Funding the hobby...

For starters, I think that many of the guys on this board are actually single and don't have a missus to worry about.

Most married guys that I've known who spend serious coin in clubs either control the banking activity for their households or have side accounts to draw from. For you, there may be no easy answer if your banking is done jointly and she is monitoring the activity.

Maybe if it wouldn't be missed and your employer offers a multiple direct deposit option your check, you could have some small % of your check sent to a side account. Otherwise you'll probably be stuck with squirreling away small amounts of cash until you have enough for a worthwhile trip.

The question of magnitude is also an obvious factor, since of course the more you make, the less that a few hundred bucks or so will be missed. If it takes "months" to get $500 out the door, then in all honesty maybe you should just be happy with what you do now as spending more might be detrimental to you.

Good luck!

Pretty much the only guys here who are "happily married" are ones whose wives either go to clubs with them or are aware of and allow/encourage them going to strip clubs.

every situation is so different that what works for me probably wouldn't for you. I'd try doing some google searches for ideas. For example do a google search on how men hide assets in divorce. I'm not saying that I've ever done such a search of course. Just sounds like a good source of ideas, hypothetically speaking.

Single/happily divorced but I find the problem intriguing. Hard to keep up a steady stream of SC $$ if the wifey is privy to all the finances. Dugan's suggestion about an additional direct deposit is worthy of consideration- say it's a new additional investment/retirement vehicle- but this will eventually come home to roost when the money (some or all) is not there. You could purchase items (ie, a set of tools), make a little show of it, and then just return them and pocket the refund, but tough to do with great regularity. Squirrel cash away, change your spending habits. Quiting the daily Starbucks could net you a couple of lappers a month. lol

I don't think too many guys fit all three of those points.

The bottom line is you can't spend more than would be missed.

Being on a leash may seem like a pain-in-the-ass now but in hindsight, you may be glad there was some restraint. Funner than shit but spending cash in a SC is a huge waste of money.

When I was married, we had a joint account, but my salary came into my account first, and then I transferred it into the joint account. In addition, I controlled the finances from A to Z. I am not a "my wife gives me an allowance every week" kind of guy, never will be, and I've never understood guys who completely give up their financial independence, particularly if they are the breadwinners. I think in your situation, if I'm reading it right -- everything goes straight into the joint account, and she actively monitors/manages it -- I think you're stuck with siphoning and saving a little bit extra each week. The option Rick outlined of using direct deposit options to siphon off some directly from your paycheck is a fine one, but easily discoverable by her if she looks at your electronic paycheck, and pretty much impossible to explain

Thanks for all the comments, so she does control the finances, I used to, but during my first deployment to Iraq she took over the finances since this was before widespread online bill payment, three deployments later she still does the day to day moving of money, but we decide jointly where it goes.

Unfortunately I agree with most of you that I am stuck getting $5-10 cash back each time I make a purchase somewhere. It does add up pretty quickly, it's just pretty annoying. although I am kinda glad to have the restraint, if I were a single man I can only guess how much if be blowing at the SC.

Go with a friend or a few friends to lunch or dinner on occasion. At the end of the meal, when you divide the check, ask if anyone cares if you pay the entire check with your credit card and pocket the cash they kick you for each of their portions. Works even better if you have an unmarried friend that you occasionally dine and/or SC with as you can be open with him about your intentions.

If you are self employed, casually, but briefly, discuss doing business with you. Then write off the entire meal and pocket the SC cash from them. We call that the trifecta. LOL

He is one trick I learned. Just a suggestion, of course... :)

When you use your credit or debit card at say a Target, grocery store, etc. if when you pay for items, it allows you take cash back... I.e. If you use the self checkout and it allows you to get money back, use that money for your clubbing. When you get the bank statement or credit card statement many times it won't show it as two separate transactions. So, if you buy a $10 item and you ask for $100 back, it shows as only a $110 purchase at like, say, Home Depot or something like that.

Not that I've ever done that in the past... Of course. :)

Pimp dat bitch wife out and use dat cash for strippers.

AfrcanLovePimp

Could you take out a 401K loan from your employer? It would have no tax consequences. Only difference would be monthly payments which would reduce your paycheck slightly. This assumes of course that she would not see your retirement account statements.

Also, any way to get some money due to you in a check and not direct deposit. For example, reimbursement of work expenses.

Cash back from debit card purchases is starting to go the way of the dodo. At least one of the markets in the DC metro area has started separating grocery purchases from cash received on you bank statements. Be warned!

Maybe you could start a cash business selling items that strippers need. There's someone in this area who makes the rounds at the clubs selling dance costumes. Do you sew?

Take out a large insurance policy on the wifey and then taker her skiing in a very wooded area.

I am happily married and I do go to clubs for ITC action. Our accounts are separate and I make enough to hide to $300 here or there. She has a job for her habits and I have my job for mine. Sex at home four nights a week and clubs two or three times a month. I don't carry a phone or a PDA so I am always incommunicado.

No Papi you take her for a country drive over a narrow wooden bridge! Oh wait that was Ted Kennedy and the pregnant girlfriend he murdered. Never mind skiing is better.

Skiing it is!!!!

I am happily married and even MORE happily married with separate checking accounts. What she don't see, she don't miss.

if you have to squirrel away money on the sly then what war hawks suggested is probably the easiest way. when you buy something at walmart or target or the grocery store and use your debit card it always asks if you want cash back. just take out an extra $20-100 and after a few trips over a couple of weeks you have enough for you SC visit.

i wonder how many married people DON'T have to hide their SC visits?

Whereas I live in a largely non-extras area where even OTC is difficult to come by, #3 is the only one that basically doesn't apply for me.

I outlined in a different thread that joint accounts aren't a thing my SO and I do. I have a rough monthly budget for club activities of about $300. Some months I go over, others I don't. I often go over if traveling, but if I'm traveling, I'm also likely working for extra money, so it ends up being kind of a wash.

When I see or know of a married guy, even if one is my brother and he's working but it sounds like he's getting an allowance from his wife and not handling the finances, I think he's a bit crazy and a slave to his wife. That's not for me. Seeing that made me think marriage was not for me. I can spend as little as $60 or as much as $300 in a single night and no one complains. Well I might be a bit bored if I'm not getting any lap dances. $60 will barely cover getting you into two different clubs and buying a few drinks and tips, maybe a couple of dances as well.

One of my brothers barely carries around more than twenty bucks in his wallet, I'm like holy cow, That's not marriage, that's slavery to his wife and family. He told me long ago he wasn't interested in being teased in strip clubs and I thought he was happier being told what to do so I left him alone. he found a wife that tells him what to do IMO. I can tell he's not as happy nowadays as he once was. The really sad thing is when these guys make a whole lot more than me but end up with almost nothing. some people have serious spending and money management problems and they can make almost twice as much as me but end up with a whole lot less. seems to be the American way with some couples.

I don't know what sort of place you work at, but do you have access to a fridge of some sort at work? Maybe you could pull out, say, $20 a couple times a week (have to spend some money on lunch) and then actually brown bag it?

Isn't love a beautiful thing?

I control the finances in my house and my wife can't even read a bank statement. I make lots of money with extra amounts for expenses and commissions coming into my account in various amounts several times a month. I just skim what I need from commissions and expense reimbursements and I also put myself on a daily limit. If I go to a bum club and don't spend all the money I allotted I carry it over to the next day. Then I have extra to spend.

Have you tried online crowd sourcing? Seems to work for just about everything :)

Papi, maybe we should start one for the ultimate TUSCL meetup.