An elderly man man meets an elderly woman in the nursing home. After getting to know each other they decide to meet in her room that night to have sex.
In her room they start getting busy, and soon the old woman is undressed down to her panties. At this point she decided to warn the man about her heart condition.
"I should tell you," the old woman said, "that I have acute angina."
"That's good," said the old man, "because you have the ugliest breasts I've ever seen."
Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his winkie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring
:)
Was Carlos a White Hispanic?
Betty was 79 years old. Because her family couldn't look after her anymore, they decided it was best to place her in a nursing home.
At first, Betty hated it! It was cold, damp and smelt of piss. But after a week of being there she started talking to a lovely gentleman called Albert. Albert was 76, and although he was old, he was still up for showing Betty a good time.
They would stroll around the garden laughing and joking and they would sit on the garden bench. Because of their age, sex was almost impossible, so Betty would just sit next to Albert and hold his penis.
Every night they would meet up by the doors and stroll to the bench so Betty could hold Albert's cock.
One night, Betty went to meet up with Albert and he wasn't waiting by the doors as he usually does. Fearing the worst, she goes to his room, but he wasn't there either. Starting to panic a bit, she goes out to the garden for some fresh air, only to see Albert sitting on the park bench next to old Beatrice. She looks closer and notices that Beatrice is holding Albert's old boy.
Betty storms up and screams "How could you Albert! I thought we had something special! Tell me, what has SHE got that I haven't?"
Albert looks up with a grin on his face and replies...
"Parkinson's!"
Oh Shadow,just you wait.
TD - NO. You still can't suck my dick.
George goes to live at the nursing home. He discovers that many of the women are seeking some action, but all the men are unable to perform. He however is still quite capable. So he puts a notice on the bulletin board that he is ready and able to service any willing ladies. His rates are: $5 on the floor, $10 on the couch, or $20 on the bed. Mary shows up at his room with a $20 bill. "Ah, you want it on the bed." "No" she says "I want 4 on the floor."
Scat,from what the girls tell me,you ain't got much time left on this big ball.My advice to you is to start studying for your final exam.Do you have any parting words?
:)