Just woke up

i had quite a night last night. I'm laying off the drugs for a bit because I freaked out and though the CIA or FBI or NSA was going to disappear me and I ended up having two hookers rip me off and leave me in the alley wearing nothing but my boxers. And they were on my head.

So I decided to buy a lot of peach schnapps because I figure getting messed up on booze isn't the same thing as getting messed up on drugs. I also bought a hot dog from a 7-11 because I'm feeling that I need to start living that way. I picked up this streetwalker and brought her to my hotel. Probably the best hotel she's ever been to. I really felt like I needed to have some degrading sex so I had her get in the tub and I pissed on her. When I saw her in the light I didn't want her near my dick so I just jacked off onto her face, threw $500 at her, and told her to get lost.

Then I chugged the schnapps and passed out around 5. I have a huge headache right now because I just got up. Don't know what I'm going to do tonight. Get high or get drunk or find another whore to degrade? Who knows?

Come on guys. You really need to help me find a better place where I can do this sort of shit. This isn't a joke or trolling even if it blows your minds that I actually live this way. I know people like mikey can't wrap their heads around the kind of money I have but surely some of you can.

6 comments

Latest

  • jackslash
    9 years ago
    I'm worried about you. A 7-11 hot dog?
  • warhawks
    9 years ago

    I'm concerned too.

    $500 for a streetwalker?
  • 4got2wipe
    9 years ago
    I wonder if there is any truth to this guy! I was viewing his stories as brilliantly plausible until the 7-11 hot dog came up! That's just crazy talk!
  • 4got2wipe
    9 years ago
    (full disclosure for the overly literal - the "brilliantly plausible" designation was a joke)

    On a more serious note, I am curious whether this guy is really into the drinking and drugging and just exaggerates amounts of money or whether he is just making everything up.

    If the former, I'll just say "not brilliant!" and "get help!"
  • 4got2wipe
    9 years ago
    (full disclosure for the overly literal - the "brilliantly plausible" designation was a joke)

    On a more serious note, I am curious whether this guy is really into the drinking and drugging and just exaggerates amounts of money or whether he is just making everything up.

    If the former, I'll just say "not brilliant!" and "get help!"
  • shailynn
    9 years ago
    LMN works at Burger King

    I_MN is a god
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