something fishy is going on here. just read 3 or 4 of Kyle1111's reviews of his miami clubs and even though the reviews were wishy-washy, he gave the clubs 10's on potential. is that what this place has come to? Kyle1111 has an agenda for some reason. proceed at your own risk
Right on, Clubber, I was talking about Teasers, which I understand closed down recently. And also about a club that closed 8-10 years ago which was called someting like Pirate's Den or Pirate's Cove. Those are my two all-time favorite clubs. Pirate's has a special place in my heart because it's the first place that I ever encountered lap dancing - and they were fully nude and full contact in a private cubicle. The only other place that comes close to these two that I've ever been to is Brad's Brass Flamingo in Indianapolis. I believe that these are the only clubs that I've ever rated a 9. Wow! I can't think of anywhere else that even comes close.
If I rated like that I'd probably give Tootsie's a Two. And, most GCs a One. Of course, the cheap clubs--available now-- would only rate around Three and Four. When I gave Tens for potential I realized that was going to ruffle a few feathers, needlessly, which is why I asked the founded to allow the submission of reviews without requiring a numerical rating.
Perhaps ruffled feathers in this instance are good. :)
Somewhere in a very old review I described my idea of a perfect 10 club in detail. Basically it would be a friendly little laid-back neighborhood Cheers-type bar where you can sit and talk to young friendly girl-next-door-type girls without much hustle and they have inexpensive high contact laps in a private room with no bouncers in sight. The further from this ideal (for me) a club is the lower I rate it. The closest thing I've ever found to this were two clubs that no longer exist in Key West. Brad's Brass Flamingo in Indianapolis probably is next closest. I rate clubs by comparing them to my ideal and subtracting for every major area where they fall short.
If a GC is charging $30 for lap dances and that is the going rate for that type club, then I guess it seems strange to me that you would subtract for that. Or, let's say they charge $35 and the going rate is $50 for that type club. Would they still merit a subtraction? At $20 per lap I'm hurting, but should my poverty equal a lower rating for a good club? (The POTENTIAL a FIVE DOLLAR club in Miami offers far outweighs the certainty and other benefits of a GC. That doesn't mean a GC doesn't deserve a 10 in book; it is just trying to compare oranges with grapes.)
I like the bathroom attendants, if they keep the place sparkling which in my experience they do. (Yes, I'd rather save the buck.)
Kyle, sorry I didn't respond earlier but I've been out of town. But to answer your comment that my system of subtracting for everything wrong favors the gentlemen's clubs, I disagree. For example, I hate bathroom attendants, VIP parking, bouncer goons everywhere in tuxes, high prices - these are all subtractions under my system. That's why I only give GGC in Baltimore an 8 even though I hang our there regularly because of the great group of girls. I also subtract for low mileage, which is often typical of gentlemen's clubs.
Kyle, it is obvious you have problems. I hope the driver of the short bus helps you get on and off when you visit your superclubs in downtown miami. I guess I didn't get the memo when this changed from tuscl.com to kyle1111.com
I'm tired of you trying to impose your values on me! :) Republicans are really nasty like. :) (Yes, I'm technically a Republican--but, please forgive. I was young and thought they believed in less government.)
To me POTENTIAL is far more important than hundreds of well run expensive GENTLEMEN'S CLUBS or EXPENSIVE DIVES. The value is HIGH MILEAGE @ FIVE DOLLARS a dance by SUPER HOT dancers. That is worth a rating of 10 almost everytime. Of course a GC may also deserve a rating of 10, but the expectations are different. I really can't see wanting to go to a ED (EXPENSIVE DIVE) and pay GC prices, but I guess when you're wealthy that ain't a problem.
Perhaps when you give it a little more thought you will want to apologize.
It seems like your "small dive clubs" are ***EXPENSIVE***. Only a single one looked to offer somewhat cheap prices--that one being the club in Greenville with $10 lap dances. (Most of my clubs say $10 lap, but the $5 table is usually the same high contact two way grind. Plus it ain't uncommon to get freebies.) If my small dive clubs were charging gentlemen's club prices then I sure as damn hell would be rating them as if they were gentlemen's clubs. The clubs I'm reviewing have FIVE DOLLAR HIGH MILEAGE DANCES by very nice dancers. I may go at off hours (early) or I may not like girls with a little meat, but damn these clubs surely do rate a PLUS TEN FOR POTENTIAL. And, if I wasn't soooooo darn finicky about PERFECT looks and didn't like going at off hours my experiences would probably be off the scale. If MILEAGE and ATTITUDE are your game and you don't care about race or PERFECT looks, then Miami probably has a lot clubs that easily rate a 10.
I may see your point a little more clearly now--YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT CHEAP HIGH MILEAGE CLUBS. As I was looking over your reviews I was just shaking my head thinking damn these clubs are EXPENSIVE and you must be very wealthy (at least compared to me).
You sound like a wealthy gentlemen's club customer to me (you think there is something wrong with $5 dances). I'm very surprised you are the least bit interested in the clubs I've written about.
In the future I suggest that if you bother to READ one of my reviews that you ignore my numerical ratings. I'm not usually going to be trashing these cheap clubs with a rating scheme I think is too biased in favor of the gentlemen's clubs especially not on a single visit during "off peak" hours (when I generally visit).
Anyway, whether I enjoyed myself should be meaningless--Honest to God. :) It should be my descriptions that are of interest to you and I try to make those as realistic as possible even though they're colored by my biases and writing abilities.
I can just see giving Tootsie's a low rating because I'm depressed making the experience "suck" for me. Could have been wonderful dancers offering super mileage and super prices, but if the my experience was negative, then I should trash the club with a low numerical rating. That's absurd and I think you understand that.
I see it as just having differing opinions when it comes to numerical ratings on cheap clubs.
I give up. Kyle, either you just like to read your own writing, or you are so far out of the loop it is amazing. As I said before, I am a fan of small, dive clubs. Places like Lady Godiva in Greenville, Showtime in Nashville, Jerry's Cabaret in Theodore(Mobile). I also like natural girls. mostly older, mostly big busted, a few extra pounds don't really bother me. I do not like skinny, little perky girls. High mileage is definitely a priority to me, and I definitely am not a "gentleman's club" kind of guy. I think the clubs you talk about sound interesting. and maybe on my next trip to So FL I will try a few. But, I still have to disagree with your theory on rating and reviews. If you go to a busy club and it sucks for you, rate it as such. I don't want to know how much fun others are having, I want to know what you thought. I have been to PP in Memphis on occasion and had a lousy time while all around me seemed to be getting their rocks off. Should that count as a 10? Not in my opinion. Plus there are more numbers available between 10 and 1. Even though contact is virtually nonexistant, I often rate Sammy's in Birmingham highly. I base my reviews on the time I had in the club. It is at Sammy's that I saw arguably the most gorgeous dancer I have ever seen on stage. Based on your scoring, Sammy's would be a 1 or 2, because the potential for quality mileage at a low price is zero.
Some years back The Miami Herald had a review of a BBQ place near me. The reviewer gave it Four Stars the highest possible rating. She described the BBQ as the best she'd ever eaten. Well there ain't much in the way of BBQ here in Miami -- Sonny's is usually good and Shorty's is usually good (the Southern one), but damn neither is even close to Roger's in Tampa which is PURE HEAVEN. :) So I rush that very same day to sample this Four Star BBQ. Nasty foreign tasting garbage and weren't just me that had this opinion cause the place was empty at lunch time in a fairly crowded area of the city. Didn't finish the garbage BBQ which wasn't fit for even a dog.
Initially I was RED HOT with anger. Who the hell did the reviewer think she was taking $$$ to write a glowing review for food I couldn't even finish?! Then it hit me the reviewer was a latina and the garbage food might have actually been mouth watering Four Stars to her . . .
Same principle applies to women and dancers and strip clubs. There are very different ideas of what is nice and what is nasty. I think that I just might be in LOVE with Alabama's bikini clubs if I were a local--too hard to tell unless I start spending night after night with the dancers. Unbelieveable attitude when no $$$ is coming in and the damn place actually allows conversation! :) I was actually tempted to stay in Alabama a month, but that old evil $$$ is more important to me than a quality life. :(
Many years back I visited the Mons Venus in Tampa and I had a total blast. It was a cheap sleazy white trash club with quiet music and some perfect looking slutty dancers. Prices seemed very reasonable to cheap. Heaven. :) Anyway, the reviews I'm reading now make me think the club is garbage compared to what it was. Tootsie's, a very good gentlemen's club, is garbage compared to what it was.
So both of these clubs are getting high numerical rankings, but the real deal is that in my opinion I'd love to seek the clock turned back to non-gentlemen's club period.
I think neither of you get it. There is no consensus on what makes a good club or a SUPER club. The hot dancers you like at Platinum Plus would leave some strip club customers cold as would the gentlemen's club atmosphere.
Anyone relying on a numerical rating is a complete moron. You need to *READ* the review. Some clowns will give a club a low rating because the dancers don't have GIANT TITS. Well depending on the rest of the review that may definitely be a club I want to visit. I prefer small to medium natural perky tits.
How difficult can it be to understand that the numerical rating is next to worthless unless it is accompanied by a written review or you know what the reviewer likes?
I don't agree that my rating has to reflect my experience on that one particular visit. For example, my experience at Tootsie's one afternoon was a 1. Why was it a 1? Because the club was too dang busy with happy customers who had the effect of creating a severe dancer shortage. Definitely not a fun visit for me. There is NO way I would give Tootsie's or any other club a 1 merely because I didn't have a good time.
I suspect that most people wouldn't take my reviews seriously if I gave a club a 10 because it was filled with WHALES willing to provide plenty of mileage. But, there are more cusotmers than I can imagine who actually shun fit dancers in favor of WHALES. The man I recommended Angels to turned out to be a WHALE man and to him Angels is THE BEST CLUB IN THE WORLD. When he was telling how wonderful Angels was I was thinking the SUPER HOT PERFECT dancers were back! :) No, such luck--he likes WHALES willing to give mileage and that is why he was raving about what a fantastic place Angels is.
Anyway, I try and make it clear--apparently not always or not clear enough--that the rating could just as easily been a 1 or that the rating is based on potential. I'm not giving any club a poor rating just because I like to visit during off hours. It doesn't make any sense.
For me the potential the club holds is more important than an isolated visit assuming the club is not a gentlemen's club where I expect more dancers, more standardization, more glitz, more professionalism, etc.
The only people who I expect to take my reviews seriously are those individuals who are looking for cheap clubs and who understand that that you don't usually judge these clubs harshly on a single visit. The gentlemen class customer is not usually going to be a happy customer at the clubs I like--He wants a good product and he wants it now! I took another buddy to Angels and he HATED the place and refused to believe SUPER HOT dancers ever hang out there. He is gentlemen class customer. He expects every visit to be filled with SUPER HOT dancers or he will not give his patronage to that club. He pays $20 a dance and usually gets dancers just focused on $$$ while I pay $5 a dance and meet a lot of fantastic dancers who often have making $ as a relatively low priority.
Who is getting the better deal? It depends on what you want.
PS I would be truly amazed if you would like the cheap clubs that I write about. The platinum plus key is that MY REVIEW *NOT* the rating should provide you with enough information to decide if you might want to visit. So ignoring the numerical rating were there ANY cheap clubs you were interested in visiting based on the text of my reviews?
Kyle, you still don't get it. People will not take your reviews seriously if they see that you have given a club a 10 then in the text, you trash the club. the only way that this site has any credability is if people rate and review the clubs based on experience, not potential. there is no problem rating a club a 10 if you had a 10 experience. and there is no problem rating that same club a 2 or 3 if on the next visit you have a 2 or 3 experience. i think that is what people expect. i would never say that even though this visit was awful, i still rate the club a 10. that makes no sense. i know in my mind, all of your reviews are now suspect.
And, you are going to pay $$$, which is fine. Because I live in Miami and like to go to strip clubs often I usually prefer a club with potential. If I was going to be here a single day and wasn't interested in local flavor, then I'd try Goldrush (G) and Tootsie's (G). If I could stay up till 1 AM then I might gamble on the Rol-Lexx (NG) for some cheap excellent action. Central Espanol (NG) might be worth a drive depending on where I'm staying.
I don't usually rate gentlemen's clubs on potential. With the prices charged I expect a good product and will give a rating based more on my experience. But, let's say Tootsie's let me down on one visit. I wouldn't feel right about giving them a 1 because I know they're a good gentlemen's club.
When we are talking about clubs that charge $5 and less per dance then it is a completely different ballgame for me. Even at the best cheap club I don't expect high quality on every visit and usually I go early. Early is supposedly the worst time to go--the best time being 1 AM to 2 AM.
So the problem from my point of view is that we are attempting to rate copper compared to filet mignon. (If all clubs were cheap dives, then my ratings would be more geared toward a single specific experience.) The end result is the gentlemen's clubs get what I believe to be a much higher rating than is merited. My solution which was rejected, by the founder, would be not to give a numerical rating with every review.
I don't see a real problem because the clubs I'm rating are generally off the beaten path. I may be the sole reviewer. And, the text of my review is what a potential visitor should considering.
I might love WHALES and give every club with WHALES a 10. Now, if you don't love fat dancers and read that the reason I gave the club a 10 is because I think WHALES are the greatest and there is a real shortage of WHALES, then you can safely discount my rating of 10. On the other hand if love WHALES, then you might be saying 10 is the perfect rating. :)
BTW, if Tootsie's or Solid Gold or Platinum Plus had $5 dances when most gentlemen's clubs were charging $20 then I give them ratings based on potential. :) I still have nightmares of missing all the good times at Cherries because I believed that my few visits adequately reflected what the club was--DEAD. In fact it was the GREATEST!!! :) I wouldn't have rated it on potential because it was not a cheap club (nor expensive). But, cheap clubs have the same problem--very difficult to judge unless you know a lot more about the club.
Kyle1111, it is amazing how many ways you can say the same thing. i think we all understand your fondness for small, inner city clubs. I myself prefer small "dumpy" clubs to the big showbars. But I still think that ratings and reviews should be based on experience. not potential. I get so frustrated with all the high ratings and reviews for clubs that don't deserve them. I have been to Tootsies, and I agree, it is an 8 or 9, consistently. and that is the most important thing to consider. I have been to Vegas Cabaret in Lauderhill FL numerous times. On occassion it was an 8 or 9, and I rated it so. Other times it was a 4 or 5 at best, and I rated it that way. It makes no sense to me to rate a club on potential. if that was the case. all clubs should be rated a 10.
"When I rate a club I usually start with 10 and subtract for everything I find wrong with it."
That would seem to strongly favor the gentlmen's clubs. Perhaps there should also be additions instead of just subtractions?
Unless I'm stepping on somebody's toes, then I don't see my numerical ratings as a big deal. I recommended Angel's to this computer tech guy and he was completely WILDLY CRAZY about the place and thanked me profusely. I took a friend there and he thought it was a complete dump where he would never set foot again: there was nothing but GIANT dancers when I took him. I asked him "If the dancers where hot, then would you go back?" He answer was an emphatic YES!!! :) The problem is doesn't believe the quality varies that much (it does) so he will never go back preferring instead to spend lots of $$$ at gentlemen's clubs.
It is a shame, but I think most customers are like my friend who will never go back. It is wonderful for the gentlemen's clubs, however.
It is funny, but this GIANT dancer at Angel's is one of the most popular with customers seeking her out. I would rather pay to see her keep her clothing on and to stay away. And, dancers who could attract and command good money at a gentlemen's club are often ignored. One of my ATFs went to a white club after she noticed her best and happiest customers were white. She told me she was a lot happier and made more money than she could believe. So this rating game is more than a little subjective.
Kyle, my favorite type club is the local dive type place - I used to hang out all the time in a real dump called Choo Choo's in MD because at one time they had a great group of girls who I got to know really well. But then they all left and I did too. The place I go to now is a true gentlemen's club in Baltimore, which is a type of place I usually don't like. But unlike most gentlemen's clubs that I've been to, this one has a really friendly laid back atmosphere, at least during the day when it isn't crowded. And I met a girl there who is out of this world, exactly what I always look for and rarely find. So even though the place is over-priced I still go there regularly.
When I rate a club I usually start with 10 and subtract for everything I find wrong with it. And so far I've always found something wrong so I've yet to give any place a 10.
Well, if you're main focus is on promoting a particular gentlemen's club, then you probably wouldn't care at all if the cheap clubs received a disportionately poor & unfair ranking.
I expect cheap clubs to have down time and to have shifts in the quality of dancers. Part of the charm. ;) I've had more rewarding experiences at the cheap clubs and can't see imposing the same expectations as I would for an expensive gentlemen's club. Unfortunately, the law makes it difficult to set up little rinky dink clubs and those are exactly the clubs I like most even if money was not a problem.
I don't mind giving a 10 even where I see significant room for improvement because it is not a free market--think Soviet Union. :) If the club has perfect dancers, good prices, reasonable mileage, and quiet to NO music, then that there is BEYOND 10 even if they a got a roach or two in the beer occasionally. :) And, the reasonable potential of achieving the Big 4 is reason enough to grant a 10!
So if the parking is horrible, then I'd give it a 1 for parking. If the food is lousy I give it another 1 for poor food. If they don't honor their specials, then I give it another 1 for specials. Lastly, the girls are absolutely perfect, then I'd give it a 10 for girls.
So the club ranking should be 2 or 3??? I don't really care for the idea of averaging. I'd rank the club a SUPER 10 especially if the prices and mileage were reasonable.
I think Kyle raises an interesting point, one that we've discussed before. How do you compare a cheap dumpy small neighborhood club where you had a great time because you met this really hot friendly girl, vs. a big gentlemen's club where everything was fancy and expensive and you had an OK time? I once remember visiting a little hole-in-the-wall truck stop XXX video store that had a couple of dancers in a back room that was open 24/7. The place was terrible and I might have given it a 1 but guess what, I really hit it off with one of the girls and had one of my best times ever in a club. How do you rate that? And how do you rate a club that is great during the day when it isn't crowded and everybody is friendly and laid back but is terrible at night when it is crowded and everybody is on the hustle? BTW, I've never given a club a 10 because I've never seen one where something couldn't be improved.
"stopped in before i visited ybor strip. stayed less than 15 min. girls were clustered together. only one who said hi was barmaid. left before i finished my drink"
My reviews may also be garbage, but at least I try to give as many details as possible. Probably because I recognize people have different tastes. Only four sentences--A waste of time even glancing at it. A description of the girls, the club, the time of day, etc. etc. etc. would be very much appreciated. I assume you were unhappy because nobody, but the barmaid said "Hi" to you. You know what? If the damn dancers are hot, please describe them in detail if possible, then more than a few customers would have no problem being friendly first.
Was this reviewer paid to to write such a garbage review to sully a good club? More likely he's just lazy or can't write or is just selfish.
Well I disagree with that. I guess it depends on what you are looking for. At Take One Lounge the customers were looking for GIANT women of 250-300lbs and bigger. I was criticized by two other customers because I found a small girl who would have been a super model at the expensive clubs. The girl herself asked what in the world I wanted with her when there were still big women available. Another club might be filled blue eyed blondes with big chests.
The whole idea of only 30 or 40 clubs rating a 10 is to me 100% absolutely absurd. I like QUIET clubs with LOW prices and SMALL girls. Some other clown might like LOUD clubs with HIGH prices and BIG women. Yes, there are customers who feel better paying premium or think they're getting more by paying more.
So I give a club a 10 and then give it a "wishy-washy" review.
Very interesting. There must be a reason for that. I know! I know! The clubs only paid me enough for a 10 rating, but not enough to write a glowing review. :)
I don't know much about music so I don't know about cutting songs. I do know they are a LOT shorter than the cheap clubs (I think some cheaps doubleup; it is just noise to me). My experience at Tootsies is either an 8, 9, or 10. But, it costs $$$.
A cheap club's real value is low cost and mileage. Unless, I become a regular it is difficult to know how often hot dancers arrive, if at all. Unfortunately, the founder wants a numerical rating. I'm not going to start trashing cheap club's based on a single visit and I'm definitely not going to average visits. But, I think it is important to write a review. There is a conflict. I had asked the founder about the option of not giving a numerical rating. He basically said NO. That is fine and I understood his position.
So will see where this leads if anywhere. But, I really don't appreciate the bias in favor of the expensive gentlemen's clubs. It is a totally different animal. If I had endless money, then I definitely would go to gentlemen's clubs more often, but I'd still go to cheapie clubs. It is a different experience.
At a gentlemen's club I can expect pretty girls and high prices. It is very unusual in my experience to have a bad time in a gentlemen's club because there are more girls and prettier girls and the music isn't too bad. So I go an I know the gentlemen club experience will be a 8 or 9 or 10. I also know the price will be around $200. I think the normal gentlemen's club rating should average to about 8 or 9 over a number of visits.
A a cheap club I can't really expect anything except low prices. There could be no dancers or there could be beautiful dancers everywhere or ugly dancers everywhere or some combination. So over a number of a number of visits averaging the 1 ranking with the 10 ranking it will work out to a 5 ranking. This is complete and utter bullshit.
The ranking of 5 is a complete distortion because it doesn't take into account the EXTREME price difference in the clubs. So, I sort of hope the founder agrees with you. Because, if he doesn't appreciate my reviews and there is no real reason he should, then what the fuck. I will not be doing anymore and people can miss the great clubs like cherries or go to the clubs they'd rather have missed.
Apparently, having a person actually ***READ*** a review about a club they are considering visiting is asking too much in some people's minds.
That is your opinion. And, if the founder agrees with you, then I won't do any more reviews. Fair Deal?
Frankly, I disagree with you. Cherries deserved a hell of a lot better rating than 10 for the fantastic times it gave me. And, it was very fluid--dancers coming and going all the time--unfortunately, they all seemed to come and go in almost like a group.
I have another club, Foxxxy Lady, which will be reviewed soon and guess what. It is a 10 also.
Now, if you went to this club and told me how horrible it was and that it only deserved the lowest ranking of 1 or lower, then I wouldn't be surprised. And, it wouldn't surprise me is someone who likes inner city clubs said it was the greatest and deserves only the highest ranking of 10 or higher.
I'm not going to give a low ranking to a club filled with happy customers and happy dancers even if I don't like the club. I liked Take One, until it was taken over by GIANT women. But, the customers and dancers sure seemed like happy campers. :)
I think if people *READ* my review, then they can give it the appropriate rating based on their values.
If my review doesn't tell you whether you might want to visit or definitely don't want to visit, then I haven't done my job. I might write about the greatest club in the world where all the women are 250 lbs or heavier--this is what should tell you whether it might have interest or not--not the numerical rating.
I had asked the founder to allow reviews to be posted without a numerical rating. He says the numbers are necessary and I see his position and don't really disagee.
I feel the number ratings are biased too much in favor of the gentlemen's clubs which usually are able to put a good product on the table consistently--but at a high price. For example, Tootsie's is a very good club (I'd rate it an 8 or 9), but not only do you spend more $$$ per dance the songs are shorter. But, you have much better consistency (sp?) than at the little cheap clubs. So which is the better club: One that you can have a total blast at for $40, but it is real hit or miss or a gentlemen's club where the similar service would cost around $200?
These numbers are not etched in stone. But, there is a real problem in giving a fair rating. Angels to me has by far the best value. It is a 10. But, if I go at a bad time it will absolutely be dead. So a very good club should get tanked because I show up at a bad time? BTW, I haven't been able to discover a real reliable pattern. Sometimes the place will be filled with super model types which are available CHEAP. Other times there might be 3 giants or even no dancers.
I think somewhere I've written a long article on the destroyed Cherries. This was the club of clubs. It makes all the other clubs look like real dogs--Angels, Tootsies, Rol-Lexxx, Solid Gold, you name the club it doesn't compare. Unfortunately, for me! I didn't realize how fluid the situation was at Cherries. It was the last couple of years of its existence that I learned what a jewel it was by accident. I came in and it was dead (***like always***). Bartender says please don't leave I need some company. I stay and WOW!!! :) I'm in heaven SUPER MODELS everywhere!!! :) Not cheap, but not too expensive and lots of service and friendliness and I'm just too happy. AND NO LOUD MUSIC!!! :) This is a club I would have rated a 1 because whenever I came it was dead. With the help of an old prostitute running the show I had a lot more luck and many fantastic times, but this club had NO schedules. It catered to problem dancers who would come and go at a whim. I was going to this club almost every day it was so wonderful (an expensive experience). Unfortunately, a church bought and killed it.
Another problem is that I do NOT like noise because I can't hear the dancers and my ears ring for days. So a club is loud, but the place is rocking with happy customers and dancers. I'm supposed to give it a negative ranking when I can clearly see it deserves a 10? I'd rather just NOT review it. Another, the club may be a street club with lots of gold teeth, piercings, tattoos, brandings, drugs, and who knows what else. Well, I can see where one person will rank it a 1 and another a 10.
Club Ice is a club that is real hit or miss, but for the money I'll rank it above Tootsies.
Every inner city club that I've reviewed and ranked could legitimately be given the lowest ranking of 1 or the highest ranking of 10. Mainly it depends on a person's perspective.
There was a guy, woolly, who used to give reviews of platinum plus. He would rate each item 1 to 10,
Dancers, Mileage, Stage tipping, Prices, waitreses, couches,
Music & dj
then average them out.
POTENTIAL--is this a valid criteria for rating a club?
Based on my experience I would say that rating a club based on its POTENTIAL value is far more accurate and relevant than basing it on a single visit especially when that single visit is during off hours.
I believe a club that offers the real possiblity of CHEAP HIGH MILEAGE dances with SUPER HOT PERFECT dancers should be rated higher than a gentlemen's club. Of course, if you're wealthy the money may be completely irrelevant. Just like mileage may be completely irrelevant, if you're not really interested in mileage or looks may be completely irrelevant, if you don't care about looks.
Basically, I think it is very proper to rate a non-gentlemen's club on its POTENTIAL and not on a single visit during off hours.
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If I rated like that I'd probably give Tootsie's a Two. And, most GCs a One. Of course, the cheap clubs--available now-- would only rate around Three and Four. When I gave Tens for potential I realized that was going to ruffle a few feathers, needlessly, which is why I asked the founded to allow the submission of reviews without requiring a numerical rating.
Perhaps ruffled feathers in this instance are good. :)
Key West. Must be talking about Teasers. It was wonderful!
If a GC is charging $30 for lap dances and that is the going rate for that type club, then I guess it seems strange to me that you would subtract for that. Or, let's say they charge $35 and the going rate is $50 for that type club. Would they still merit a subtraction? At $20 per lap I'm hurting, but should my poverty equal a lower rating for a good club? (The POTENTIAL a FIVE DOLLAR club in Miami offers far outweighs the certainty and other benefits of a GC. That doesn't mean a GC doesn't deserve a 10 in book; it is just trying to compare oranges with grapes.)
I like the bathroom attendants, if they keep the place sparkling which in my experience they do. (Yes, I'd rather save the buck.)
It is obvious that the kitchen is too hot for you. :)
I'm tired of you trying to impose your values on me! :) Republicans are really nasty like. :) (Yes, I'm technically a Republican--but, please forgive. I was young and thought they believed in less government.)
To me POTENTIAL is far more important than hundreds of well run expensive GENTLEMEN'S CLUBS or EXPENSIVE DIVES. The value is HIGH MILEAGE @ FIVE DOLLARS a dance by SUPER HOT dancers. That is worth a rating of 10 almost everytime. Of course a GC may also deserve a rating of 10, but the expectations are different. I really can't see wanting to go to a ED (EXPENSIVE DIVE) and pay GC prices, but I guess when you're wealthy that ain't a problem.
Perhaps when you give it a little more thought you will want to apologize.
It seems like your "small dive clubs" are ***EXPENSIVE***. Only a single one looked to offer somewhat cheap prices--that one being the club in Greenville with $10 lap dances. (Most of my clubs say $10 lap, but the $5 table is usually the same high contact two way grind. Plus it ain't uncommon to get freebies.) If my small dive clubs were charging gentlemen's club prices then I sure as damn hell would be rating them as if they were gentlemen's clubs. The clubs I'm reviewing have FIVE DOLLAR HIGH MILEAGE DANCES by very nice dancers. I may go at off hours (early) or I may not like girls with a little meat, but damn these clubs surely do rate a PLUS TEN FOR POTENTIAL. And, if I wasn't soooooo darn finicky about PERFECT looks and didn't like going at off hours my experiences would probably be off the scale. If MILEAGE and ATTITUDE are your game and you don't care about race or PERFECT looks, then Miami probably has a lot clubs that easily rate a 10.
I may see your point a little more clearly now--YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT CHEAP HIGH MILEAGE CLUBS. As I was looking over your reviews I was just shaking my head thinking damn these clubs are EXPENSIVE and you must be very wealthy (at least compared to me).
You sound like a wealthy gentlemen's club customer to me (you think there is something wrong with $5 dances). I'm very surprised you are the least bit interested in the clubs I've written about.
In the future I suggest that if you bother to READ one of my reviews that you ignore my numerical ratings. I'm not usually going to be trashing these cheap clubs with a rating scheme I think is too biased in favor of the gentlemen's clubs especially not on a single visit during "off peak" hours (when I generally visit).
Anyway, whether I enjoyed myself should be meaningless--Honest to God. :) It should be my descriptions that are of interest to you and I try to make those as realistic as possible even though they're colored by my biases and writing abilities.
I can just see giving Tootsie's a low rating because I'm depressed making the experience "suck" for me. Could have been wonderful dancers offering super mileage and super prices, but if the my experience was negative, then I should trash the club with a low numerical rating. That's absurd and I think you understand that.
I see it as just having differing opinions when it comes to numerical ratings on cheap clubs.
Some years back The Miami Herald had a review of a BBQ place near me. The reviewer gave it Four Stars the highest possible rating. She described the BBQ as the best she'd ever eaten. Well there ain't much in the way of BBQ here in Miami -- Sonny's is usually good and Shorty's is usually good (the Southern one), but damn neither is even close to Roger's in Tampa which is PURE HEAVEN. :) So I rush that very same day to sample this Four Star BBQ. Nasty foreign tasting garbage and weren't just me that had this opinion cause the place was empty at lunch time in a fairly crowded area of the city. Didn't finish the garbage BBQ which wasn't fit for even a dog.
Initially I was RED HOT with anger. Who the hell did the reviewer think she was taking $$$ to write a glowing review for food I couldn't even finish?! Then it hit me the reviewer was a latina and the garbage food might have actually been mouth watering Four Stars to her . . .
Same principle applies to women and dancers and strip clubs. There are very different ideas of what is nice and what is nasty. I think that I just might be in LOVE with Alabama's bikini clubs if I were a local--too hard to tell unless I start spending night after night with the dancers. Unbelieveable attitude when no $$$ is coming in and the damn place actually allows conversation! :) I was actually tempted to stay in Alabama a month, but that old evil $$$ is more important to me than a quality life. :(
Many years back I visited the Mons Venus in Tampa and I had a total blast. It was a cheap sleazy white trash club with quiet music and some perfect looking slutty dancers. Prices seemed very reasonable to cheap. Heaven. :) Anyway, the reviews I'm reading now make me think the club is garbage compared to what it was. Tootsie's, a very good gentlemen's club, is garbage compared to what it was.
So both of these clubs are getting high numerical rankings, but the real deal is that in my opinion I'd love to seek the clock turned back to non-gentlemen's club period.
I think neither of you get it. There is no consensus on what makes a good club or a SUPER club. The hot dancers you like at Platinum Plus would leave some strip club customers cold as would the gentlemen's club atmosphere.
Anyone relying on a numerical rating is a complete moron. You need to *READ* the review. Some clowns will give a club a low rating because the dancers don't have GIANT TITS. Well depending on the rest of the review that may definitely be a club I want to visit. I prefer small to medium natural perky tits.
How difficult can it be to understand that the numerical rating is next to worthless unless it is accompanied by a written review or you know what the reviewer likes?
I don't agree that my rating has to reflect my experience on that one particular visit. For example, my experience at Tootsie's one afternoon was a 1. Why was it a 1? Because the club was too dang busy with happy customers who had the effect of creating a severe dancer shortage. Definitely not a fun visit for me. There is NO way I would give Tootsie's or any other club a 1 merely because I didn't have a good time.
I suspect that most people wouldn't take my reviews seriously if I gave a club a 10 because it was filled with WHALES willing to provide plenty of mileage. But, there are more cusotmers than I can imagine who actually shun fit dancers in favor of WHALES. The man I recommended Angels to turned out to be a WHALE man and to him Angels is THE BEST CLUB IN THE WORLD. When he was telling how wonderful Angels was I was thinking the SUPER HOT PERFECT dancers were back! :) No, such luck--he likes WHALES willing to give mileage and that is why he was raving about what a fantastic place Angels is.
Anyway, I try and make it clear--apparently not always or not clear enough--that the rating could just as easily been a 1 or that the rating is based on potential. I'm not giving any club a poor rating just because I like to visit during off hours. It doesn't make any sense.
For me the potential the club holds is more important than an isolated visit assuming the club is not a gentlemen's club where I expect more dancers, more standardization, more glitz, more professionalism, etc.
The only people who I expect to take my reviews seriously are those individuals who are looking for cheap clubs and who understand that that you don't usually judge these clubs harshly on a single visit. The gentlemen class customer is not usually going to be a happy customer at the clubs I like--He wants a good product and he wants it now! I took another buddy to Angels and he HATED the place and refused to believe SUPER HOT dancers ever hang out there. He is gentlemen class customer. He expects every visit to be filled with SUPER HOT dancers or he will not give his patronage to that club. He pays $20 a dance and usually gets dancers just focused on $$$ while I pay $5 a dance and meet a lot of fantastic dancers who often have making $ as a relatively low priority.
Who is getting the better deal? It depends on what you want.
PS I would be truly amazed if you would like the cheap clubs that I write about. The platinum plus key is that MY REVIEW *NOT* the rating should provide you with enough information to decide if you might want to visit. So ignoring the numerical rating were there ANY cheap clubs you were interested in visiting based on the text of my reviews?
A gentlemen's club is not a cheap dive. ;)
And, you are going to pay $$$, which is fine. Because I live in Miami and like to go to strip clubs often I usually prefer a club with potential. If I was going to be here a single day and wasn't interested in local flavor, then I'd try Goldrush (G) and Tootsie's (G). If I could stay up till 1 AM then I might gamble on the Rol-Lexx (NG) for some cheap excellent action. Central Espanol (NG) might be worth a drive depending on where I'm staying.
I don't usually rate gentlemen's clubs on potential. With the prices charged I expect a good product and will give a rating based more on my experience. But, let's say Tootsie's let me down on one visit. I wouldn't feel right about giving them a 1 because I know they're a good gentlemen's club.
When we are talking about clubs that charge $5 and less per dance then it is a completely different ballgame for me. Even at the best cheap club I don't expect high quality on every visit and usually I go early. Early is supposedly the worst time to go--the best time being 1 AM to 2 AM.
So the problem from my point of view is that we are attempting to rate copper compared to filet mignon. (If all clubs were cheap dives, then my ratings would be more geared toward a single specific experience.) The end result is the gentlemen's clubs get what I believe to be a much higher rating than is merited. My solution which was rejected, by the founder, would be not to give a numerical rating with every review.
I don't see a real problem because the clubs I'm rating are generally off the beaten path. I may be the sole reviewer. And, the text of my review is what a potential visitor should considering.
I might love WHALES and give every club with WHALES a 10. Now, if you don't love fat dancers and read that the reason I gave the club a 10 is because I think WHALES are the greatest and there is a real shortage of WHALES, then you can safely discount my rating of 10. On the other hand if love WHALES, then you might be saying 10 is the perfect rating. :)
BTW, if Tootsie's or Solid Gold or Platinum Plus had $5 dances when most gentlemen's clubs were charging $20 then I give them ratings based on potential. :) I still have nightmares of missing all the good times at Cherries because I believed that my few visits adequately reflected what the club was--DEAD. In fact it was the GREATEST!!! :) I wouldn't have rated it on potential because it was not a cheap club (nor expensive). But, cheap clubs have the same problem--very difficult to judge unless you know a lot more about the club.
"When I rate a club I usually start with 10 and subtract for everything I find wrong with it."
That would seem to strongly favor the gentlmen's clubs. Perhaps there should also be additions instead of just subtractions?
Unless I'm stepping on somebody's toes, then I don't see my numerical ratings as a big deal. I recommended Angel's to this computer tech guy and he was completely WILDLY CRAZY about the place and thanked me profusely. I took a friend there and he thought it was a complete dump where he would never set foot again: there was nothing but GIANT dancers when I took him. I asked him "If the dancers where hot, then would you go back?" He answer was an emphatic YES!!! :) The problem is doesn't believe the quality varies that much (it does) so he will never go back preferring instead to spend lots of $$$ at gentlemen's clubs.
It is a shame, but I think most customers are like my friend who will never go back. It is wonderful for the gentlemen's clubs, however.
It is funny, but this GIANT dancer at Angel's is one of the most popular with customers seeking her out. I would rather pay to see her keep her clothing on and to stay away. And, dancers who could attract and command good money at a gentlemen's club are often ignored. One of my ATFs went to a white club after she noticed her best and happiest customers were white. She told me she was a lot happier and made more money than she could believe. So this rating game is more than a little subjective.
When I rate a club I usually start with 10 and subtract for everything I find wrong with it. And so far I've always found something wrong so I've yet to give any place a 10.
Well, if you're main focus is on promoting a particular gentlemen's club, then you probably wouldn't care at all if the cheap clubs received a disportionately poor & unfair ranking.
I expect cheap clubs to have down time and to have shifts in the quality of dancers. Part of the charm. ;) I've had more rewarding experiences at the cheap clubs and can't see imposing the same expectations as I would for an expensive gentlemen's club. Unfortunately, the law makes it difficult to set up little rinky dink clubs and those are exactly the clubs I like most even if money was not a problem.
I don't mind giving a 10 even where I see significant room for improvement because it is not a free market--think Soviet Union. :) If the club has perfect dancers, good prices, reasonable mileage, and quiet to NO music, then that there is BEYOND 10 even if they a got a roach or two in the beer occasionally. :) And, the reasonable potential of achieving the Big 4 is reason enough to grant a 10!
So if the parking is horrible, then I'd give it a 1 for parking. If the food is lousy I give it another 1 for poor food. If they don't honor their specials, then I give it another 1 for specials. Lastly, the girls are absolutely perfect, then I'd give it a 10 for girls.
So the club ranking should be 2 or 3??? I don't really care for the idea of averaging. I'd rank the club a SUPER 10 especially if the prices and mileage were reasonable.
"stopped in before i visited ybor strip. stayed less than 15 min. girls were clustered together. only one who said hi was barmaid. left before i finished my drink"
My reviews may also be garbage, but at least I try to give as many details as possible. Probably because I recognize people have different tastes. Only four sentences--A waste of time even glancing at it. A description of the girls, the club, the time of day, etc. etc. etc. would be very much appreciated. I assume you were unhappy because nobody, but the barmaid said "Hi" to you. You know what? If the damn dancers are hot, please describe them in detail if possible, then more than a few customers would have no problem being friendly first.
Was this reviewer paid to to write such a garbage review to sully a good club? More likely he's just lazy or can't write or is just selfish.
Well I disagree with that. I guess it depends on what you are looking for. At Take One Lounge the customers were looking for GIANT women of 250-300lbs and bigger. I was criticized by two other customers because I found a small girl who would have been a super model at the expensive clubs. The girl herself asked what in the world I wanted with her when there were still big women available. Another club might be filled blue eyed blondes with big chests.
The whole idea of only 30 or 40 clubs rating a 10 is to me 100% absolutely absurd. I like QUIET clubs with LOW prices and SMALL girls. Some other clown might like LOUD clubs with HIGH prices and BIG women. Yes, there are customers who feel better paying premium or think they're getting more by paying more.
So I give a club a 10 and then give it a "wishy-washy" review.
Very interesting. There must be a reason for that. I know! I know! The clubs only paid me enough for a 10 rating, but not enough to write a glowing review. :)
That'll teach those cheapskate club owners!!! :)
I don't know much about music so I don't know about cutting songs. I do know they are a LOT shorter than the cheap clubs (I think some cheaps doubleup; it is just noise to me). My experience at Tootsies is either an 8, 9, or 10. But, it costs $$$.
A cheap club's real value is low cost and mileage. Unless, I become a regular it is difficult to know how often hot dancers arrive, if at all. Unfortunately, the founder wants a numerical rating. I'm not going to start trashing cheap club's based on a single visit and I'm definitely not going to average visits. But, I think it is important to write a review. There is a conflict. I had asked the founder about the option of not giving a numerical rating. He basically said NO. That is fine and I understood his position.
So will see where this leads if anywhere. But, I really don't appreciate the bias in favor of the expensive gentlemen's clubs. It is a totally different animal. If I had endless money, then I definitely would go to gentlemen's clubs more often, but I'd still go to cheapie clubs. It is a different experience.
Or, was it Cherry's?
At a gentlemen's club I can expect pretty girls and high prices. It is very unusual in my experience to have a bad time in a gentlemen's club because there are more girls and prettier girls and the music isn't too bad. So I go an I know the gentlemen club experience will be a 8 or 9 or 10. I also know the price will be around $200. I think the normal gentlemen's club rating should average to about 8 or 9 over a number of visits.
A a cheap club I can't really expect anything except low prices. There could be no dancers or there could be beautiful dancers everywhere or ugly dancers everywhere or some combination. So over a number of a number of visits averaging the 1 ranking with the 10 ranking it will work out to a 5 ranking. This is complete and utter bullshit.
The ranking of 5 is a complete distortion because it doesn't take into account the EXTREME price difference in the clubs. So, I sort of hope the founder agrees with you. Because, if he doesn't appreciate my reviews and there is no real reason he should, then what the fuck. I will not be doing anymore and people can miss the great clubs like cherries or go to the clubs they'd rather have missed.
Apparently, having a person actually ***READ*** a review about a club they are considering visiting is asking too much in some people's minds.
One last point. :) None of the clubs pay me and if anything they'd probably pay me to keep my big fat mouth shut! :)
That is your opinion. And, if the founder agrees with you, then I won't do any more reviews. Fair Deal?
Frankly, I disagree with you. Cherries deserved a hell of a lot better rating than 10 for the fantastic times it gave me. And, it was very fluid--dancers coming and going all the time--unfortunately, they all seemed to come and go in almost like a group.
I have another club, Foxxxy Lady, which will be reviewed soon and guess what. It is a 10 also.
Now, if you went to this club and told me how horrible it was and that it only deserved the lowest ranking of 1 or lower, then I wouldn't be surprised. And, it wouldn't surprise me is someone who likes inner city clubs said it was the greatest and deserves only the highest ranking of 10 or higher.
I'm not going to give a low ranking to a club filled with happy customers and happy dancers even if I don't like the club. I liked Take One, until it was taken over by GIANT women. But, the customers and dancers sure seemed like happy campers. :)
I think if people *READ* my review, then they can give it the appropriate rating based on their values.
If my review doesn't tell you whether you might want to visit or definitely don't want to visit, then I haven't done my job. I might write about the greatest club in the world where all the women are 250 lbs or heavier--this is what should tell you whether it might have interest or not--not the numerical rating.
I had asked the founder to allow reviews to be posted without a numerical rating. He says the numbers are necessary and I see his position and don't really disagee.
I feel the number ratings are biased too much in favor of the gentlemen's clubs which usually are able to put a good product on the table consistently--but at a high price. For example, Tootsie's is a very good club (I'd rate it an 8 or 9), but not only do you spend more $$$ per dance the songs are shorter. But, you have much better consistency (sp?) than at the little cheap clubs. So which is the better club: One that you can have a total blast at for $40, but it is real hit or miss or a gentlemen's club where the similar service would cost around $200?
These numbers are not etched in stone. But, there is a real problem in giving a fair rating. Angels to me has by far the best value. It is a 10. But, if I go at a bad time it will absolutely be dead. So a very good club should get tanked because I show up at a bad time? BTW, I haven't been able to discover a real reliable pattern. Sometimes the place will be filled with super model types which are available CHEAP. Other times there might be 3 giants or even no dancers.
I think somewhere I've written a long article on the destroyed Cherries. This was the club of clubs. It makes all the other clubs look like real dogs--Angels, Tootsies, Rol-Lexxx, Solid Gold, you name the club it doesn't compare. Unfortunately, for me! I didn't realize how fluid the situation was at Cherries. It was the last couple of years of its existence that I learned what a jewel it was by accident. I came in and it was dead (***like always***). Bartender says please don't leave I need some company. I stay and WOW!!! :) I'm in heaven SUPER MODELS everywhere!!! :) Not cheap, but not too expensive and lots of service and friendliness and I'm just too happy. AND NO LOUD MUSIC!!! :) This is a club I would have rated a 1 because whenever I came it was dead. With the help of an old prostitute running the show I had a lot more luck and many fantastic times, but this club had NO schedules. It catered to problem dancers who would come and go at a whim. I was going to this club almost every day it was so wonderful (an expensive experience). Unfortunately, a church bought and killed it.
Another problem is that I do NOT like noise because I can't hear the dancers and my ears ring for days. So a club is loud, but the place is rocking with happy customers and dancers. I'm supposed to give it a negative ranking when I can clearly see it deserves a 10? I'd rather just NOT review it. Another, the club may be a street club with lots of gold teeth, piercings, tattoos, brandings, drugs, and who knows what else. Well, I can see where one person will rank it a 1 and another a 10.
Club Ice is a club that is real hit or miss, but for the money I'll rank it above Tootsies.
Every inner city club that I've reviewed and ranked could legitimately be given the lowest ranking of 1 or the highest ranking of 10. Mainly it depends on a person's perspective.
It was depressing rating it a 1. I've been going to this club more than a decade.
Dancers, Mileage, Stage tipping, Prices, waitreses, couches,
Music & dj
then average them out.
POTENTIAL--is this a valid criteria for rating a club?
Based on my experience I would say that rating a club based on its POTENTIAL value is far more accurate and relevant than basing it on a single visit especially when that single visit is during off hours.
I believe a club that offers the real possiblity of CHEAP HIGH MILEAGE dances with SUPER HOT PERFECT dancers should be rated higher than a gentlemen's club. Of course, if you're wealthy the money may be completely irrelevant. Just like mileage may be completely irrelevant, if you're not really interested in mileage or looks may be completely irrelevant, if you don't care about looks.
Basically, I think it is very proper to rate a non-gentlemen's club on its POTENTIAL and not on a single visit during off hours.