Should I be pissed about this?

John's in love.

John's next meltdown is pending.

It's disrespectful. You have no business being jealous of her or telling her who she fucks or can text on her own time, and I"ll take you at your word that you're okay with that. But that's not what's happened . It may be a case of her just being clueless rather than malicious, but it's disrespectful, IMO. I don't remotely believe she ignored his text, and deep down neither do you, but that really isn't the issue -- there's nothing wrong with her meeting and texting and fucking any guy she wants. Just not when you're paying her to be focused on you -- assuming you feel that that should be part of the service you're paying for. For me, I love it that my current OTC girl creates a wave of turned heads everywhere she goes, and is pretty much unattainable. (although she and I are not jealous of each other, and often swap sex stories about sex partners we met ON OUR OWN TIME).

At minimum, I'd take her aside and tell her (reworded in a way she won't feel attacked): " I'm paying you for your time, and part of the thrill for me is that you're entirely focused on me, and unattainable by everyone else, and I feel disrespected and unappreciated when you exchange numbers with guys in front of me. None of my business who you fuck or text or anything else on your time, but don't disrespect me on my paid time." Again, obviously worded completely differently, but that's the content of the message.

-->"As an aside, DS II would never do this I don't think. But she's not the total sexual freak that DS I is either. So perhaps this is the price you sometimes must pay to fuck a freak?"

This is exactly the kind of thing I catch myself asking myself, when my ATF disrespects or otherwise fucks me over, and I'm trying to justify to myself why I let myself be treated like a bitch, but am still going to go back. I may be projecting a bit :) But no, this is not the price you must pay.

So when did you get married to her?

The ceremony was last week. Sorry I forgot to mention it.

I think I would avoid saying anything to her until you get back home. It could be a very long remaining time and ride home with her pissed off.

WTF did I do that was controlling Rech. I simply asked her what she was doing when she left me. She told me, and I never mentioned it again. She brought it up briefly once and that's it.

We are home. So if I mentioned it, it would be before the next trip.

-->"Subra, they're on a trip together. Does she never get a minute off the clock?"

Heh, well yes, of course, and I probably over-rotating on my response. But not with the guy who is paying for her standing right there watching the whole thing. I'm a little shocked at the responses -- to me it's practically a no-brainer that she does not pick up guys who she may be fucking for free, right in front of the guy who is paying for her. The simple courtesy of "If I'm going to fuck a guy for free, I'll do it when John isn't standing right there" seems like common sense ... I still think she treated him like a bitch.

Yeah I wouldn't mention it on the trip or else things might go badly and she might begin to resent you. But yeah, I've always thought any sexual service (escorting, stripping, sugaring) the woman (or man--whoevers giving the service) should focus on the one person they're with atm.

Really, it's just a better business approach if anything, no one likes feeling shared.

Agree 100% with subra. He's paying for a service. Part of that service is devotion. If he hasn't made that clear he has to do it in no uncertain terms. If she can't handle that, he needs to either cut her loose or redefine the terms of the service too something that is mutually acceptable. If unable to do that he is back to cutting her off.

she didn't meet him or fuck him or do anything with him but maybe text him. I seriously doubt she would ever even try to do any of those things with me there. She just likes the power she has over guys and likes having them desire her. I know this about her, it's just that she's never done it so blatantly in front of me before.

John you seem like a reasonable, upstanding citizen. I think your best bet is to let me bang her to get it out of her system. You can watch if you would like to and I will treat her right. Hitting all the right spots and such. If you are ever interested in being a cuckhold let me know. I am young, successful, and probably her type. I will respect all boundaries that you set so not to worry my friend. If you don't want me to bang her for you then I would probably do the same to her and find an even hotter girl with the opposite hair color and bigger tits. Always works out. Good luck brother!

Exactly flagooner. I think I made a mistake using inflammatory language ... really, best to think of this in terms of service. He's got a right to ask for whatever service he wants, she's got a right to say yes or no to the terms. I do think it is possible for John and DS to discuss this in non-inflammatory language.

anongirl: " I've always thought any sexual service (escorting, stripping, sugaring) the woman (or man--whoevers giving the service) should focus on the one person they're with atm. " Again, I think that what you just said is commonly understood and common sense. In fact, I'd bet you could even go to StripperWeb and pose this question, and even they would say that doing this in front of your best client is not good business.

Oh. And for the original question...

I would feel disrespected regardless of your specific understanding. I feel if a lady is with me then it it's disrespectful for her to flirt with another guy, the same way as it would be for me to flirt with another girl, without prior agreement.

You are being played big time you would do well to watch your back. There is nobody normal alive that wouldn't think you just got dissed big time. The fact that you can tell yourself that she didn't know tells me you are delusional ,who the fuck would gives their phone number to another guy while on vacation with you? Only someone who is ripping you off. I personally would tell her to get the fuck away from me, let him pay for her trip home fuck that shit damn John stop being such a pussy.

Finally.... If she just gets off by the power of turning guys on, why give the real number?

I agree flagooner...that my cock looks like your avatar.

Same size to scale and everything

Yeah, in regards to flagooner she didn't have to give him her real #. I'm sure she's not planning anything with him, unless he's paying her to come there (highly doubt that) but going up to a guy and making the initial "move" is barely him lusting over her, she started it. Maybe she wants to make you jealous (not in a spiteful way, maybe to make you "work" harder for her--buy her more stuff, blah blah).

@JS: Take a small fraction of the money you're pissing away on strippers and get yourself a good psychotherapist. Heaven knows you need it.

Do you complain when a car salesman answers the phone and says "Let me take your number and I'll get back to you?"

Do you complain when a waitress responds to another table with "Be there in a minute?"

Unless you specified, and she agreed, that there would be no contact with other guys on the trip, then I don't think there's any reason to feel disrespected or get pissed about this. Doing so will only make you upset and put a damper on what sounds like an otherwise nice little trip.

Let it go.

To anon-that is ridiculous make him jealous, not in a spiteful way. Please if anyone ever did that to me I'd be done with them in a New York minute. As far as I'm concerned she's nothing but a whore.

To GMD who the hell would need to specify not to be messing with other guys on a trip I'm paying for, that should go without saying WTF John dump her ass now before she does something stupider if that's even possible.

25- I'm not justifying what she did at all, I guess I could've cut out the "spiteful" bit. My initial thought was that she was making him jealous in a teasing manner, some guys are into that--which wouldn't be spiteful. But then as I was typing i remembered girls can sometimes be pretty evil and that's where I changed my direction to more exploiting him.

The past is the past. It really comes down to how you want/expect to be treated moving forward. Don't allow her to set this as an acceptable precedent or she will continue to treat you like a bitch and you would be the one to blame.

John, you get jealous like me. Are you a Scorpio?

In short..yes John you should be a little pissed. You are paying for the entire trip and her time. Its disrespectful in my book. Its not too much to expect her to be "with you" when you are together. If she wss going to do shit like she should have had enough respect to at least hide it.

Id tell her how you feel about it and she would either make it up to me in a big way(dont know how) or she would be gone. DS or no DS.

JS: Absolutely she did this to get a reaction out of you. If it was an isolated event, I would play it off during the trip and mention it only once upon return. Would not want this to turn into a "thing" requiring endless discussion. She'll either get it or she won't. You definitely have a right to be annoyed. She is on your dime and should be able to resist flirting until she is alone. Remember, there is an endless supply of beautiful young women that would like to be treated like you treat the DS.

This is a tough one, both sides have valid points. I think if she wasn't my girlfriend, then I would just let it go.

And JS69 was making fun of me for getting too involved with Purple Dress Car Washing Donna. He is 1000x more involved with each of his DS's.

SJG

Your an old fart who doesn't remember what it's like to be young, good looking, and horny. There I said it. You are the meal ticket and she's been around long enough to know you'll give her money regardless. So why not fuck hot young bucks like me?

^^^^ that's exactly what she's thinking. Doing it in front of him may have been a test, just to see what she can get away with. She's done worse before and he came back.

@25 of course she's a whore. She's getting paid for sex. WTF did you think?

-->" ^^^^ that's exactly what she's thinking. Doing it in front of him may have been a test, just to see what she can get away with. She's done worse before and he came back. "

Exactly. She metaphorically bent him over the kitchen table when she broke his heart that first time. She slid in "just the tip, just to see how it feels" by getting young buck's number in front of John. After this comes "all the way in", and if John takes that, the triumphant final phase, "Bitch, make me a sandwich!"

:) :)

You're not jealous.

I dunno...

You're paying for her to fuck you. It seems like the issue here is it pops your fantasy bubble a bit.

Move on or put up with it. She's not your girlfriend

To esta I never thought anything different don't know where that came from JS is the only one here that doesn't think that

Thanks for the input even though, as usual, there really is no agreement. Those who attribute malicious motives to her are wrong, although given everyone's experiences with strippers I can understand why you'd think that.

I'm inclined to drop it this time since any discussion would take place long after the fact and make it sound like I'm unreasonably holding a grudge. Then Rech might be right that I'm controlling. But if it happens again I'll speak up at the time and make clear that it's not acceptable behavior.

And obviously, as in all things, i'll get the advice of my psychotherapist before making any final decision. I thought that was so obvious that I didn't need to mention it.

--->"And obviously, as in all things, i'll get the advice of my psychotherapist before making any final decision. I thought that was so obvious that I didn't need to mention it."

Wait, you haven't even talked to him yet? I was certain that he had you write this post was part of your therapy :)

@JS69 not sure what you were expecting, to have everyone agree with you. Everyone here has individual ideals of how things should be run.

"The ceremony was last week. Sorry I forgot to mention it."

Brilliant reply!

Seriously though, if something like this bothers you I'd just ask her not to do it while you're around!

I can understand why you might be offended if she talks to lions that wear suits, since you and rickthelion had some sort of rivalry, but with a random (non-lion) person I don't see the big deal!

Sorry! I couldn't resist!

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

Getting pissed off is better than getting pissed on

It's all about respect to me man. If you are paying her she should be with you at least during the time you are together there. it doesn't matter if she is on a beach in FLA or at applebees around the corner from your house. Once i was out with a stripper and we were sitting on the patio at a local bar eating and drinking patron. I went inside to get us another shot and some asshole tried to talk to her. He asked if I was her BF and she said it didn't matter she was out with me at the moment. Thats respect. Your DS is disrespectful in my opinion. Seems like you have plenty of money and already a DS2 i'd teach her a lesson and dump her ass.

When a man is completely dependent upon the behavior of and approval from women, then they can wrap you around their fingers and get you to do crazy things like marry them.

Most of us have been through this, and learned.

But JS69 is still dependent on women. He has lots of money and so he tries to use that to manage them and he definitely maintains a continual supply of backups.

But JS69 has not even begun the very hard work of finding his own direction.

Right now JS69 still has more dollars than sense.

SJG

"He asked if I was her BF and she said it didn't matter she was out with me at the moment. Thats respect. Your DS is disrespectful in my opinion."

That's how my ATF acts. Agree completely from top to bottom, and I also think it is common sense that that's the protocol

My take on this is that JS 69 is delusional and gets his rocks off being a doormat.

He's mad because he saw another guy getting attention from the DS that he didn't have to pay for, and in fact the DS craves attention from the young man in question.

She also demonstrated very little respect, appreciation or regard for you in the process. No she didn't ignore his text, yes every time you turned your head she was snap chatting and sending him dirty pics.

Yes she values that guy over you, maybe not your money, but seems like she's back to thinking she doesn't need your money that much again

She was never innocent, and yes you let your ego get caught up.

Money doesn't buy loyalty/love/like or respect.

Remember the moment money exchange it was a lease of her time and body, you only have that.

And while you're a great customer, maybe her favorite, you're just a customer.

John...find a nice 30yo their still very young for your age, and sexy. And could actually envision themselves wanting a pseudo relationship with you

I said it seemed disrespectful. The only reason I said nothing at the time is because I was so surprised and unprepared for it. If it happens again I'll put a quick end to it. That's not being a doormat.

Lol, the reactions on here are either saying he gets walked on or he's too caught up in feelings! Talk about confusing!!

Lol, remind me to not ask you guys which color wire to cut when diffusing a bomb ;-)

Why do you guys hang out with strippers if you dislike and distrust all of them so intensely? GACA, you're wrong on all points. She showed me her texts from him. He sent her several non sexual messages. Her communications back to him consisted of one word "Hi."

JS69 Texts can be deleted to create the illusion she didnt respond. I'd either give the "I'm paying you for your time, and part of the thrill for me is that you're entirely focused on me, and unattainable by everyone else, and I feel disrespected and unappreciated when you exchange numbers with guys in front of me. None of my business who you fuck or text or anything else on your time, but don't disrespect me on my paid time." speech subraman gave you, or you have to devise a way to make her jealous by spending $ on other women at a SC infront of her. Take her on a date to a random SC, as your "GF" of the night, she has to sit next to you and watch while you tip and watch the stage dancers or get public LDs in your seat from a stripper.

I don't pay people for their time or sexual services so I am not familiar with expectations in those situations. If I was paying someone by the hour and they said they had to take a call, I would hope it would be quick or that minute or two was subtracted from the hour so I was not overcharged. however if the rate I paid was only $50 an hour versus say $100 an hour to not be interrupted at all, I'd probably opt to let them take a quick call unless you really did not want to be interrupted at all and thought you were paying top dollar. I guess in JS69's case, he may think he's paying top dollar. I forgot in my comment above that he was paying her for her time. I never do that so forget what I said about being married.

John

I hang out with strippers because it makes me way less flustered and horny when hanging out with actual civie girls. It give me that "not impressed" edge I need when at the regular bars and clubs.

If this was not the case, I wouldn't hang out with strippers.

@Anongirls getting caught up in feeling generally equals being a doormat

"Lol, remind me to not ask you guys which color wire to cut when diffusing a bomb ;-)"

Lol

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What the hell happen here

What the hell happen here

What the hell happen here

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red, haha. or was that blue?

I should have just said Yes.

Stay around and tell us about the fight and breakup.

No, you shouldn't. Know your value and if anything, tease her about it. The more freedom you give her the more fun she'll give you.

Crazyjoe you're gonna get yourself banned with all that spamming!

Why does everyone get mad at me when there are people like crazy Joe and nigolbitty???

@clackport...Just following orders. My evil twin told me to

^^^^ Must have been Missionary that encouraged him.

JS you asked the question " should I be pissed" and you may have gotten some varied opinions on here but I think the consensus is "yes" you should! She is punking you man. Treating you Disrespectful like her bitch. The bottom line is these women really don't have the upmost respect for men who are paying them for sex when it comes down to it. don't let her do that shit. You have other options.

JS - I know I'm late to the party but here's my two cents. What she did made you feel the way you felt regardless of whether you should have felt that way or not. Don't over think your feelings. The question is how should you handle it. Getting pissed at her would only exacerbate the situation and you could lose her services which you don't want to happen. So you can relay to her that when you're paying her for her time, that time should be focused on you and not on other guys. She can do that all she wants in her own time. If she doesn't agree to those terms then you can look at other options, but I get the feeling she will agree to it based on what you pay her.
I'm a no drama type of guy and this situation is wrought with drama if you act jealous or get pissed over it. Let it go, establish parameters for future get togethers and keep fucking her for as long as you can.

rh, thanks. Well thought out answer.

In a very perverse way, it does seem weird to not have dougster call me a faggot. Maybe something did happen to the old curmudgeon.

Joe, WTF?

Time toget high now.

"Basically this just strikes me as disrespectful, and I can't recall any time in the past where I thought she treated me disrespectfully."

Really, though? How about her no-show she pulled on you a few months back...which involved you traveling and she didn't even TEXT you. Regardless of whatever reason she ended up having, that was disrespectful. Period.

Unfortunately I get the feeling she's perfectly aware of how in lust you are and she feels like she's the one who holds the power. As long as she feels like she can call the shots and never do anything that will get her permanently cut off, I just don't think she gives a shit about respect. I'm not trying to be a bitch, it just seems really obvious that she feels like the one with the power in your arrangement- and she's going to keep pushing limits.

Dayb, yeah that was the ultimate act of disrespect. When I said she had never done such a thing before, I just meant never in person on one of our dates like this.

I get what you're saying, and there's some truth to it. I have given her too much power. But the incident with the cell phone no has been blown way out of proportion because I bitched about it. The other 99.9 percent of the trip she was phenomenal. I just don't share those positive details much anymore because most people are tired of hearing those stories and will just say I'm in love. So I dig up the small amount of crap with her instead.

John I have a legit question about all of this bullshit that you put yourself through. I understand that you paid for the trip bought her lots of nice stuff and all. But how much money did you pay her on top of all of that? I understand if you'd rather not say but gee whiz man why would you let her do you like that?

John, if you are in New York again, please come visit me on a slow night. I am damn curious to look at the pictures of DS, just to see how woman who drove you so crazy looks like.

Will be in New York*

JS69,

Are you a grown man or a Jr. High School kid? Put on your big boy pants and deal with it! These "stories" are quite "trollish"!

--->" But the incident with the cell phone no has been blown way out of proportion because I bitched about it."

Well yes, of course, there's so little actual SC content on the forum, that when there is some, we need to sink our teeth in, and punish whoever has the temerity to post actual content that might make themselves vulnerable :)

My summary is: it was disrespectful, and more than a little so. I wouldn't get all hysterical about it, but at the right time I would find some way to casually discuss it without blowing it out of proportion, and emphasizing the disrespect part and service expectations part, not insecurity & jealousy

My bonus summary is: anyone remember the Church of the SubGenius, whose motto was, "we pull the wool over our own eyes"? I think you're far too smart to believe "she just likes teasing guys", or that she didn't erase her return texts before she showed you the conversation. I've been there with a stripper too, but not for about 5 years, thank God... turned out, all the stuff I chose to believe on the surface but knew deep down wasn't true -- well, deep down is turns out to be far smarter than surface!

I want to know what Juice would do in this situation. WWJD?

I'll also add: I'm glad you post these kinds of things, JS. I think it's interesting to see the range of reactions. I think that aside from some outliers, there was hazy consensus that it was disrespectful, but even then, no agreement on what you should do about it.

The texting ap she uses does not allow the selective deletion of text conversations. You either delete the entire conversation or nothing at all. I know for certain because it's the same ap that I use. Strippers are not always evil, wicked people who are trying to lie, cheat, and steal with every act.

John, the notion that someone is using a texting app that does not allow selective deletion of particular texts, is actually MORE unbelievable than the notion that she didn't delete them. Are you guys using those little throwaway phones from 2005 where you have to hit each number key X amount of times to type a letter? I'm actually blown away that such texting apps exist, and that anyone would use them! Live and learn!

Where're you the one with the post about how you were surprised that beautiful women don't rule the world? Prophetic!

There's a few ways to deal with disrespect. One effective way is to deny her attention and $$. What could backfire on you because quite frankly I don't know how attractive she is nor know how magical her pussy is. What was it Philip Stuckey said about Vivian in the film Pretty Woman? (tongue in cheek, sarcasm, but you get the point). She may turn around and shut you down. Maybe power/respect go hand in hand? If so, then Tony Montana (Scarface) would say you need the power before you can get the woman. (Money --> Power --> Women).

I try to reclaim the respect, myself. I don't like getting punked by someone on my payroll.

Geez, all you conspiracy putzes are something else.

It seems highly likely to me that this was an unthinking act in her part, and that she meant no overt disrespect, nor was she testing you, nor asserting her independence or any other hostile act.

By all means, keep it in mind for the future, if you're worried about, and at least express some displeasure if it becomes a pattern, but otherwise, I repeat: let it go.

"My take on this is that JS 69 is delusional and gets his rocks off being a doormat. "

Well yes, he thinks that because he controls the money that he controls the women. Such foolishness!

JS69, I am not down on strippers. I don't separate the dancers from strip clubs away from other women. If you want to engage with them, you have to get real yourself. Money does not solve the problems. And marijuana doesn't improve anything.

SJG

I know a lot are by crazyjoe, but wow. 180 comments.

JS69 you know I am not one who is getting down on you about the DS. Like I told you, I'd be doing the same! Live it up and fuck her until you can't anymore! (and I do mean that literally) ;) I guess when I read this post, knowing some of her recent behavior, it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. But honestly if the rest of the trip was amazing and she was professional and fulfilling, I agree with gmd to let it go. It sounds like otherwise it was a great trip.

John, yes it was disrespectful. I haven't read this whole thread and don't really care to. I think you know by now I'm a straight shooter and don't have an opinion on your activities one way or the other. You do you.

When you're paying for her time she is on the clock and should be focused 100% on you. Even if it's a weeks vacation somewhere she's still on the clock 24/7. She may like to flirt or network but doing it during her time with you is a major faux pas. You have to remember though, she is a lot younger than you and it seems every new generation loses more and more manners. Bringing it up now is pointless. That's one of those things that should be addressed as soon as it happens. Even then you have to walk a fine line because she is providing a service and she can simply stop providing that service. In all honesty if she was just flirting with the guy getting her jollies and she never did anything with him after that while y'all were there I'd just let it go. Forget about it and move on to a new day. If it seems to happen again and again on different outings and it bothers you then I'd say you really need to address it and let her know you feel she's being rude and disrespectful to you. I wouldn't make a huge deal about it but just let her know you've seen her doing it and don't appreciate it and would like her to not do that when she is out with you. Don't drag it out and make it a huge conversation. State your feelings, state what you want and then let it go. Leave the ball in her court to correct the way she is acting.