Sex is about power?
GACA
Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.
SJG and Jesrite made a comment on the article I submitted that I seem to have an over emphasis on getting laid. My response is this:
Freud said "Everything is about sex except for sex. Sex is about power."
Getting laid is just a sign that you are considered attractive/desirable to the opposite sex. Being attractive/desirable comes with its own benefits besides getting laid, getting laid is more of a litmus test. But a litmus test can be a great indicator. So yes there is an emphasis on being able to get laid, for me that's part of an indication on a man's overall potential social success. Girls are attracted to confidence and confidence leads to success. Not getting laid means there an absolute lack of confidence IMO.
Freud said "Everything is about sex except for sex. Sex is about power."
Getting laid is just a sign that you are considered attractive/desirable to the opposite sex. Being attractive/desirable comes with its own benefits besides getting laid, getting laid is more of a litmus test. But a litmus test can be a great indicator. So yes there is an emphasis on being able to get laid, for me that's part of an indication on a man's overall potential social success. Girls are attracted to confidence and confidence leads to success. Not getting laid means there an absolute lack of confidence IMO.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
33 comments
But this drive to have sex with multiple women instead of settling with one and only one, it's a power trip.
A lack of sex can really drag down a man's soul. But I do think it's good to diversify your feelings of self worth.
So...I guess I can offer you boo-boo-kaka. I fucks big tittie granny's allz da timez?
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…
We need to ask founder to change it so that Articles can bump just like discussions do. Right now Articles are getting the short shrift.
Anyway, I said that I was having a hard time relating to GACA, that I was not like him and that I am quite sure that I never was. No ill will intended there, just telling the truth. What it seemed like to me was that he was describing wanting to get laid, but only if he can do it nonchalantly. To me that is someone who has a higher priority than getting laid.
And then with the discussion of the fat woman from El Salvador and hinting that he might be able to do something for her with her immigration papers, that is just completely out of line.
So I slept on the matter and concluded that probably GACA is just coming out of a college environment where a lot of young women do operate on the hookup script. But beyond college, most of them will revert to the slower and more conservative dating script.
So if what GACA wants is to get laid, then it should be no problem. He will just have to compromise with the women some and do it by their rules, the dating script. If on the other hand his priority is to look nonchalant, then he might be able to pull it off sometimes, but he might also run into difficulty.
In a college environment many of the women are still being supported by their parents, and also everyone is considered prescreened, and so many of the women will use the hookup script.
But beyond college, women are more careful who they associate with. They have 'standards'. It is not enough just to exude confidence and be considered attractive. They also want to know that you are measuring up to social expectations. So they need to see what you keep in your pants, your car keys and your wallet. So most of the time they will insist on the dating script.
Now I can think of two exceptions. One is P4P, and most of his here are going for some version of that.
The other is that there are usually some nightclubs which cater to people a little bit older, office workers, and the women will go home with you. But it is still all based on social status, what kind of job you have, what kind of clothes you wear, and what kind of car you drive.
So my reason for replying to GACA was just to let him know that he shouldn't take it personally if life after college is not the same as being in college. It is just that the rules are a bit different as the women are using different standards.
I certainly wish it were different, but it isn't. Challenging it head on does not work. Effective challenges have to be indirect.
Now as far as sex being about power, yes of course I completely agree with that. The sex act itself is about power, but also so are the flirtations which set it up. It is not just a one way flow of power either, it works two ways in the roles and scripts which are deployed.
In one article dealing with S and M role playing I read the insight that there are elements of dominance and submission in all human relations, and even more so when it comes to sex.
So at one of our Sunnyvale no touching clubs I was explaining this to a dancer who was describing to me how she was into restraints and even into gang rape fantasies. I told her that I did not need to employ mechanical restraints to be aggressive with a girl, holding my hands as I might to hold her wrists while pinning her on the ground. I also explained that it is very easy to injure a girl is she is in mechanical restraints. So I don't go for that.
This conversation was going extremely well with this one. And this is one of the benefits of our no touching clubs. For a modest amount of money the conversation can often get quite far, and you can get a girl quite well primed for outside relations.
And this is another example of how sex is about power. It is not just the act itself, it is also all the preliminaries. At these no touching clubs sometimes the conversation can go quite far. But other times, push it too fast, and the girl will just snap and walk away pissed. Need to be cautious about doing it. And there is a big difference between exuding confidence, and just being cocky.
SJG
Tina Turner & Chuck Berry - Rock n roll music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1LZuQ9E…
Furthermore, the hotter the girl, the more enjoyable the orgasm (and the stroking that leads up to orgasm). I didn't ENJOY the sex with ugly women, or with women who weren't physically alluring to me.
I guess that politically correct feminazi might say, that what I found physically alluring was actually culturally dictated. Rationally the feminazi could conclude, that because my dick has no eyeballs, the visual appearance of a woman actually has very little to do with how turned-on my dick should be, since her skills at blowjobs, or the firmness and lushness of her pussy, or whatever-else included in the tactile department of sexuality, are all things that must be experienced in order to be assessed. I disagree (duh, we all do) with the feminazi and say that, an INHERENT part of sexuality is IN AND OF ITSELF looking for pleasure at a hot-looking object of our gaze. Hot-looking, therefore, is part of the "it's about the orgasms" reason for sex.
Dunno why I felt I had to discredit said feminazi wrong-headed theory. But there ya go, I gave it a go because I felt I had to, wuddever ...
After all is said and done, I don't really understand "power." When people say that all relationships have a power dynamic, or that sex is about power, or that certain people have a more indomitable will than others, I don't really get what they mean. I am a bit of an Asperger's type -- nerdy, interested in logical puzzles, addicted to internet sudoku, for instance. I don't recall ever having responded, for good or ill, to someone else's indomitable will, nor do I recall ever having tried to dominate another with my own will. Maybe I've been doing so, but to a lesser extent than most people, and I just don't notice it.
Anyway, sex isn't about "power" for me. It's about FEELING GOOD on the NERVE ENDINGS.
Or maybe I'm just deluded ...
To be honest, from reading your original article I found it hard to relate to you, hard for me to understand where you are coming from.
But it seems like you want to "get laid", which in large measure you are, but that you want it without extending yourself very far.
So the girls are at least 18yo and so are you, so you have the right to try and make it go the way you want. But I am just saying that most civvies beyond college seem to expect a liitle bit more than a hookup. After college, women have a different agenda.
So while you have the right to try, since sex is about power and since it flows both ways, you might end up having to compromise with them some. And then likewise, why would you want to be expending energy to deliberately maintain emotional distance from them? Women like a guy that they can comfortably engage with, and there is nothing wrong with that.
SJG
Power determines how these instincts are satisfied.
So how are you wanting to relate your hypothesis to GACA's original post?
The way I am putting it to GACA is, do you want to get laid or do you want to be nonchalant? I suspect that it is the latter, and that this is what he means by his "groove". I'm not saying that either would be wrong. I just want to understand.
For myself, coming across as nonchalant has never been a specific objective. So it is a bit of a stretch for me to be able to relate to his posts.
SJG
Unflattering Ho Chi Minh documentary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaLwFvhW…
Flattering one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t91XJ9bI…
You wrote,
"At one point I couldn't even get the fat chick from El Salvador down stairs to come up and fuck me even when I hinted I might be able to help her get her papers."
This does not to me connote one who is likely considering those interests. It sounds like someone who only sees social hierarchy and is interested in keeping score.
SJG
Rolling Stones, Chicago 2013
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRDaguRU…