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The lion system - dealing with your penile spikes

Mar 29, 2015, 4:12 PM
Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion
Straight outta tha NC, comin' atcha with an AK ready to steal your daughter. ROAR!!!

Many of you believe that you can simply ask a hooker for sex. Not so. Would you simply ask a civvie girl for sex? I think not! It is even worse for me. Last week I asked a nice and sexy lioness if she wants some fun and what does she say to me? Her reply was "No thanks Rick, your penis has spines on it".

Can you believe that? I tried to tell her that they would scratch the walls of her vagina and stimulate ovulation. that did not work.

So I have identified a sexy young lioness with daddy issues. I'm showing up wearing my best suit just to talk to her. I think I have an at least 35% chance of charming her into some hot lion on lioness action.

comments (8)

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Avatar for rickthelion
rickthelion

Do the strippers you people have sex with ever complain about your penile spines?

Perhaps it is worse for me because my penile spines are so large and manly! But please share your stories. It'll help me better adapt my system for humans.

Avatar for Dougster
Dougster

It's like a jungle sometimes; makes me wonder how I keep from going under.

Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

Keep this shit up

Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

The system wins 35% of the time

Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

@rickthelion...were you a bed wetter when you were a kid? If you were you may have some unresolved daddy issues. That may be why you stroke managers and grease bouncers?

Avatar for jackslash
jackslash

You can't hide your lion eyes.

Avatar for motorhead
motorhead

For your summer reading list:

"Lions in the Cave" by Hugo First

"Lions in the Jungle" by Claude Balls

Avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe

crazyjoe- "...17 Hours Ago • @rickthelion...you may have some unresolved daddy issues. That may be why you stroke managers and grease bouncers?"

Brilliant! But I bet the lion is not as much of a d-bag as the real rickdugan!

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