So about pursuing a Dancer

I am new here,

Ive done a ton of reading, I know you never fall in love with a stripper, they are what they are and they dont give a fu** about you. You're a walking ATM and nothing more. I'd be lieing if I said this one was different, but I find myself oddly attracted to her, only gotten one dance from this one dont know a lot about her. I'm enfatuated not even close to love, but ill be honest I've developed feelings. Nothing I can't handle but I want to pursue her.

I'm no tool In the shed I know I'm playing with fire if I do this, often dancers come from broken childhoods and with a relationship comes all of their baggage and drama too. But it's weird. Its like knowing you're going to die if you keep going but you do it anyway. I want to date her knowing full well that I'm entering a world of shi*.

Look ill get to the point. Idgaf if she rejects me, I know she might one up it though and play the emotion game then try to drain me dryer than an 80 year old pu**y.

How do you know it's real? How do I know she's playing me?

I don't plan on spending a lot more money on her and ill drop her the second I think somethings up, but people I want her.

How do I proceed?
Thoughts?

35 comments

  • rockstar666
    9 years ago
    Do you want OTC or a girlfriend? If it's a g/f all I can say is be careful what you wish for. But to answer your question, see her once a week for a month or two, and see how she is. You MAY lose interest, but if not see what her game is. Just have your mindset that she's going to play you, and be one step ahead.
  • san_jose_guy
    9 years ago
    Don't ask those sorts of questions. Just enjoy them and let it happen.

    Always remember though, never treat dancers, strippers, hookers, any differently that you would treat other women. Never ever treat them like prostitutes. Never talk to them like they are selling sex for money.

    SJG
  • Mrbigstuff
    9 years ago
    How long as she been in the business? is she saying she wants to date you outside the club?
  • twentyfive
    9 years ago
    get a white three piece suit to start than check out the system and you should be good to go
  • san_jose_guy
    9 years ago
    Yes, like it or not, women go for guys in suits. I have experienced this time and time again, when not intending it. It seems to apply everywhere.

    I don't want to encourage it, as I don't like the female thinking which underlys it.

    It works in strip clubs, AMPs, retail stores, and walking across the Stanford campus.

    SJG
  • rockstar666
    9 years ago
    SLJ: I wore a suit for a while as that was my work attire at the time and I don't disagree, but when I'm on the prowl these days I wear some of my stage clothes, which consists of very dark blue or black pants, along with a very stylish collard shirt. I look less creepy that way, and at my age that's important!
  • ChasingTheDancers
    9 years ago
    @rockatar I'm not the biggest clubber I believe OTC is p4p yes? Yea gf is what I want with this one. Its irrational and ridiculous but I want to try my chances I'm feeling edgey ha.

    @SJG I wont treat her badly, I'm a gentlemen and I treat women well. I know I shouldn't ask these questions an SC isn't the place for love, hell im crazy but not stupid.

    @MrBigGuy
    We didn't speak very much but she gave me 2 dances for the price of one. She was nice bot sure what made her feel so generous anyway I wont be back for a few weeks and I'm sure she wont remember me at all, it will be like starting from ground 0 again not sure if thats good or bad though. To answer you though I have no idea how long shes been in and we didn't speak about meeting again.

    @SJG and twentyfive
    Damn I'm cheap do I really need to fork out the money for a sexy 3 piece whiter?
  • just_the_nuts
    9 years ago
    ATM that's Ass To Mouth ?
  • Missionary
    9 years ago
    How old are you? If you're over 35, you don't have any shot at getting her without paying for it.
  • ChasingTheDancers
    9 years ago
    ATM as in the machine you get your money out of.
  • ChasingTheDancers
    9 years ago
    I am 23
  • Missionary
    9 years ago
    ^^^Do chicks in the civilian world say you're cute?
  • ChasingTheDancers
    9 years ago
    They say I'm not ugly lol, I'm an average looking guy I look better with my shirt off, I'm at the point where I could probably get a 10 if I am a little lucky and really confident. I have perfect teeth I'm 5 11 average build.
  • carlos_spiceyweiner
    9 years ago
    How do you tell? If she's a stripper, then she's playing you. Don't do this.
  • Missionary
    9 years ago
    I would say get to know her a little better, then you can decide if you still want to date her. Caution though 95% of strippers are not worth the drama they come with.

    Good luck!
  • GACA
    9 years ago
    At 23, it's worth the drama. Don't spend too much in the club. Drop less than $100 on visits. You're there to flirt. After the $100 is done. Because you maybe got one dance to cop feel and let her bosses think she's working leave.

    If you stop dropping a lot of cash, then her mind will move to less stripper mode.

    Get your pimp game going, if you're not pimp'n you're hoe'n . Smile smile smile a lot.

    At twenty-three a stripper will get you mad cred.

    Don't fall in love with the pussy, fall in love with your confidence.

    Good luck
  • ChasingTheDancers
    9 years ago
    Thanks for all the advice guys. I'm going on looking good next time.
  • san_jose_guy
    9 years ago
    "I look less creepy that way, and at my age that's important!"

    Rockstar and Chasing,

    Yes, when I have worn suits, it has usually been for work. I don't like it. And I agree that it can be creepy looking. I like your alternative, the stage outfit.

    Chasing, a girl you meet in a strip club is just like any other girl. You can steer it with her anyway you want.

    SJG

    30 Seconds Over Winterland
    Jorma Kaukonen singing lead
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izuKKcJe…
  • Subraman
    9 years ago
    ---> "I'd be lieing if I said this one was different, but I find myself oddly attracted to her, only gotten one dance from this one dont know a lot about her. I'm enfatuated not even close to love, but ill be honest I've developed feelings."

    I found the entire post cringe-worthy, but this might have been the highlight :)

    ---> "How do you know it's real? How do I know she's playing me?"

    In 100% of the times I've moved past a stripper/customer relationship:
    1. She did not charge me for our time. If she charges you, you're a customer, period.
    2. She pursued me as much as I pursued her. People who like each other, seek to spend time with each other, and having studied this topic very carefully, I can say that strippers are people (!!!).

    Obviously, in all cases is started out as classic stripper/customer with me paying her and me seeking her out. But if 1 & 2 aren't present, you know exactly where you stand -- strippers are beautifully transparent that way.
  • Papi_Chulo
    9 years ago
    The saying goes – “you can't buy love” - and I tend to agree w/ that – but perhaps you can rent it.

    At least you seem to not be going in blind.

    First of all you have to be honest w/ yourself – are you in-love or in-lust – if it's the latter; P4P may be the most efficient way to go – but if you insist on dancing with the devil:

    + are you compatible – i.e. are you into the same things – e..g. she may be into drugs and you are not – if this is the case; then even less of a chance of it “working-out”

    + are you ok with her being a dancer while she's your GF – the only 2 choices I see are 1) be 100% ok w/ it 2) she quits dancing while she's with you and you take care of her finances

    + don't show your hand – i.e. don't let her know if you are pretty well-off financially or don't try to impress her with your finances – she may expect you to take care of her financial issues if she feels you can

    + it takes two to tango – it's not just about you and what you want – what does *she* want/need/expect – believe me; plenty of guys want to bang her


    Conclusion:
    ---------------
    You seem to know the potential pitfalls – as long as you know it can blow up in your face and it's not what you thought it would be (or anywhere near); then go for it preparing for the worst and hoping for the best

    Report back to us.
  • alabegonz
    9 years ago
    Strippers lie a lot, every time. With that said, you will notice some of things she say often contradict. And the contradiction that you see is the wakeup call for you so that your wallet will not be drained too much.
  • s88
    9 years ago
    An escort/stripper/dancer vs GF is best determined by the flow of $ in the relationship, and the "opening up" to vulnerability of her in the relationship with you.

    How to determine if she is your GF, did she ever get your a physical birthday gift or a physical gift? Sports jersey, a rose, a fav DVD you talked about, something that took a $10 or a $20 to buy. Does she pay her own cost or some of the bill for a restaurant? Has she met your family, or you met her family? Her family doesn't need to know what exactly you are, escort/john, BF/GF, "just friends", coworker, fiancee, it doesn't matter. The question is, would you recognize her family by face, or her family recognize you by face?

    Have you ever been at her house, not her incall motel room, but at her house? Does her house have mail envelopes with her name lying around?

    There are certain rules and walls that strippers and custies have. The personas are fake. The stage names are fake. You dont mix your private life and your job. All strippers keep provisions for retiring or disappearing from sex work when college/baby/their drug addiction is over. A stripper wont have have custies as facebook friends unless her FB profile is her stage name and she tweets nude mirror selfies every day to her fans.
  • san_jose_guy
    9 years ago
    ^^^^^ Good!

    SJG
  • JohnSmith69
    9 years ago
    If you are only looking for fun and sex, nothing more, then there's some chance that it might work given your age. But don't be spending much money on her, then you're only a customer. And even if you do hook up, there will be tons of drama and it will likely end badly in some way. If you still want her knowing those things to be true, then give it your best shot.
  • JohnSmith69
    9 years ago
    And don't do it if you're the jealous type. Jealousy and strippers don't mix.
  • alabegonz
    9 years ago
    My experience tell me, you will never know if it is real or just hustle.

    But, then, why does it matter to you if she's true or not true?

    Just like what I'm doing to my CF2, I learned not to know more about her life, not ask questions that show her true colors.

    I just learned how to play her game the hard way.
  • Subraman
    9 years ago
    S88---->"A stripper wont have have custies as facebook friends unless her FB profile is her stage name"

    I have a number of stripper Facebook friends, all with their real names and their families, and the relationship is still stripper/customer -- although maybe stripper/one-of-her-favorite-customers. Since you use the term "custie", i'm guessing you're stripperweb-ified, and the sw girls would never admit that this happens, but it hasn't been terribly uncommon for me, I know the real names and have some sort of social media contact with many of my atfs. I also think notions like "All strippers keep provisions for retiring or disappearing from sex work when college/baby/their drug addiction is over" are also sw fantasies more than anything, but that's a whole 'nother topic.
  • rockstar666
    9 years ago
    I also have a handful of dancer's fb pages with their real names. You'd never know they were dancers from them. The fun part for me is their friends have some familiar faces at the club, but I keep that private.
  • Subraman
    9 years ago
    Ya, I don't want to be all stalkery, but it's hard to resist -- once you're on one girls' facebook, all her friends from the club will be on it, and it's difficult not to follow the trails around. One of them will invariably have the club manager or dj on her friends list, and from there, you can peek in on everyone. It can be interesting to see them in the wild, as real people
  • Papi_Chulo
    9 years ago
    “... My experience tell me, you will never know if it is real or just hustle ...”

    I think it was GACA(?) (or may have been lopaw?) whom used to say “if you gotta ask; then you are being hustled”
  • rockstar666
    9 years ago
    If you're paying for the sex, it's a short term business decision by her. If you fuck her for free, it's a long term investment from her. But that's what marriage is all about anyway; this is just another courting method.
  • ChasingTheDancers
    9 years ago
    I am not the jealous type AT ALL, which is another reason I want to do this, it's ridiculous that I have the notion in my mind that I'm the type of guy that's going to be ablr to pull this off but there you go.

    Few questions

    1. What does CF2 mean?
    2. Whats the best way to get her attention at the club?
    3. Pepsi or Coke?

    Ill update yall in a few weeks keep an eye out for my new discussion post.
  • georgmicrodong
    9 years ago
    1: Current Favorite #2. "Favorite" all by itself being a superlative can reference multiples. In the case of strippers, especially at different clubs.

    2: Money. Maybe going down on her with asking for anything in return. The latter actually worked for me not too long ago.

    3: The Glenlivet. Double. Neat.
  • JamesSD
    9 years ago
    If you're worried about getting her attention, your odds are pretty long.

    Becoming fixated on one pussy is a chump move. No matter if your goal is harem building or finding Ms. Right, you need to chase the girls who are receptive to your advances.

    By all means work this one, but diversify your portfolio, because she seems.like a long shot.
  • ilbbaicnl
    9 years ago
    As far as I've seen in 50+ years of life, it's a major longshot to get any sexier by posing. If you want her to fuck you for fun, just be on your best behavior, without pretending to be something you're not, and hope you're her type.

    Dropping lots of $$$ over time to try and shock and awe her into being your sugarbaby is also a longshot. Golddiggers are smarter than fish, much better at nibbling the worm without taking the hook.

    If she's up for P4P, you have to convince her you meet her minimum standards for safe and non-annoying. You will not get a lower fee by badgering her. If you get a lower fee because she has a bill due, expect a depressing fuck.
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion