Good Conversation

Diamond,
First of all, for what it's worth, the term is "down pat", not "down packed". Unless you have different expressions in Ontario... :)

As far as conversation, there's no right answer. Some guys want the girls to act like they're girlfriends, others want them to move along so they can get with another girl they have their eye on. You never know.

But it's good you're trying to do better. A lot of girls don't give a shit.

It's a tough job to go up to strange guys all shift and talk to them. So all I can suggest is be nice, don't be rude, and if you sense they want you to move on, then move on. And if they're easy to talk to, that means they want to talk so just talk to them.

And no, guys aren't mysterious. We're very straightforward. Women just try to read things into everything we do, when in fact there's not much to read. We're there to see hot chicks and have fun. Some guys want girls to act like girlfriends, and others just want to chill. If they seem like they're not very talkative, it's because they're not, and you can probably say thanks and move on.

Your writing skills are atrocious. Please re-write and post again so we can make some sense out of what the hell you are saying.

If you talk like you type that would explain why you have conversation issues.

Lol remember the old saying 'fuck this I'll just become a stripper' but yes I do agree my writing skills are not the best but that's off topic if you are not willing to help me with my convo skills perhaps you could inbox me some grammar lessons? But I synthesize that you just enjoy picking on ppls weaknesses to make urself have a temporary boost in self confidence.. Trust me my life is horrible enough I don't need you to remind me my grammar is terrible :)

I synthesize with you.

I like punctuation

Diamondxo, I suspect guys are put off by the topics you choose. Maybe you should focus on the following:

1) How much you like the Colonels's XXXtra KRIS-pay drumsticks.
2) How much you dig dudes with really fat sausage fingers.
3) The fact that you were born a hunchback and have steel rods in your spine.
4) How much you dig guys that wear spacesuits everywhere they go.

Doesn't matter if any of these are true. Guys just like to talk about that shit.

Conversation can be awkward if you have limited skills. The way to improve is to listen carefully, read body language and most important: don't fake it. If a guy is talking about a subject you're clueless on, don't pretend you know what he's talking about. Just say, "Hey, you seem really up on xxxx; tell me more!" Try and find a passion you have that the guy might be familiar with. Sex is always a good common denominator in a club, so if you say, "My last b/f never did xxxx but it's something I like. If we had sex would you do it?" I promise you you'll sell a ton of dances. And you didn't tell him you'd have sex with him so you didn't lie.

Also, stay current. My ATF sneezed and I made an ebola joke (this was a few months ago) and she said, "What's ebola?"....that was the beginning of the end.

I'm not trying to "enjoy picking on ppls weaknesses to make urself have a temporary boost in self confidence" - but you're asking about conversational skills. They're quite related to writing skills and grammar. If you aren't interested in putting a little time and effort into increasing your vocabulary and correcting your grammar, I suspect you'll likely continue to struggle to effectively converse with the type of customer you offend when you "walk up and start talking all nasty." You can accept that and work to improve it to increase your success with those customers or you can ignore it and effectively ignore those customers. Eventually, you'll likely have to work on it. If you're young and cute now, you can probably specialize and focus on customers who are purely interested in physical stimulation. As you get older, you'll likely find your appeal with those customers fades. What you're left with is the customers who like intellectual stimulation. You'll likely also find that, on average, those customers spend a fuckton more money, because they have more to spend. If you intend to move on from stripping, those skills will likely serve you well in the "real" world too.

Then, getting more to the point, not all guys are the same. There is no magic topic of conversation that will work on everyone. In your position, I'd start with asking if you can join them first. If you're just plopping down without asking, you're odds are already down. The customer may be focused on the stage, or have is eye on someone else. If that's the case, your mere presence may annoy him, regardless of the what you say or do. Also, that simple question gives you an opportunity to read the customer a bit. You can follow his lead, if he responds crudely, you can probably get right to the nasty talk. If he responds politely, you should likely do the same. Once you're over that hill, your odds should increase.

First off, congratulations on asking the people from whom you're hustling money for the best ways to do so. :)

Second, your supposition that you'll need to learn to read men better is the exact truth. There is no one true way to get all men to give you their money. Even sex doesn't work for *every* man. Crazy, I know, but it's true.

Some want some time and a nice conversation, and maybe somebody to laugh at their lame jokes. Others want a grind good enough to nut in their pants, and to hell with the conversation. Still others want a nasty slut to tell them all the dirty things they'll do to them. And every combination and variation of those and more.

You are also probably not going to be able, or even want, to be all things to all customers, so in addition to reading, you'll need to learn when to get up and leave when things are going places you don't want.

There are some things that are nearly universal.

Smile. Most guys, aside from complete sociopaths, are hardwired to react positively to a woman who smiles. That's partly because we tend to assume that *we* are the cause of that smile. Silly, but true.

Don't lie. If you tell a guy you're ok with jerking, sucking or fucking, then follow through when he ponies up the asking price. If you have no intention of fucking him, don't say, hint or otherwise imply that you will.

I agree with the "smile" comments. Acting like you are happy to be there does wonders.

One thing I've always found to be a bit of a bummer is when a girl might sit down and right away start with the "I haven't made ANY money today." Or starts off complaining about another girl or a manager or DJ or whatever...

Most guys I know go to the strip club to get away from the problems/issues of everyday life. If you want us to spend money on you, don't be a downer or a complainer. Most of us don't like our jobs or our significant other, or co-workers either. But we come to get away from that stuff. A positive attitude goes along way, at least with me it does.

Oh, and if you sit with a guy and he's buying you a drink or drinks... Don't, under any circumstances, ask the guy to compensate you for your time spent talking/sitting if he's buying you drinks. If he wants to give you a little something for your time, he will offer it.
I've had a few girls ask me for money for sitting with me after I have bought them $18 drinks or something similar. Total mood killer. And makes it a certainty that if I'm ever back in that club and the same girl is working, I will avoid her at all costs as this screams ROB.

It's not polite to talk with your mouth full. :)

"Even sex doesn't work for *every* man."

What kind of man is that? Obviously there are "guys" like jerikson who think a vagina is nasty looking, but treating them as "men" seems to only confuse the issue.

I would've said that sex is the only type of communication that all men understand.

I like girls who smile and introduce themselves before they sit down.

Shadow sez: "It's not polite to talk with your mouth full. :)"

HAHAAHAA !!!! Bingo, that's the correct answer !!!

I thought Canada was supposed to have a better educational system than the U.S. :)

"I thought Canada was supposed to have a better educational system than the U.S."

It probably does. But even in Canada I think you have to go to school first before you can learn stuff... :)

Being a good conversationalist and/or breaking the ice can be tough for a lot of people for various reasons.

As others have stated – custies are all over the place when it comes to preferences – but I don’t think “conversation” is at the top of the list, or the primary reason, custies go to SCs (although it may be for some).

There is a saying in Spanish that translated goes something like “men fall in love thru the eyes and women thru the ears” – yeah yeah – I know – this does not apply to every man nor every woman; but I think is a fair generalization.

You don’t have to be Barbara Walters to be a good dancer and sell dances; and you especially don’t want lo look like her LOL – so don’t stress so much about the conversation aspect since SCs are not about engaging in intellectual debate.

Some basic things IMO:

+ as others have mentioned; better to ask a custy something along the lines of “would you like some company” rather than plunking down beside them when they may not be interested b/c you are not their type looks wise

+ you don’t have to spend a prolonged time talking w/ the custy unless the club is sorta dead – if he likes/wants you, you should not have to spend more than 5 minutes talking b/f getting down to biz

+ talk about light things you may be familiar with – i.e. ask him how he likes the club; now often he visits; any other clubs he likes to visit; what type of dancers he likes – simple; light; not too personal; SC related things

+ look for eye contact – if a custy is eyeing you either when you are on stage or walking around; that’s often a clue he is already interested in you/likes-you and you really don’t have to convince him w/ your convo


Maybe Canadian clubs are different and convo is a big thing in those clubs and maybe what I’ve outlined does not apply?

Also – this is a customer, mostly male, site – if you want feedback from fellow dancers check out stripperweb.com which is a site for dancers.

Papi sez: "There is a saying in Spanish that translated goes something like “men fall in love thru the eyes and women thru the ears”"

And that's true for the most part. Very true.

Papi sez: "You don’t have to be Barbara Walters to be a good dancer and sell dances"

Shit. Now I have to wash my eyes out with soap to get rid of that visual....

Lol I'm not an idiot I can carry an intellectual conversation my brain is just crammed with biology n I got like 3hrs sleep :(

What would I like? I would like to drink beer and watch hot girls on stage while another hot girl sits on my lap and doesn't ask too many questions. I'm watching the girls on stage. However if there's someone I'm not too interested in going on stage, that's a good time to distract me with conversation. If you see the guy looking around a lot, either he's not interested in the girl on stage or he's more interested in something else.

When I just meet someone, I'm not interested in them talking dirty. I've read people enjoy talking to someone who listens to their stories. If you know something about the topic but let the other person do a lot of the talking, they might think of you as someone they like talking to. Sometimes you just have to get someone talking about something they like and act interested in it. If a guy wants to talk about a sports game and you say you can't stand that sport, you'll shut them down fast. He'll be like, next. or get lost. Of course you can try to find a topic you're more interested in if there is such a topic. Some guys don't want to talk.

diamondxo,

Why ask the question Good Convo? That's BS.

You know lemme tell ya something I don't want in a SC, I don't like long convo.

You don't need to have this skill.

You then say: "What the fuck dude, say it."

Well, you have to have IT, you know, my eyes need to pop out of my sockets first then usually my Benjamins will walk out of my wallet heading to your direction.

What AL said.... Gotta want to fuck you first. Then I don't really care what you say other than "I'll let you rub my ass as and suck my tits if you buy a dance"

Diamond, maybe you could get some help from a server/shot girl/floorman/bartender? Have them chat up new guys, ask what type of dancer they are looking for. With that intel in hand you'd know better how to pitch yourself when you roll up on the guy. Anyone who expects a tipout from you should be willing to help you bank.

That said, I think the dancers who make the best money are the ones who find regulars that they just naturally click with.

Try asking them about themselves. People like talking about themselves. Find out what they're into. If its something you are into as well, use that common ground to start a conversation. If you don't know anything about what they're interested in have them teach you about it. Good luck.

Personally, my ideal conversation from a stripper goes something like this....and I'm thinking of one of my favorite black strippers in a club in da hood...

"Damn, baby, look at you wit' dat big ol' dick...Ooooo, yeah, baby...damn that feels good baby....you want me suck on dat baby? Let's go baby, come on...."

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout....

How much are you charging for conversation? You might find more takers if you lower your rates until you get it down--er, until you acquire the skills.

Diamond it sounds like you could make lots of money from old uptight white guys by charging them to grammar-dom you.

I think you just need to be real and introduce yourself and ask a question like how's your night going ? If he says terrible ask what you could do to make his night more fun. If he says great just tell him you're glad he chose to visit and make him feel welcome. Come on this isn't rocket science. It's just good communication skills !

I have learned that the less they talk the better.