Should I be pissed about this?
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
DS and I are doing an organized group activity on our trip together. Afterwards she walks back to talk to the guy in charge, not telling me where she's going or what she's doing. He's a handsome young guy who is exactly her type. They talk for a minute while I wait for her, and then I see him putting her number in his phone. This is done out in the open with me standing 50 feet away.
She comes back and I ask wtf. She's says it's no big deal. Basically it boils down to the fact that she gets off on having hot young guys lusting for her body. She says she won't even respond to his texts and of course I know that she would never see him while with me. And yes I thought that I knew that about her. But she's never given a guy her number in front of me before. And we are a thousand miles from home so she'll never see this guy again if not now.
She later volunteers that he texted her but says she ignored him. So far as I know this was the truth. She was definitely never alone long enough to ever meet him, and I'm sure she didn't.
I know this is very basic SS. But I hold this one to a much higher standard than other strippers, and I pay her extra because of it. Nevertheless, she's no longer the sweet young innocent inexperienced barely out of high school girl that I met at a strip club a year and a half ago. This little bit of SS demonstrates her slide.
I'm not in love, and I'm not jealous. I know she fucks hot young guys and girls, and shes told me some of those sex stories. So all of the usual "Johns in love" responses will be way off the mark. I'm very deeply in lust, nothing more. Basically this just strikes me as disrespectful, and I can't recall any time in the past where I thought she treated me disrespectfully.
So am I right to be a little pissed about this, or am I just being a boring old fart who doesn't remember what it's like to be young, good looking, and horny? Should I mention to her what should be obvious but apparently isn't which is that I expect her to not openly flirt with other guys when I'm paying her to be with me? Or is it just the price you pay for fucking strippers so I should just get used to it and get over it?
As an aside, DS II would never do this I don't think. But she's not the total sexual freak that DS I is either. So perhaps this is the price you sometimes must pay to fuck a freak?
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171 comments
John's next meltdown is pending.
At minimum, I'd take her aside and tell her (reworded in a way she won't feel attacked): " I'm paying you for your time, and part of the thrill for me is that you're entirely focused on me, and unattainable by everyone else, and I feel disrespected and unappreciated when you exchange numbers with guys in front of me. None of my business who you fuck or text or anything else on your time, but don't disrespect me on my paid time." Again, obviously worded completely differently, but that's the content of the message.
-->"As an aside, DS II would never do this I don't think. But she's not the total sexual freak that DS I is either. So perhaps this is the price you sometimes must pay to fuck a freak?"
This is exactly the kind of thing I catch myself asking myself, when my ATF disrespects or otherwise fucks me over, and I'm trying to justify to myself why I let myself be treated like a bitch, but am still going to go back. I may be projecting a bit :) But no, this is not the price you must pay.
Heh, well yes, of course, and I probably over-rotating on my response. But not with the guy who is paying for her standing right there watching the whole thing. I'm a little shocked at the responses -- to me it's practically a no-brainer that she does not pick up guys who she may be fucking for free, right in front of the guy who is paying for her. The simple courtesy of "If I'm going to fuck a guy for free, I'll do it when John isn't standing right there" seems like common sense ... I still think she treated him like a bitch.
Really, it's just a better business approach if anything, no one likes feeling shared.
probably her type. I will respect all boundaries that you set so not to worry my friend. If you don't want me to bang her for you then I would probably do the same to her and find an even hotter girl with the opposite hair color and bigger tits. Always works out. Good luck brother!
anongirl: " I've always thought any sexual service (escorting, stripping, sugaring) the woman (or man--whoevers giving the service) should focus on the one person they're with atm. " Again, I think that what you just said is commonly understood and common sense. In fact, I'd bet you could even go to StripperWeb and pose this question, and even they would say that doing this in front of your best client is not good business.
I would feel disrespected regardless of your specific understanding. I feel if a lady is with me then it it's disrespectful for her to flirt with another guy, the same way as it would be for me to flirt with another girl, without prior agreement.
I personally would tell her to get the fuck away from me, let him pay for her trip home fuck that shit damn John stop being such a pussy.
Do you complain when a waitress responds to another table with "Be there in a minute?"
Unless you specified, and she agreed, that there would be no contact with other guys on the trip, then I don't think there's any reason to feel disrespected or get pissed about this. Doing so will only make you upset and put a damper on what sounds like an otherwise nice little trip.
Let it go.
SJG
Exactly. She metaphorically bent him over the kitchen table when she broke his heart that first time. She slid in "just the tip, just to see how it feels" by getting young buck's number in front of John. After this comes "all the way in", and if John takes that, the triumphant final phase, "Bitch, make me a sandwich!"
:) :)
I dunno...
You're paying for her to fuck you. It seems like the issue here is it pops your fantasy bubble a bit.
Move on or put up with it. She's not your girlfriend
I'm inclined to drop it this time since any discussion would take place long after the fact and make it sound like I'm unreasonably holding a grudge. Then Rech might be right that I'm controlling. But if it happens again I'll speak up at the time and make clear that it's not acceptable behavior.
And obviously, as in all things, i'll get the advice of my psychotherapist before making any final decision. I thought that was so obvious that I didn't need to mention it.
Wait, you haven't even talked to him yet? I was certain that he had you write this post was part of your therapy :)
Brilliant reply!
I can understand why you might be offended if she talks to lions that wear suits, since you and rickthelion had some sort of rivalry, but with a random (non-lion) person I don't see the big deal!
Sorry! I couldn't resist!
Most of us have been through this, and learned.
But JS69 is still dependent on women. He has lots of money and so he tries to use that to manage them and he definitely maintains a continual supply of backups.
But JS69 has not even begun the very hard work of finding his own direction.
Right now JS69 still has more dollars than sense.
SJG
That's how my ATF acts. Agree completely from top to bottom, and I also think it is common sense that that's the protocol
She also demonstrated very little respect, appreciation or regard for you in the process. No she didn't ignore his text, yes every time you turned your head she was snap chatting and sending him dirty pics.
Yes she values that guy over you, maybe not your money, but seems like she's back to thinking she doesn't need your money that much again
She was never innocent, and yes you let your ego get caught up.
Money doesn't buy loyalty/love/like or respect.
Remember the moment money exchange it was a lease of her time and body, you only have that.
And while you're a great customer, maybe her favorite, you're just a customer.
John...find a nice 30yo their still very young for your age, and sexy. And could actually envision themselves wanting a pseudo relationship with you
Lol, remind me to not ask you guys which color wire to cut when diffusing a bomb ;-)
I hang out with strippers because it makes me way less flustered and horny when hanging out with actual civie girls. It give me that "not impressed" edge I need when at the regular bars and clubs.
If this was not the case, I wouldn't hang out with strippers.
Lol
or was that blue?
Yes.
Stay around and tell us about the fight and breakup.
I'm a no drama type of guy and this situation is wrought with drama if you act jealous or get pissed over it. Let it go, establish parameters for future get togethers and keep fucking her for as long as you can.
In a very perverse way, it does seem weird to not have dougster call me a faggot. Maybe something did happen to the old curmudgeon.
Joe, WTF?
Time toget high now.
Really, though? How about her no-show she pulled on you a few months back...which involved you traveling and she didn't even TEXT you. Regardless of whatever reason she ended up having, that was disrespectful. Period.
Unfortunately I get the feeling she's perfectly aware of how in lust you are and she feels like she's the one who holds the power. As long as she feels like she can call the shots and never do anything that will get her permanently cut off, I just don't think she gives a shit about respect. I'm not trying to be a bitch, it just seems really obvious that she feels like the one with the power in your arrangement- and she's going to keep pushing limits.
I get what you're saying, and there's some truth to it. I have given her too much power. But the incident with the cell phone no has been blown way out of proportion because I bitched about it. The other 99.9 percent of the trip she was phenomenal. I just don't share those positive details much anymore because most people are tired of hearing those stories and will just say I'm in love. So I dig up the small amount of crap with her instead.
Are you a grown man or a Jr. High School kid? Put on your big boy pants and deal with it! These "stories" are quite "trollish"!
Well yes, of course, there's so little actual SC content on the forum, that when there is some, we need to sink our teeth in, and punish whoever has the temerity to post actual content that might make themselves vulnerable :)
My summary is: it was disrespectful, and more than a little so. I wouldn't get all hysterical about it, but at the right time I would find some way to casually discuss it without blowing it out of proportion, and emphasizing the disrespect part and service expectations part, not insecurity & jealousy
My bonus summary is: anyone remember the Church of the SubGenius, whose motto was, "we pull the wool over our own eyes"? I think you're far too smart to believe "she just likes teasing guys", or that she didn't erase her return texts before she showed you the conversation. I've been there with a stripper too, but not for about 5 years, thank God... turned out, all the stuff I chose to believe on the surface but knew deep down wasn't true -- well, deep down is turns out to be far smarter than surface!
There's a few ways to deal with disrespect. One effective way is to deny her attention and $$. What could backfire on you because quite frankly I don't know how attractive she is nor know how magical her pussy is. What was it Philip Stuckey said about Vivian in the film Pretty Woman? (tongue in cheek, sarcasm, but you get the point). She may turn around and shut you down. Maybe power/respect go hand in hand? If so, then Tony Montana (Scarface) would say you need the power before you can get the woman. (Money --> Power --> Women).
I try to reclaim the respect, myself. I don't like getting punked by someone on my payroll.
It seems highly likely to me that this was an unthinking act in her part, and that she meant no overt disrespect, nor was she testing you, nor asserting her independence or any other hostile act.
By all means, keep it in mind for the future, if you're worried about, and at least express some displeasure if it becomes a pattern, but otherwise, I repeat: let it go.
Well yes, he thinks that because he controls the money that he controls the women. Such foolishness!
JS69,
I am not down on strippers. I don't separate the dancers from strip clubs away from other women. If you want to engage with them, you have to get real yourself. Money does not solve the problems. And marijuana doesn't improve anything.
SJG
I guess when I read this post, knowing some of her recent behavior, it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. But honestly if the rest of the trip was amazing and she was professional and fulfilling, I agree with gmd to let it go. It sounds like otherwise it was a great trip.
When you're paying for her time she is on the clock and should be focused 100% on you. Even if it's a weeks vacation somewhere she's still on the clock 24/7. She may like to flirt or network but doing it during her time with you is a major faux pas. You have to remember though, she is a lot younger than you and it seems every new generation loses more and more manners. Bringing it up now is pointless. That's one of those things that should be addressed as soon as it happens. Even then you have to walk a fine line because she is providing a service and she can simply stop providing that service. In all honesty if she was just flirting with the guy getting her jollies and she never did anything with him after that while y'all were there I'd just let it go. Forget about it and move on to a new day. If it seems to happen again and again on different outings and it bothers you then I'd say you really need to address it and let her know you feel she's being rude and disrespectful to you. I wouldn't make a huge deal about it but just let her know you've seen her doing it and don't appreciate it and would like her to not do that when she is out with you. Don't drag it out and make it a huge conversation. State your feelings, state what you want and then let it go. Leave the ball in her court to correct the way she is acting.