I hate small talk. So I will often see a girl I like pay for one dance right away tell her what I like, if she tries to please, I'll get a second. Then I stop. Go back to the bar or table, usually they follow, and that's when I tell them "I hate small talk, just seems completely insincere, how bout you tell me about your shifty customers, or good ones" then I get less small talk
I prefer a little bit of small talk. It gives me an idea of the person and just how well spending some time with her might go, there at the table or in the lap dance area.
I like talking with my ATF. But don't care for small talk with a complete stranger. It's so forced. I don't really wanna tell you where I work, where I'm from, if I'm married or how young I look.
First prove to be you could be my ATF. Like I said, I'll talk to my ATF
I prefer talking before a sex act, not so much afterwards. Talking can be a form of foreplay because you both know that the conversation is going to lead to the sexual union of your bodies. Afterwards I just want to go to sleep.
Since a good lap dance is a form of a sex act, it naturally follows that I prefer to talk beforehand. If I'm into her, if she can carry on an intelligent conversation, and if her tits are hanging out, it can be erotic to get to know her before she gives me her body to play with. About the only thing I want to talk about afterwards, if it was good, is how we can take our new relationship to the next level.
If I pretty, mostly naked, girl wants to sit and talk to me before or after she's danced for me, or "danced" for me, I'll usually sit and talk. Some of these girls can be very interesting to talk to.
My ATF and I talked quite a bit before, and after, sex. We still talk regularly, if not often.
That reminds me of the Order of Turtles initiation questions, one of which is "What is a four letter word ending in 'K' which means 'intercourse'?"
I like getting to know who I am about to get intimate with. In fact it is a requirement for OTC. Getting to know them builds trust. Trust not only opens doors but it spreads legs.
Yeah, it definitely makes it more erotic. Number 1 how many times can you have a good conversation with a girl with her tits out and your hand freely roaming her thigh outside in the real world? I wish it happened more frequently... Number 2 it makes things more interesting. It feels less like a financial transaction and more like the fantasy that I came in for. If she can't hold a decent conversation then she's not doing her job. It's pretty important to me
I'm all about the pre- and post-dance (and pre- and post-OTC) conversations. Love socializing and drinking with the girls, my normal SC M.O. is fairly long 3-4 hour trips, and I stick with one girl the entire time, so we're talking extensively before our first VIP, and between VIPs, and normally she'll hang out after our last VIP for a while. I enjoy the conversation for its own sake, but also could not agree more with the sentiment that building a little trust opens doors and spreads legs, both ITC and especially OTC. I'm absolutely convinced ITC socializing affects both the OTC price and what she's willing to do.
My favorite OTC is also pretty long -- eat, drink, go strip clubbing, get horny, and then fuck it off -- but I've also done the opposite (sex at the beginning, hung out together afterwards). So, regardless, I evidently have a high tolerance for talking -- I love it, and if there's a girl I don't like talking to, then I won't be getting dances from her
I should add that, like GACA, I'm not exactly enamored of smalltalk, it can be excruciating. But given my model of long stretches with the same girl, we typically get past small talk very quickly
Back years ago when I used to do shorter trips to extras clubs, I typically liked 10 minutes of talk up front, then dances & extras, and no post-dance talk.
I consider myself a great conversationalist, so it really depends on my mood. Even airhead dancers can be fun if you tap into how they think and what they find entertaining, so the fact she's not in school for a PhD is not a deal breaker. 'Before' conversations are usually light flirting, unless there's a subject already at hand. After? Well, if I've been thourghly stimulated usually I don't say much but my abject thanks; if she was terrible then I talk about the Cubs/Bears/Blackhawks to get rid of her.
With my ATF we always have a lot to catch up on, so we talk about her universe and mine; actual conversation, as opposed to the verbal dances we do with the sex objects. Although I flirt with her (still!) a lot too.
I do like to talk to the girls. Intoxicants do not help. If she is good to talk with I'll be very open in how I consider her looks.
In our local clubs talking is all there is. Talk is how you get a girl to open up to you. Talk is what would happen during the in between times too. So it is important.
SJG
[view link]
On the one hand, I feel kind of shorted when a dancer starts into a dance right away without spending any time upfront chatting or, better yet, fondling.
But I also like going straight into a heavy duty groping lap dance mere seconds after I first meet a girl. If she looks really hot to me, my first thought isn't how I'd like to have a conversation with her. I wanna cut straight to the physical. I don't need to get to know her better. In fact, upfront conversation is as likely to cool my lust as it is to stoke it.
Before a VIP or of course an OTC, it's a lot more important to know who I'm dealing with, and for her to learn to trust me. But when it's just a dance, I don't mind jumping right into it and asking questions later.
I'm not for the small talk either but in my club its a bit of a slower hustle so I kind of have to start out with the small talk. Obviously I ask your name, first time in the club, etc and then I try to get into your interests so we can have common ground to have an interesting conversation or If I can tell the guy is really into me from the get go or not much of a talker I go for trying to sell him a dance sooner than later :)
This gets into an issue which has been talked about extensively over the last year. If the girl isn't fun to engage with in the front room, then forget about the back room. You can be feeding her money in the front room, just as well as in the back room. And in the front room she doesn't have to give any of it to the house. Her access fees are fixed. Whereas with time in the backroom, the house gets money. So if she is willing to engage, she should be willing to do it in the front room.
So if she promises this and that in the back room, ignore her. Let things develop with her in the front room first. Don't go to the back room until ready to escalate to the point where it is really necessary.
Talk is what softens a girl up, lets her see you as an actual person instead of a social type and a mark.
I'm not interested in 'extras' or 'mileage'. If it is to go beyond talking and flirting, then it should be escort grade GFE FS.
A front room make out session is the minimum requirement for going to the back room. Otherwise just postpone it until some later time or outside meeting.
So talk is essential as this is what lets it begin.
Don't let girls use verbal pitches to 'sell dances'. That is a chumps game. They have the right to try, but always deflect it.
In the most extreme clubs, in the US and in Mexico, the girls give you very little other choice but to engage in a front room make out session. Without this, what you are likely to get in any back room is a girl who has learned to dissociate.
SJG
[view link]
The chance to engage in this sort of free form and non-committal front room fraternizing is what makes strip clubs superior to AMPs, AAMPs, Escorts, Lingerie Modeling, Adult Entertainment, and Nevada Houses with their line ups. The benefit should not be wasted.
SJG
To SJG, not all girls have to five a cut of their Barack room money. At my current club we don't. We only have lap dance rooms and I keep everything make in the LD room. A majority of clubs will take a percentage from the back room, if not from the LD room then definitely from the VIP room if they have one.
No, there is no way to edit or delete posts.
In most clubs the LD booths are also toll gates. So if they say no touching in the front room, that is to get the house more money. But dancers experienced in more wild and wooly environments know that there are lots better ways to make money than going around saying, "wanna dance". Experienced dancers know that they don't need to say anything. They don't need to ask permission, they can just begin, and then try to get some money. If the guy wants to play, he'll oblige. If not, he'll just wave her on and not let her get started. Most guys will still give her something for the effort.
So, she can be raking in money for 60min out of every hour. This is much better than at the "wanna dance" places.
Here in San Jose and Sunnyvale the clubs are zero touching. So they can't do much.
But we had this underground circuit which ran in Mexican Bars, and they didn't follow such rules. The girls raked in money. They don't need to get any agreement from a guy, they just do what ever it is they intend to do, and then try to get money. The longer the guy keeps feeding her money, the longer she stays. They made up party tapes with no gaps between the songs.
My point is that if the girl wants to make it good, she will do that. She doesn't need to make the guy agree to anything or get out of his seat. She doesn't need to promise, she can just do.
So she can just start making it happen, and also try to establish how much money she wants to be getting. If she does it that way and is good, then she would be one worth taking to the back room to escalate. But if she is not good in the front room, don't waste time with her in the back room.
The most aggressive girls don't need to do much talking at all.
It is like this in the most extreme of the Black Dives, as was well documented on [view link]. And TUSCL members have provided ample testimony that it is like this in Mixed Race Dives too.
And it is like this in Mexico:
Dr. F.
[view link]
Now other girls are not as aggressive, and so they need to be courted some. Talk is the way this is done. Then it makes it easier for the girl to open up, when she sees you as a person instead of as a type.
So my point is that talk and all front room fraternizing are essential. Otherwise you might as well just call an escort.
Welcome to TUSCL. We need more women members, as it works wonders in improving the quality of the discussions.
SJG
[view link]
Small talk is getting a bum rap in this thread. What passes for small talk with strippers doesn't have to be painfully dull like it is in the straight world. You're not out of line to open with admiring comments on her tits or how turned on you got watching her shake her ass. Things you wouldn't normally say to your new neighbor's wife when you meet at the mailbox. Whenever a stripper tries to start with conventional chitchat tedium like where am I from, what do I do, come here often, blah blah, I try to steer it into more stimulating small talk territory.
Thanks for the welcome message SJG.
JohnSmith69 yes, our president comes up to BFE South Dakota for his lap dances so he isn't easily recognized being this part of the country.
Chandler you mean to tell me you didn't greet your new neighbors wife at the mailbox by telling her that her tits look nice and perky today? That's a shame.
Agree completely chandler. To repeat what I said above -- I'm not big on small talk, and I don't small talk strippers very long either. But I typically do 3-4 hour trips, and the small talk is over after the first 2 minutes, and after that, it's just a regular conversation -- only with a 21-year-old girl who normally wouldn't be talking to me, and a sexier conversation, and swapping outrageous sex stories and SC stories and whatever else :) Fuck small talk, there's no reason to talk for hours on end about whether it's your first time to the SC or what part of the bay area you live in or how warm it is out today.
"The chance to engage in this sort of free form and non-committal front room fraternizing is what makes strip clubs superior to AMPs, AAMPs, Escorts, Lingerie Modeling, Adult Entertainment, and Nevada Houses with their line ups."
Lord help me, I agree with SJG. It is one reason why I love SCs better than every other part of the sex industry, although there's other reasons also. Of course, totally get that some of you don't like talking to the girls, and there is a certain lascivious thrill in saying barely 5 words to a girl and then having your face buried in her tits, but for me, hanging out and drinking at the table is a big part of the experience
"You're not out of line to open with admiring comments on her tits or how turned on you got watching her shake her ass."
This is what I've been trying to say about our regular clubs in Santa Clara County. Although they are strict no touching, they are still fun because you can talk in ways you couldn't any place else. Also, the girls need to know that they are having an effect on you. Being ignored hurts them, so the talk is welcome.
Hanging out and talking is how you get the girl softened up and let her see you as something other than a PL.
SJG
[view link]
SJG: ever OTC with any of the girls out of Hip Hugger, Kit Kat (or whatever it's called now), etc? Or is OTC not your thing? Just wondering if OTC is available, and how readily ...
I normally go to SCs to get my freak on and have my little head stimulated rather than my big head.
I don't mind having convos w/ dancers but this often detracts from what I went there to do – I don't get turned on by talking random shit w/ dancers unless the convo is about sex – if a dancer is hanging w/ me I prefer for us to be mutually groping each other rather than talking – plus often times dancer convos just leave my shaking my head the longer I talk to them.
I don't go to the SC for companionship nor to hang-out – in the few occasions I'm just there to kill time then I don't mind conversing w/ dancers – but for the most part convo does not turn me on and I rather be checking out the scene and/or stage or getting busy.
For me dancers are to be looked at and groped; not heard – I'm sure they would love this comment over on SW.
Conversation can be a good prelude or intermission for the dances and if you can establish good communication with the dancer you can be more effective in negotiations; conversely on her side it helps her make a more effective sales pitch. "Wannadance, let's go" tends to leave me unmoved. A little bit of fun back-and-forth even during the dance can help get both parties loose. And sometimes you can even find out, for instance that she used to dance in a club in your town that's now closed, and you both compare notes about it (happened to me). Of course, if you're there with a targeted purpose that does not necessarily apply but if you're just playing it by ear, conversation/small talk is good to have.
"For me dancers are to be looked at and groped; not heard – I'm sure they would love this comment over on SW."
Actually, although they wouldn't like the way you phrased it, I'd bet they like your "let's just get down to business" M.O. more than my "take up loads of time talking, without tipping extra for it" M.O.!
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