Dedicated to the one year anniversary...

System! System! System!

When will RickyBoy's Turing Award be presented?

you know I always get confused about which system. Now I know which one you're talking about on this thread, but what about the one where Juice recommended bringing a bucket of extra-crispy chicken into the club? That seemed fail proof as well but I have to be honest, I haven't tried that one yet.

Maybe I should make a system...hmmm what would it be:

1. Take a shower before you go to the club remembering to wash your dick. I wouldn't think I would have to remind you to wash your dick but according to many strippers, apparently a lot of guys forget to do that.
2. Be sure you hit the ATM before you go to the club. Nobody likes $20 ATM fees.
3. Don't sit right at the rail and tip every single dancer like you've never seen a naked woman before.
4. When talking to a stripper, act like you don't give a fuck about what she's saying, but at the same time act somewhat engaged (this could be hard for some).
5. Do not take anything except money (and listermint [see #8 below]) into the club, as cell phones, wallets, your lucky charm, drugs, guns, your wife, etc. only act as a distraction to yourself.
6. Wear a watch so you know what time it is (since you don't have your phone) so you know if you're under the gun to pick a stripper up before closing time.
7. Dress decent, get the fuck outta here with the sweat pants, shorts, athletic shoes, baseball cap, etc.
8. Last but not least, bring listermint in case you run into some suspect pussy, and need a quick cleanse.

... there, that seems to work pretty well for me

4 is good advice for dealing with women in general. Women don't want men who hang on their every word. The puppy dog never gets the girl. Women are most drawn to guys who are patient but moderately disinterested.

To me all of it is just common sense with a little humor added in. It amazes me how some people go against the advice given above... but there are retards everywhere, I seem to run into them everyday!

shailynn +1 for the listermint comment! That stuff is brilliant!

If I could find sombody to install a bidet that can shoot listermint I'd install that bad boy! It would be brilliant! And my taint would be uber-clean!

Your taint and balls would be on fire lol. No thanks.

On fire? We like to refer to that as a "burning sensation." For the record, a little burn from cleansing is a lot better than the permanent burn from gonorrhea.