I'm nearing the big 30 and I'm ready to finally lose my V-card in a special way. Over the past seven months, I have visited several clubs in the DMV area and amassed a list of favorites. I'm a workaholic who tried relationships with normal ladies, but watched each attempt go down like the Hindenburg or Ava Devine on Shane Diesel. Anyway, I don't know how to approach my ATF dancers about it, and as you know, dancers can sometimes throw mixed signals,no-show, or bring their handler with them to mug you or worst. So to all the experts on the board (patrons, dancers, ex-dancers, etc), what should I do? Should I go down my list of ATFs and cautiously engage them with the standard fee that runs with this arrangement, rely on my contact who has connections to hook me up with someone, or should I bite the bullet and hire an escort? I'm just worried about the day of my B-day that it's going to be me in a hotel room by myself. I want to avoid that and have some fun. What would you do?
The stripper route is the better option. All you can do is politely ask. They get propositioned day in and day out. Don't rely on others to hook you up. Escorts are a gamble or have to jump through hoops to get verified.
Thanks, Bavarian. I'll try. Well, Rech, my birthday is in December. The average in in my area is $300. The hotel room is booked and at a low price in a nice area.
Talk to your favorite strippers and say something like "I'd like to have have extra special fun with you in a hotel on my birthday." Some will refuse but some will say yes. Have a maximum amount you are willing to pay. The girl might ask for $1000 but you can tell her you only have $300 (or whatever) to spend. If the dancer already knows you and likes you, she is more likely to agree.
For your first time you might want to pay a little more than the average just to make sure you get a girl. After you've done OTC once, it becomes a lot easier.
Ouch, Shailynn. It was my choice more than anything else to keep it. Thought things would work out like they normally do in the movies (fall in love, get frisky, that kind of thing). Waited, waited...and nothing. Instead of getting laid, I ran into all kinds of crazy in my life. But now things are settling down and I want to do it.
Definitely use strippers. All you have to do is ask. The birthday angle is a good one although I probably wouldn't mention the V card issue. In a confident manner just say something like "I am planning a celebration for my 30th birthday on x date. I'd love to take you to dinner and then go back to my hotel for an hour or so of fun. Would you be open to that if we could agree on the price." If she says no don't be discouraged, just move on to the next one. But act like you know what you are doing and don't act nervous or timid. Dancers want a guy who knows what he is doing, they don't want to hold the hand of a newbie. And they might rip you off if they know how limited your experience is.
Also keep in mind that strippers aren't the most reliable people. So you must be prepared for the chance that she won't show. To deal with this see her a few times itc before the big date so she gets to know you better. And always have a backup plan. In case she doesn't show I would plan an evening at a nearby club that offers extras.
OP: It is your BD and your V-Card. Go large! Make the offers over text. Call it "adult fun" not just "fun". If the honey expresses interest reply quickly that you want GFE on xyz date at xyz time for $$$ amount of money. Be very specific on expectations. This will show them you are serious. Any BS from them wanting to know you better of see them in the club more should be treated as a refusal.
For your BD it would be tempting to overpay. Just remember, if you want to keep seeing her she'll expect the same amount on future visits.
Wow, 30years old and still a virgin.. hire a freaking escort!
No offense intended but you should honestly take a close look at yourself and figure out why you're not getting anywhere with women, what you're doing wrong. No matter how much you work a guy your age should be able to hook up without paying unless there are some serious flaws in your game. Take a step back and access yourself or discuss it with a couple close friends.
Lol! I appreciate the thought, Rech. As for everyone else, I hear you (hope if that's a movie it earns an Oscar). Believe me, I have looked at myself. I realize life is too short. I lost someone really dear to me to cancer, and it made me look at myself hard in the mirror. I messed up in spots in traditional dating where I was foolish, got way too involved with the wrong girls, and put myself out there for disappointment, embarrassment, and heartbreak. One girl was so insanely in love with me (despite saying the feeling wasn't mutual) she branded my name in her arm and it scared the living hell out of me. I let a lot of that get to me and put me in a cycle for a long time. Just stayed focus on earning money and climbing ladders of success. I figured that maybe something would've happened in my 20s, but that hasn't been the case. At this point with so much on my plate in mid-stride of the success and challenges, I can't deal with the rigors of a real relationship, especially now.
Hire an escort dude. Strippers aren't for a guy like you, at least not yet. They'll smell your pathetic desperation, secretly despise you for it while outwardly playing to it, and then fuck with you in every way but the one you are seeking.
Hire an escort and a well reviewed one at that. Get hammered first if you need the liquid courage to dial one up.
After you finally find someone willing to let your dick into her, you may want to think about dealing with whatever it is that is keeping you from getting laid. If you are fat, then go to the damned gym already and lose some weight. If you look like the elephant man, then explore some plastic surgery. If you are crippled, find some support groups with other people in similar circumstances. If you are simply unable to deal with people, then pm Dougster for a referral to a shrink - he's no doubt has seen several by now and anyone who could help that socially retarded and sociopathic Asperger's sufferer, even if just a little, can probably help anyone.
You should have gotten laid almost by accident by 30 without some serious problem(s). You need (1) a hooker and (2) some other help, either in that order or in the reverse.
SCs are about $$$/business and in business one needs to communicate properly to get things does and not assume “deals”/solutions will come out of thin-air or fall in their laps – i.e. SCs are about sex and $$$ so these dancers are used to being asked all the time so nothing wrong w/ asking – it's like asking a mechanic that specializes in carburetors if he also does transmissions – some do and some don't – i.e. some dancers do extras and some don't – a simple and not offensive way to ask is “can I see you outside the club?” or “do you do private shows?” - an extras dancer will most likely know what you really mean – if she says yes then you continue to communicate and hammer-out the details of what you want and for how much – don't worry about “offending her” - it's your $$$ she is taking so you are entitled to square away specifics if she's gonna take your $$$ - *you* need to be in charge; if you let the dancer make-the-decisions/call-the-shots often times you'll end up with an empty-wallet and full-balls.
Don't make it too big a deal about it being your bday and having to “score”- as others have said dancers are often flakes and not every OTC is a “banging” success especially if you and the dancer don't know each other very well – and don't be surprised if it does not happen – OTC is not as easy as it sometimes appears on here; many dancers don't do it and many are apprehensive about meeting a man OTC they don't know very well (and understandably so).
Actually – being a virgin in your 20s is more common than people think or are willing to admit (not saying it's the norm but not sups-uncommon); I've seen plenty of cases and often times a factor is how one is brought up and if they are brought up in a very conservative or religious environment.
For everyone giving you a hard-time about it; fuck them – “he who is without PLness cast the first stone” - dumping on others seems to be in vogue in today's society and it seems sorta a guilty pleasure sorta like watching reality-TV (Jerry Springer) for some – based on this and some of the feedback you've gotten on-here; best to not disclose your V-card too openly especially with people not close to you b/c as you can see you'll get treated “as if something *is* wrong with you”.
Having said all this – in my professional PL opinion a man needs to get laid/fucked at least every-once in a while if not w/ certain regularity – it's really a biological *need* more than a “want” - I don't think a man can really function normally and to his best not having this need met; especially a young-man b/c it's a biological need in a man's makeup (especially a young virile man) – and IMO often times sexually-inexperienced guys make wrong decisions in a mate just b/c they are so hard-up.
We grow and mature w/ every decade in life – in our 20s we often don't know what we are doing or supposed to do – in our 30s we start figuring it out and getting better at it – and by 40+ we can get to know who we are and not live by what other say we are or should be (of course some mature quicker than others) – don't worry about the past – IMO it's more important how one finishes than how/where one starts.
Anyway I originally thought op was legit because he had some reviews but now he says he was way too involved in some relationships yet he's still a virgin.
Doesn't add up to me, I smell a troll.
I understand. Best advice ever, Papi-Chulo. Thanks. Some of you guys have been helpful (even fierce in your help in someways, but appreciated). I'll have updates either way it goes down.
Cheer up Props. Whatever your issues, at least you're not an Internet troll. This board's resident troll couldn't even get the prostitutes at the Bunny Ranch to fuck him for money. I'm guessing that you're starting from a better position than that. Glass half full and all. ;)
OP, is the real world V card, or strip club V card?
Either way, Papi is right, it's probably not a good idea to let the strippers know that. Even if you do tell them, they probably won't believe you and just consider it customer shit.
Sadly, I can't give you any advice for losing it at that late age, other than to not think too much on the emotional significance. That way lies danger.
I don't think telling a dancer you are a virgin is that big a deal; in fact a cool dancer may perhaps be receptive to “breaking a virgin in” - most dancers/providers don't care what you are as long as one pays them and is not rude to them; IMO (providers fuck old, fat, ugly; PLs all the time so why would they have issues w/ a virgin – IMO a provider having an issue w/ a virgin probably also has issues w/ most other PLs).
I think the V-card should be kept to one's self more so in the outside (non-SC) world – IMO most-people/society do/does not need to know one's personal sexuality no-more than people in general need to know what goes on b/w S.O.s; one's sexuality is a personal thing and should be kept that away except with some select people in one's inner circle; IMO.
A lot of the dancers I know would love to "break-in" a virgin. One of my faves has been seeing a 40 year old virgin for years and has almost gotten him across the threshold.
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For your first time you might want to pay a little more than the average just to make sure you get a girl. After you've done OTC once, it becomes a lot easier.
I don't think any advice on here is gonna help you.
Also keep in mind that strippers aren't the most reliable people. So you must be prepared for the chance that she won't show. To deal with this see her a few times itc before the big date so she gets to know you better. And always have a backup plan. In case she doesn't show I would plan an evening at a nearby club that offers extras.
For your BD it would be tempting to overpay. Just remember, if you want to keep seeing her she'll expect the same amount on future visits.
Good luck.
No offense intended but you should honestly take a close look at yourself and figure out why you're not getting anywhere with women, what you're doing wrong. No matter how much you work a guy your age should be able to hook up without paying unless there are some serious flaws in your game. Take a step back and access yourself or discuss it with a couple close friends.
Hire an escort dude. Strippers aren't for a guy like you, at least not yet. They'll smell your pathetic desperation, secretly despise you for it while outwardly playing to it, and then fuck with you in every way but the one you are seeking.
Hire an escort and a well reviewed one at that. Get hammered first if you need the liquid courage to dial one up.
After you finally find someone willing to let your dick into her, you may want to think about dealing with whatever it is that is keeping you from getting laid. If you are fat, then go to the damned gym already and lose some weight. If you look like the elephant man, then explore some plastic surgery. If you are crippled, find some support groups with other people in similar circumstances. If you are simply unable to deal with people, then pm Dougster for a referral to a shrink - he's no doubt has seen several by now and anyone who could help that socially retarded and sociopathic Asperger's sufferer, even if just a little, can probably help anyone.
You should have gotten laid almost by accident by 30 without some serious problem(s). You need (1) a hooker and (2) some other help, either in that order or in the reverse.
Good luck!
Don't make it too big a deal about it being your bday and having to “score”- as others have said dancers are often flakes and not every OTC is a “banging” success especially if you and the dancer don't know each other very well – and don't be surprised if it does not happen – OTC is not as easy as it sometimes appears on here; many dancers don't do it and many are apprehensive about meeting a man OTC they don't know very well (and understandably so).
For everyone giving you a hard-time about it; fuck them – “he who is without PLness cast the first stone” - dumping on others seems to be in vogue in today's society and it seems sorta a guilty pleasure sorta like watching reality-TV (Jerry Springer) for some – based on this and some of the feedback you've gotten on-here; best to not disclose your V-card too openly especially with people not close to you b/c as you can see you'll get treated “as if something *is* wrong with you”.
Having said all this – in my professional PL opinion a man needs to get laid/fucked at least every-once in a while if not w/ certain regularity – it's really a biological *need* more than a “want” - I don't think a man can really function normally and to his best not having this need met; especially a young-man b/c it's a biological need in a man's makeup (especially a young virile man) – and IMO often times sexually-inexperienced guys make wrong decisions in a mate just b/c they are so hard-up.
We grow and mature w/ every decade in life – in our 20s we often don't know what we are doing or supposed to do – in our 30s we start figuring it out and getting better at it – and by 40+ we can get to know who we are and not live by what other say we are or should be (of course some mature quicker than others) – don't worry about the past – IMO it's more important how one finishes than how/where one starts.
Now go on and get laith.
Anyway I originally thought op was legit because he had some reviews but now he says he was way too involved in some relationships yet he's still a virgin.
Doesn't add up to me, I smell a troll.
Either way, Papi is right, it's probably not a good idea to let the strippers know that. Even if you do tell them, they probably won't believe you and just consider it customer shit.
Sadly, I can't give you any advice for losing it at that late age, other than to not think too much on the emotional significance. That way lies danger.
I think the V-card should be kept to one's self more so in the outside (non-SC) world – IMO most-people/society do/does not need to know one's personal sexuality no-more than people in general need to know what goes on b/w S.O.s; one's sexuality is a personal thing and should be kept that away except with some select people in one's inner circle; IMO.