What would you do?

You live pay check to pay check and all your cash goes to paying bills. You job is grueling and you haven't seen a naked lady in months. You have to go get some release. So on this day you forgo eating lunch and save a whopping $5 so that you can buy the one drink minimum a local SC. When you get there the bouncer (who is also the strip club manager) tells you there a $100 cover tonight because there's $50 females who are at least 7's and up giving free high contact LD's all night. You pull out your miserable $5. He laughs, but he can tell you are desperate. So he says "OK here's the deal, I'm queer as fuck and you just have the most adorable doggy eyes right now so if you french kiss me for two minutes and let me feel you junk I'll let you in the club; if you french kiss me and let me suck your dick, I'll let you in and give you a unlimited beer pass for good measure, but if you suck my dick, unlimited hours in the Champagne room with free bubbly and any and all the girls you want (they give extras) and don't worry about tipping them, so what will it be?"