Couple still being ignored

seaboardrr
Alabama
I think strippers REALLY need to work on approaching couples. If my wife tosses a dollar on stage but doesn’t get up she’s being nice because we always try to tip every dancer even if we aren’t interested in getting a LD from them. She stays seated which means “we appreciate your hard work but we aren’t interested”. When my wife is smiling at you and stands up to get physical contact with you and gives you money then that flat out means we’d like it if you came and sat with us to chat and maybe that would lead to a LD. How big of a hint do you need? If my wife has her face between your tits or your face is buried in hers that pretty much says you’re more than welcome to come talk to us.

Granted we only go to the club 1-2 times a month but when we do go we spend between $300-600. I can tell the regular strippers and waitresses we see every time DO in fact remember us so you’d think after several months some of them would figure out that my wife isn’t going to “cut a bitch”.

I know the man hating strippers over on stripper web talk about how couples NEVER get more than 1 or 2 dances and want to spend as little as possible but I just feel those strippers are the minority. On the other hand we simply cannot get a stripper to talk to us no matter how much we tip or smile or anything. We don’t leave early giving the impression that we’re just out for a couple hours of fun hanging out along the edge of the room. We usually get there around 8 or 9pm and stay until they close around 4am and the majority of the time we sit at the stage tipping and enjoying the show. When we get LD’s we’ll come back and sit at a table until a spot opens up at the stage.

We have an ATF and for the last few times she is the only one we’ve gotten LD’s from simply because no one else will talk to us. We’ll easily spend $200-300 with her each time we go. How much do strippers talk about customers? We’ve been wondering if our ATF has maybe laid claim to us and the other dancers are simply steering clear? Don’t get me wrong; we love our ATF and she tells everyone we’re her favorite couple. Tells us she loves us. Tells my wife she loves her and calls my wife her “work wife”. Her and my wife text and call each other. She will do her rounds and come back to us constantly and be all over us. Of course this could be the usual SS making sure she makes her money when we come in but I’m pretty good at reading people. Once we got her # the conversations have gone from standard getting to know you superficial things to being almost all about OTC personal everyday life conversations like you would have with any friend or co-worker.

Have we just got to start grabbing every dancer we want? If our ATF has laid down the law so to speak in the DR that we’re “her” couple would the other dancers spread the word that we’re available to the other dancers so they’ll maybe start talking to us? I wonder if we should simply point out to our ATF the ones we wanted? Even if she gets jealous that might be a good thing. Maybe our ATF could grab them and tell the ones who are up for it that we have no boundaries and need some extra special attention. We’re not getting rid of our ATF but we just want to play the field. Even if it’s just a couple dances with each stripper we like we want them to know they can talk to us. My wife loves the attention and every time one of them talks to her they compliment her and it makes her feel amazing. She knows it’s mostly bullshit just to get a tip but she likes it anyway. I just want them to talk to her. Don’t care if they talk to me. I just supply the money and as our ATF says I’m the stunt dick between the 3 of us.

Yes, I know I can ramble. Sorry.

30 comments

Latest

  • jackslash
    10 years ago
    I think you're right. The ATF has told the other dancers that you're HER customers.

    Try going to a different club or to the same club when the ATF isn't working.
  • shadowcat
    10 years ago
    Try bringing some cocaine. There was a couple that we called the cocaine couple and they were always surrounded by 3-6 girls all afternoon long. Used to piss me off because they got some of the hotter women.
  • JohnSmith69
    10 years ago
    Are there some different clubs you can try? Some clubs are more couples friendly than others. Also, why not set up an OTC date with the ATF? Sounds like she might be willing.
  • sclvr5005
    10 years ago
    It does sound like you two might have been marked by your ATF, which backfired on you. Also- tipping every dancer onstage, especially just a buck, might signal them that you guys like the stage show but aren't interested in getting any dances. My advice would be to stop tipping every dancer, and heavily tip only the dancers that you really want dances from.
  • tobala
    10 years ago
    Sounds like it's time to give the Cherry another chance. Try dayshift if possible. No cover charge and no" ""VIP Tables" .
  • lopaw
    10 years ago
    Sorry to hear that, seaboardrr. Couples, since the beginning of time have complained about being ignored in clubs. I agree with sclvr5005's suggestion, because you and the missus might be viewed as pure voyeurs, except for the time you spend with your ATF. And yeah- you might have been claimed by her. Dancers share a lot of intel with each other in the DR, that's for sure. Maybe next time you see her you can ask the ATF if there are any other couples-friendly dancers that she can recommend. Gauging her reaction will give you great insight to where she thinks she stands with you two. Also- you guys will have to be a lot more aggressive in getting dancers attention- don't simply invite them back to your table to visit- make it clear that you are wanting to buy dances. You might have lost the ability to pick and choose at this point- you may have to lay down some coin on a few dancers that you haven't been able to visit with. Other dancers seeing you getting dances from others will help your cause. Worse comes to worse take some of the info that you gleen here to another club and start over.
  • Tiredtraveler
    10 years ago
    I have talked to dancers about couples and women in clubs and I have had more than one tell me they are not comfortable doing dances for women. You will just have to find the right girl that like to please women and be pleased by women.
  • Clubber
    10 years ago
    Pass out copies of your rule book when you enter a club.
  • lotsoffun201
    10 years ago
    At least in Vegas, vice often times masquerades as couples. There may be a fear issue there. Might I suggest hinting you're not uncle LEO upfront and there just for fun? Just a thought b
  • JamesSD
    10 years ago
    I think your legs may smell of your ATFs metaphorical piss. Dancers can be VERY territorial with regulars, and it's not worth it for most dancers to piss off a coworker chasing a couple hundred bucks.

    Your wife may need to start actively flagging down new talent. Bluntly tell girls to come find you guys after her stage set.

    It sounds like you are clubbing during peak hours. I agree that you may get more personal attention if you try day clubbing.
  • xxxrated
    10 years ago
    Maybe , the dancers don't now how to approach a couple.......You may have to do some self -recruitment(approach the dancer and bring her back to your table).............
  • seaboardrr
    10 years ago
    Hmmmmm. I didn’t think about tipping every dancer being a problem but that’s an interesting thought. The ones we actually stand up and interact with we usually tip a few dollars more but if there’s a little spinner doing her thing we’ll sit there and tip a dollar or two. Never thought that might signify we’re just there enjoying the show. I don’t think we’ll stop tipping because we just think that’s rude but maybe we can start throwing a few extra dollars on top of the few extra bucks we put up for the ones we like and actually interact with on stage. We always talk about our “game plan” in the days before we go so I guess we need to discuss my wife being more vocal with the dancers we want letting them know we really want them to come see us after their rotation. Good point.

    We have gotten dances from a couple others and my wife always asks what their boundaries are which makes them in turn ask what our boundaries are. My wife has told every one of them that we have no boundaries and they can do anything they want without having to ask. Every single stripper upon hearing that has gotten a huge smile (almost as in disbelief) on their face and their eyes got as big as silver dollars with surprise. Needless to say they dove right in and went to town on us. We sort of figured this might be passed around to other dancers in the DR and make us more approachable but it hasn’t.

    Lopaw, you’re thinking like I am. I think we’re to the point where we need to really make our ATF understand she is our ATF and she has no worries of losing that spot but we want her to set us up with other dancers we like who will do what she knows we are looking for. I think that might be our best bet. We hate spending money only to finish and look at each other with the same “that’s it” look on our faces. We’d rather get 3 or 4 dances in a row with the same dancer who makes it worth our while. We always get anywhere from 2-4 dances in a row from our ATF several times a night because we know what to expect. Our ATF knows we’re going to get dances from her and we’ve flat out told her to go make her rounds and make her money and we’ll be there when she has some time. She constantly comes by to play with my wife and me and talk and drink and then she does her rounds again. I think we need to get her to hook us up when she does her rounds.

    Tobola, we actually went to the cherry last Friday night to see Teagan Presley and Alexis Texas. Alexis Texas actually sat at a table right next to us when she got there for about half an hour. We had planned on staying all night but by 11:30 we were done and went to the pony. The whole night we only saw 1 dancer we were somewhat interested in. I’ll do another write up about the cherry when feature dancers come to town soon. We can’t go during the day. Friday and Saturday night are our only free times.
  • LeeH
    10 years ago
    Clubber is exactly right. How the hell are the dancers supposed to know that when you do X, it means Y?
  • JamesSD
    10 years ago
    In general dancers don't care if you stage tip $1 vs $3 vs $5. Most don't dance for stage money, although I'm sure they don't mind it.
  • seaboardrr
    10 years ago
    We just assumed that by tipping more when they're on stage and actually getting up and interacting with them would let them know we were interested in more than just the stage show.
  • sclvr5005
    10 years ago
    JamesSD is wrong for the most part. Most dancers do care about stage tips...it tells them who to go hunt down after their stage show. Yeah they dont dance for stage money, but when they are on stage they are selling themselves, often to the highest bidder. Tipping $10 or $20 will get their attention- just be sure that they know that it is you putting it up there. Nothing sucks more than tossing a large bill ( or making it sprinkle) on stage only to either have the dancer not see it, or having her think someone else did it.
  • seaboardrr
    10 years ago
    We always try to toss money on stage when they're looking but sometimes my wife will throw up a dollar or 2 when they aren't looking or right when they look away. Problem is she tries to throw it towards the middle and I keep telling her to just toss it a little ways so it's obvious it's in front of us and we're the ones who put it up there. Biggest we've ever thrown on stage though is a $5 bill and she'll get several of those. But we do it with her because we already know what kind of return we'll be getting. So if we throw a $5 or 10 to another dancer would that let her know we're definitely interested?
  • seaboardrr
    10 years ago
    Meant to say we toss our ATF several fives when she's on stage.
  • sclvr5005
    10 years ago
    If you are tossing multiple $5's to your ATF, the other dancers know it. Sounds like your ATF has peed on you nicely to guard her property. Sounds doubtful that if you started tossing bigger bills to other dancers that they will approach you, but it won't hurt to try. Try throwing a $10 and at the same time tell her that you two would like dances.If that don't work its time to either confront the ATF per lopaw's recommendation, or give this club a break and go elsewhere for awhile.
  • Dolfan
    10 years ago
    I'm kinda surprised no one else mentioned it (or if they did, I missed it), but I think you've got to simply accept that not all dancers are going to be eager or even willing to dance for couples. Similar to the way there's some girls who don't approach groups of guys or even based on race or some other equally arbitrary criterion. For whatever reason, they've decided couples aren't their cup of tea. And as contrary to our usual mantra, that reason may not be simply money.

    Also, I'd say stop trying to drop hints that you're interested and just say when you tip at the stage. A simple "hey, we'd love for you to stop by our table when you're free" is much, much less ambiguous than a $5 and a smile; especially if you're tipping every girl and sitting at the stage. It's easy to perceive customers who sit at the stage and tip everyone tend to "just" wanting do that. Customers who sit at a table and tip some girls give off the perception that they are interested in "that" girl.

    And as far as the "girls don't care about stage tips" - I gotta call BS. Maybe its a regional thing, but there's plenty of girls who live off stage tips around here. Hell, there's girls at Rhino who simply won't do a champagne room, lap dance, or even sit on your lap. They only work peak hours and only go on stage. I'm sure there's plenty of girls who will do them, but still make more off the stage than off private dances.
  • FullPress
    10 years ago
    Interesting thread. We are a couple too and don't club in the states because we want OTC like NOW which is totally legal in Tj ( which we are close to) and some other parts of mexico (the girls are medically worked up every month so yes it's safe). I (wife) want to tip everyone too as a sign of respect and that I am "safe". But we might be coming off as lookie loos. Thanks for the advice
  • H5N1
    10 years ago
    I go with my wife a lot. First thing is only tip a girl on stage that you want to come over - not all of them otherwise you look like your just sitting at the rail and tipping and not there to get LDs. Second is don't sit at the rail. Sit at a table and then walk up and tip a girl you like. Never throw the tip down. Wait and then hand it to her or tuck it in or whatever but at that same time tell her you want some dances when she's done on stage. I usually handle this and point to my wife and she'll smile so the girl gets that she's cool with getting dances.

    Your ATF might not have even warned the other girls off - they may just assume you are there to see here and leave you alone.
  • seaboardrr
    10 years ago
    Yeah, what i'm getting from everyone is we need to stop sitting at the stage the majority of the night. We love sitting there and tipping all the dancers but I get that we're probably giving off the wrong vibe PLUS the whole unwritten rule of don't poach a customer at the tip rail thing. We have sat at tables away from the stage on a few occasions and I enjoy it but we still tip. The big difference is mrs sea is the one who will go up and interact with the dancer and tip so they should know she's open to the activities there. She never drops it and runs either. She always gets titties in her face or her titties in their face or both. She just needs to be more aggressive and spell it out for the dancers we want to spend some time with. Next time we go she will be. We feel that she needs to be the one in charge at the SC so everyone knows she WANTS to be there and is wanting to have fun and not there because I made her go.

    Last time we went our ATF's main competition (according to our ATF) was sitting next to us with another customer away from the stage. While our ATF was off making the rounds this other dancer starting talking with us for a few minutes and eventually said "if you guys would like I could give you a REALLY good dance". Our ATF was coming back and since we had just gotten there not 30 minutes before I guess without thinking mrs sea told her maybe later since we had just arrived. Next time I think we need to grab her competition because that might easily get the word around that we haven't been "peed on" lol.
  • LeeH
    10 years ago
    Can we just go ahead and change the title of this thread to "people who are too lazy to walk 2 feet still being ignored"? Doesn't matter if you're a male, female, couple, or orangutan orgy -- throwing money is just rude. The other dancers (for whom you actually get your ass up) aren't going to differentiate.

    I also find it flabbergasting that you actually expect someone else to know that "A means B, but C means D". Even if we dismiss the notion that most strippers aren't really bright, none of them are psychic. How the hell are they supposed to know what your little code is?
  • seaboardrr
    10 years ago
    We were only looking for helpful insight from people who have been doing this longer than us. Sorry to offend you.
  • LeeH
    10 years ago
    Nice way of turning the issue around -- supposedly, *I'm* offended, so there's probably something wrong with me.
  • motorhead
    10 years ago
    I'm not part of a couple -- but I think my advice should still be useful.

    I'm old, fat, and bald. Yet my ATF was the hottest girl in the club. A rare 10. No kidding. She spent every minute with me.

    There is no secret. Show her the money. Not chump change stage tips. Serious cash. It's not rocket science.
  • georgmicrodong
    10 years ago
    Agree with LeeH and motorhead. Subtlety is not your friend.

    "We'd like to get some lap dances and fondle your titties. Come see us when you get off stage?"

  • LeeH
    10 years ago
    gmd is being gracious by saying subtlety is not your friend. In a strip club, subtlety will get you as much action as a forehead tattoo that says, "Free STDs Here".
  • FullPress
    10 years ago
    Thanks for this discussion. We too get a bit ignored (and now understsnd this could be dancers respecting me. The wife. We strictly do this south if the border) and maybe or obviously need to step up our actions. Being a couple has its downside. I can seriously send my husband in as a lure and then join him but don't know if that would freak the ladies out. We would like to be more aggressive but also don't want to "force" someone into sitting (and more) with us if she has no interest in women. I wish there Was a secret code. Expect a review within two weeks I hope it's a good one. I hope you single guys know how easy you have it!
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