Anyone looking for a RELATIONSHIP with a stripper which DOES NOT INVOLVE SEX?

Shadowcat, your story doesn't sound like "shit" to me; sounds like fun. Way to go.

Well Mouse I'm not realy dissagreeing with anything that you are saying. I'm only telling a story about something that is part of MY strip club experience. Now, don't get the wrong Idea. When my friend was a dancer I visited her at work and spent plenty on her. We both understood that seeing her at work was not the same as doing lunch outside. It was business.
I have to be honest here. I don't posting on this board as a responsibility to educate newbies about the perils of strip clubs. I relate my experiences and the vast majority of them have been positive. This may be because of the type of women that I am attracted to, it may be because I am actualy fairly cynical and never really believed in the concept of a free lunch, or it may be because I've been going to clubs for so freakin' many years that I've forgotten what it was like to be wet behind the ears. At any rate, I beleive people are smart enough to figure out what they need to know on their own. You have to live your own life. We all suffer through some tough learning experiences along the way. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....and smarter.

Yoda, I've been fine, and I assume likewise for you. In regards to the topic, I believe what you say about your friendship with your former ATF - you've always seemed forthright to me. Yet, in my experience any real relationship is very unusual between strippers and customers, and I would not like to give the impression to neophytes that such relationships are common, or to be expected. I view strippers as working girls, and when I have had realistic expectations, my stripper-client relationships go much better. I've been told many times by the girls that they appreciate clients that understand the "business" - they actually feel less threatened and begin to relax more. And, when they relax, mileage improves.

Shadowcat had it right. The dancer was between engagements.

Hello there Mouse, how are ya!

My relationship with my former ATF may appear to be unusual but it's really nothing more than a friendship - based on trust, between two people who care about each other. These are the building blocks for any real freindship . I didn't go looking for it and neither did she. It just happened. We have both been supportive of each other at difficult times in our lives enjoyed good times together as well. It's only rare in the sense that all true friendships are rare. The thing to remember is that there is no trick or magic plan that will guarantee sucess in any type of relationship.

Do all customers become friends with their ATF's? Obviosly not otherwise this thread wouldn't even exist. All things are possible and, as always, I simply refuse to buy into stereotypes or judge people based on them.

Yoda, this relationship you describe must be very unusual, even in your vast strip-club experience. 99% of the customers are not going to succeed in establishing a relationship with a stripper outside the club; customers should not get their hopes up. In fact, to strippers, customers often appear foolish when they try too hard. This position has been expressed before on this Board by strippers.

I hate to burst RL's buble but one of my closest friends is a retired dancer who was my ATF when she was dancing. We speak regularly, see each other as often as possible considering our schedules and have never had sex and never will. TGG is right about nurturing a freindship. My friend and I often go for months without seeing each other and weeks without speaking live on te phone. We both use voicemail to keep in touch and it works very well. It's actualy kinda fun!

Charlie, did you call or write to her during your trip? If not, and the trip was over a week or so, she might have thought you were not interested. Even platonic friendships need care and attention, or they wither. Just a voicemail message can work wonders, and lets the lady know you are thinking of them...

I have a couple of stripper friends who have attended my shows. I do some off <<ahem>> Boston acting and directing and some of the ladies from a local club have attended. The sex thing is there of course; I'm willing . . . they're not. :(

I visited a temporarily unemployed stripper a few times outside of the club where she used to work before she got fired for leaving the club early (with me) and I wasn't expecting sex.

First of all, how long where you gone on a business trip? probably no more than a couple of months. "Out of sight, out of mind applies more to when a relationship has broken off not when you are away for a few weeks or even a few months. You are one of the few that have had a friendly relatioship with a stripper that you met at a club. You stated that you wasn't looking for something serious just a good friend to hang out with so you basically got what you wanted. I wouldn't worry about why she broke things off.

I have dated a dancer for a relationship and not sex. I was just looking for someone to have dinner, a movie and to cuddle with. This was going fine for about 3 months, we would see each other a couple times a week at her work and a couple time away, then I went out of town on a business trip and when I got back the relationship was over. I guess out of site out of mind. To this day I don't know what her problem was.... Would I do it again????

The dancer knows that the customer will eventually want sex from her even if he states otherwise. They already know that sex is on a guys mind when ever he comes into a stripclub and when he is getting lapdances so why would he think differently if he ever got the chance to be with her outside the club.