Sex is about power?

And I'm not discounting the fact that just like Frosted Flakes "they're great" But this drive to have sex with multiple women instead of settling with one and only one, it's a power trip.

Gaca,I hear what you say.I have chiseled good looks,fat wallet and a sense of humor.I wish I had a dime for every time someone tried to dial me up. Guys and girls just won't leave me alone.I've had sex with more women than most here combined.I can't even get away from the chick that delivers my mail.Explain that to the neighbors.

Sex can be about power, but it isn't always. Sometimes it's about love. Sometimes it's about sex.

A lack of sex can really drag down a man's soul. But I do think it's good to diversify your feelings of self worth.

^^^ nothing like having Dice's to cosign my comment to solidify the fact I've reached a new level of douche bag. Thanks :(

@JamesSD you're a very positive person. You really should look into become a yoga instructor. The perqs would be awesome :)

Gaca,I'm telling you ,it's like scratching fleas.

And Gaca,yes I abuse my power.

Gaca,did I squish your prune?

Dice, I don't know how to engage in less than intellectual banter. I have this whole witty intelligence vibe about me if you hadn't noticed.

So...I guess I can offer you boo-boo-kaka. I fucks big tittie granny's allz da timez?

So if you have an existential subject you'd like to discuss. ...that's my porn.

Wow. I've always that litmus test. No wonder I deliver pizzas for a living.

@PhantomGeek You are delivering pizzas because it's comfortable. You failing the litmus test just means your not tagging the stay-at-home mom's and sorority girls you meet on your delivery route. Which also means you aren't maximizing your pizza delivery numbers to be the #1 pizza delivery boy in the region, with repeated call from these women who you should be tagging, which means you won't get promoted to supervisor or management....which is why you will just be delivering pizza for the foreseeable future. Yankees Phantom we need to get you laid.

GACA, tagging -- as in spray-painting graffiti all over them? ; P I wouldn't want to get into management anyway. It's bad enough getting all sorts of bullshit on the bottom of the ladder, but as manager, yikes -- too much from all sides. 'Sides, it's always nice getting out of the store. I can't argue about me needing to get laid; Pornhub can only do so much.

Bubba Club,i'm up monitoring the overseas.What are you doing you minimum wage motherfucker?

What about -sex feels good. Not all impulses can be rationalized to indicate baser impulses. Too much thinking always ruins a good thing. I am an intellectual and I know.

For the record, Freud never said that. Neither did Oscar Wilde, who is usually credited (falsely). I take it be a cliche about our sex drive at a subliminal level. It seems to me that any grown man who believes that getting laid a lot is a measure of his own worth is one insecure puppy.

Yeah, but to a degree, sex is tied in to our self-esteem. If we get laid on any sort of reasonably regular basis, whether with one person or a string of people, it reaffirms our virility and self-esteem. Getting shot down on any sort of regular basis tends to eat away at it. And often getting friend-zoned, especially by the most promiscuous people, tends to nuke a guy's self-esteem and sense of virility.

I can only speak for myself. For me, sex is about orgasms. Any other purpose is all just psychobabble.

Sex is about a Cleveland Steam Roller for some people

For me sex is about blowing a load.

GACA's original article: tuscl.net

We need to ask founder to change it so that Articles can bump just like discussions do. Right now Articles are getting the short shrift.

Anyway, I said that I was having a hard time relating to GACA, that I was not like him and that I am quite sure that I never was. No ill will intended there, just telling the truth. What it seemed like to me was that he was describing wanting to get laid, but only if he can do it nonchalantly. To me that is someone who has a higher priority than getting laid.

And then with the discussion of the fat woman from El Salvador and hinting that he might be able to do something for her with her immigration papers, that is just completely out of line.

So I slept on the matter and concluded that probably GACA is just coming out of a college environment where a lot of young women do operate on the hookup script. But beyond college, most of them will revert to the slower and more conservative dating script.

So if what GACA wants is to get laid, then it should be no problem. He will just have to compromise with the women some and do it by their rules, the dating script. If on the other hand his priority is to look nonchalant, then he might be able to pull it off sometimes, but he might also run into difficulty.

In a college environment many of the women are still being supported by their parents, and also everyone is considered prescreened, and so many of the women will use the hookup script.

But beyond college, women are more careful who they associate with. They have 'standards'. It is not enough just to exude confidence and be considered attractive. They also want to know that you are measuring up to social expectations. So they need to see what you keep in your pants, your car keys and your wallet. So most of the time they will insist on the dating script.

Now I can think of two exceptions. One is P4P, and most of his here are going for some version of that.

The other is that there are usually some nightclubs which cater to people a little bit older, office workers, and the women will go home with you. But it is still all based on social status, what kind of job you have, what kind of clothes you wear, and what kind of car you drive.

So my reason for replying to GACA was just to let him know that he shouldn't take it personally if life after college is not the same as being in college. It is just that the rules are a bit different as the women are using different standards.

I certainly wish it were different, but it isn't. Challenging it head on does not work. Effective challenges have to be indirect.

Now as far as sex being about power, yes of course I completely agree with that. The sex act itself is about power, but also so are the flirtations which set it up. It is not just a one way flow of power either, it works two ways in the roles and scripts which are deployed.

In one article dealing with S and M role playing I read the insight that there are elements of dominance and submission in all human relations, and even more so when it comes to sex.

So at one of our Sunnyvale no touching clubs I was explaining this to a dancer who was describing to me how she was into restraints and even into gang rape fantasies. I told her that I did not need to employ mechanical restraints to be aggressive with a girl, holding my hands as I might to hold her wrists while pinning her on the ground. I also explained that it is very easy to injure a girl is she is in mechanical restraints. So I don't go for that.

This conversation was going extremely well with this one. And this is one of the benefits of our no touching clubs. For a modest amount of money the conversation can often get quite far, and you can get a girl quite well primed for outside relations.

And this is another example of how sex is about power. It is not just the act itself, it is also all the preliminaries. At these no touching clubs sometimes the conversation can go quite far. But other times, push it too fast, and the girl will just snap and walk away pissed. Need to be cautious about doing it. And there is a big difference between exuding confidence, and just being cocky.

SJG

Tina Turner & Chuck Berry - Rock n roll music youtube.com

I'm with John Smith on this one ... for me, sex always has been about orgasms. When I went to strip clubs I wanted to get the weasel greased.

Furthermore, the hotter the girl, the more enjoyable the orgasm (and the stroking that leads up to orgasm). I didn't ENJOY the sex with ugly women, or with women who weren't physically alluring to me.

I guess that politically correct feminazi might say, that what I found physically alluring was actually culturally dictated. Rationally the feminazi could conclude, that because my dick has no eyeballs, the visual appearance of a woman actually has very little to do with how turned-on my dick should be, since her skills at blowjobs, or the firmness and lushness of her pussy, or whatever-else included in the tactile department of sexuality, are all things that must be experienced in order to be assessed. I disagree (duh, we all do) with the feminazi and say that, an INHERENT part of sexuality is IN AND OF ITSELF looking for pleasure at a hot-looking object of our gaze. Hot-looking, therefore, is part of the "it's about the orgasms" reason for sex.

Dunno why I felt I had to discredit said feminazi wrong-headed theory. But there ya go, I gave it a go because I felt I had to, wuddever ...

After all is said and done, I don't really understand "power." When people say that all relationships have a power dynamic, or that sex is about power, or that certain people have a more indomitable will than others, I don't really get what they mean. I am a bit of an Asperger's type -- nerdy, interested in logical puzzles, addicted to internet sudoku, for instance. I don't recall ever having responded, for good or ill, to someone else's indomitable will, nor do I recall ever having tried to dominate another with my own will. Maybe I've been doing so, but to a lesser extent than most people, and I just don't notice it.

Anyway, sex isn't about "power" for me. It's about FEELING GOOD on the NERVE ENDINGS.

Or maybe I'm just deluded ...

@BG If sex was only about the orgasm, which it truly is for a small number of men, then I agree with the feminatzi and it really wouldn't matter what a girl looked like there would be more emphasis on what she felt like. Black guys would be right on that a certain amount of body fat would enhance the physical experience, most middle class men are however more wrapped up on the status and prestige of the fuck, which is why we'll go for thinner younger hotter women, the added feelings of self importance and the endorphins that fire (similar to the way it does when major goals are achieved like getting a new car, job promotion etc) add to the dopamine to increase your level of orgasm. But make no mistake the way to achieve your orgasm - to get your high, was thru the prestige of fucking a hot lady, and not the lady herself. This to me is the 'power' in relation to sex, not just dominance, but exerting your influence, manifesting the impression in your into the real world. Power.

*manifesting the impression in your mind out into the real world

I think one of us are misunderstanding one another here. My comment was only to put emphasis on the pleasures of a GFE relationship. Its so much more than getting laid. It includes all of the foreplay leading up to getting laid. Getting laid by a girl that actually wants your dock in her. She wants it so bad that she will do anything for you to get your dick. We are talking about power here. And control. The foreplay techniques the SJG and I describe are what brings a girl to the point where she yields total control of her body to you and you can do any thing you want with her. She gives you total control and loses all power to resist your advances. Maybe we are talking about the same thing here and just saying it a different way but getting laid for me is just the icing on the cake. And the pursuit of having her is what drives me.

Dick damn that spell check !

GACA,

To be honest, from reading your original article I found it hard to relate to you, hard for me to understand where you are coming from.

But it seems like you want to "get laid", which in large measure you are, but that you want it without extending yourself very far.

So the girls are at least 18yo and so are you, so you have the right to try and make it go the way you want. But I am just saying that most civvies beyond college seem to expect a liitle bit more than a hookup. After college, women have a different agenda.

So while you have the right to try, since sex is about power and since it flows both ways, you might end up having to compromise with them some. And then likewise, why would you want to be expending energy to deliberately maintain emotional distance from them? Women like a guy that they can comfortably engage with, and there is nothing wrong with that.

SJG

The basic human instincts of self-preservation and procreation motivate every single human on this planet.

Power determines how these instincts are satisfied.

@FA ^^^ and how often

@farmerart,

So how are you wanting to relate your hypothesis to GACA's original post?

The way I am putting it to GACA is, do you want to get laid or do you want to be nonchalant? I suspect that it is the latter, and that this is what he means by his "groove". I'm not saying that either would be wrong. I just want to understand.

For myself, coming across as nonchalant has never been a specific objective. So it is a bit of a stretch for me to be able to relate to his posts.

SJG

Unflattering Ho Chi Minh documentary: youtube.com

Flattering one: youtube.com

FA +10. It's also dictated by how that power is wielded.

@SJG behaving nonchalant in terms of receiving sexual tension from a simple is only part of the process in getting laid. I don't want to act nonchalant I have to act nonchalant or else I'd never get laid. IME girls don't have sex with guys who are desperate for sex, if you are desperate for something you're usually indifferent or nonchalant about it. but the point I made is I found a solution for me to get back into the "mental zone" I needed to be in to get back to routinely getting laid. That's all. Anything else you mentioned is way past that point. I don't think that hard.

I agree that if you are seen as desperate, then you won't do very well. There is a certain degree of posturing required. But it also has to be a two way exchange. My main point is that outside life usually is not like college dormitories. Being cocky is not the same thing is exuding well justified confidence. Someone who displays the latter is more likely going to be able to compromise and to recognize that women also have their own interests and need for dignity and respect.

You wrote,

"At one point I couldn't even get the fat chick from El Salvador down stairs to come up and fuck me even when I hinted I might be able to help her get her papers."

This does not to me connote one who is likely considering those interests. It sounds like someone who only sees social hierarchy and is interested in keeping score.

SJG

Rolling Stones, Chicago 2013 youtube.com