Ricky walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.
Ricky says, "John, what are you so happy for?"
"Well Ricky, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a gorgeous redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Ricky. Tits out to here! A real dream stripper type. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave. She couldn't swim!"
A couple days pass and John walks into a bar and sees Ricky there crying' over a beer.
John says, "Ricky, what are you so sad for?"
"Well John, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxing' my boat, and the most desirable blond came up to me... tits WAY out to here, John. Tits WAY out to here. I had more wood than my boat does. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, John, way WAY out, just like you did. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'It's either screw or swim!' She pulled down her pants and..." He paused and took a big gulp of beer. "She had a dick, John! She had this great BIG dick! ... and I can't swim John! I can't swim!"
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last commentDave is Ricky. Sorry Ricky.
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Two questions for you JohnSmith69!
First, were you high when you wrote this? The interjection of Dave makes the joke a tad harder to read!
Second, when you mention Ricky, are you referring to rickdugan or rickthelion? I know it can't be rickthevulture because the vulture can fly! And I suppose the lion would have had the option of going "wildebeest" on the trans woman! So it must be rickdugan! Brilliant!
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Yes I was fucking high. Ricky and Dave ate whoever you want them to be.
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Ricky walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.
Ricky says, "John, what are you so happy for?"
"Well Ricky, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a gorgeous redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Ricky. Tits out to here! A real dream stripper type. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave. She couldn't swim!"
A couple days pass and John walks into a bar and sees Ricky there crying' over a beer.
John says, "Ricky, what are you so sad for?"
"Well John, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxing' my boat, and the most desirable blond came up to me... tits WAY out to here, John. Tits WAY out to here. I had more wood than my boat does. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, John, way WAY out, just like you did. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'It's either screw or swim!' She pulled down her pants and..." He paused and took a big gulp of beer. "She had a dick, John! She had this great BIG dick! ... and I can't swim John! I can't swim!"
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Brilliant stuff!
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Never try to tell a joke when you're high.
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^^
It still worked.
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This is the comedians convention you know the one where all the comedians get together once a year. In attendance is a reporter and he is writing a feature for the local newspaper, as the comedians get up from the Dias they stand a shout a number. The first guy gets up and hollers 39,gets a big round of applause then the next comedian arise and whispers 11,anothe large round of laughter erupts in the hall. The reporter looking at this turns to a guy sitting next to him says I don't get it all they do is announce a number the audience goes wild what's up with that. The other guy tells him, "as you know these guys are all working comedians they know all these jokes and when they write them they are assigned a number right now the definitive guide to jokes is up to 100,957,268. and when another joke is written it is assigned the next number" The reporter thinks to himself gee this is easy I just get up and announce a number and I get laughs, patted on the back for being a good guy, I gotta try this. After a short interval there is a lull and the reporter stands taps his water glass and requests the floor. 71 he shouts not a sound 34 he says, you can hear a pin drop. The poor guy sits down mortified says to the other guy I don't get it not even a giggle did I pick numbers that have no jokes how's that. The other guy says you just cant tell a joke! (rimshot)
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