Two bums were wandering down the railroad tracks when they saw a dog licking his balls.
One said,"I wish I could do that"!
The other said, "better pet him first"
Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
Two bums were hungry and counted their change.
"Dang" said one, "we can't buy anything"
The second said, "well, we have enough for a wish sandwich"
" whats that?" said the first
The second replied, "That's two slices of bread, and you WISH there was some meat"
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"Dang" said one, "we can't buy anything"
The second said, "well, we have enough for a wish sandwich"
" whats that?" said the first
The second replied, "That's two slices of bread, and you WISH there was some meat"