might be a little old or touched up, but I don't think most of them are blatantly lying about objectively verifiable facts like age.
I don't see guys profiles, but several women have told me that guys are always looking for younger women. No surprise there. No woman has ever acted surprised or upset that I'm seeking women so much younger than myself.bthey clearly expect and accept that.
So what I'm wondering is this. Why are women mostly seeking out guys 10-15 years older than themselves? I really didn't expect this. I know that strippers fuck older guys, but I wasn't aware that civies are apparently following this trend as well.
I'm wondering why are women almost universally going for older men on line? Is it some widespread daddy issues phenomenon, or are women just genuinely attracted to older men? Or have women just acquiesced to the fact that men want younger women so they go for older men because they've given up on getting a man their own age? This is clearly not just women coming after my money because their profiles almost uniformly state that they are looking for only older men. I can count on one hand the number of women's profiles in which they are seeking a man even a few years younger than themselves.
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Girls want older men because they perceive that older men have more money. I think in most cases that's it. Not stability and safety just money. Plus most probably think older guys will want sex less.
Girls do not want to date a guy younger than them because it makes them feel inferior. After all you can't be considered a "trophy wife" if you're with a younger guy. Most women want to be considered a trophy wife even though they don't want to admit it.
Reminds me of how many strippers I've heard over the years say they will not go after younger guys in the club. Aside from the fact that they assume the younger guys don't have money to spend, younger guys (especially attractive ones) make older strippers feel inferior. One stripper told me once she imagines most of these guys wives/girlfriends are hotter than her.
I imagine older women feel the same way.
Lastly there's the old unwritten rules:
1. women are simply more mature than men. Therefore a woman should find a man at least 5 years older than her and they will be an the same maturity level.
2. Men age better than women. Therefore a woman should marry a man older than her so when they age they look similar. Like JS69 had said how many times have you seen a guy whose 60 who is in shape and looks good for his age, but his wife looks like an old hag.
to Shailyn money equals safety and stability the world over, I don't know if I agree that they think older men aren't sexually active, I certainly, am so are many of the posters here look at Shadowcat, John Smith, and Vince Micheal all of us are over 50-some are in their 70s maybe more I'm not sure.
I'll verify what JS is saying, I've been online dating for a few years, and most women's target age range is from their current age to about 25% higher (sometimes 30%).
Girls do mature way faster (in general ) than guys so, Ya I can see me in my 40's with a late 20 something year old. Actually seems pretty natural to me. But older than 10 years I do get some daddy issues vibe.
Two-five: ya, I agree, but given that I am quite qualified to expound on this, having gotten a C- in Psychology 101 back in my freshman year in college, I'm wondering if some things are getting confused. In particular, of COURSE there's nothing wrong with women who had good relationships with their fathers, to look for similar relationships in their partners. That's what every good father hopes and strives for -- to set a model of love and respect that his daughter will look for in future partners. And typically, that manifests itself by a woman finding a good man, usually in what is a typical age range.
Women dating men 2 or 3 times their age, are manifesting exactly the opposite: they had bad relationships with their fathers, which leaves some lifelong damage in any child's life, and they're trying to fill that void with the older man. Emotionally healthy 22-year-olds are not dating 55-year-olds because they want to re-create their relationship with their father, they're doing it because they're emotionally unhealthy and looking to build a good father relationship with ... anyone.
On the upside, there'd be no DSes without bad fathers :)
me personally I have a 3 year limit range rule as far as older guys go. I prefer older than my current age range simply cause most guys my age still do not have a brain and I like guys who are more mature.
This is very true. I just talked to DS II the other day about her relationship with her father. She said jokingly that their bad relationship is probably why she's a stripper. But I think she recognized that there was a lot of truth in that statement.
And I've known from the beginning that the DS has a horrible relationship with her father. He's overbearing, judgmental, harsh, everything that a young girl hates. I've often wondered if he sexually abused her.
SJG
SJG
The next two were 9 and 6 years younger than me respectively so I've seen both ends of the spectrum. But I don't think any of them went out with me because I was older. I like to think it was my looks and winning personality. :-)