Golf Joke of the Day
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
A guy and his buddy go golfing. On the 14th tee, the guy hits his ball and hooks it into a field of buttercups.
The guy walks into the field, trampling the buttercups. When he picks up his ball, Mother Nature appears, and says, "YOU HAVE TRAMPLED MY BUTTERCUPS AND SO YOU WILL NEVER EAT BUTTER AGAIN."
The guy walks back to the tee. His buddy says, "Wow! That was terrifying!"
The guy says, "Yes, but it could have been worse."
The buddy says, "What do you mean it could have been worse? You hook the ball into the field of buttercups. You walk over the buttercups, and Mother Nature says you will never eat butter again. How could it be worse?"
The guy says, "Well, I could have sliced the ball into that field of pussy willows."
The guy walks into the field, trampling the buttercups. When he picks up his ball, Mother Nature appears, and says, "YOU HAVE TRAMPLED MY BUTTERCUPS AND SO YOU WILL NEVER EAT BUTTER AGAIN."
The guy walks back to the tee. His buddy says, "Wow! That was terrifying!"
The guy says, "Yes, but it could have been worse."
The buddy says, "What do you mean it could have been worse? You hook the ball into the field of buttercups. You walk over the buttercups, and Mother Nature says you will never eat butter again. How could it be worse?"
The guy says, "Well, I could have sliced the ball into that field of pussy willows."
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5 comments
As they were getting into the cart to go chase the balls, Charlie's friend commented, "Man, that was nice, really touching. I've never seen anything like that."
"Well," replied Charlie, "It was the least I could do for the woman I was married to for 35 years."
That was the first gold joke that popped into my head. Good one.
"Shirley, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me"
"Oh Bill, why would you ask such a question now" You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Shirley, I really want to know. Please."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."
"Three" When were they"
"Well, Bill, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan" Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked"
"Oh, Shirley, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2"
"Well, Bill, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you" Remember how Dr. Johnson came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again"
"I can't believe it! Shirley, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3"
"Well, Bill, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 15 votes short"